Why am I so stupid? hold on, before you answer that, I'll ask it myself. Self, why are you so stupid? Because you're too proud to admit your feelings. And you don't want to be embarrassed. And...and...well you just are. Wow, that's a great excuse; you just are.
I mean, At first, when he asked me to kiss him, why didn't I do it? Was I trying to play hard-to-get? No... maybe... NO. Because that's not what I did. I just... didn't want to?
Anyway, Then there was the stab. My thought process: WHY DIDN'T YOU KISS HIM BEFORE YOU DIED? WHY?
But then I didn't die. But I kinda wish I did, because then when he came to visit me, or check on me or something like that, I told him he looked cute when he was worried. I mean, really? That's 1. AWKWARD, 2. WEIRD, and 3. STUPID.
I mean, he always looks cute. Oh my god, I just said that out loud. Kinda. Whatever. But again, I COULD HAVE KISSED HIM. For the second time. Geez.
THEN, when they drugged me up so I could go to sleep, he said I was a genius (awww!). I mean, yeah, he though I was asleep and would never say it to my face, and yeah, I'm smart, but after today, I'm officially calling myself a complete idiot.
I'll show you how smart I am. I can count to 3. 1, 2, 3 times today that I could have kissed him. I. Am. An. IDIOT!
(Next Day)
Okay, I felt better today - until SHE came. SHE can't be here. But SHE is, so he can't care that SHE's here. Because he's my Seaweed Brain. And I kinda have dibs- and not the ice cream kind. Kinda. But… I was still upset. Even though I know that it's not his fault, it's HERs.
Why did I help HER with that helicopter? I could have let HER die! But then he would have been sad… I hate it when he's sad. More than I hate it when he's worried. Which he is now. Because I'm being stupid and girly and caring about my feelings and stuff. I really should stop talking…
(Later)
Well. That was surprising.
I mean, how could he be so stupid?
Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start from the beginning – the time when we first arrived on Mount Olympus. We ran to the Palace of the Gods and guess who decided to show up? Surprise, surprise – Luke. Ugh. I mean, yeah, sure, I kinda had a crush on him, but really, that was when I was 10. And 11. And… you get the point. Up until he decided that he was gonna kill MY Seaweed Brain. Well, maybe a little after that, too. But that's beside the point. He was there. And he tried. To kill. Seaweed Brain. My. Seaweed. Brain. So I was like, Um, sorry, bud, not while I'm still here! And then he tried. To kill. Me. Yeah, my plan backfired slightly. But – more surprises! – He didn't! I told him that he 'promised', and it was like the old Luke came back. And he said he was sorry… and I don't want to go into any details, but he died. And he died a hero. Then the gods came, and they rewarded us for defeating Cronos and all that, but… this is the most shocking part. They asked Percy to be a god! My heart and my chin had literally dropped to the floor. If Percy became a god, I would probably die. He looked back at me (At me! At ME! When I was looking like I was a complete idiot who didn't want her best friend to become a GOD) for a fraction of a second…And he said no! He said no! Why? That's completely INSANE. And YES, I realize that I'm emphasizing EVERYTHING. I was so confused... and I still am...
(Later...)
I don't even have an intro for what happened next, so I'll just go straight into it. We were sitting together - Seaweed Brain and I (duh) - and I was asking him why... I can't remember exactly what he said, but I know he said one thing - it was because of me.
(Girlish scream)
I kept my cool on the outside, which probably annoyed the kelp out of him (hehe), but on the inside I was acting like an obsessive teenage girl who got backstage passes to a Justin Bieber concert or something. Yeah, I was probably overreacting.
But then he started saying that he might have feelings for me (EEEEEEEEEE!) - so I started laughing, and he said that I was making this hard for him, so I explained to him (he should have already known) that I would always make things hard for him. That's when I did the most idiotic thing of all, out of all of the things I did in the last span of days. I kissed him. And you know what? He kissed me back. Maybe I'm not such an idiot after all. (: