Guide to surviving the Winchesters
Rule 1
Don't follow Sam around on his jogs blasting Eye of the Tiger for 'encouragement'.
(He didn't appreciate my encouragement, he demonstrated that with bitchface number 12)
Rule 2
Don't number Sam's bitchfaces.
Rule 3
Don't call Sam's bitchfaces 'bitchfaces'.
Rule 4
No more changing Sam's alarm clock to 'Heat of the Moment'.
(All I heard from his room was "not this shit again.")
Rule 5
Quoting 'The Avengers' is banned.
'You mewling quim!'
'Don't call me a whimpering vagina! You're a whimpering penis!'
(Dean and I after I at the rest of his pie.)
'I have an army of demons!'
'We have a hulk.'
(Crowley didn't really know what to say back to that.)
(Dean looked incredibly smug though.)
'I'm not afraid to hit an old man.'
(Dean when he was arguing with Cas.)
'Is everything a joke to you, Dean?'
'Funny things are.'
(That one sure did piss Sam off.)
Rule 6
No more pretending to be a Satanist.
(I really freaked Sam, Cas and Dean out.)
(I would say things like:
'Man, I miss Lucifer.'
'God, psshhh, Lucifer is the real God.'
'Where are the horseman's rings, I'll rise Satan myself.'
'I need to be evil, so when I die I am guaranteed to go to hell.'
'Those two goons who stopped the apocalypse, why I outa…'
(Whenever Cas entered the room I would hiss and say 'it burns, the righteousness, it buuuurns')
Rule 7
The Vagina song is banned.
'Who likes vaginas, I do, I do, who likes vaginas that would be me!'
(Also no more changing Charlie's ringtone to that.)
(Or playing it when she walks into the room.)
(Just don't play it.)
Rule 8
No more signing 'Let it Go' when someone is using the toilet.
(I scared the shit out of Dean when he was in the bathroom and I started singing loudly: 'LET IT GO, LET IT GO, CAN'T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE'
'Dammit, Ellie, just let me take a leak in peace!'
Rule 9
Hiding in closets then whispering 'welcome to Narnia' when someone opens the door is banned.
(Dean pulled a gun on me)
(Sam dropped his coffee in fright)
(Cas was unfazed but confused about what Narnia was and why it would be in a closet)
Rule 10
No more hiding walkie talkies everywhere and screaming at people when they walk by.
(Dean casually pulled out his gun and shot the walkie talkie before continuing what he was doing)
(Sam dropped his coffee again, then yelled at me through the walkie talkie. He got super annoyed when I just kept screaming.)
Rule 11
No more changing the ice cream to mayo.
(It was Dean who ate it, he had one gigantic spoonful, swallowed it before realizing that it wasn't ice cream)
(Then he threw up.)
(Tough stomach huh?)
Good, bad? Should I continue?
Thank you for reading, please leave a review if you liked, I would appreciate it. :)