I'll never forget the night we left New York City.

The Kraang defeated us. Leo got badly hurt. Master Splinter is…gone.

We lost.

We had nowhere left to go, so we came to the old farmhouse I grew up in, miles away from the city; a place we could all be safe in.

The first thing we did was take care of poor Leonardo.

Raphael keeps a constant vigil over Leo, waiting for him to wake up. Michelangelo goofs around a lot, but he does a ton of chores around the house.

…but mostly, he goofs around a lot.

Donatello built a lab in the barn, trying to create a mutagenic medicine to heal Leo.

And then there's me: April O'Neil. I spend most of my time training with the turtles and writing in my ever-expanding journal. I miss New York, my sensei, my dad… Hopefully Leo will recover and we can all go home soon…if there's even a home to go back to.

But life, as Master Splinter would say, must continue on.

- April O'Neil, Within the Woods

It has to be at least one o'clock in the morning. The sky's full of stars, there's a chill in the air, and I can see the credits of Mikey's late night TV shows rolling from here. Lucky for me, late night shows equals sleeping Mikey, and sleeping Mikey equals quiet Mikey. So I won't have to hear all the burning questions he's always ready to ask me, such as…

What are you working on, Donnie?

Do you wanna play hide n' seek with me, Donnie?

Or, my personal (least) favorite:

Don, when's Leo gonna wake up?

I can't help but flinch as I creak the porch door open. The last thing I want to do is wake up April. She'd give me that look and tell me I should be in bed, and… Well, I like the attention and concern, but right now there's something that matters more than my sleeping habits, and that something—that someone—has been lying unconscious in a tub for about a month.

Because of me.

Each floorboard I step on makes a small sound, but the noises aren't nearly as loud as Mikey's snores, so I think I'm safe. I look around and take a quick inventory: Michelangelo's on the floor, Casey's on the couch… April's probably in her room, I conclude as I tip-toe my way up the stairs. And Raphael? Raph is in the same spot he's been in for about a month: next to Leo. The shell-head made a makeshift bed using one blanket and two pillows, right next to the bathtub on that cold, tile floor.

I stopped trying to convince him to sleep in a real bed. Raph is as stubborn as a turtle can get, and any effort on my part is a waste of time that could be spent trying to create a cure for Leonardo.

We barely acknowledge each other when I slip into the bathroom. At first, I'm not even sure that he's awake. His eyes are glazed over, but he tilts his head up enough to make sure it's me before drooping back down again. As the fluorescent light hits his features, the dark rings under his eyes become much more obvious. I frown and give him a half-nod before going straight to my oldest brother. He's a little hot to the touch, so I unplug the drain and begin letting the lukewarm water drain out. Immediately, I then turn the knob for cold water, re-plug the drain, and wait for the tub to refill itself.

"How's that cure comin', Don?"

His voice is barely above a husky whisper, only making it that much more obvious how exhausted he is. Since I'm able to sympathize, I temper my response with a sigh before answering. "Not so great."

There's a thump and I just know he's leaned his head back against the wall. "It's been a month. How long is it going to take? And when's Leo gonna wake up?"

I have to grind my teeth to keep from snapping at him. This is Raph, not Mikey, I remind myself. Even then, I can't keep the tired glare from my eyes as I stand and turn to look at him. Why am I always expected to have all the answers? "I don't know,Raph. Don't you think if I did I'd be doing something about it?"

All he does is shrug, staring forward with a completely blank expression. I give him a second to verbally respond, but when he doesn't, I turn just a tad to check on the water. It's only then that I hear him whisper, "Doesn't seem like you've been doing much of anything, lately."

…

"Are you joking?" There's an obvious crack in my voice, and even though I HATE how vulnerable it makes me sound, I force myself to act just a little tougher than I actually am at the moment. The truth is, we're both dead on our feet, and I know he doesn't mean it the second I see him look at me with a hint of panic in his gaze. It's almost like an out-of-body experience when I continue to argue anyway. "Donnie, I—"

"I've been sitting in that barn for hours—for days—on end, trying to find a cure to help Leo! Trying and failing, over and over and over again. What have you been doing, Raph? Besides sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself?"

My voice has gotten noticeably louder, but Raphael doesn't rise to the challenge. Instead, he just stares at me with one of those looks he usually only saves for Leo during a particularly bad argument. I admit, it feels weird (and slightly intimidating) to be on the receiving end of the look, but I just continue staring right back at him. After a long, long time, he just sort of sneers and looks away, gesturing toward the door with a little nod. "Get out."

Raph's voice is a defeated whisper, and even though I'm itching for a way to blow off steam, I also know I wouldn't win a physical fight with Raphael and just decide to spare myself the humiliation. It's not like he's in the mood to fight, anyway.

With one harsh but swift movement, I shut the water off and stomp out of the bathroom, consciously reminding myself to step lightly once I'm out of Raphael's sight so that I don't wake the others up. I barely notice the sound of Raph shifting positions (probably to lie down) before I'm all the way down the stairs and out of the house in what feels like the blink of an eye.

Forget sleep; I need to keep my hands busy before I do something regrettable.

Back to the lab it is!

6 hours later

Just one more… Dosage…

I need to put it on the burner and give it about five minutes.

Five minutes… That should be long enough for a quick nap…

I'll just lay my head down and rest my eyes for just a…

1 hour later

One of the worst parts of being out in the middle of nowhere? There's nothing on TV. Well, nothing besides Mikey's stupid cartoons.

Ugh… I'm pretty sure I've hit channel 19 about twelve times now. But what else am I supposed to do?

"What have you been doing, Raph? Besides sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself?"

…stupid Donnie.

I toss the remote to the other side of the couch and sink a little further into my seat. This movie looks like one of those early horror flicks, with puppets for monsters and just really bad acting. It's not like I'm really paying attention, though. I'm too busy thinking about what Don said last night…this morning…? Eh, whatever.

Point is, is he right? I mean, I haven't been doing much of anything since we got to the farmhouse, but what am I supposed to do? I can't wake Leo up. I can't bring Master Splinter back. I can't take down the Kraang and make everything normal again. So, I've done the only thing that makes me feel useful: be there for Leo in case he does wake up.

Maybe I'm missing something…?

I bring my hands up to my face and dig the heels of my palms into my eyes. I should probably go talk to Donnie.

Let's see… Case and April went to the store about ten minutes ago. I'm pretty sure Mikey's gotten himself lost in the woods somewhere. Don wasn't in his room when I got up this morning, so he's probably in the barn. Again.

I've just stood up when I sense it: the smell of smoke.

In my heart, I know where it's coming even before I see billows of black clouds rising from the barn.

It's Donnie.

Something smells… Not right.

And why am I sweating so much?

I pry my eyes open and immediately feel them tingle. Smoke—it's everywhere. I fly up and out of my chair in a panic, looking around for the source of the fire.

…aw, shell. It's the would-be cure.

I must have slept longer than I meant to. My desk is engulfed in flames—it's a wonder I didn't catch fire myself. The blaze is crawling up the wall quickly, and before I know it, it has spread all the way to the door. There's no way out.

There's no way out.

I raise my arm to cover my beak, looking around desperately for an escape, even as the coughs come rolling out of me. There has to be another door, or a window, or something.

No…

…no…

Well… I've really done it this time.

It's getting hotter, and since there's nowhere for the air to escape to, the smoke is impossibly thick. Covering my mouth is useless. I'll still die from smoke inhalation before the flames reach me.

As I collapse to my knees, all I can think about is how I've failed my brothers. Now I'll never find a cure for Leo… And if he doesn't wake up, I'll have robbed my family of two members.

I shouldn't have fought with Leo the night of the invasion.

I should have spent more time with Mikey.

I shouldn't have snapped at Raph.

In short? I should have been more careful.

Now I won't get the chance to fix anything.

It hasn't really registered in my mind that I'm already giving up, but… I guess I am. Black spots have begun to invade my vision. It won't be long now… It won't be…

"DON!"

As soon as I kick the door down, I'm flooded with smoke. It's hard to look through, but I've gotta find my brother. It's the only thing that matters. He's the only thing that matters.

I barely notice the way my eyes water or the way my lungs burn, but what I do know is that my vocal chords are going to be fried tomorrow. I don't know how I manage to yell out his name as loud as I do, but it isn't until after I've called for him that I notice his dark silhouette crumpled up on the ground. Without much thought, I run forward, grab him under the armpits, and start dragging him outside just as fast as I can.

As we move, the barn begins to crumble, and pieces of wood and ash are left on our trail. I'm moving as fast as I can, but it isn't easy when Don's all dead-weight. There's a voice in the back of my mind screaming to make sure he isn't actually dead, but I can't do that till we're safe.

He'd better not be dead. I'll kill him, if he is. Pound his shell right into the ground.

We gotta have some kinda good luck, because it isn't until right after we're outside that the entire building collapses. It goes down with a groan, but I don't even hear it. All I see is Donatello, lying in the grass, covered with soot and… Not breathing.

Don's not breathing.

Crud, crud, crud. How do I do this?

As I start breathing into Donnie's beak, I decide we're gonna need CPR lessons later. I only know what to do from what I've seen on TV, and that might not be enough.

What the shell am I saying? It's going to be enough—it has to be enough!

Okay: one, two, three.

One, two, three.

One, two, thr—

Don's eyes suddenly fly open and he starts coughing. He has a wild look in his gaze and I can tell he's in a panic, so I move directly behind him and help him sit up. Letting him lean back against me, I wrap an arm around his chest and keep one hand on his upper arm, gripping him tight in an attempt to be reassuring. "Hey, hey, easy, Braniac. You're safe. You're alright."

It takes a few seconds of wheezing and struggling against my hold, but after he realizes we're outside of the barn, he starts to settle and relax against me. Together, we watch the barn burn into ashes, and it isn't until the adrenaline starts leaving my system that I realize just how shaky my hands are—how shaky my whole body is.

I try to disguise it by tightening my grip on my little bro, but when Don lifts a hand to rest on my forearm, I know he's noticed it. I swallow, thinking at first that I'm just swallowing down my embarrassment at being caught. But I'm not in the smoke anymore and my eyes are still watering, so I know it's gotta be more than that.

Then it hits me: I'd almost lost Donnie.

Master Splinter is dead. Leo might never wake up. And Don was almost burned alive.

As I clench my teeth together, I feel his thumb rubbing against my arm and then I hear him whisper, "I'm sorry."

I swear only ONE tear goes down my cheek before I tighten my arms again and dig my chin into the top of his head. "Shut up."

In the distant background, I hear car doors and panicked voices coming from April and Casey. Out of the corner of my eye comes Mikey, running from the woods with a genuinely terrified look in his eyes. I watch him run, I hold Donnie in my arms, and all I can think is… This is what I'm supposed to be doing: being there for my little brothers.

I'll still be there for Leo too, but Don's right: I can't just keep locking myself in a bathroom every day and pretending I'm doing any good. Don needs me. Mikey needs me. And I need them, too.

Life, as Master Splinter would say… Must continue on.

A/N: Okay, so funny story.

This story idea actually came to me while I was playing... The Sims 3. I know, I know, go ahead and judge. But I totally made the TMNT (in human form, of course) and the house caught on fire while Donatello was inside. Raphael saved the day, and I was just like...

"Hm."

BAM. Story idea.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it... I'm not used to writing in first person, and I'm DEFINITELY not used to writing Raph and Donnie fics, especially in the 2k12 world. Don't get me wrong, I think the series is adorable-but the 2k3 cartoon is my autopilot. So yeah, if you have any tips for their POVs, leave a review!

Or, if you thought it was the greatest thing you've ever read... Leave a review.

(Just kidding.)

(Not really. Love me.)

Okee, bye!

- Haley