Your name is Feferi Peixes and you are very upset. You've been crying for a bit, and you can't find it in you to stop. The sobs that wrack your body have been building up for weeks, until you were unable to contain them. You had holed yourself off, making sure you were alone, before you finally let your tears fall.
You sat, with your knees to your chest, head resting on your arms, and thought of everything that had led you to this point. Everything could be traced back to one person: your matesprit, Sollux.
Sollux was a great matesprit. You could tell he cared about you, and you could easily say you loved him. Sometimes, however, he would look at you with a longing you couldn't identify, like he wanted someone, craved them, and couldn't find them.
When you laughed, the look only intensified.
Sometimes, you would say something, and he would look at you like it was wrong. Like you were wrong, you weren't doing what you were supposed to, and that look of longing resurfaced. It felt terrible that you didn't know what he wanted, or why you couldn't provide it.
It wasn't long before you figured it out.
Sollux had a matesprit before you, Aradia. He had only mentioned her in passing, but you had asked the other trolls about her.
Apparently, your laughs sounded almost identical.
Suddenly, you felt inferior. You weren't good enough. You were a cheap imitation of the one Sollux really wanted. That was when you had left to cry.
After your tears had dried, you went to visit Sollux. He could tell you were crying, but you had a look that clearly said you didn't want to talk about it. Being around him now felt wrong, because you knew you could never be what he wanted.
You were Feferi Peixes, and you would never be Aradia Megido.
And that hurt.