I don't own CSI or any of the characters. First Snickers fic, please review and tell me what you think! Set somewhere in season 4ish. Thanks!
Sara wiped yet another tear away from her eyes as she flashed back to events of the night before. She had gone out. Alone. Went to just get a bite to eat and a drink at the local bar. She was tried and didn't really feel like having to entertain, so she just went alone. She knew she could have easily called up one of her best friends, Nick, Greg, Catherine. Any one of them would have gone with her and she knew it. But she didn't and that was her fault. What happened was her fault. Had she only been a fraction of a socialite this never would have happened. She would have been protected by a friend. But no. She was alone. And it did happen.
She told herself that even though it sounded cliché, it was true. It had happened so fast. One moment everything was fine. The next…
She just wanted so badly to turn back the clock. Go back in time and fix what happened to her. Every time she played it over in her head it was like she was watching a horror movie. One of those scenes where you scream at the person to turn around, to see the person behind them, to run. But they don't her you. And they don't.
If she had only looked around on her way out to her car, this all could have been prevented. But she had tunnel vision, just looked straight ahead, eager to get home after a long day at work.
She had exited the bar at around eleven that past night. She had a veggie burger and a beer about an hour before that, and then she simply waited a while before she went home. Walking to her car everything was fine. She had her keys in her hand, ready to go. She was about halfway there when it happened.
At first she had no idea what was going on. All of a sudden she felt someone grab her from behind. Struggle with her for a second before dragging her away. She screamed as loudly as she could with the man's hand covering her mouth, and she had tried to fight back. But he was too strong.
He had taken her to his truck. Threw her down on the back seat, lying on top of her to cease her struggles and to quiet her. It had only been a few minutes, but those few minutes felt like years, as he hastily removed her clothes, felt her, bruised her, hurt her. And then it was over. She couldn't remember if she had screamed the whole time, but she was pretty sure that she had. She did know that she never stopped fighting back, and that had hurt even more. But she wasn't going to let him win. She wasn't going to succumb to him. That monster.
He had told her to be quiet, to shut the hell up, as he took advantage of her. He was mean, ugly, rough, and creepy. And then, after a few minutes, it was over.
He had simply thrown her out of his truck onto the ground, and drove away quickly saying something to her that she could not hear, as she lay on the cold, dingy, dirty, parking lot ground.
And then he was gone. It was over. It happened so fast, yet so slow at the same exact time. It wouldn't stop playing in her head over and over again, and no matter what she did, she saw his ugly face every time she closed her eyes.
Now she sat in the locker room after the shift she had just pulled. She wiped another tear away from her eye and sniffed once. Sure she could have stayed home from work that night, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to be alone. And to be honest with herself, she was scared. Scared that that man would show up again. Hurt her again. She had to come to work. She knew she would feel comforted by her friends, her family, there. She definitely wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, but just having her friends around her would make her feel better. And it did, at least for a while.
She closed her locker door and wiped one more tear away from her face. Alright, suck it up Sara. She told herself. You've got to go out there now, and you have to look like every things fine. She had allowed herself to cry when she returned to the locker room from that night's shift, but now she had to walk out to her car, and the risk of bumping into a friend or co-worker on the way out with blotchy red eyes was too high.
With one last sniff she vowed not to cry anymore, at least not until later. It was time to go home now. She started to head toward the door of the locker room to head out for the night, so absent mindedly, so focused on getting to her car without crying, so concentrated on appearing to be fine, that she almost collided with the person walking in.
"Oh hey there!" Nick said apologetically in his charming Texas drawl. He was giving off one of his killer smiles as he reached out to put one hand on Sara's shoulder as he passed her by. "Sorry, I didn't see you there Sar" He explained.
Sara displayed a weak smile across her face as well, and as hard as she tried not to, she flinched slightly when he touched her. Nick was her best friend. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her, but her body reacted involuntarily. Nick looked at her confused, cocked his head slightly, the worry clearly expressed through his caring eyes. Sara was thankful that her case that night had been a solo, otherwise, one of her team members would have definitely noticed something wrong. Nick definitely would have figured it out before the end of shift, and she really just wasn't ready to let anybody know yet.
She tried to make her smile as real as she possibly could, but she failed. Nick saw right through it. But then again, he was her best friend. He always knew when something was bothering her. This was going to be harder than she thought to conceal.
"That's alright, Nicky" She told him in a voice that quivered with uncertainty. She moved to continue walking out the door when Nick stopped her.
"Hey, are you alright?" Nick asked sincerely. He was genuinely worried for his friend. He had noticed her a little off as assignments were given out earlier that night, and he told himself that he was going to talk to her later. Make sure everything was fine. He had never seen her like this before and he knew something was wrong. Sara wasn't the person to open up all her problems to someone, but he wanted her to know that she could tell him anything. Talk to him about whatever was bothering her. Confide in him.
Sara nodded her head up and down quickly as to refute his question. She squinted her eyes and tried another smile. "I'm fine" She tried to assure him. She continued to nod her head. "I'm good" She said a little bit more jumpy than before. She was shaking slightly and took a step back from Nick. She figured the further away she got from him, the harder it would be for him to notice something was going on. Wrong.
"No you're not" Nick said slowly, caringly, concerned, as he took another small step toward her. He scrunched up his face slightly and just looked at his friend. He noticed her pink puffy eyes that had faded significantly since Sara had been crying. He hadn't even noticed them before, that was how slight it was, but now as he got closer, he could tell that she had been crying. At this his heart dropped and his pulse grew faster. He was worried. He knew something had happened to his friend. Something was bothering her. And he wanted to fix it.
Sara couldn't say anything as Nick encroached closer and closer upon her. All she could do was nod her head up and down at an extremely fast pace. She bit her lip to hold back her tears, to prevent from crying. She felt like she was going to burst into tears at any second. And with Nick standing right there, she felt comforted by his willingness to help her, his willingness to protect her, his intense care for her, which only made it harder for her not to cry.
"Sara" Nick asked slowly as he tried to get closer to her, ". . . Have you been crying?" Now he was sincerely worried. He looked at her with those eyes of his that make even the toughest heart melt. That warm sense of caring, of love displayed within his eyes. The way his facial complexion expressed deep concern for her and her wellbeing.
By this time tears had started to well up in Sara's eyes. She quickly nodded her head from side to side as her face turned a pinkish red color. A single tear slipped out of her eye and slid down her cheek. She quickly turned away from her friend and wiped it away, hoping desperately that he hadn't seen it. But, of course, he had.
"Sara" Nick exhaled sadly, almost apologetically. "What's going on?" He asked her again. His voice was full of warmth, comfort, and concern, and his eyes mimicked it. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
She nodded her head up and down a few times, as she wiped away another tear that had slipped down her face. "I know . . . I know" She responded quietly, her voice shaking, quivering on the verge of bursting into tears. Her heart was melting at Nick's genuine kindness. She knew all along that he would be the person she would end up telling. She just didn't want it to be this soon. However, she had underestimated just how much she was hurting and how sincerely her friends would care.
"Then, what's going on?" Nick asked calmly, soothingly as he took yet another step closer. He reached out and placed his hand on Sara's arm. She jerked backward and the tears started coming out at a steady pace now. She leaned up against the locker, and Nick came closer. She pulled away once again, full of sheer terror of men in general at that moment, even though she knew all Nick wanted to do was help. She squirmed against the locker as he closed in on her, trying to get away from him, she started shrieking and she began to cry hysterically. All she could picture was that man.
"Hey, hey . . .Sara its alright" Nick tried to clam his friend down. "It's all right" He reassured her, his tone fully depicting the intense worry he was feeling.
Sara buried her head in her hands and just let herself cry. After a moment or two she realized that it was just Nick, not the man who had attacked her, and she collapsed into him. She rested her face against his chest and cried into his shirt for several minutes before looking up at him.
Nick felt his heart drop in his chest. Whatever was bothering Sara was bad. All he wanted to do was solve her problems, mend her pain, make it all go away, and just tell her everything was going to be all right. He rested his head against Sara's as he wrapped one arm around her in a hug, using the other to rub her back comfortingly. "It's alright darling" He told her as he embraced her in a hug. "Every things going to be alright"
After a few minutes of being comforted, Sara backed off her friend slightly in order to look into his eyes. She took another step backward and noticed that his light blue t-shirt was now covered in dark blue splotches from her tears. "I'm sorry" She apologized as she ran her hand over the wet spots on his chest.
"Don't worry about it" Nick told her, still completely concerned for her well being. He wasn't sure if he should ask her again what was going on with her, what was bothering her so intensely, or if he should just wait for her to open up to him when she was ready. He decided not to push her, and let her talk when she was ready.
Sara sat down on the bench behind her and wiped away the tears from her face. Nick sat down beside her and picked up her hand off the bench and took it in his. He rubbed his thumb over her hand slowly and reassuringly.
After a few minutes of silence Sara started to speak. Her voice was shaky and quivered with uncertainty, but she had to get it out. She knew she had to tell someone. "I was . . ." She began as she tried to figure out the best way to start what she was going to tell him. After realizing that there was no good way to say what she was about to admit, she continued on.
Sara grew fidgety as she sat on the bench. The pictures of that night, the attack, came back to her and she started to cry again. Nick wrapped an arm around her, and Sara continued on.
"Last night" Sara began again, ". . . I went out for a drink" Sara nodded, a sign of encouragement from herself to keep going on with her story. Nick remained silent. He just allowed Sara to say what she needed to say.
"And when I was walking out to my car . . ." Sara paused. She started to cry again and Nick rubbed her arm.
"It's all right" He reassured her, and after a second she continued.
". . . I was almost at my car, when" Sara paused again, sniffled, and then continued on. "I was attacked" She started to cry again, and without even saying the word, Nick knew what she meant.
He immediately felt his heart ripping into tiny pieces. A scorching blade stabbing at his lungs, igniting them, and making them burn. He then understood why Sara had backed away from him, shrieked as he came closer. He grew disgusted that someone would do something like that to Sara. His friend. His family. And then he grew angry. He wanted to find the son of a bitch and punch him, stab him, shoot him. But right now all he could do was comfort his friend and that's what he did.
"I was raped" Sara spoke slowly through her tears and after she had said the word, she started crying more than before. Nick just wrapped himself around Sara. Embracing her into a tight hug and holding her tight to him.
"I'm sorry, Sara. I'm sorry" He didn't know what to say to her and he felt terrible. It made him feel sick, and for a second he thought he was going to throw up. He continued to embrace his friend, reassure her that everything was going to be okay. "It'll be alright, Sara. It'll be okay." He rubbed his hand comfortingly over her back as he continued to hold her in a tight embrace. "I'm here. It's over now. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." He told her reassuringly, "I'm here for you."