Um this is just a silly fic where Zoro is special in his own way… there is no yaoi but maybe a hint or two of shonen-ai… enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~The Lost Episode XXX 'Why Zoro Is No Longer Allowed To Smile'~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"!!!" Ussops screams could be heard all the way across the Going Merry, it was pretty common. However, what happened next was not so common, leading to a mystery our great captain could not or upon further speculation; lacked the capasity and reason to leave alone.

"Ney, ney Ussop what's wrong?" Captain Luffy asked the passed out Ussop, "OI!!! Chopper there's something wrong with Ussop!! NOooo! Our nakama is dying!!" Luffy ran around the boat searching for the little furry doctor, "AHH! There you are how dare you hide from your captain while your nakama is in danger!!" Luffy our rubber man's eyes shadowed as he stretched out his arm and grabbed hold of a hysterical reindeer and flung him towards the unconscious Ussop.

"AHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Why captain?!?" Chopper screamed as he collided with our unconscious nakama, wiping the snot and tears from his face Chopper tried to figure out why he was thrown into the squishy pillow. Chopper looked down at the pillow, to stare at what Luffy had freaked out on, it was Ussop and he was covered in red stuff, and still leaking red stuff, what was all this red stuff anyway?!?

Chopper lifted his nose and exhaled then took a deep breath to inhale the scent and decipher what the red stuff was. Huh… it smelled a lot like Ussop was-

"!!!! AH HE HAVE TO FIND A DOCTOR WE NEED A DOCTOR!! USSOP IS DYING AND AHHHHHHHH HE'S BLEEDING!!!! What do we do?????????!?!?!?" Chopper was leaking a waterfall of tears and snot again, eventually someone got tired of listening to his wails and decided to answer his question.

The lady of mystery herself, Miss Robin hopped down from her perch on the rails and calmly walked towards the little blue nosed sleigh puller. Robin observed the scene, Ussop was bleeding, and Chopper kept screaming about a doctor, that was not surprising but Ussop's injuries seemed serious enough.

"Reindeer-san, you are a doctor." Robin smirked amusedly as our favorite fur ball froze and immediately put his fist to his chest declaring his duty to save his nakama's life. This was also a common occurrence on the Going Merry but none the less amusing, at least for now, but when the fun lessened we could be certain one future pirate king Luffy will fix that up real quick.

It didn't take long with Robin's help to have Ussop all bandaged and drugged up enough to talk to them, too bad what he did say made no sense. Robin stopped smiling, "Shooter-san we need you to repeat that, in exact order what had happened. Can you do that?" Ussop stared for a second, before nodding his head slowly as to assure both himself and Robin that he could do it.

"Well, all I can really remember is going back into our room, and retrieved my beloved journal so I could properly record our recent adventures since it's been awhile. Of course the great captain Ussop needs no such materials to tell a good stor- true tale of his heroics!" Robin just sighed and continued to stare at Ussop; this made him pause for a second. But Chopper was so enamored in what he had to say Ussops spirits picked up once again and he continued to recall what had all happened to him.

"So now that I had gotten my journal and then had lunch, after than I bumped into Zoro, we both said hi and then I told him I had to go and continued on my merry way… I can't really remember much more after that though… I recall feeling like I was blind and hitting something and here I am. OH! I can also remember feeling like I was hit by a cannon, I'm not too sure why though I don't have any visual memory on that particular oddity…"

Chopper looked down feeling just a bit guilty, even though it was their outrageous captain that threw him at the sharp shooter. Speaking of the captain, where is he? Chopper turned around and passed out, sometime while he was contemplating said captain's whereabouts, he had been snuck up upon and it was scary! "My, my captain you have quite a way with entrances," acknowledged Robin while giving her captain some credit for being able to sneak up on the two of them.

Of course if you didn't know Robin you would not think this as such a feat since currently Luffy was going slap happy on little Chopper's face, urging him to awake. "Oi, Oi get up right now and tell me that Ussop's not dead!" This is when Chopper proceeded to wake up and pop a super pill into his mouth and grow into 'human Chopper'. Human Chopper happened to be just enough to bop silly Luffy in the head and reassure him that Ussop was fine.

"Mah, but what happened to him?" Luffy had asked a basic question… but sadly no one had an answer for that, what should Chopper tell him. Chopper began to fret in his overgrown over muscled state. Robin just stared and pondered what did happen to Shooter-san? Peeking over towards the boys Robin decided to act once again, in a way to better her crew life, it only took a few choice words: "Luffy, Cook-san has made some meat-"

The whole word hadn't even gotten out of her mouth before the meat happy captain was off screaming his love for meat allowed for all to hear. What should we do now? Robin smiled mysteriously and pulled out a small plaited hat, it looked a lot like Conan's (1). Chopper felt a chill run down his now reindeer spine as he looked at Robin. 'Oh I have a bad feeling about this… but first things first, and that is to solve this mystery!

"I whole heartedly agree with you Reindeer-san, and try not to think out loud, it could be very embarrassing." Chopper turned as red as a valentine plushie, it was rather cute. Robin smiled at Chopper, today they would be partners in this strange new turn of events. "Now let's recall exactly what Ussop had said," Robin and Chopper consulted for a couple minutes before Robin set the facts straight. "So Ussop got his journal, then went for lunch, ran into Swordsman-san and started having strange symptoms then passed out…hmmm. This is indeed quiet the mystery."

Chopper and Robin looked at the same time and caught the others eyes. Without a word they both stood up and started to where their esteemed cook and captain were bound to be. The door was pushed open at the same time as the reindeer and the woman made their presence known. What was seen before them could only be described as pure chaos. Sanji was passed out in a chair, his head lying on the table completely surrounded in a puddle of his own blood.

Strange noises could be heard from the pantry, Chopper immediately went to the injured cook and proceeded to treat any injuries he could find on his person, Robin took the other route and investigated the strange noise, and just as she had expected it was their captain eating all the food in sight, had this not been the rations needed to survive this next week she might have found it funny and quiet interesting to see, the captain acted much like a starving chipmunk.

"Ah captain-san if you keep eating like that you are likely to starve tomorrow as well as the rest of us." Luffy looked over at Robin for a second, his serious face on, "What happened to Sanji?" Robin stopped for a second, as did Luffy from eating; she yet again had no answer. Something was wrong, but Robin would undoubtedly figure it out.

"Don't worry about this Captain-san; I'll be sure to figure it out in no time what so ever, perhaps it was something they ate?" Luffy looked happy for the moment and went over to inspect Sanji with Chopper, it appears the cook had been making some kind of fried rice, he must have just started. Sanji with Luffy and Robin's help was carried much like Ussop to the infirmary, and treated; he only had a broken nose from where his head had hit the table repeatedly.

"What went wrong? You think it's something that they had eaten Chopper?" Robin asked the reindeer, "I don't think so, both of their blood results came back clean." Luffy just looked at the two and left to stand guard on the ships head. Robin smiled to herself remorsefully, at least Luffy trusted them to fix things knowing he wasn't really very good at this kind of stuff, all he can do know is keep the ship safe.

"Hey Chopper, do you think Navigator-san may be behind this?" Chopper thought over the question and a light seemed to go off inside his head. He could see the scenario playing out as if it really happened…

(What Chopper thinks had occurred)

Sanji lit up his cigarette and took a deep breath, he held it just long enough for the familiar feeling of to nicotine burn his throat as he looked over to Nami-swan, the beautiful navigator of the Going Merry. 'Today-'Sanji thought to himself, 'I am going to confess my love in all seriousness to Nami'.

Feeling light and free Sanji took one last puff and threw his butt over the rail. Feeling the light breeze Sanji walked over to the orange haired girl and got down on his knees Nami looked at him mildly annoyed but stayed put to go ahead and get whatever was going on over with. Sanji looked into Nami's eyes, for once they did not turn to hearts and had a flicker of some emotion even stronger in his blue soulful pools.

"My dearest Nami, I Sanji would like to confess unto you my unyielding love." Sanji kissed her hand, "Will you accept me to be your boyfriend and you my girlfriend?"

Nami just kind of looked at Sanji, the little snacks, the ridiculous nicknames. Those things she could deal with, but this was a bunch of crap. Sighing Nami pulled her hand free and looked down at the cooks shocked expression. Just saying he wasn't her type probably wasn't going to work out all that well anyways… so why not pull an Ussop?

Ah that's it! Nami smiled evilly as she looked towards Sanji with a fake sweet expression, "Oh Sanji I'm so sorry but someone else is already on my mind but thank you anyway." With that Nami happily went back to her room to route tomorrows coarse.

Sanji was speechless, the love of his life, stolen. Who could it be that held such a position in Nami's heart as to have all her love!?! Sanji racked his brain for all the candidates, after heading back to the kitchen to start lunch he stopped and thought for a second. He was halfway through everyone he could think up when he was finished cooking and everyone was around eating, he halfheartedly yelled at Luffy for being messy.

Who could it possibly be? Sanji had already crossed both the Marimo-head and Luffy off the list, Marimo was terrible with money, and ugly, while Luffy was all that and stupid to boot. Never in their wildest dreams could they have anyone anywhere near as beautiful as Nami consider them as love candidates. Washing the dishes and putting them away it suddenly came to Sanji.

It couldn't be Ace because long distance relationships don't work and he's the captain's brother so… the only person left would be Ussop! How ingenious! He was the most under scale subpar person that could have been picked! Although all that was true the beautiful Nami had picked him to rule her heart?!? I cannot accept this.

With hatred and vengeance in his heart Sanji saw nothing put Ussop and red as he looked for the said man. He found him, he had just parted with Zoro when Sanji kicked him in the head causing him to crash into something, normally Sanji didn't attack from the back but this was a matter of love! After beating him up a little more Sanji calmed down and left.

It would be best if his hot blooded love did not know it was him, so he returned to the kitchen and started dinner. About halfway through he just couldn't do it, consumed by grief Sanji sat down on his chair and put his head in his hands, then it happened. A simple mental image of the long nose and Nami-swan together in an intimate way…

Sanji bashed his head as hard as he could into the table as many times as he could as hard as he could before he passed out. This is how Chopper and Robin found him and Luffy just a tad before.

(End of Chopper's mental image)

"So what do you think Robin, does that sound right on or what!!!!!?" Chopper smiled proudly he had nailed it; soon everything would be just fine once they got Nami to verify. "Of to Nami we go!" With that said Chopper and Robin went off to find Navigator-san and put this matter to an end.

Opening the door to Nami's study Robin checked to make sure she was presentable before letting Chopper in behind her, they both turned and stared at Nami's back her head turned facing a half finished map of the Eastern Blue. Robin spoke up first, "Ah Navigator-san we were wondering if you'd answer some questions for us?" Robin looked at Nami closer and gasped lightly, Nami was in a trance, her eyes were dazed and completely out of it.

Robin ushered Chopper over and he waved a hoof in front of her face, no reaction what so ever. Chopper's eyes widened as he got Robin to quickly get her to the med bay at once. Once Nami was properly placed and drugged the two looked at each other and sighed. Well that was a bummer, three crew mates out cold and no suspects left.

Luffy came waltzing in expecting everything to be fine now, people would be smiling and everyone would be healthy, the culprit caught. He went deathly silent and still as he surveyed his crew before him, "What's happened? We're we attacked by some unseen enemy?"

Chopper and Robin did a face slap, and an anime fall, how the hell did they manage to forget that one? The most obvious thing ever and not even once had it crossed either of their minds, it was just too easy now that they think about it, some invisible enemy sneaking up on their nakama and using dirty tricks to make them pass out.

The three of them walked out and screened the ocean before them for enemy ships, there were none. Confused they looked once again and caught sight of Zoro, Oh Gesh how did they forget about him too? Chopper and Robin and Luffy all looked at the Swordsman expecting something strange or bizarre and terrifying to happen. After all, Ussop had mentioned seeing Zoro… perhaps he was going through some tough male pms?

"Swordsman-san?" Robin inquired in her usual tone; Zoro yawned and looked over smiling brightly and genuinely as he stretched his hands over his head. His golden body glistening, his eyes bright and mischievous as a young boys, his sharp facial features even more prominent in the limited lighting provided by the light screen of clouds blocking the sun's rays.

Even though Zoro has always been gorgeous he downright looked like a wet dream come to life smiling like the god of temptation, Robin could subtly feel her face heat up as blood started to lightly drip down and out her nose. Robin was so far faring much better than Chopper as his little furry body was out cold on the floor surrounded by a growing puddle of blood gushing profusely from his nostrils.

Zoro stopped smiling and looked over at the two, Robin had fled to her room for one reason or another and Chopper was out as a light. Zoro tipped his head to the side and blushed lightly, what was everyone's problem today?

First there was Ussop and when he tried to say hello and be nice he went into a trance, then there was Sanji who started to bash his head against the table as soon as he saw Zoro smile, and Nami, all he wanted to know was how long it would be till they were at the next island and she went into a coma like thing!

If everyone started acting like this Zoro wasn't sure what to think, he was having a good dream and woke up just as he slashed Mihawk across the chest giving him the final blow just like he had and won the title of 'Greatest Swordsman in the World'. Zoro frowned, today was being weird, maybe it was because of the weather?

Luffy just stared at the green haired man and started to think, and think he did. His thoughts were consumed with many ideas on what could have made all this happen. But in the end the only reasonable thing that could explain all this was…

Zoro smiled humorously, and then Luffy was knew for sure, "Zoro." The man looked over at his captain and waited for his reason on calling him, although knowing Luffy there probably wasn't one. But one thing bugged Zoro, why the hell was captain holding his nose?

"Zoro, you are not allowed to smile anymore. Captains orders-"

And with that he could not hold it in anymore; Luffy flew backwards like a rocket as streams of blood projectile through the air. This was because I smiled? Zoro stopped to brood for a second, this was unexpectedly stupid. What the hell because he felt happy and decided to smile he got to deal with crap like this?!?

What the hell is so great about my smile anyway that would make it so it had to be banned? Zoro stomped off stepping over his nakama's bodies to reach the restroom. He glared at the mirror and then smiled, his heart stopped beating for at least three seconds. The way the green locks danced in their own wind, his skin glowing today in particular, the muscular outline of his shoulders and sleek slender waist all standing out all the more as his face contorted into a more positive looking expression.

Zoro gulped audibly, well oh shit; this explains the yaoi fan-girls.

With that Zoro pledged to head his captain's orders and avoid smiling at all costs, he could grin like an idiot but all forms of genuine smiles and seductive smirks will never be seen again.

I was referring to Detective Conan, the little kid who is superdy duperdy smart.

Well that's the end guys, this was not beta-ed so if you wanna you can do that for me In other words if you have any ideas on how to improve this I'll happily read them cause I am not that proud… maybe I should write these before midnight they always go strange…

The Esteemed Babblebuzz…

Ja ne