First off, I apologize if you're only watching me for an update on Bug Bites. I needed a break from ShinoKiba for a bit, if you can believe it. If you can forgive me because you love Haru, I will love you forever. 3
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya, I only own a white mouse named Yuki, a rabbit named Momo and a couple of tasty Oreos named Haru. And no, I don't own the Oreo company either. Stupid pricks...
There is a warning here that you MUST READ. This is just a drabble-ish kind of thing, but it's completely angst-filled and all white Haru. This is how I think Akito gets everybody to obey him so perfectly all the time, but just an idea. Our school only carries the first five, and my best friend has let me read two of her three, so I'm starved for Fruits Basket... if I continue, it will get into some serious HaruYuki content; I am GOING to write for that pairing before that long-haired be-otch gets canon with Yuki in the manga, I SWEAR IT. HaruYuki just makes sense to me... you don't have to understand.
Anyway, it's done from the first person point of view as Hatsuharu, obviously, and this is also based on the kind of idea that Haru really isn't just as blank as everybody thinks he is; he's just so deep in thought sometimes that he seems stupid.
As you can tell, I love Haru more than anything. 3 If you want HaruYuki, review something about it, if you like it, review something about it, if you think I should eat dirt, review something about it. Flames will be used to light Shika's cigarettes.
--
There were some days when the sun shone bright in the clear, cerulean blue sky, when the rays of light beamed through the lush green foliage and cast the shining white circlets on my face, and I just wanted to screw what everyone thought about me and get lost on purpose. Take a stroll across a bridge, sprawl out across a park bench and watch jay birds flit across the sky, singing their innocent songs... Days when I would leave my jacket and bike behind, let my black clothing collect dust in a drawer. Hightail it down to the park and read a book. Yes, there were days when it seemed like nothing could possibly go wrong.
Of course, this wasn't one of those days, and my whole life had been wrong since I was born.
No, today was one of those days when I wanted to just hang myself rather than look outside at all, soft grey eyes glazing over in remorse. What a perfect suicide that bright, promising sun had committed today. It was a Saturday, so of course I had slept in late. I hadn't awoken until ten this morning, but when I did, it seemed like it was going to be marvelous. It was like the perfect beginning of a '70s sitcom – the sun was bright, the house was clean, the perfectly toasted toast popped up just as the kids (or kid, in my case) gathered around the table; decked out in clothing that was both simple and dressy, with their hair brushed meticulously and their eyes never blinking.
I was so cheery this morning, too. I completely forgot that I even had a father, and I helped Mom out with all of the chores, laughing at all of her jokes. I always felt bad that I could never just hug her and remind her how wonderful she was, I always had to do it from afar. Her long hair had been done up into two braids, and she had tied the end of each to the start of itself so they hung down to frame her face in loops. She looked so tired, old even, and that was when reality had started to crumble. It had started raining, Mom and I laughed together; remembering the times when we would go out into the rain and just run around and get dirty. My father had walked in, smelling slightly of alcohol and walking just so; I had shifted just a tad more in front of Mom, worried. I'd call him 'Dad', but all he is to me is one of the people who conceived me... to be blunt.
Mom and I knelt on the floor. He took a swig out of whatever he was drinking and I wrinkled my nose in disgust as he plopped down on the couch like he was king of the world. I had stopped going black at my father by then, though; so I only looked on stoically. He set down the bottle with a satisfied sigh, and I couldn't help but cringe slightly at the heavy scent of booze that permeated into the air. "Akito's in 'nother one o' those moods." I looked on calmly, although I was more frightened than anyone should know. "He want'd to say somethin' ta you..." I clenched my fists on my knees and moved to stand up, and stiffened up a bit when my Mom's hand held my shoulder. All I wanted was an embrace.
A simple embrace.
But it never came.
I straightened, bowing quickly to my father as a sign of the respect that I knew I didn't have for him; but it was... polite. I immediately walked out the door after slipping on my black combat boots. The dreaded meeting with Akito was coming, and I should have been completely shaking in my aforementioned boots, the rain should have been making me more depressed. The only thing worse than not being depressed by the rain is not noticing it. It was as though I had walked out the door and right into the depths of Hell without even noticing the core of the earth pass by me. But now I'm here, and I have to take the consequences. I move to knock on the door, but somebody ushers me in. Akito doesn't like noise.
"Come in, Hatsuharu. Remember, I will never punish you unless you go against me or do something wrong..." That voice gives me goose bumps.
I take off my boots and kneel on the floor, hands folded in my lap. Akito is laying in front of me in that unique way of his, looking like the Queen of Sheba without the bangles. He lays like that for a few seconds, not awkward; no, never awkward... dripping with fatality is a better way to phrase it. He stands before me now, not getting up slowly as somebody as weary-seeming as he should, nor someone with his... 'condition', and definitely not in this deadening weather. No, much quicker; and it takes me a moment to clarify in my mind that Akito is not much older than I. I can't help but feel a chill move down my spine as he quickly slides the side of his kimono back over his shoulder and folds his arms behind his back.
"Sohma Hatsuharu, why are you here?" Akito's voice cuts through the tension like a blade; and without the tension, my body goes numb. "I was informed that you requested my presence; I came without hesitation." Suddenly, my spine is stretched painfully and I register that I'm on the floor, head turned to the side. Akito had just slapped me; quick as a whip. I turn my head back and resume my place; a seething, yet eerily calm Akito above me. He doesn't even try to hide the fact that he just hit me, his arm and hand are still outstretched; but no emotion is displayed on his face at all.
"You stupid cow..." That voice of his, quiet but demanding attention, dripping with venom like an overfilled sponge... I feel like I'm dying slowly. That my god; OUR god should think so poorly on me... I hang my head slightly, averting my eyes from his piercing ones. "Why do you think I would ever summon you here? You heard wrong. You must have just gotten lost on the way to your closet, you simpleminded fool. What ever could have made you think that I should want a filthy cow in here, merely to lie about why he has come?" Akito's voice isn't dripping venom anymore. It's simply exuding it.
"So I'll ask you again, Sohma Hatsuharu. COW. Why is it that you seek me?" Akito demands moreso than asks, eyes narrowing. I do the only thing I can, the only thing any of us can ever do. What we of the zodiac must resort to is what the Christian faith does; we confess our sins to our Lord, even when we know we have done nothing wrong. The only difference is that Christians never have to look their god in the face and make up lies about things that they haven't done just to sate their demonic ruler's lusting thirst for control. My head moves just a notch lower; I no longer have to look at Akito, but at the wood panels of the floor.
"I have gone against you, Akito. I have thought of you in anger and recently used the aid of our school nurse rather than doctors of whom you approve." None of it is true. I have never trusted any doctor other than Hatori with my body, and all of the nurses at my school are female. Although I have a strange feeling of dislike for Akito, I could never think poorly of him. None of us can. He is the reason... the reason we keep on living. I can feel him grab me by the chin roughly and pull me up. It disturbs me to no end that he has a compassionate expression on his face, both contemplative and seemingly pious, but the underlying smirk is making my vision haze out.
"I have a feeling that you are not telling me the whole truth, my pet." He strokes my jaw with the knuckles of his free hand, causing all of my joints to lock up. But it's worth it. At least I am no longer a 'stupid cow'. I swallow and try to speak, but nothing makes it past the lump in my throat. Akito turns his hand and trails a finger down my face, a sharp cold nail reminding me all of the time that I couldn't let my guard down for a second. Piercing eyes are half-lidded, and I can practically feel him lick his lips. "Be a good boy and take off your shirts, little Haru..." How does he know that I'm wearing more than one? That voice though... I can't help but obey. My mind floats farther and farther away from an area that I can control it, and I just want to scream.
I place the shirts on top of my folded jacket and go back to my position; this isn't going to be good. My muscles relax against my will. I hear something slicing through the air, and I see that Akito has retrieved a letter opener from his desk, engraved with a hawk carrying a mouse. I barely have time to ponder the symbolism in this as the handle leaves my vision and is replaced by the cold, steel sharpness. My throat is dry.
No. Please. Anything but that. Akito... I'm begging you, no!
"Do you know what I'm going to do with this knife, little calf?" Akito's voice flows like blood-red satin, luxurious enough to lose yourself on, but warning one of danger all the same. I can't help but feel drowsy; my body succumbs to God's will. "No..." Akito straightens slightly, smirk playing in his eyes and mouth. He knows that he has finally broken me for this little chat. "Of course you don't, you stupid cow. I'll explain it to you slowly, step-by-step so you understand." He knees me in the stomach and I fall back to the floor, not bothering to keep it from happening or to retaliate from his blows. I know damn well what he's going to do with that, let's face it, bloody instrument of torture.
Akito traces the blunt side of the knife up my torso, I hadn't even registered the fact that he has bent over me now. "Well, I can't do this when children are too young, it may put them into shock, so I had to wait until you were old enough, calf..." His usage of the term really makes me uncomfortable, not to mention the fact that he just flipped the knife to the other side, the point pressing at my throat. Hard. "I'm going to take this knife and do what all ranchers do when they want to make sure their cattle aren't wandering too far off. Do you understand?" I can't say yes, I'm supposed to be the brain dead cow... I understand nothing. I shake my head, eyes never leaving my god's.
The knife trails down slowly, and I can feel a bead of blood collecting on my throat. It runs off to the side when Akito breathes out softly, obviously amused at my placidness. "You see, Hatsuharu, I didn't have any spare metal and I don't want any obvious evidence because others seem to think you're a normal person." Akito practically spits these words out, and then purrs the next. "But you see, Haru, you belong to me, so you aren't just a normal person. You're special." I feel my heart swell before I remember that it's just an act.
You're not special. You're just a low-life, a piece of scum. Akito doesn't need you.
You're not special.
"And being my special, beautiful steer as you are, I must make sure that you never get lost or follow the path that defies me, because I may be forced to put you down, my sweet pet..."
I'm afraid.
He loves me so much, but at the same time he doesn't care.
I'm not special, I'm not. It's all an act.
I'm... afraid.
I just stare up at him, looking in no way frightened or angry. Not even sad. "I'm going to brand you now, so nobody can ever steal you away from me, Sohma Hatsuharu." He grips my arm for support. "Remember that, cow." The grip tightens, and it begins to hurt now. "Nobody." Akito poises, ready to make his move; holding the knife like it was a simple pen.
The kanji come on so slowly; Akito takes his dear sweet time carving his likeness into my chest. I open my mouth to scream, but nothing comes out. My body betrays me again. It is all God's doing. I whimper slightly as he leans back to admire the first character, but the blood has been welling up so fast I don't even think he can see the actual carvings anymore. Akito frowns and leans forward, careful not to soil his robes with my life's fluid, and I remember yet again how dirty I am to him.
A low-life, a piece of scum... Akito doesn't need you...
"Be a dear and wipe it off, Hatsuharu?" My arm is in fitful spasms from the pain, I'm trying my hardest to wipe it off. Akito's eyes scan his work quickly, and he smiles; the first real smile I've seen from him in a bit. "I can't believe I forgot this line, silly me..." The knife makes another swift, clean cut across an already deep cut and he begins the next part of his branding. His marking. Possessing.
Doesn't need you...
You're just a possession... a toy.
I let out a tiny hiss as he finishes his name and makes a few adjustments, making sure to remember a tiny bird at the bottom. My vision is beginning to blur, I can see the room spinning before me. Akito grabs me by the chin again, smiling softly with that horrible, cloaked sneer still present. Then he simply frowns and pushes me away. "You are not presentable, Sohma Hatsuharu. You would do well never to come before me reeking of your own blood ever again, do you understand?" I nodded feebly, but he grabbed me by the roots of my hair and hissed at me, back at his boiling point. "No, don't lie to me, you stupid cow. How could you understand anything? You're completely worthless, a disgrace."
Akito stands and gives me a chop to the neck that I am almost sure should have killed me, had I not been the ox. As my vision escapes me and the blood pools around, I can hear Akito, not three feet away from me, on the phone. I only caught a couple of phrases from him before I passed out, but I'm too tired to chain them together to make something sensible out of them. I can't hate Akito. It's not his fault I was born the stupid ox. I just hope that when my mother comes to visit me in heaven, I'll be allowed to hug her. If I'm even allowed into heaven... Akito says I've been horrible...
"Yes... Hatori...? This is... Akito... come quickly, I think... must have... scraped his chest... slid down the grates... to visit me... Haru... blood everywhere... goodbye..."
A gasp, I feel myself being lifted. My name being called in more than one voice, echoing around me. Sadistic laughter. I shudder and fall completely limp.
You don't mean anything to him.
Nothing at all...
You're worthless, nothing special.
...
You're right.
You're right, black Haru...
I'm nothing special...
I'm...
I'm afraid...
--
/End Chapter
--
A/N:
Yar, I apologize for the abrupt ending... I thought it fit. Oh, BTW, I'm speaking in authoress tone now, not Hatsuharu... I just wanna marry that guy. Anyway, I'm open to suggestions, and should the next chapter be in Yuki's POV? I think it should... anyway, if you've come this far, please, PLEASE review. I'll get white Haru to give you a huuuuuug
Just so you know, I'm thirteen, this took an hour and a half, six pages on Word, all done in one sitting. This is my first time saving it. 3 R&R PL0X!!