Disclaimers: CLAMP own everything. They even own Clef...lucky women!
Notes: It's a Clef POV fanfiction. I got the inspiration for this thanks a fanart I found on the net showing the missing scene in the Anime when Umi is in Clef's chambers after he saved her and the others from Debonair (ep. 17 of the second season, I think).
-Hidden Feelings-
When I opened my eyes, I found around me the familiar view of my personal inner chamber. How did I got there? Rubbing my aching head, I realized that I wasn't wearing my corn. What had happened? I didn't remember to have walked to my quarters. I would have never left my throne room, dangerously lowering our defenses, whit Autozam's NSX flying just above our heads.
A light noise caught my attention and I had a glimpse of blue hair flowing across the door. Umi.
"You are awake" she sweetly said, pulling a tea tray inside the room with her
"I...what are you doing here?" I didn't mean to sound cold, but it was an instinctively reaction I used to have when I saw invaded my personal spaces. Beside this I hated being seen in such conditions, especially by her. She often teased me for my childish look and I didn't want to be seen like a small kid in need of help, proud as I am I can't permit it. Her eyes casted down
"forgive me, I didn't want to disturb your privacy, I was just worried for you" worried for me?
"I'm fine, I suppose" I answered, reaching out for my staff and corn
"no" she firmly said, grabbing my goods and taking them away from my reach
"may I ask you what are you doing?" now I was irritated. Usually I am a very patient man, but Umi had the great ability of draining out my patient in less than few minutes. That was a thing I found really fascinating if not for the fact that it often leaded to the most terrible argument between us.
"I'm taking care of you!" she shouted, but immediately seemed having regretted it as one of her hands flew to her mouth "forgive me, I suppose you're old enough to take care of yourself" she muttered then.
Being Umi the outspoken person she was, the sight of her embarrassment was even more fascinating than her personality. Her words made me smile and I made her sign to sit on the edge of my huge bed.
"Thank you" I said, placing my hand on hers, like I had already did some nights before. As had happened that night, I felt a sudden relief, like a heartwarming sensation slowly enveloping me 'till the depth of my soul. She sighed and entwined her fingers with mine
"I'm worried for you, Clef. I was so scared when you fainted there and..."
"fainted?" it was all clear now, slowly the memories of me using my magic to help her and Ascot and Fuu and Ferio to escape from Debonair filled my brain. I knew it'd be a very tiring spell, but I couldn't leave them alone. I couldn't leave her alone. Ascot arrived to fight for her, while I was in my throne room, too old and tired to clasp my wand and going outside. Saving their lives was the least I could do, I wanted her to be safe.
"Don't worry about me, I'm fine"
"no! you're not fine! Look at you, have you the slightest idea of how tired you look? Your damn tricks are slowly draining away your energy!"
"my damn tricks keep the enemy out!" I angrily yelled
"I don't care of the enemy, I care about you! If something happens to you I..."
"nothing will happen, Umi. Nothing. I know what I do, trust me" she bit her lower lip
"I'm afraid, Clef" she admitted. And suddenly I saw her for what she really was: a fourteen years old girl that has grown up too fast, involved in something far bigger than her. Her blunt personality was nothing but a façade to hide her fragilities.
Without even realizing what I was doing, I reached out and held her. She stiffened in my arms
"Everything will be fine" I whispered to her
"what if not?"
"it will. Trust in me, Umi. Nothing will happen to you or to the others, I promise" she broke the hug and looked down, her hand tormenting the white sheets of my bed
"I don't care of what happens to me, I care of what happens to you, Clef" her voice was merely a whisper, but loud enough for me to hear it. I sighed
"I lived too long, Umi, and my life brought me many wonderful things" instinctively, my fingers started playing with the tip of a strand of her hair. They were soft and silky, even after the terrible battle she had just been through
"what does this mean?" she shouted, outraged
"means that if something would happen to me, I'd have no regrets. Defending your country and the people you love is the best way to di—"
"don't even say it!" she yelled, shutting her eyes and covering her ears with her hands.
I smiled at that sight and took one of her hand
"calm down"
"I won't hear you say anything like that ever again, was I clear?" I nodded and reached out to grab my wand
"Clef, you shouldn't..."
"you should go to see how's Ascot" I forced myself to say
"Caldina is taking care of him, I'm sure that he's fine" I locked my corn around my forehead
"he came to rescue you, you should really go" that was the right thing to do. Old and weak as I was, I would never have been able to make her happy, no matter what my heart wanted.
"but you saved us all"
"I'm the Master Mage, I must protect you Knights and Cephiro"
"but Clef..."
"I'm fine. You can go now" I didn't dare to look at her face. I felt her standing up from the bed and heard her steps on the marble floor. Once in front of the door, she stopped
"Clef..." her tone was so sad that I had to force myself to send her away, before my instincts could take over me
"go to Ascot" I firmily said.
As the door closed, I collapsed in my pillows and covered my eyes with my arm. I had done the right thing, I couldn't let my feelings take over me. I looked at the tea tray beside my bed and grabbed a cup, drinking the brew in one sip.
Cephiro had to come first. That thought prompted me to stand up and grab my wand, I had a country to protect. And I wanted to protect Umi, even if there was no chance for her to be mine.