Daria looked up from her computer to see Quinn leaning against the frame of her door, arms crossed. "While I believe that this town possesses a number of undesirable qualities, you have to admit that it's better than the cesspit we left a month ago."
"WhatEVER, Daria. At least there I was popular."
This caused Daria's eyebrows to raise a fraction of an inch. "You? Not popular? Come on, Quinn, pull the other one."
"Come ON, Daria, I came to you for, like, advice. And stuff."
Daria sighed. "I know I'm going to regret this...why in the world do you need MY advice on being popular?"
"It's like...Daria, this place is like a crazy world!"
Daria sighed again, feeling the beginnings of a headache. "Try starting from the beginning."
Quinn nodded. "Okay. It was the first day of school..."
XXXX
"Don't get upset if it takes the other kids a little while to warm up to you."
Quinn ignored her father as she stepped out of the car, and was immediately greeted by several obviously-popular students. Score.
"Hi! You're cool. What's your name?" asked a girl with pigtails.
"Quinn Morgendorffer," she replied coolly.
"Cool name," said another girl. "So, are you Team Edward, or Team Jacob?"
"Uh...what?" Quinn asked, taken completely off guard.
"I said, are you Team Edward, or Team Jacob? It's not that hard of a question."
Quinn distantly wondered if this was what it was like to visit a foreign country where they didn't speak English, like Canada. She decided to take a blind leap. "Why, Team Jacob, of course," she replied with a false smile.
"Oh," the girl said dismissively. "Well, there's no accounting for taste, I guess. I'm Sandi Griffin, and I run the school's Twilight Club. We let all kinds into our club, even..." She sniffed contemptuously. "Team Jacob."
"Oh, cool. Sounds like my kind of club. What's Twilight?" She realized her mistake the second the words left her mouth.
Sandi narrowed her eyes as her mouth became a hard slit. "Come on, Stacy, we don't want to be late for class." She turned and walked away, dismissive of Quinn's existence.
XXXX
Daria had her fingers tented in contemplation after she listened to Quinn's story. Finally, she said, "Twilight."
"Yeah. I tried to ask around, but most of the girls were shunning me. I finally cornered one of the little ones, and she told me it was a book."
"Yes, Twilight is a book."
"I mean, what the heck is going on here? People who read books are popular? It doesn't make sense! Especially since you're not popular! I mean, aren't all books alike?"
Daria scowled. "I can understand how you might come to that conclusion, as the only thing you know about books is that they contain ink and paper."
"But, like, what can you tell me about Twilight?"
Daria opened her desk drawer, took out a bottle of aspirin, and dry-swallowed two tablets. "This may surprise you, sis, but I've shied away from Twilight ever since I first heard about it. It's...well..." A contemplative look appeared on her face. "You know what, it's probably right up your alley. If you want to be popular, Quinn, go read that book."
Quinn sighed dramatically. "Are you sure, Daria? Oh, the things I do for popularity..." She left without waiting for a parting shot from Daria.
Daria massaged her temples. "God help me, I told Quinn to go read Twilight. As those two dumbasses might have said, this sucks."