Disclaimer: Xena Warrior Princess
and that world of hers, including Gabrielle and all of the others, do not belong to me. They're RENPIC's. I guess, though I don't
really know and that's what the end credits say. As far as the story is
concerned: Xena is the foundation, but the house is mine. I won't make any
dollars, dinars, drachmas, lira, (or insert your monetary unit) on this. I
didn't write this for money. I hope you enjoy it.
I love feedback. Let me know:kwp75@aol.com
Sex: Nope
Spoiler: Motherhood
Violence: Implied
Special
Thanks: To my friends and new family at the Bardic Circle. Kamouraskan, Jules,
Extra, Taleweaver, Xena's Little Bitch and all the rest. You guys are the best.
Duel of the Hearts
By Kwipinky
The
chakram whirled and sparks flew as it bounced off a rock formation. It turned
and headed for a small figure. Short blonde hair switched the face of the
determined young woman as she ran for her life. The chakram followed her like a
guided missile. Her chest heaved as her heart raced, and her legs pumped
harder, but her stamina waned and her legs started to feel rubbery. She
realized she was not going to outrun the deadly weapon.
The
whistle of the circle rang louder and louder as it neared her desperate form.
Luck was with her as she tripped over a stump and fell hard. She struggled to
her feet, but she could run no further and sank to her knees. A sound alerted
her, she looked over her shoulder and saw it strike another rock. Then it was
upon her. She turned her face away and screamed until it struck the back of her
head.
"Nooo!"
Gabrielle shrieked.
"Gabrielle!
What is it?" Xena yelled at Gabrielle and shook her. "Wake up!"
Gabrielle
opened her bloodshot eyes and backed away from Xena. "No Xena! Please don't
hurt me!"
Shocked,
Xena stepped back. "What?"
Gabrielle
shook her head and looked around, she recognized the campsite and saw Eve
sleeping. "Xena?" she whispered.
Xena
didn't move closer, but she spoke softly. "Gabrielle, did I hurt you in your
nightmare?"
"Yes.
No. I don't know. It was your Chakram, and I couldn't escape it, Xena.
No matter how hard I tried. The faster I ran, the closer it came, and when I
fell. I thought I had escaped it. Suddenly it was coming at me again, and I
couldn't get away. It hunted me, Xena!" Gabrielle sobbed.
"My
chakram," Xena replied suddenly understanding Gabrielle's nightmares.
"Your chakram!" Gabrielle cried out and rose
to her feet.
Eve
bolted upright and jumped to her feet. "What?"
"It's
okay Eve," Xena said without looking at her daughter. "Gabrielle?"
"Xena,
please help me," Gabrielle paced three steps and then two. "I can't get away
from it!"
Xena
carefully went to Gabrielle and hugged her gingerly, but firmly. "It's okay,
I'm here. Oh Gabrielle, I'm so sorry." Gabrielle's body shook in Xena's arms, and Xena felt completely
responsible for her pain.
"Xena,
it's been ten days since I slept peacefully."
"Ten
days? You can't go on like that Gabrielle."
"I
know."
"We
can get to the root of the problem."
"I
thought when you apologized it was over."
"Gabrielle, have you told me everything?"
Xena
could read her mind. "I, ah, no. Xena, I was thinking about home, and I'd like
to see how Lila and Sarah are doing." Gabrielle answered. She thought she
needed to figure out why she kept having the chakram nightmare over and over.
"I think I need to go… home…. and forget about the dreams…. maybe I can forget
about the chakram."
"That's
a good idea. Gabrielle, we can leave now," Xena suggested.
"Xena,
can you sit down for a minute?"
"What
is it?" Xena asked.
Gabrielle
sat on a dead log, she dusted off a place for Xena, but the Warrior Princess
just stood in front of her.
"Xena.
I would like to go… alone." Gabrielle ran her hands through her hair and placed
her elbows on her knees. She leaned on them and placed her head in her hands.
She lifted her pink tinged green eyes and looked into Xena's blue eyes. "Oh
Xena, this is hard. Do you remember when I had the problem with my
self-confidence?"
Xena
nodded, her heart started to speed up. She remembered that time well because
she was afraid she had lost Gabrielle.
"It's
kind of like that, and I just need to talk to family. I mean you're my family,
but it's different. I need my sister," Gabrielle stammered.
"Okay,"
Xena answered, she felt deeply hurt. She had caused the terrible memory of the
chakram attack. She hoped Gabrielle had dealt with the awful event; but the
memory was strong, and it wasn't just going to go away. Xena felt like
Gabrielle's family. But a voice in her head cried out she wasn't really. Gabrielle's blood family was Lila and Sarah.
She was her best friend. Several thoughts raced through Xena's mind and
although she didn't understand completely, she said, "don't worry about it,
Gabrielle."
"You
could spend some time with Eve." Gabrielle searched for the best way out of the
awkward moment. "You need time for each other."
"Yeah,
that would be good. Gabrielle, you should go on… home, and don't feel badly about it. I understand." Xena smiled,
her heart breaking. She loved Gabrielle that much; she would let her go.
"Thanks,
Xena. I appreciate it very much," she said as she got to her feet. Slowly
Gabrielle walked to her horse.
"Gabrielle?"
Xena whispered.
"Yes."
"You're
coming back?"
"I
want to, but we'll have to see how things turn out." Gabrielle offered a brave
smile. She didn't know what the future held, but she hoped she would, if
she could. "I'll get my things."
"Okay,"
Xena watched the bard gather her supplies and mount her horse. As she rode
across the field, Xena wanted to run after her and demand to help. The warlord
would do that. Being a warlord had its good points, but instead of chasing
Gabrielle, Xena waved. Gabrielle didn't see it, because she never looked back.
"Mother?"
Eve said.
"Yes."
Xena answered absently.
"Where's
Gabrielle going?"
"Home."
Xena said.
"I
thought she was home." Eve said.
Xena
mentally pushed the knot in her throat away and turned to face Eve. "So did I."
*******
The ride
to Poteidaia had taken less time than Gabrielle thought it would. She rode hard
at first. She felt a sense of urgency, something told her to hurry. As she rode
into town something seemed wrong immediately. Two or three people stood on the
street and watched her suspiciously. She forced the horse to speed up.
The
house was in better shape than she remembered and she dismounted with a plop.
She went through the gate and her boots made little swirls in the dust as she
ran to her childhood home. She knocked on the door and leaned over to look
through a window when the door opened.
"Gabrielle!"
Lila yelled.
"Sister!"
"Sarah!
Gabrielle's here!" Lila called to her daughter. She looked around the bard and
searched the horizon.
"I'm
alone," Gabrielle said quietly.
"Oh,"
Lila said.
Sarah
hugged Gabrielle and the trio went inside.
"Are you
hungry?" Lila asked. "We've just finished our meal but we have plenty
left-overs."
"Starving!"
Gabrielle laughed. She tried to be cheerful, but her heart was heavy with guilt
and uncertainty.
Later
they sat in the small living room and watched as the fire danced. A warm yellow
and red light flickered across the faces of the family. Gabrielle was soaking
in the warmth and Lila watched her sister.
"Is
everything okay Gabrielle?" Lila asked.
Gabrielle
smiled; her sister knew her well, even after all the years had passed. "I don't
know. I've been having nightmares."
"Really?
What are they about?" Lila asked.
Gabrielle
had never told Lila about Xena hitting her with the Chakram. She wasn't sure
how to explain it without making it seem like Xena wanted to kill her. "I keep
trying to escape from something…."
"Do
you know what it is that is chasing you?"
"Yes,
I know what it is," Gabrielle answered, surprised at herself.
"Then
why haven't you fixed it?" Lila asked. It seemed simple enough.
"I
thought I had fixed it," Gabrielle answered. She remembered Xena apologizing in
the amazon village:
"Gabrielle,
when I hit you with my chakram… "
"Xena, it wasn't your fault… it was the Furies. They droveme to try to kill your daughter. I've forgiven you. You should,too." "I nearly lost you."
"But
you didn't—" or did she.
Gabrielle's eyes filled with tears.
Lila
saw the pain and grabbed Gabrielle and held her tightly. "Sister, I don't know
what it is that hurt you so, but you're safe now. Okay?"
Gabrielle
shook as she cried harder than she had in her whole life.
"Gabrielle?"
Lila stroked her sister's head gently. "Are you okay?"
Gabrielle
pulled herself together, but it was not easy. She smiled sadly at her sister
and answered meekly. "I don't know
Lila. I just don't know."
Lila had
offered some warm milk, but Gabrielle didn't have the heart to drink it. She
felt as if she had lost her desire for anything. She felt as if she could cry
at any moment, as if she had nothing to look forward too. She realized she was
depressed and what frightened her about that was, she didn't know if she even wanted
to feel better. Better meant back to the life she had left and she didn't
want to go back. But why?
Later
that night Gabrielle walked in the front yard. She wrapped a scarf around her
shoulders and paced. She looked up into the sky and struggled with her fears.
She was afraid to sleep, afraid to voice her greatest pain, afraid she would
lose Xena and afraid of the real reason why Xena struck her with the chakram.
Xena had explained she didn't have time to stop Gabrielle from killing Eve.
Still, Gabrielle wasn't' sure.
Their
relationship had changed drastically. Xena's pregnancy and the Gods ruthless
pursuit of Eve, and Xena's role as champion of the bringer of twilight had hurt
them. Xena had been Gabrielle's champion until Eve. After Eve's birth, Xena had
become detached, protecting her child and keeping her safe had taken a toll.
Xena had even gently rebuffed Gabrielle's loving hugs and at times Xena seemed
colder to their relationship.
There
was a time when Xena engulfed Gabrielle's body and soul in a loving inferno.
But lately, Xena's passion was less than stirring dying embers. Gabrielle
attributed it to Xena's pregnancy and care of Eve after her birth. She tried to
understand and be patient.
Things
seemed to be better after they'd awakened after 25 years in Ares ice tomb. She
had felt closer, but wondered if it were just wishful thinking. Gabrielle had
supported Xena completely and when they fought off Athena's army of inept
deities, their relationship seemed stronger than ever. But then the furies
charged into Gabrielle's mind.
She was
so tired of running from the Gods. Physically drained, exhausted of tears,
Gabrielle had a difficult time thinking just one single thought, period.
Her mind raced from one thing to another and wouldn't let her rest. She
desperately wanted peace. Her body needed relief, her head pounded; darkness
strangled her heart and gripped her soul. She loved Xena, and desperately
wanted to save Xena from a horrible death.
She
remembered thinking killing Eve would be the only way to save Xena. Gabrielle
knew how bad that feeling was. The horror of murdering one's child devastated
and shattered the soul. Hope, her child, killed by her mother's hand, after she
killed Xena's son Solon. Xena said Gabrielle didn't really kill Hope because
she'd come back. Then, when Hope turned the Hind's blood dagger toward Xena,
Gabrielle attempted to kill her child again and sacrificed herself to save
Xena. Even then Xena asserted Gabrielle didn't kill Hope, because she'd
returned more evil than ever.
Then
Gabrielle's heart took another blow and it was not just the grief of murdering
one's child, she'd committed murder by deception. She tricked Hope's child into
killing his mother. She remembered Hope's agonized stare at her after she'd
been dealt the blow from her son. The pain Hope must've felt when she realized
that her son killed her, gnawed at Gabrielle's psyche. She still felt the
searing red-hot guilt, branding her heart.
Feeling
that pain, and having the love she had for the Warrior Princess, Gabrielle
resolved to do what she could to prevent Xena from facing the horror and grief
of infanticide. She asked Xena several times if Xena could kill her own
daughter? Xena answered, 'if she had to, yes.' Gabrielle rationalized Eve's
death was due punishment of her past evil. A death she deserved, but Xena was
too blind to see that. Gabrielle sensed Xena's torment just at the thought of
killing her child. Gabrielle had done the deed three times before and decided
if it had to be done, she would do it herself.
Perhaps
deep down, she wanted to kill Eve anyway, even without the urging's of the
furies! Eve had come between them! Taking all of Xena's time! Gabrielle waited
like a starving puppy for Xena's affection… Gods! Gabrielle thought, she
was jealous of Eve. Gabrielle had those feelings tug at her for days until
she stabbed Eve. When Joxer and Hope visited her and validated her thoughts,
she rationalized Eve's death was the punishment of her past evil. A death Eve
deserved. As she plunged her sai into Eve's body she felt free from the demons,
but then Gabrielle felt the chakram strike her head.
"Xena!"
Gabrielle cried out.
Gabrielle
took off running from her home, she ran until her knees swelled from being stuck
by the other, she ran until her lungs screamed for relief, she ran until she
could no longer cry, she ran until she found herself overlooking a large bluff
she'd been warned about as a child. She stopped, dropped to her knees and cried
out. "WHY! Why!" her fists pounded the ground. "Why?"
A
shimmer caught her off guard. Gabrielle stood on wobbly legs and tried to
compose her self, but gave up.
Aphrodite
smiled at the bard and cupped her chin with her silky fingers. "What is it
little one?"
"Aphrodite?"
Gabrielle blinked.
"Yes."
"Are you
real?"
"As real
as my beautiful body could get, sweet cheeks."
"What
are you doing here?" Gabrielle stepped closer to the edge.
"What
are you doing here?"
"I don't
know. I don't know much of anything anymore."
"Little
one," Aphrodite moved closer. "Your heart is in so much pain."
"Yeah,"
Gabrielle smiled. "You'd know."
"Where's
Xena?" Aphrodite asked.
"She's
around." Gabrielle answered. "With Eve probably."
"You
want to sit down and talk awhile?"
"I'm not
much on talking right now. I can't even talk to myself," Gabrielle leaned over
and peered into the darkness below.
"You're
awfully close to the edge," Aphrodite reached out to Gabrielle. "Take my hand,
okay?"
"Nah,
I'm okay."
"Please,
I feel nervous with you so close to falling."
"Well,
uhm, I'm sorry for scaring you. You see I've got to figure out what's wrong
with my head. The view here is refreshing."
Aphrodite
didn't mention that it was too dark to see any type of view.
"You've
been here before?"
"Yea,
lots of times. With my dad, and Lila. You know, my family." Gabrielle
regretted what she blurted out immediately. "Oh, Aphrodite, your family. I'm
sorry. I… I've gone mad."
As if in
slow motion, Gabrielle turned away and stepped over the edge. Shocked,
Aphrodite waved her hand. Seconds later she and Gabrielle were in Mt. Olympus.
"Gabrielle,
you have to do better than that! I won't stand by and watch you kill yourself!"
Aphrodite ranted.
"I
didn't mean to! I mean, I wasn't trying to kill myself, I… I was just going somewhere
else. I'm sorry, I can't think straight, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do
anything right!"
Aphrodite
hugged the bard and Gabrielle clutched at the Goddess of Love.
"Oh
little one! Let me help you."
"How?"
"You've
got something bothering you very deeply, and until you deal with that, you
won't get better." Aphrodite brushed Gabrielle's hair away from her face.
"I
think… I don't know! If I did I could figure all this out."
"Gabrielle,
what's scaring you?"
"I don't
know," Gabrielle said loudly.
"Gabrielle
what is it? You have to know."
"I told
you!"
"No, you
said you don't know."
"I don't
know!"
"You
must know!"
"I
don't…"Gabrielle grabbed her head. "I don't…."
"What!"
"I don't
want to lose Xena!" Gabrielle sunk to her knees and cried pitifully. "I don't…
want to lose her, and I think I already have."
"Oh
little one," Aphrodite hugged Gabrielle and smoothed her hair. "Why do you
think that you've lost her."?
"She's
got Eve now," Gabrielle's voice cracked. "I thought I could come to terms with
our relationship. Xena keeps saying Eve is our daughter. But I cannot bring
myself to be a mother to her. I had a daughter, Hope. And as evil as she was, I
loved her. I look at Eve and think Xena is so lucky. Why did it work this way,
why are the Fates so cruel? I've tried to accept Eve, but lately just little
things she does annoy me so much. My feelings when I stabbed Eve haunt me too.
There was more to what I did, why I tried to kill Eve."
"I'm
sorry, but I don't follow."
"Why did
I try to kill Eve? It was my own doing! Because of my uncertainty, I keep
rationalizing, it was it the furies. They made me want Eve dead!" Gabrielle
shook her head. "But it wasn't just the Furies. It was me! I hated her! I hated
how she was more important to Xena! I hated her for taking my love! My heart! I
gave up my daughter for Xena! Would she do the same for me?"
"I don't
know," Aphrodite answered.
"When
she saw stab Eve, Xena used her chakram. My life or her daughter's, she chose
her daughter. Even after she had promised she'd never hurt me again." Gabrielle
said in a whisper. "Xena had to have sensed my feelings of hatred and jealousy,
and it easier for her to lose me."
"Oh,
Gabrielle," Aphrodite lifted the bard's lowered head. "If you could have seen
how scared Xena was for you. She was so afraid. Xena needed you, and she loves
you. Your feelings about Eve taking Xena away from you are normal human
emotions. A child changes people."
"I know,
I know. I wanted to be with Xena. When I look at her and Eve interact with each
other, and I have to wonder where I belong. Eve fills something that I cannot.
They don't mean to leave me out; they just have so much in common. I feel like
a third wheel. I hate feeling like this. I've tried to figure out a way to get
through this, and the only way I can let go is in Mnymosene's temple. I'll let
all my memories go." Gabrielle seemed calmer.
"But you
can't Gabrielle. Your love for Xena is so powerful you won't be able to forget
it. Love is a recipe of all emotions and it requires both angst and guilt.
Feelings make love powerful and painful." Aphrodite's heart wept with her
friend. "Don't you think you could talk it over with Xena?"
"I don't
want her to pity me. I can't take her away from her daughter," Gabrielle cried.
"I couldn't tell Xena… I was afraid she would… hate me for feeling the way I
did when I stabbed Eve."
The
truth is you must settle it with Xena,
Aphrodite thought, and she waved her hand and Gabrielle disappeared and
reappeared in the Goddess of Love's valentine shaped bed. For the first time in
days, Gabrielle slept.
*******
Xena sat
on a creekbank. Although deep in thought she still felt Aphrodite's presence.
"Show yourself."
"Xena!"
Aprodite said excitedly. "Wow! Ares always said you could sense him, and you
can sense me too!"
"It's a
gift," Xena said. She eyed Aphrodite cautiously. The Goddess of Love had been a
friend, but Xena wasn't going to take any chances. "What can I do for you?"
"Do you
mind if I sit with you?"
"No,
there's room," Xena smiled uneasily.
"Xena,
Gabrielle is in trouble…"
Xena was
instantly in Aphrodite's face. "Where is she!"
"At
Olympus."
"What's
wrong!"
"Xena,
please sit down. I want to help and I can't with you being all powerful and
threatening." Aphrodite smiled sweetly at the Warrior Princess.
"Aphrodite!"
"Xena,
Gabrielle is being eaten up inside. She's not doing so well, and I'm afraid
she'll do something drastic." Aphrodite didn't really believe Gabrielle would
commit suicide, but she needed to reach Xena quickly.
"Aphrodite,
I don't understand this. Gabrielle was a little down when she left, she'd felt
that way before and returned home. I thought she needed to see her sister…"
"Her
sister isn't what she needs, she needs something you might not have to offer,"
Aphrodite felt the truth had to be addressed.
"What
does she need?"
"I think
you know, Xena."
Xena sat
beside the Goddess and rubbed her temples. Her hands shook and her stomach
began to churn. "I think I do. I'm losing her aren't I?"
"Yes."
"I lost
her a while back. I injured my best friend's heart when I hit her with my
chakram. She never recovered," Xena said as a tear rolled down her face.
"You do
know," Aphrodite was surprised.
"I tried
to apologize and Gabrielle stopped me. I didn't take the time I should have. I
guess I've been so busy with Eve that I've ignored Gabrielle. I…" Xena
grimaced.
"Xena,
when you struck Gabrielle, you didn't have another way to stop her, right?"
"I don't
think… I don't know, No. No. I would never harm Gabrielle. That's not true
either. I've thought about it and deep down, I could have hit the sais. But it
was like I didn't have the time to think, like my hand was being controlled by
another." Xena stopped and searched Aphrodite's eyes.
"You
think the furies might have guided the chakram?"
"No, I
did it. I hit her with my chakram. I saw her attack and it reminded me of Hope
killing Solan. I just reacted. I couldn't tell Gabrielle… I was afraid she
would do what she's done. I've lost my best friend," Xena sniffed. "I don't
want to lose her."
"Then
fight for her!" Aphrodite yelled.
"How?"
Aphrodite
waved her hand a scroll appeared. She left a message for Eve and took Xena to
Mt. Olympus.
*******
Gabrielle
rose and wiped her eyes. She felt more rested than she had in months. She
looked around the room and remembered Aphrodite bringing her to Mt. Olympus.
She got out of bed and walked over to a large window, as she peered out Xena
entered the room.
Xena
didn't make a sound and watched Gabrielle for a while. When the bard turned and
saw Xena she took in a sharp breath. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten
you."
"When
did you? How did you? Oh, Aphrodite," Gabrielle answered her own questions.
"Yeah,
she says we need to talk," Xena said with a slight edge to her voice.
"Uh,
yes, we do. I've decided to make a life style change Xena."
"Okay,"
Xena answered. She sat on the bed and touched her fingertips together. "What
would that be?"
"I don't
want to come between you and your daughter. I have been living in a lie and I
cannot do it any longer. I don't want to hurt you Xena. I don't want to hurt
Eve either. I love you both and I think I should let you go."
"Really,
that is what you want? Or is that what you think I want?" Xena said
angrily.
"Look
Xena, I don't want a big fight. I've made up my mind. I know I can do it…"
"But I
can't! I don't want to lose you Gabrielle. I am so sorry for the things I've
done that hurt you. I promised to change, and I'll include you more…."
"That
isn't what the problem is. I just don't think we're being honest. I cannot stay
where I have to live a lie. That is what we're doing isn't it?"
That
struck Xena hard, because it was true, they hadn't been honest with each other.
Xena didn't know what to say.
"See?"
Gabrielle said, her tears started to fall. "How can we live together when we
cannot deal with the truth?"
"What is
it then? Tell me, Gabrielle. I am not quitting us. Do you want to be with me?"
"Yes."
"Good,
then let's get down to it," Xena got up and reached for Gabrielle's hand. "It
isn't going to get better until we make it better. I'm not letting you go
without a fight, even if it's you I battle with!"
Gabrielle
looked at Xena with an uneasy feeling in her gut. "Are you sure?'
"Yes."
"I have
to be completely honest," Gabrielle looked straight into Xena's eyes.
"I
wouldn't want it any other way."
"Xena, I
know you wish to protect me. But I'm not sure if you're aware, I want to
protect you."
Xena
nodded.
"When I
stabbed Eve, I felt I was saving you. I thought I was saving us. The furies
might have made me crazy, but the anger was already there. I thought Eve was
taking you away from me. I felt hurt. I was jealous and I hated her for
making me feel like that. I hated her as much as you loved her. I know
you had to stop me with your chakram, but deep down I wondered if you were
tired of being with me."
"No, I'm
not. But Gabrielle, when I saw you stab Eve, my soul filled with rage. I was
going to stop you no matter what. I wasn't going to lose another child," Xena
stopped and willed her self to calm down. "When I lost Solan to Hope, all I thought
about was destroying her evil. Seeing you standing over Eve overwhelmed
me. When you stabbed her I was convinced that you had that evil inside you. I
decided to cut it out with the chakram. Eve's cry ignited a bloodlust within me
that had to be satisfied. I wanted to hurt you, like you'd hurt my daughter,
and I wanted you to suffer. I loved my daughter more than my own life."
"I
understand that Xena. Hope, and as bad as she was, was my daughter. I'd
love her as much as you love Eve." Gabrielle said gently. "I know I couldn't
have a relationship with her and you. When she died, I resented you
thinking I could just forget my child. When Eve was born you blossomed, and you
were so beautiful with her. The Gods went after her and you fought for her life
with everything possible, I felt eat up with grief and shame. Why didn't I
fight for Hope like that? Why didn't I fight for her all? You didn't understand
the pain I felt losing Hope, and you acted like you didn't care. I was a
failure as a mother. When I tried to talk about it, you grew angry and told me
to never discuss her."
"She
killed my son!" Xena cried out.
"And
Hope was killed by her son. After being deceived by ME! Three times! I was
responsible for my daughter's death, and when she died, you thought she should
be forgotten because she was evil. She was still my child! You never seemed to
get that!"
"I saw
her evil, she was less than human, Gabrielle. I didn't see her as a child,
especially not your child." Xena grimaced and rubbed her temples.
"That's
just it, Xena. She is my child, evil or no. Why can't you see that? Just
because she wasn't a perfect being did not mean I loved her less. She is my
child. My child!"
"I
imagined your child to be like you. Pure and innocent."
"That's
a laugh. I don't think I was ever pure or innocent. I have a dark-side too."
Gabrielle looked at the ground when she spoke.
"Gabrielle,
you were pure and innocent, your darkness is my doing. I've involved you in
terrible battles. I caused you to lose your blood innocence, and even Hope is
my fault. I took you to Britannia, I was there when you were attacked, but I
didn't stop it."
"Xena,
when are you going to allow me to be human? I have a dark-side too. A dark-side
just like any other person. Why do you insist upon being the bringer of evil
Gabrielle? You aren't responsible for my actions."
"Gabrielle,"
Xena replied, but Gabrielle wasn't finished.
"Listen
to me. Yes, you can affect some of my choices, yes, you can make me madder than
anyone on Earth, and yes, you aren't innocent. But neither am I! By the Gods,
my daughter's dark-side could have been from me too. She didn't have a chance,
and you know what? I loved her anyway. I love my child! Even when I killed her,
I loved my daughter."
"Like I
love Eve."
"Yes!"
"The
pain you must feel. I'm so sorry." Xena's heart filled with sadness for
Gabrielle, and she understood Gabrielle's heartache over losing her daughter.
"Xena,
I'm sorry I tried to kill Eve. I don't think I ever told you that before and
meant it with all my heart. You should have stopped me in anyway possible."
"When I
saw you above Eve, I saw Hope attacking Solan. My mind was filled with hatred
and I wanted you dead." Xena stopped and shook her head, and then said, " No, I
wanted Hope's evil dead."
Gabrielle
nodded, she felt the same way about Eve.
"We
wanted to protect each other, and destroy the evil,"
"And
evil nearly destroyed us, Xena." Gabrielle scooted next to where Xena sat and
draped her arm across Xena's shoulder, and she wasn't afraid anymore. Xena's
hand found Gabrielle's and their fingers locked. They looked into each other's
eyes and smiled.
Xena
felt the warmth cover her aching soul. Gabrielle's heart jumped like it did
nearly six seasons ago.
"I love
you, Xena."
"I love
you, Gabrielle."
Aphrodite
shimmered and addressed them both. "Okay, here's the deal. You will speak only
the truth, no matter how much it hurts. From the time Eli brought you back
until now you've drifted apart. You both know it and it is up to you to decide
your future together. I didn't put you two together so you could screw it up!"
Aphrodite noticed they were lying side by side and blushed brightly.
"Been
there," Xena started.
"Done
that," Gabrielle finished.
"Thanks
Aphrodite," Xena and Gabrielle said together.
"You two!" The goddess of love smiled. She was thrilled. They had caught the love preserver she had tossed to them, and they held on to each other for dear life.
The end