ONLY TIME

Disclaimer

The principal characters of my story belongs to the BBC and their Merlin Series. This is my first Arthur/Gwen fanfic, please review :-)

ARTHUR

Five years…five very long, solitary, difficult, adjusting years filled with a broken spirit and a singular longing for a beauty whose name he scarcely affirms because of its crushing effects….Gwen…Guinevere. How could he have let her go?

Many years had passed since he learnt of Morgana's cruel role and bitter intentions of breaking apart their love. Indeed in many ways she had achieved her goal. Much too late now… if only Merlin had come across the enchanted bracelet; discovered the dark magic encrypted on its surface sooner. Too late to take back his insensitive remarks and curses heaped upon one so undeserving, so innocent. He still envisioned the sadness and strain in those lovely brown hues, her disheveled hair and clothing - longing to get him to understand and just listen. He wouldn't, couldn't hear her above the noise of his jealous mind and all the evidence he witnessed. To him alone should her body respond, her lips kiss, her arms encircle. That day he imagined so many horrible things about her that he couldn't bare her sight any further now today he wishes he could have taken it all back.

No, no, no, no….Arthur!

I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry.

For a brief moment he closes his eyes. Although he sent countless search parties in village after village, Gwen remained elusive. Because he had sent her off alone, he feared the worst may have happened yet he never risked considering the awful possibility of her fate. The revelation that Merlin possessed magical capabilities shocked and aggrieved him. At first he felt somewhat betrayed that another close ally kept him in the dark about something so important but after a while he completely understood Merlin's trepidation. Looking back at those strange occurrences, Merlin's disappearances at inexplicable moments and his life being sparred in the midst of dire situations could now be explained. Of course he asked,

"Is she well?"

"Yes Sire, very well."

"Do you know where?"

"I'm sorry…no."

"How could you not know?

"Sire, I'm still working on my craft. There is much to learn and understand. So far this has not been revealed to me."

"Please try…"

"I shall continue to try."

"Guinevere," he boldly whispers to none but himself and takes in a deep breath.

Alone he stands in the center of the throne room adorned in his chainmail, Pendragon red cloak, waiting for his trusted advisor Merlin to arrive and give him counsel and a little bit of solace. The guards are posted outside the doors, this conversation meant to be private. Often in these quiet moments his mind reflects. Still lost in thought his right thumb and fingers gently massage his tension-filled forehead.

Over the years only the love for Camelot and his people kept him from descending into a sort of madness. Try as she may he wouldn't dare allow Morgana to utilize any of his weaknesses to reclaim the throne. The council meetings, training, forging new alliances with distant kingdoms as well as his people's interests kept his mind fairly active. As for his physical desires, alcohol and a few willing maids and noble women warmed his cot. The bed belonged to him and his future Queen. He'd gazed at their naked bodies – the fullness of their breasts, the curve of their hips, feeling the wetness between their thighs then pleasured himself afterwards. Although he never got the opportunity to enjoy the experience, none compared to Guinevere. Nevertheless many of his conquests aspired to become the next Guinevere; to capture his heart as she had done. They would banter amongst others and wonder to themselves if one day they would be lucky enough to be chosen since King Arthur didn't choose based on a woman's heritage. Foolish women… don't they understand once a heart is captured it can never surrender to another again.

The sound of the huge palace doors being pushed forward and then slamming shut interrupted his musings. Finally…

"Sire," Merlin bows slightly. "You've sent for me."

"Yes and as usual you've taken your own time in coming. Or should I remark that you've been keeping company with Ellen," he quipped. Merlin had traded in his standard neckerchief. No longer the lanky teenage boy, he fitted well in his dark blue shirt, black pants and brilliant red robe. He also sported a beard which he informed Arthur made him look more qualified to be his advisor.

Immediately Merlin clarified, "I certainly have not. While Ellen admires my talents, I think she is misguided."

Amusing banter with Merlin usually calmed him.

"What talents are we speaking about Merlin?" he asked rather quickly, shifting an eyebrow.

"Arthur! Don't try to distract from why you've called this meeting. You appear to be distressed. There have been rumors flying around Camelot. Have you made a decision already?"

Arthur sighed, "Yes I've made a decision. It hasn't been easy but it must be carried through. Camelot needs a Queen and heir to carry on its glorious future. I don't want everything we have created to have all been in vain; some unknown figurehead who doesn't understand Camelot to be placed on its throne. Camelot deserves better."

As Merlin takes a few steps away, Arthur resigned on his throne, resting his chin in the palm of his left hand.

"So we return to tradition?"

"Merlin it has to be done this way! I can never marry for love unless it's her."

"Why can't you say her name?"

"Why can't you say where she is? I know you know so don't choose to lie to me!"

Merlin turned to face him and shouted back, "I choose to protect my friend!"

Arthur slams his hands at the armrest, glaring at him. "So now you speak the truth! I'm also your friend. You are my most trusted advisor. Didn't you once say that Guinevere was destined to become Queen and rule by my side?"

"Yes… but for now she doesn't want to be found and as her friend I'm respecting her wishes."

He doesn't know why but Merlin's words stun him. He briefly pauses.

"So she doesn't wish to be found by me," he says as the words mechanically fall from his lips. "Is it all you can say? Does she not love me anymore?"

"My magical prowess doesn't delve into the affairs of the human heart and you know this Arthur… Why do you continue to torture everyone including yourself?" This time he didn't look at him instead he returned to the window and started staring at the servants walking to and fro. Evening was fast approaching, the sun fading behind the horizon.

"Because I'm to blame for Camelot not having its rightful Queen... And do know that even if I find her that she hates me for what I've done to her, to us. By now she must be married and the mother of beautiful children…," his voice trails off.

"Arthur we all share the blame for not believing in her. No matter how far we've moved on with our lives, Gwen still haunts us and her banishment is a stain on the goodness of Camelot."

"Come look in my eyes Merlin." Merlin slowly made his way pass throne then turned to face Arthur. "Do you still foresee Guinevere on a throne next to mine?"

Merlin lowered his gaze. "It's complicated…it is as you imagined earlier but something isn't quite right."

Merlin's last words didn't register in Arthur's mind. He felt like someone delivered a swift blow across his face. He inhaled then slowly exhaled. Soon Arthur rose from his seat. "We can no more dwell in this sorrow and omission. We've wasted too many years and it's time for us to move forward," he stated in his kingly tone. "Camelot will be the envy of all other kingdoms and shortly I shall remedy the missing part."

He strode quickly past Merlin, his cloak swept across the floor.

"Arthur…Arthur…let me resolve this before you've made any rash decisions!"

"The King has spoken Merlin!"

GUINEVERE

Until recently her years away from Camelot had been pretty decent considering her past sorrows. She dwelled in the distant village of Florin, a small community under the rule of King Willard of the Kingdom of Alba. While many villagers toiled in the fields, there also was a carpenter, blacksmith and fletcher. Gwen married the fletcher named Maklyn Pyrtun and within a year they produced a son named Albert. They lived at the edge of the village and kept an adequate home filled with the basics for everyday existence. Her hand sown dresses were simplistic in style. Those dark, flowing, curly locks were hidden underneath a headdress with only a few loose strands visible.

Often the people in Florin came to Gwen for most of their serious health concerns. She still retained many of the lessons that Gaius taught her and carried on the practice administering of herbal medicines. The villagers knew very little about her past but appreciated the kindness she showed whilst in her care. They paid her with whatever they could which could be vegetables, eggs, or services.

She shared some of her secrets with Maklyn. He knew of her home: Camelot, her love: Arthur and all that had transpired between them which led to her banishment. He marveled at her description of the castle, Camelot's citizens and their new king.

"Do you still believe King Arthur to be a fair man?"

"No matter my grievance, I still believe that he is going to be one of Camelot's greatest kings. Unlike his father Uther, he cares and understands his people."

"He may be a wise king but he is still a foolish man to have ever let you go."

"Maklyn you flatter me with your kind words."

"It's based on observation my dear Gwen. Do you wish to return to Camelot?"

"I can never go back. It may mean my life."

"Are you certain?"

"Very certain…"

"Then stay with me and let's create a life together filled with new and better memories."

Gwen accepted his offer and appreciated the care and attention he gave her without asking much in return. With that she willing offered Maklyn the gift of herself which would have been given to Arthur on their wedding night…no regrets. The birth of their son Albert brought an even more unexpected joy and love that surpassed anything she had ever experienced. Still there were times when she retraced memories of her time with Arthur and all that should have been if only he had seen past his jealously. She loved him so much. She gave him her heart completely. Her reactions to Lancelot and subsequent betrayal of Arthur perplexed her greatly. Yet hadn't she shed enough tears for their lost love? It has been lost to both of them a long time ago...a very long time ago.

"We shouldn't be meeting like this."

I recalled a time when you sought out my counsel. Without my help where would you be now?

"And it was a fair bargain so why trouble me now?"

Because soon Arthur will come and claim what belongs to him as he would put it – what you stole away…

"Gwen is committed to her vows, to her home and together we have a son and share a life. She would never leave."

As foolish men have done before, you underestimate your opponent especially his advisor Merlin. He possesses great magic and will easily see through this façade that we have created.

"Then it would be in your best interests to assist me further."

For now I'll dismiss your arrogance and stupidity. I could squash you like a slug underneath my toes but alas I must side aside such enjoyment – you are far too valuable alive than dead. Look for my seeing you again sooner than you realize.

"And what of Arthur's arrival? When should we expect it? Please answer when...when…when!"