Special Product
Summary: Naruto is given a special doll by Jiraiya…
Note: Naruto is 16 in this story. thoughts, "…" spoken word
Enjoy the Fic! Disclaimer:I renounce the rights to anything I didn't create...OBVIOUSLY
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Chapter 1: BEHOLD!!!
Electric blue eyes swept the hallway of the apartment complex frantically, looking for something with irritated frustration. A sigh of agitation worked its way loose of the blonde shinobi's lips before he slammed the door and slumped against it, a restless frown accompanying his rapidly tapping foot.
"Where the hell is it?" he wondered aloud to himself. "Sensei said it would be here today dammit!" Naruto thought back a couple days to when he had been told about the product by his sensei.
-----Flashback---
Smoke Filled the building as cheers, catcalls and the thumping bass of "Get Low" rang out through the congested air. The scents of lust, alcohol, and cigars were heavy in the atmosphere of the club, filling Naruto's nose every time he took a breath. But, he was more or less ignoring it.
The Blonde's mental power was put toward watching enviously as men both his age and older easily conversed with the fairer sex. All of them seeming to have god-given knowledge on how to approach and attract females with ease. It's not fair! Naruto mentally groaned, his eyes sliding across the floor only to behold a certain Uchiha whispering in some big breasted girl's ear, grinning as she blushed and giggled before she turned around and captured his lips in a kiss.
Of course, Naruto nearly roared in frustration.
"What the hell is it that every other freakin' male on the planet seems to know about females that I don't?" He muttered, conveniently forgetting that he could easily talk to a certain blue haired Hyuga if he wanted.
Naruto sulked from his balcony seat, not noticing the approach of the greatest pervert the world has ever known, from his right.
"Naruto, what are you doing here?" The loud mouthed Sannin questioned, grinning from ear to ear at his two beautiful young companions.
The fox-container simply glared balefully at the white haired ninja for breaking his sullen mood. why the hell does he seem to pop up at the worse times possible he wondered, briefly thinking that the universe was waving a big "FUCK YOU!" signwith a flashing neon arrow pointing at him. He chuckled with sham amusement before turning back towards the dance floor, mentally willing his sensei to leave.
Of course he would never be that lucky.
Jiraiya had by now of course noticed his pupils brooding mood, and quickly noticed the young man's lack of female companionship. Putting two and two together a devious plot formed in the perverted hermit's mind, a low evil chuckle working its way loose of his throat as he rubbed his hands together; scaring the crap out of his female company.
The old man pulled out a stool next to Naruto, and planted a large hand on the teenagers back. "Naruto, what would you say to me helping you with your predicament hmmm?" He questioned, knowing the exact sequence of events that was to follow
The blonde immediately glared at him suspiciously (which Jiraiya had expected) before questioning, "What exactly do you mean by help" Jiraiya immediately responded: "I mean just that, I know a way that would help you to understand how to court a female. No perverted antics this time Naruto, I just don't want to see my student and future Hokage brood for the rest of his life cause' he never made it with a girl before." He started off comfortingly, ending with the dry tone to end all dry tones.
Naruto seemed to consider for a few minutes before concluding: what the hell, it's not like I have anything to loose… " Alright sensei, what do I need to do?" he inquired, trying his best not to sound eager.
Mentally, Jiraiya bellowed maliciously as demonic chakra flared around him, doing a little Jig with a victory sign waving over his head.
"Just wait for a package in the mail four days from now Naruto, everything will be explained from there."
And with that, the Sannin got up and left with his female 'friends'.
--End Flashback--
Naruto sighed again for the umpteenth time as he briefly glanced at the clock. 1:35 PM was displayed in bright red numbers, as if mocking him for thinking it would be any other time of day. He walked away from the door and slumped down on a comfortable reclining chair, entering a medative state as he attempted to clear his mind of all frustrations, calming his nerves that were snapping with anticipation, worry, and annoyance at the lateness of the freaking mail man.
This lasted all of forty seconds before a knock rang out against the oak door at the entrance into his abode.
Of course Naruto bolted for it like Choji when he hears the word "food".
The mailman jumped in surprise as the door was ripped open, a crimson eyed blonde from hell waiting on the other side.
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!" He roared, flames from the underworld spouting up around him, scaring the living shit out of the poor man before him.
"I-I h-had a f-few extra d-d-deliveries to m-make sir, s-sorry if I'm l-late." He sputtered out, cowering in fear of the hell-spawn that stood before him.
"A FEW DELIVERIES, YOU'RE TWO HOURS, FORTY MINUTES AND TWELVE SECONDS LATE YOU SONNOVA BITCH!" Naruto honestly did very nearly transform into the Kyuubi right then and there.
The man screamed in terror before trying to pacify the raging shinobi by quickly taking out the signing sheet. "I-if you w-would please sign h-here, I can g-give you y-your package s-sir." He managed to spit out, his heart beating twelve times faster than normal as trepidation coursed through his veins.
Naruto angrily snatched the clipboard out of the man's hands before signing his name in sharp furious letters, and shoving it back into his chest.
"I-I'll be back with the p-package." He sputtered, before sprinting away like a marathon runner to hurry and get the demon's package, before he eviscerated him.
Naruto growled with fury at the thought of having to wait any longer for his package, and he nearly attacked the man when he came back for not bringing it with him in the first place. Naruto glared at the man and snatched the large box out of his hand, before slamming the door hard enough to crack the wood.
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Naruto hurriedly ripped the box apart in his mad quest to discover what Jiraiya had sent him. Is it a tool kit? A Woman's Brain? Bishop Magic Don Juan?
Naruto stopped and stared stupidly at what was in the case.
"A Girl?"
Author's Note: Just to let you know, the first two or three chapters are going to be short. But don't rip your hair out; the second chapter will be up within a week!
J