Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight and these characters.
January 2011
All my bags had been packed for a couple days in prep for my trip. This would be my first time out of the U.S. I had attended an out of state college for the last three years and was used to only seeing my family during holidays, but this was a whole different scenario. I would be in a different country than my parents and friends. It was frightening, but more than anything I was excited for the upcoming experience and the new adventures that I would have in England.
"Esme, over here. England here we come!" Alice could barely contain her enthusiasm for the upcoming trip. I could just make out the words.
"I can't believe that we finally get to go, and until May. I can't wait to see everything London – all the history of the buildings and the town."
oOoOoOo
I had been in London for less than a month, and was using any free time I had to sight-see. I wanted to just pause time so I could not only see the sights but also submerge myself within the city and the people. I had only experienced a small portion of the culture, but I had fallen in love with the little of London that I had seen.
I could never get tired of looking at the buildings, learning the history, and talking to the locals. My absolute favorite place to visit was the Westminster Abbey. Just reminiscing about the Abbey brought goose bumps to my arms and made me crave to see more of it. The thought of the millions of people that had passed through the doors and the history that the walls were witness to constantly amazed me.
As a student majoring in architecture, the Abbey with its Gothic style and fine details was something that wasn't found often in the States. I had already visited the Abbey once before but hadn't even seen half of it yet.
Even with today's visit there was no way that I could finish exploring and learning about it by the end of the semester. I would have loved to stay here longer than a semester, but my life and family weren't here.
Alice had decided to come with me this time. As an art history major Alice understood my fascination with the Abbey. We already had several long talks about the different sections of it including our favorite parts.
Alice was telling me about how her boyfriend, Jasper, was doing back at home. She really missed him and wished he could have been on this trip with us, but she was also enjoying herself in England. I could understand some of the feelings she was experiencing because I was missing my parents but it was very different then missing a significant other.
I hadn't seriously dated anybody since my freshmen year of college. I wasn't looking for a new boyfriend, instead focusing on school and having fun with my girlfriends. Sure there were times when I longed for a boyfriend to cuddle up to when it was raining and cold outside or when I just wanted somebody to wrap me up in their arms and spoil me with little gifts. But I loved my life and was very happy with the people that surrounded me and where I was in my life.
Alice and I were so busy talking and focusing on the scenery surrounding the Abbey I wasn't watching where I was going and bumped into somebody.
Picking up my purse that had fallen during the incident my apology had already started. "Oh I'm sorry. I really wasn't watching where I was going at all."
"It's partially my fault. I was messing with my phone instead of looking where I was going." The man's voice had an apologetically undertone.
He had bent down to help Alice and I pick up the spilled contents from my purse. When I got my first glimpse of him the first thing I noticed about him was his hair. His blond hair was kept shaggy and curled up near the collar of his shirt. The glasses he wore didn't hinder the beauty of his eyes but only enhanced their color. His blue eyes were pale, pure and vivid with no hint of any other color. I couldn't help but stare at them for a few seconds longer than was necessary. Looking away from his eyes in favor of the rest of him I noticed his smile complimented his eyes. His English accent only made him more attractive. He was in his early to mid-twenties, probably a college student, with small bags from lack of sleep under his eyes.
Alice cleared her throat, bringing my attention back to the present and away from my appreciation of the man's appearance.
"Terribly sorry, Miss."
"No trouble. I'm Esme, and this is Alice. You are?"
"Carlisle Cullen. Pleasure to meet both of you. I would love to make it up to you in some way," he said sincerely.
"It really is fine. There's nothing to worry about. You don't have anything to make up for. It's just something that happens. Well, we have to get going." Even though I found the man attractive I couldn't drown out the voice of five-year-old me repeating "stranger danger" over and over.
"Oh ok well if you're sure. I hope both of you enjoy your visit." Sadness had seeped into his voice, but I couldn't figure out why he would be so affected by me turning down his offer.
In a gesture more likely found a century ago he lifted the back of my hand to his lips and left a quick kiss. "Good-bye Esme... Alice."
As I watched him walk away I wanted to know more about him, but before my thoughts could run away from me Alice interrupted again. "Esme, are we going to see the Abbey or do you want some alone time with your thoughts of Carlisle?"
"I have no clue what you could be talking about Alice. There were absolutely no thoughts of Carlisle. Let's get to the Abbey. We're wasting valuable time." The hint of red on my face no doubt gave away the fact that I was lying but Alice let the matter drop.
We spent the rest of the day looking at all the different features of the Abbey but any hint of blond hair or the color blue would inevitably have my thoughts consumed with Carlisle.
At the end of the day I couldn't help but kick myself for turning him down. He seemed like a good man, but I told myself that a less than five minute conversation wasn't enough to know a person.
oOoOoOo
A couple days after the incident with Carlisle there were still times my mind would drift to him. The one meeting we had still haunted me, and I was starting to think there was something wrong with me. There was no logical explanation for the way I was almost obsessing over a man I saw for about five minutes. It wasn't the first time I had seen a man as attractive as him but never before had I been this affected. Carlisle was more than just a pretty face. During our short meeting he was kind, attentive, and a gentleman.
After class on Thursday, Alice had to comment on my peculiar behavior. "Is something bothering you? For the past day or two you've been a hermit and you are never like this."
"No, no I'm fine. Just worried about the upcoming test. Nothing to worry about. Once the test is-"
"Please, Esme, give me a little more credit. We have known each other for almost four years. I know all your little habits and mannerisms. This is not how you act when you are freaked out about a test."
I couldn't continue trying to lie to Alice so I finally told her everything. How ever since the episode with Carlisle I couldn't stop thinking of him, how I found myself dreaming about him, what he was like and who he really was. I was behaving irrationally but no matter how hard I tried to focus on other things he would always slip his way into my thoughts.
Alice was unsure how to respond but she did her best to comfort me.
"I don't have an answer as to why you are drawn to Carlisle or to tell you how to stop thinking about him. I don't think you are crazy, sometimes certain people affect us no matter the amount of time we spend with them. Sweetie, how about we go spend a night out on the town and there will be no talk of boys at all, not even Jasper talk. I think it will give you a little break from all this and maybe you will find some peace."
I agreed with Alice's plan of going out. I was really hoping that tonight would break me out of my melancholy mood and give me a break from my thoughts of Carlisle.
oOoOoOo
Alice and I had been at the pub for a little over an hour. The conversation had stayed on school, friends and the fun we had been having in London so far. The night with Alice had been exactly what I needed so I could settle my thoughts. I realized that the people I had in my life were perfect and that dreams of Carlisle and I ever being anything were impossible. I would be here for another couple of months before I returned home and the chance of seeing him again was slim in a city this big.
"Watch my purse, please. I'm going to run to the restroom."
While Alice was in the bathroom I did a little people watching. On my last sweep of the bar I noticed a couple people entering. Instantly I recognized the blond hair and blue eyes of one of the men. Carlisle had somehow wound up in the same place as me.
I watched his movements as he made his way across the floor to a table a little ways from me. I was unsure how to continue or if I should just pretend as I never saw him or go talk to him. On one hand for the past several days I couldn't stop thinking about him, but then where would it lead to if I talked to him? I wasn't the type of person who could just have one night stands so that type of relationship with Carlisle was definitely not an option.
"Esme, I was only gone for five minutes so what could possibly have you this focused," Alice inquired as she made herself comfortable in the chair.
"Umm… Carlisle just entered the pub and I'm not sure what I should do if anything. Don't make it so obvious when you look please," I confessed to Alice still thinking about this one in a million chance.
"Psh, you should know me better than that. I am the picture definition of discreet. It looks like the decision has been made for you. He spotted us and is making his way over here," Alice excitedly whispered to me.
Immediately looking I noticed that Carlisle was only a couple feet away and quickly approaching Alice and me. I was unsure about this. Earlier in the evening I had come to terms with never seeing Carlisle again, yet here he was and along with him were all the confusing thoughts and feelings. I'm not a big believer in fate but this had put my world on an axis.
"Esme and Alice, it's great to see you again. How have you been?" Carlisle inquired.
I couldn't help but notice the way his accent made my name sound. He had a unique way of saying the two syllables that made my heart beat a little faster, and made me want to find different reasons that he could just repeat my name.
"We're doing great. We decided to experience the nightlife that London has to offer. Tonight has been a fun relaxing time."
"Come join my friends for the evening. We can talk some more and hopefully I'll be able to learn more about both of you." He might have been talking to both of us but he was staring right at me
Carlisle introduced us to his friends Edward, Bella, and Alistair. The three of them welcomed Alice and me. They had numerous questions about how we liked London so far, what we were majoring in, and the difference in cultures.
As the night progressed we broke into smaller groups with Carlisle and I only talking to each other.
"I have wanted to be a general practitioner for most of my life. When Rose, my older sister, and I were children a couple of boys were picking on her and ended up pulling her down from the monkey bars. My mum rushed us to the hospital to get her an x-ray and confirm that her wrist was broken as a result of the fall. My attention was captured by all the instruments and machines that day. I had so many questions about what each thing did. I also saw how much the doctor was able to help my sister when she was in pain and I wanted to do that when others were hurting," Carlisle admitted.
"That is such an amazing story. Now all these years later you are in the process of making that dream a reality. Your family must be so proud of all the hard work you have done."
I learned that his sister was his only sibling and that both of his parents were supportive of their children's dreams. Growing up they had been a close knit family, remaining that way even today. Carlisle told me that Edward was a childhood friend, he met Alistair in college, and Bella when Edward first started dating her a few years ago.
"I hope there have been no more accidents for you."
"No, there have been no more accidents. You have been the lone person that I have managed to run into thanks to my lack of attention," I said.
"Out of all the people that you have passed daily and I was the person lucky enough to have bumped into you. I feel very lucky to be that person without our little meeting I would never have met you and to me that is just unacceptable," he boldly stated.
I was unsure of how to respond to him, but I knew that I was glad that it was him also. There was nothing in Carlisle's face or eyes that made me question that statement. He truly believed that he was lucky and that I was special enough to have made an impression in the short time we had met.
"Carlisle... I feel rather lucky myself. Talking with you tonight, being able to learn about you has shown me that you are a good man. You love and protect all the people you feel close to – a trait that is sometimes overlooked. I only wish that we could continue to talk and get to know one another," I quietly confessed.
"I would love for that to happen. I'm not sure why that can't happen. You're still here for a couple more months, plenty of time for us to continue our new friendship," he said excitedly.
oOoOoOo
Carlisle and I made plans to meet up so he could show me more of London, especially some of the favorite local hangouts. The excitement and butterflies that were swirling around in my stomach were more from seeing Carlisle again than seeing the places. He had captured all of my thoughts with one glance and was not looking to escape from there anytime soon.
The phone rang, interrupting my thoughts. Carlisle's name and picture were lighting up my screen.
Calm thoughts. Calm thoughts.
"Hey, Carlisle."
"Morning. I'm outside if you're ready."
"I'm all set. I'll be down in a minute."
Carlisle was leaning against his car door. He hadn't noticed me yet so I had a few minutes to observe him. He had a smile on his face and was relaxed as he people watched. He must have felt me staring at him as he turned his head towards me.
He lifted up his hand to wave and his smile became even bigger.
He opened the car door when I was a few feet away. He held out his hand for me to help me into my seat. In that brief moment with my hand in his I felt safe, protected from anything. His fingers were long, elegant, and strong. They were perfect for his chosen career.
As he drove through the city he would point out certain places that had either a historical meaning or a sentimental meaning to him. I learned that he had grown up in the city. He couldn't imagine ever moving away from all his family, friends and memories.
"Over there is the primary school I attended," he said.
"Did you have to wear a uniform?"
"Yes, we had a uniform. I even had to wear a tie and blazer on occasion."
"I would love to see a picture of you all dressed up. I can just imagine how adorable you would be in your little uniform."
He laughed before saying, "I'm not sure I want you seeing any of those pictures. I had some awkward stages growing up."
"Oh hush, you. I'm sure that you are exaggerating. Now I really want to see them since you are being so secretive about them."
Carlisle was easy to talk to. There were no awkward pauses between us. I was mentally rolling my eyes at myself for being so silly about seeing him. I had managed to forget that he was such an easygoing guy who could talk to almost anybody.
The car ride continued, with both of us learning about each other's childhoods. He finally pulled the car to a stop. I remembered seeing King's College London in passing and reading about it in the tour guide book. It was the fourth oldest in England, with a detailed history and numerous people who had later become famous in their field had attended the school. I was still unsure why Carlisle would bring me here.
He must have noticed my confusion. "Welcome to my school. I know how much you appreciate architecture so I figured I could give you a tour of this old place."
"You go to school here?" I inquired. "This is one of the best universities not only in London but the world." I had no doubt that Carlisle was smart, but would have never guessed how much because he didn't flaunt or brag about it.
Carlisle started to blush with my questions before he muttered, "That's what they say about it at least. Yeah… I go here. Is that a problem?"
"No! Not a problem. I'm just being stupid. Really this is amazing and I'm glad I have my own personal tour guide."
Carlisle thankfully chose to start telling me about the school. "There are five campuses that make up King's College. Right now we are at the Guy's Campus. It is home to the Schools of Medicine, Biomedical Sciences, and the Dentist Institute, and me."
His voice was full of enthusiasm and pride with each word. His clear blue eyes were animated as he continued to reveal more about the buildings and the schools.
"Over there is the Hodgkin Building, it was the original medical school building of Guy's Hospital. Today we still use it for lectures, labs and research. I spend much of my time in there. Want to venture inside?" Carlisle asked.
"That would be great. Whatever you want to show me is great. I'm your student for the day."
"Shall I have you call me Mr. Cullen then?" he teased. "Has a nice ring to it."
"Okay, Mr. Cullen, lead the way."
With one last cheeky grin he grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the entrance. I was able to enjoy this second time of our hands touching. I had been impatiently waiting for another moment to touch him. I could feel the strength in his hand, but he was nothing but gentle while holding mine.
Since it was a Saturday there weren't many students milling around so we were able to take our time exploring. The whole time our fingers were still tangled together. I had no reason or want to let go and it seemed neither did he.
oOoOoOo
It had been almost a month since my own personal tour with Carlisle, and each day we would talk. Whether it was for hours on end or just a few minutes he never failed to put a smile on my face. He had become a great friend and confidant in the short amount of time we had known each other.
Alice would give me a small knowing smile every time she saw me on the phone with him or when I would go meet him.
"So, Esme, how is your Carlisle doing? Do I need to give him the best friend speech? If he hurts you, I hurt him?" Alice wondered after I had hung up with Carlisle.
"Carlisle is good. He has a test coming up this week so he is busy studying. And no, Alice, we are just friends so there is no need for that. I don't want you scaring him off with your crazy talk."
"Really just friends? From what I've seen and know you wouldn't be mind being more than friends," Alice continued to prod.
"Of course I wouldn't mind but I don't want just a fling with Carlisle," I confessed. "Truthfully I don't want to become more attached than I already am just to leave in May and never see him again. That would hurt too much."
oOoOoOo
Carlisle and I met up for dinner that night. The last ten minutes he was restless, bouncing his leg and touching the back of his neck. His behavior was confusing and worried me. Whatever was bothering him was somehow connected to both of us.
"I have a question. Just know that you don't have to feel compelled to do it. There is absolutely no obligation or pressure," Carlisle nervously stated.
I had never seen him this nervous around me. He was always comfortable in speaking to me and my worry increased with his nerves.
"Carlisle, really, please just ask. I'm sure you're getting worked up over nothing," I reassured him.
"Okay, okay. Rose, my sister, and her husband would like to know if we would have dinner with them this weekend. Like I said if you can't go or don't want to there is no commitment."
I was unsure how to answer. I didn't want to say no and hurt Carlisle or his sister's feeling but selfishly I liked where we were in our relationship. I didn't want to risk screwing it up, but I would do this. I wasn't a coward hiding away nor was I being rational.
"Don't be absurd. I would love to meet Rose. I have heard so much about her now I finally get a chance to meet her in person. What day were you thinking about?"
"If you're sure. Rose suggested Friday evening at their place. I'll pick you up," he said. "Don't you even suggest bringing anything either, Esme Platt. I know exactly how your mind works."
"You wish you could see into my mind and read my thoughts." I couldn't help but tease him.
Carlisle's voice dropped as he whispered, "Yes I do wish that. I want to know all there is about you. All your fears, secrets, achievements, memories, and anything else that you think about."
I couldn't help but smile at his frank answer but I had to continue telling myself that we would remain friends. Carlisle, though, had continued to tear apart my mental arguments that we remain in the friend zone as if it was mere tissue paper.
"I know, Carlisle. Me too. If things were different and I wasn't going back home in a few months than we could explore these feelings that I know we both have," I quietly said as I looked down at the table.
He grabbed my hand in his. "That shouldn't stop us. I just want a chance. Trust me, I know how much longer you are here. It is always in the back of my head," he heatedly stated, "I'm not asking for more time…just one chance please."
By the end of his speech he was nearly begging me. I couldn't take him being so broken over this when I had the power to make him happy.
"Yes, Carlisle. I can't and won't deny us the chance any longer."
He visibly relaxed with a delighted smile. "I am so glad, Esme. You have no idea how happy you have made me."
Stopping at my door Carlisle gathered me in his arms laying his head on top of my hair. His scent was enveloping me, making me never want to leave the security of his arms. Slowly letting go he left a small kiss on my cheek.
"I'll call you tomorrow," he whispered.
oOoOoOo
I was going to see Carlisle for the first time since we had decided to become more than friends, and I was also going to meet his sister tonight.
"Esme you look gorgeous as always. I distinctively remember telling you that there was no need to bring anything."
"I know but I chose not to listen to you this time. You can never go wrong with a bottle of wine," I told him.
"You'll be happy to know that both Rose and Emmett are wine lovers so you're already on their good side. Not that you wouldn't be on their good side. How could they not like you?" Carlisle stumbled over his words.
"Nice save. We should go before we end up being late."
Each step I made up the stairs to the apartment I could feel my nerves settling in. I was trying to remain calm with the help of relaxing thoughts but it wasn't happening. So much had happened this past week and now I was meeting Carlisle's sister whom he adored and admired. It was too soon.
The door opened to a beautiful blond smiling woman. The family resemblance between her and Carlisle was obvious. They shared the same nose, almond shaped eyes, and small ears. The shared familiarity and welcoming smile put me at ease instantly.
"Hi, I'm Rose. You must be Esme. I've heard so much about you from my brother."
"It's great to put a face to all the stories I have heard about you."
She turned to Carlisle. "They better have been all good stories or I might have to tell Esme some of your more embarrassing moments."
"Of course, dear sister, I told her good stories. Though your definition and my definition of good might be different in this case."
I had been so busy watching the siblings teasing each other that I had failed to notice that there was another person in the room. He was tall and well muscled, but the dimples peeking out at me instantly erased his hard exterior.
"They could be at this for a while. I'm Emmett."
"Hi, I'm Esme. Must be a sibling thing. This is for you and Rose" I said and presented him with the wine.
He laughed, agreeing with me. We had been talking quietly between ourselves before a blushing Carlisle came up to my side. "Sorry about that. Sometimes Rose and I just go back to being children."
"I could tell. I'm a little jealous that I don't have my own sibling to tease like that."
It was easy to see the love between Emmett and Rose. Whenever they passed each other they would give one another a small kiss or a passing touch. Their love was something. That one great love that people were reading about in books, hoping to find for themselves one day. They had an intimacy and closeness that was more common in couples who had been together for years.
Throughout dinner Rose made good on her earlier threat of telling me stories about Carlisle. She had just finished telling me about his first date where he was so nervous that he ended up with his shirt inside out and a mismatched pair of shoes. Carlisle took the stories in stride, laughing at his own foolishness back then.
I couldn't remember why I was dreading meeting Rose and Emmett. They had been nothing but pleasant and welcoming. Carlisle and Rose had the same easygoing demeanor, with Emmett being an optimist, willing to put a good spin on everything.
On the ride home Carlisle held my hand rubbing his thumb across the back of it occasionally. With each pass of his thumb he would send shivers up my spine.
"I'm glad that you were able to meet Rose and Em. Rose enjoyed your company and was already asking when we could come over for another dinner."
"They were great. I hope you told them yes," I said.
"Of course. I told them it depended on our school schedules."
We lapsed into a comforting silence. I was savoring this little moment of comfort. There were no worries or end of the semester looming over our heads. Just the two of us holding hands.
Carlisle helped me out of the car, closing the door behind me. He pulled me close, helping to keep me warm in the cold night. He turned toward me, bringing my chin up to look at him. His lips softly brushed against mine at first, a brief touch of his lips before withdrawing a little.
"Carlisle," I whispered before pulling his lips back down for another kiss. His lips were soft and yielding as I moved closer to him. I was surrounded by his scent. My hands found their way to his hair as I felt his large, warm hands on my waist, tugging me closer.
Eventually he pulled away from our embrace to lay his forehead against mine. "You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that," he breathlessly said.
"Probably as long as I have wanted to do the same. This has been an absolutely perfect night."
"I know," he said.
I pulled him close for one last kiss before telling him goodnight.
oOoOoOo
Carlisle had made me feel like a little girl with my first crush. Each new quirk and habit I discovered only made me want to find more. I was a more optimistic person, seeing the good in everything and everyone. Carlisle had this positive effect on people, especially me.
My cell's ringtone drew me away from my thoughts.
"Hey, mom."
"Hey, sweetie. Just wanted to see how you were doing?"
"I'm amazing! With each new day I fall a little more in love with the city. I'm going to hate leaving here… for a couple of reasons," I mumbled the last couple of words. "Dad and you good?"
"Everybody is fine over here. Nothing of interest. Is there something you would like to tell me? You sound utterly depressed when talking about coming home. It sounds like more than just missing the country." My mom had always been able to read me. It seemed that even a whole ocean away didn't stop this.
I sighed, resigning myself to tell her about Carlisle. "There is a person that has become such a big part of my life these last months. I don't want to leave him after how close we have become. He, Carlisle that is, is umm… more than a friend, mom. We have been dating for about two months. You would love him. He is so kind, caring and compassionate. He treats me so well, always doing little things like opening doors, cuddling with me or sending me flowers just because. I think I love him, mom. Not good when I will be leaving so soon."
"Sweetie, you need to stop worrying about the future. You still have two months over there. Focus on the present. Things will work out how they are supposed to. You and Carlisle have time to figure out how you want to handle this when you do leave. Focusing on the worry of leaving is not going to do you any good, and will just bring both of you down. Long distance relationships are possible, especially with all the new technology. He sounds perfect for you and I'm glad to know he is treating my girl with the respect she deserves. Each time we've talked you have sounded so happy and now I know that Carlisle is, in part, to thank for this."
Mom was right. I had gone in circles about it, each time just making myself depressed instead of enjoying the city or time with Carlisle. I didn't want to be in a full-time funk of worry. I was determined to listen to her.
Slowly the conversation drifted to me telling her about the sightseeing I had done, a promise to email her pictures, and about my classes. I hadn't realized how much I had missed her and my dad until hearing her voice. We had become closer in the recent years now that I was out of the terrible teenage years. I was able to appreciate her advice and listen to it.
oOoOoOo
Carlisle planned to cook for me at his apartment tonight. I had been there a couple times already. It was filled with pictures of his family and friends. He was not afraid to show his love for others. Rather he was proud to have all these people in his life. He had a small library with a variety of books from school books, history, art, science, literature and more. Carlisle loved learning. He would fill his spare time with reading anything. There was no subject that he didn't try. He would be a great professor if he ever wanted a break from medicine.
"Let me help you. Please, I feel so useless just watching." I had been pestering Carlisle since he started preparing, but he had been strong in his position. oOoOoOo
I was going to have to play a little dirty. Sneaking up on him as he focused on cutting the potatoes I wrapped my arms around him. He slowed down as I left small kisses on his neck, leading to his left ear. "Please," I whispered.
He remained silent but stopped cutting completely. My hands rubbed his chest slowly, leading down to his waist. Reaching his waist, I dipped my hands under his shirt, running my fingers across his warm skin. He sucked in a shaky breath, "Mercy. You can help."
I had won but I knew that Carlisle was going to get me back for my teasing later. I couldn't wait to experience his retaliation.
I kissed Carlisle's cheek. "Okay, chef, what needs to be done?"
"You finish cutting the potatoes. I'll finish up the meat and the rest of the vegetables."
"Easy enough." Each of us focused on our tasks making the kitchen relatively silent.
Carlisle smiled whenever our eyes would connect. He would stop his task and give me a kiss or rub my back before continuing cooking.
Snuggled with Carlisle on the couch, we enjoyed our dessert and wine, sharing stolen kisses in between pauses of the conversation.
"I love this. I love that you know me so well that we can sit quietly with no need to talk. That we can tease each other. I don't have to guard myself whenever I'm around you. I love you, Esme."
"I love all that too, Carlisle, but most importantly I love you. You make me feel so loved and special each day." Pulling Carlisle's head down I kissed him. We continued to kiss as Carlisle slowly laid me down. Breaking away from his lips I started to leave kisses across his neck as we both slowly caught our breath.
I wanted to kiss each part of his skin. He lifted my shirt under my breasts, running his hands across my stomach and sides, sending tingles across my body.
I needed to feel more of his skin against my own. I pulled his shirt off, dropping it to the floor. "My shirt off now." He instantly listened. My hands mapped his body as our lips found each other again.
Carlisle left open mouth kisses from my left shoulder to right. After each kiss he would quietly say, "I love you so much."
oOoOoOo
"Mom, Dad, I want you to meet Esme. She is very special to me."
"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you," I said, shaking both of their hands.
"Call me Kate and my husband, Garrett. Dinner should be ready. Let me take it out. Carlisle, take her to the table, please."
"Okay, mum. It smells good as always," he said, giving her a peck on the cheek before leading me to the dining table.
"Now, Esme, tell me what is your field of study?" Kate asked me.
"I'm majoring in architecture. In two years I will have my Bachelor of Architecture degree. Then I plan to get my masters."
"How many more years of school is that in total?" Garret questioned.
"It will be five and a half more years. I'm not looking forward to all that but it will be worth it in the end."
Carlisle grabbed my hand our fingers threading together. "She will be a great architect. You should hear her when she starts talking about the different styles. Her whole face lights up when she talks about it. It is easy to see that it is her calling."
My cheeks turned redder with each word of praise that Carlisle said. "Thank you. It is my dream job."
That night I told Alice about meeting the parents.
"They are such sweet people and are very proud of both of their children. After meeting them I am homesick for my parents."
"You should call your mom tomorrow. You will see them soon, sweetie. I know I miss mine so much, and Jasper too."
"Oh, Alice, I am a horrible friend. Here I am over here spending all my time with Carlisle and I have forgotten all about you. Especially how difficult it must be for you and Jasper."
"No, sweetie, I understand. I know that when you first start dating someone you want to spend all your time with them trying to learn everything about him. I was the same with Jasper and you know it. I haven't been wallowing in self pity over here while you are out. I have become closer friends with others on this trip and they have kept me company," Alice reassured me.
"I know, but still it isn't right. Plus I miss you and our girl time together. I promise to hang out with you more."
"I would like that too. But back to the parents. Did they show you any baby pictures of Carlisle? Or tell you that he wasn't a fan of wearing clothes when he was a toddler?"
Alice and I laughed at her last question. "No, Alice nothing of the sort. It was a good dinner with all of us getting to know each other better."
oOoOoOo
After the movie Carlisle and I walked the streets, content to cuddle and kiss after every few buildings. Stopping at the entrance of a pub we heard a band playing. Carlisle cocked his head towards the door. Nodding, we entered.
Carlisle held me in front of him as we both listened to the band. The crowd had calmed down for a slow song about two lovers. He pulled my head back towards him, bringing his lips towards mine. The music and the crowd slowly disappeared as I focused on his lips and tongue. I turned my body to face him wanting him closer as we continued to kiss. Carlisle slowly pulled away. Looking into my eyes he asked, "Can I take you home?"
Carlisle wasn't asking if he could drop me back at home but rather if I would go back to his apartment. "Please."
The walk back was filled with tension. I couldn't stop myself from running my hand across his arm, his back, or the back of his jeans.
When the door was closed to his apartment I dragged him to his room. Gripping his jacket in my hands I pulled him down to further explore his mouth as I toed off my shoes and socks.
Carlisle pushed my jacket off my arms to slowly start peeling off my blouse. He threw his own jacket and shirt off of himself before leading me to the bed. I soon became restless with our position. Pushing him over I straddled his waist.
"Somebody is having a very good night," I teased as I moved my hips on top of his.
"How could I not be when I have a beautiful woman with me?" He answered tracing a path from my waist to my chest. He pulled himself into a sitting position, following the bottom of my bra with his hands, stopping when he felt the clasp. Bending down to kiss and nibble my ear as his skillful fingers undid the fastenings of my bra.
His eyes were filled with love, admiration, and desire for me. He made me feel beautiful, that I had the power to make him feel all of these emotions. I was invincible. Nothing and no one could ruin this moment.
He shivered as my lips found the base of his neck. His hands unbuttoned my jeans, lifting me up so I could step out of them. I trembled in anticipation as I sat back in his lap in just my undergarments.
"I love you," Carlisle whispered centimeters away from my lips. He brushed his hips against me in obvious desire.
My hands made fast work of his remaining clothes. "Carlisle, undress me please. Love me."
He left a final kiss on my shoulder before we drifted off to sleep. We fell asleep in a lover's knot, waking up throughout the night to start everything all over.
oOoOoOo
Carlisle had called me earlier asking if I could meet him at his apartment tonight.
It had finally arrived. I would be leaving for home in two days. I was not ready to leave the life I had grown used to here in London, or the friends I had made, but most importantly I would leave Carlisle. In our short time together we had shifted from friends to lovers. It was crazy how fast he had managed to come into my life and affect me so much that part of me just wanted to screw school to stay in London so I could still have him in my life. I had tried to put off telling him good-bye but I was meeting him tonight for the last time. We would no longer be in the same city, let alone same continent. I was unsure how we would continue any type of relationship together. It was time to have a serious talk with him about where we wanted to go from here.
Alice gave me a quick hug before Carlisle picked me up. "Honey, whatever is decided I'm here for you. I love you let me know if you need to talk when you get back."
Carlisle opened the door pulling me to the couch. I was going to miss these small moments of us cuddling up on his couch or being able to talk to him every day so easily.
Pulling my head toward him, Carlisle started talking. "This isn't over! We will figure this out. I love you too much to let this end just because of distance."
"I love you too, but this is more than just a couple hours away. We are talking about different continents, a whole ocean between us."
"Don't you think I realize that, Esme? I refuse to let this end without us trying a long distance relationship. Many people have them and it all works out."
"Let's say we do this long distance relationship. For how long will it continue to be one? When will it become a normal one? One of us would have to move eventually." I hated to be this negative but Carlisle needed to realize the facts.
"I'll move if it means keeping you in my life. These two months of summer I can use to get everything packed and ready for the fall semester."
"I won't let you. You love it here with all your family close by. Your whole life is here including school. I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason that you left all that behind."
"Yes, I do love all that but don't you realize that I love you more. I'm not saying it won't be hard to be so far away from home but I can always come visit," Carlisle pleaded
"No," I said. "Let's talk more about a long distance relationship, please. We can try that. We can video chat, email, and call each other. Hell, we can even use Facebook."
"Really you want to? Love you," he said and kissed me. "It won't be forever. I promise in a year or two we will have more figured out. We could even have some fun video chatting."
I laughed. Even in a tense situation like this he was able to bring a smile to my face. Now that we had come to a decision there was no more tension between us.
I texted Alice, telling her I was going to stay at Carlisle's. For one more night I would be in his arms, surrounded by his smell and warmth.
oOoOoOo
I was home in New York with more than three thousand miles and four hours between Carlisle and I. I couldn't even call him as it was the middle of the night over there.
"You can do this, Esme. You are a strong person who loves that man very much. You have never been a pessimist before so don't start," Alice told me throughout the flight. The mantra was now repeating in my thoughts.
At my apartment I sent Carlisle a quick email to let him know that I made it home safely and that I loved him.
Leaving all my unpacking for tomorrow I changed into my pajamas. My bed felt cold without having Carlisle's body heat to warm me up or his even breathing putting me to sleep. Thankfully the jet lag was setting in, forcing my exhausted body to shut down.
It has been seven months since the last time I was able to hold Carlisle's hand, hug or kiss him. I loved him more than I could ever have imagined. Each day I missed him more, putting me into a funk.
I could hear the concern each time I talked to my parents and Alice. Alice had begun to hover, inviting me to girls' night, dinner, study at her apartment. Anything and everything to try to ease the pain, even if it was for only a few hours.
Carlisle and I exchanged emails throughout the day about school, life, books we had read or recent movies. I had made sure to keep most of my afternoons and early evening clear so we could Skype. I treasured these little moments of seeing him, being able to hear his voice and laugh. These times were the highlight of my day. It was the only time I felt fully normal.
"When does your Christmas break start again? I forgot what you told me," Carlisle asked me.
"My last final is Saturday, December 10th. And I know yours is December 13th."
"Correct. I have to finish up the last details on your Christmas gift soon."
"Do I get a hint?"
"No, I want it to be a complete surprise."
"Please, Carlisle, just a small hint? I don't want to know everything just a little small, tiny clue," I pleaded, sticking my lip out in a pout.
"Fine, a small hint. It is very big and needs a large box. That's all your getting out of me. Not another word will cross these lips about it."
"I hope you aren't spending a lot on me. Carlisle, I don't need anything elaborate or expensive."
"Nuh uh. No more talking about it," he said also mimicking zipping up his lips.
oOoOoOo
After shutting my apartment door I walked towards the living room. There on my sofa was Carlisle. I froze, thinking that this couldn't possibly be true. He walked towards me, pulling me in his arms. I was overwhelmed with emotions at being able to touch him after so many months.
"Surprise," he said. "Shh, Esme. No reason to cry. God, have I missed you."
"You're really here. I love you."
I kissed him. Not caring about how or why just content to have his arms around me.
The next morning I woke up to Carlisle cuddled behind me with his face in my hair and his arm wrapped around my body. We didn't have a chance to talk last night, being preoccupied with physically reconnecting.
I slowly turned so that I could face him. I watched him sleep for a second before I couldn't stop myself from kissing his forehead and lips.
"Good morning," he mumbled
"Morning. I didn't mean to wake you."
"It was the perfect way to wake up. I missed it."
We laid in bed the whole morning, talking and holding each other. He told me how he had asked Alice for her help. She was the one that let him in with the key I had given her. All those times she would smirk at me when we talked about Carlisle recently made sense now. He had been planning this trip since October, making sure all the dates worked out and getting Alice's help. He had to go back the 27th which gave us about two weeks together. Carlisle would also be able to meet my parents when they came up for Christmas.
"I need to thank Alice and get her a huge present for Christmas," I said.
"We both do. I owe her for all the help especially picking me up and letting me into here.
oOoOoOo
June 2013
My apartment was empty. I had just graduated in May and graduate school began in September. I was sad about leaving New York but I was excited to take this next step. So much had happened these past couple of years with people coming into my life, leaving a lasting impression on my heart.
I locked the apartment one last time, giving the keys to management.
Alice dropped me off the airport giving me a huge hug, "Have a safe flight. Let me know when you get there. I'm going to miss our girls' nights."
"I will. Thank you for always being there to talk and supporting me. We'll keep in touch, you've become my sister."
Sitting on this flight I was reminded of another trip that changed my life. I hoped that this would be as wonderful as that one.
The voice of the flight attendant woke me from my nap. "On behalf of your crew, we thank you for flying with us today. We hope you have a great day in the London area."
Impatiently I waited for the all clear to get off the plane. My leg restlessly bounced until they opened the door and people started getting off.
There was Carlisle holding up a sign reading Future Mrs. Cullen. I threw my arms around him and kissed him.
Patiently we waited for my luggage with his hand holding my left. Every couple minutes he rubbed my ring finger and engagement ring. I was ready to start my life here in London with Carlisle as my forever.
Thank you to the awesome MelissaMargaret for editing and her general hand holding.
Thanks so much for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it! I would love to hear what you think.