Thunder: Hey! Merry Christmas to all of you! I hope you enjoy this little story…

Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King.

A Merry Christmas

I was sitting on a cliff, therefore getting the best view in town. The stars of the night were shining so bright, more than they usually do, and I'm the one who knows that best. That was what I saw when I looked up, a sight that could open up anyone's heart, anyone's mind…in there, I could see what I always dreamed of. A dream…that possibly everyone thought was a mere trick or that they were dreaming themselves. But they didn't know my pain, no one knew.

Then I looked down, the streets were lit by the most colorful lights. A sight that truly made me smile a happy sincere smile. I saw people greeting each other, wishing each other a Merry Christmas, retiring to their houses, to their families. And for the first time in a long while, I didn't feel disgusted, I felt…like something inside me was suddenly turning warm, when in a thousand years it mostly felt cold. For the first time, I didn't mind that unendurable surge of energy that would usually cause me to scream in pain, a little too detailed for my liking, but it is true. For the first time, the thoughts were clear, clean, happy, forgiving. Something so different from what I was used to. Something that was kind to my secretly broken soul.

I took a deep breath, I felt someone approaching. But from all the thoughts clashing through my mind, I could barely make out the sound of the footsteps.

"Oni-chan?" I heard a soft voice call out to me, but suddenly I did not feel the strength to turn my head…I did not even have the urge to look at him, no matter how welcoming and concerned the tone of his voice was. The person came closer, though I already knew who it was. It brought back a memory to my aching mind…

When I ridiculously knocked the door of my brother's house, waiting to smile at him and say Merry Christmas; I even had a present for him, how stupid of me. Unfortunately the one who opened the door was his father; both of us were speechless until Yoh came up from behind Mikihisa. He was speechless too, though I did hear something inside his mind, not very clear, but it had a different feeling to his father's. Soon everyone else came up to see what was going on; I even saw Marco and that Lady Jeanne standing between them too. And right then, I felt completely lost, something I really hate. My body acted on its own, taking slow steps back then turning away to run. Then I heard him running after me, calling me to stop and come back. But I couldn't, though I really wanted to, but I just couldn't. How could I be so foolish, going there and expecting a warm welcoming and forgiveness? It was far more than an impossible dream. I didn't realize it but the tears were rolling down uncontrollably, the cold air running in and out, scratching my throat all the way, as I took fast and deep breaths. I had probably reached the middle of the town, and still he was running not far behind me. I finally shook him up and ran to this cliff, right where I was imagining how it would turn out, before I got the stupid idea to actually try and see for myself.

"Oni-chan…" You were standing right behind me now. Concern filling your voice, though hidden in a tinge of happiness. I just sat there, I couldn't move a finger. Why am I so powerless? I hate this feeling.

"Oni-chan." Your voice was now clear and happy. You leaned over me in a childish way, a sense of childish happiness in your mind as well. I couldn't help but smile at that. You sat right next to me and I finally regain some control. I simply lifted my hands and put them on my lap. I don't know how but I suddenly felt scared and happy, nervous and excited, closed up and open all at the same time and my face, as usual, didn't show a tiny speck of that ultimate contradiction. Then you gently forced me to turn my head and look at you, I didn't realize we were so close to each other. Once I saw that sincere concerned look on your face. It just reminded me of something, something that I haven't seen in such a long time, something…but I forgot what that thing was. You hid it well with a smile, but eyes can never lie. Not even I can change that fact. You unexpectedly moved your hand and wiped my cheek, I didn't realize I was crying till then. Then you wipe the other and pull me into a hug. I suddenly felt so warm, warmer than I ever did in any moment in my life. It happened again; my body simply took control, or maybe was it my sub consciousness? My hands hesitantly lifted to return your hug. I pulled you closer to me, tears forming in my eyes as I closed them tight but I didn't let them fall. I feel you as you smile against my shoulder; you slowly pulled away and took my hands, somehow leading the way. I let you guide me, though I knew I wasn't going to be satisfied, but I trusted you.

We finally reach the entrance of your house. We stood under the stone archway; I was surprised to see everyone standing there in front of the door. Some of them looked puzzled; others had distrust written on their faces while some were actually smiling. You smiled at me reassuringly, and then you smiled at them. The first one to react was your mother; she came so quickly that I couldn't even follow. She hugged me so tight, so warmly. A soft gasp escaped my mouth as she nearly knocked me down, but she held me so tight and I did too. The feelings that welled up inside me, I never thought I could feel them again. The feelings I used to experience when my own mother was alive, yes that was tat feeling that I had forgotten, that was the treasure that I had misplaced. The tears fell from my eyes against my will, even sobs escaped my throat as I remembered and felt. For the first time I feel the desperate urge to cry my heart out as I held onto her, my mother. Sometimes I thought, why did I ever leave? I hated those questions because they made me weak, they only came when I was vulnerable, just like now. Suddenly I feel another set of arms encircling me, I open my eyes and to my surprise. It was my father, followed by my brother. The shock that washed over me, when even Jeanne came and hugged me. I really thought I was dreaming. They slowly pulled away…

"Welcome." Jeanne said to me. I looked at her confused, I didn't understand a thing. I looked at everyone's face, smiles, so warm were plastered on them. Even that little human, the one who used to shake in fear once he saw me, he stood so calmly with such a nice smile. Lyserg, the one I hurt the most, he was smiling, not as brightly as the others, but at least it wasn't fake.

"It's Christmas." Jeanne finally stated. But I still didn't understand.

"It's the time for forgiveness." Marco completed after her. But how? How could I be forgiven? This has to be a dream.

"And you coming by just the way you did it showed that you do want it." Mikihisa, my father continued.

"I knew you would come." Yoh started. I looked at him, confusion and disbelief were clear in my eyes.

"I felt it, and I always have. You wanted a family, you just couldn't get one." He finished.

"This has to be a joke. Are you making fun of me? Don't mess around with my feelings like that!" I finally yelled. The last part, I sobbed it out. I was betrayed so many times, this time couldn't be any different. I lower my head as tears roll down.

"You are heartbroken." Keiko, my mother stated in a sad voice. I looked at her from the corner of my eye.

"Why would you refuse such an offer when we all know that you really want it? If it's your pride that's stopping you then let it go." Ren said, his arms crossed over his chest.

"It's not my pride. It's…" I trailed off, looking away.

"Then what is it?" My father asked, wanting an answer.

"I've hurt too many, I can never belong to a family no matter what I do. I've been alone for a thousand years and I will always be alone. I'm used to it, I don't a family." I lied. Everyone knew that I lied. But what could I say? I'm begging for your forgiveness and I want to be a part of my real family again? I couldn't, I just couldn't.

"You said there was no pride left standing in your way dude." Horo Horo, that weird Ainu boy stated. I lower my head ashamed, my palms forming tight fists.

"Hao, oni-chan, you know you are welcome here. Everyone agrees right guys?" Yoh asked everyone. I looked up and I saw everyone nodding.

"It is Christmas after all." Said Faust while he stood near his dead wife, his arm around her waist.

"And we are one big family." Anna stated to my surprise.

"And the past is past. Time to throw away the old three chaptered book and start with a new one." Lyserg spoke for the first time. And what he said could've simply knocked me down. He slowly came nearer until he was standing in front of me. He held out his hand.

"We all know what happened to you…A weird nekomata spirit came and told us." He stated. I stared at his hand, and not wanting to make him wait any longer I quickly shook it and thanked him. Then my mind registered what he had just said.

"Nekomata? M-Matamune? Matamune came here?" I asked Yoh in shock and disbelief. You nodded at me with a smile.

"He's still here." You said and I believe I looked really silly when my eyes grew big in shock.

"Over here, Hao-sama." I heard a familiar voice call. I followed the source of it to the archway above me, and there he sat. The person I used to call friend, the one who betrayed me, killed me. But I didn't feel any grudge, no I felt so happy. He jumped and landed right in front of me.

"And I'm not alone, Hao-sama." He said with his characteristic cat smile. I didn't understand what he meant though.

"So you finally came back, eh Mappa Douji?" an old and forgotten voice called out.

"O-Ohachiyo? W-Where?" I actually started looking left and right frantically. I looked up and there he was. Sitting in that posture on the top of the roof, holding his long rod that ends in a semi-umbrella form. The same posture that I met him with on that bridge.

"Long time no see, Mappa Douji. Are you finally back to your old self again?" He asked with that smile of his, how I missed that smile, it used to be the only thing that would change my mood when I was upset. I just stare at him, not believing my eyes.

"…yes I can still sense that little kid inside you, just need to bring it up to the surface." He mused. I couldn't get my eyes off of him, all the forgotten memories I had had with him.

"Hehe, I'm glad you still have that weird look in your eyes." He chuckled.

"How…did you both get here?" I asked in awe. They both chuckled.

"Anna-san summoned us." Matamune answered as one of his two tails pointed in Anna's direction and I looked at her.

"It was hard to actually find them and summon them but I did it. Nothing gets in my way after all." She said with a smug smile on her face.

"Thank you…" I whispered. Silence engulfed the place all of a sudden. Leaving me a moment to think about what's happening around me.

Why should I believe in them? Just because they brought back two spirits? Those two simply deserted me…There's a fifty percent chance that they would do it again…but…

"Come on oni-chan, let's go inside. You must be as cold as stone with what you're wearing. Plus, it's snowing…" said Yoh coming closer. I looked down at myself and saw that I was only wearing a ripped jeans and a very light T-Shirt…

"How do you know that I've changed? How do you know that I'm wouldn't attack you right now? What do you think holds me back from destroying all of you right here? And how should I know that this is just one of your stupid tricks to try and kill me?" Something came over me, I don't know why but…I just said these stuff with that much malice…but…I don't know why…Yoh looked at me with a sad face and lowered your hand that you've offered, everyone else behind him sighed.

"You're drowning yourself Mappa Douji. We were one step away from reaching you but you took another four steps back. We are the ones trying to pull you up but you keep refuse to stretch out your hand. We are a feather's length away from your inner soul but you're still holding up a wall." Ohachiyo sighed as he turned away to gaze thoughtfully at the nearby woods. Small snow flakes were starting to fall, it was snowing. I clenched my teeth; I knew that Ohaciyo knew a lot, especially since he had that reishi ability as well.

"What are you afraid of?" Chocolove asked for the first time sounding serious. I simply glared, not as maliciously as usual, because inside I was struggling to hold back the feelings. Jeanne suddenly curled up, her head bowed and her hands tucked close to her chest; her entire form was shivering in that black and white dress. She looked up at me, red eyes teary. Her voice suddenly made me flinch.

"We are giving you a chance. Why are you refusing? Don't you want this war to end? Aren't you tired yet? Don't you wish for peace?" Her arms spread as she expressed her feelings in front of me for the first time. Marco put his hands on her shoulder, telling her to calm down.

"Oni-chan…" You called me and I looked at you.

"What is stopping you?" I didn't answer, but somebody else did.

"He is afraid to be betrayed again…by the people he trusts…the most." Matamune said as he looked away with shame.

"He doesn't want to feel happiness and safety, because he doesn't want to experience their loss. He doesn't want the picture that he had formed inside his head to shatter into a million pieces. And a lot more…isn't that what you're thinking Mappa Douji?" Ohachiyo finished for Matamune. I looked down, I felt like everyone was staring at me, and I couldn't bring myself to look them in the eye, because what Ohachiyo said…it was true. Those were my thoughts.

"But we are all here! You can read our minds. You know that we meant every word we said, you know that we won't turn away!" Yoh protested. I stare at you for a moment…and then I give in.

"I…I just can't." I sighed, still not looking up.

"Ugh, if you keep this up I'll leave, Mappa Douji." Ohachiyo simply stated as he stood up. My head shot up to meet his eyes, shocked my eyes told everything my voice couldn't.

"I only came to see you smile; if that's not going to happen then I have no purpose here." It seemed as though he was going to jump up and simply disappear, I couldn't hold myself anymore.

"No wait!" I finally screamed. Tears falling down like rain. He looked at me, everyone did.

"I…It's true…I…I am scared but…I just…I really want to feel it again, I really want to have a family…but what can I do?" I hesitantly said, my voice a little over a whisper. You and Ohachiyo seemed satisfied, because those were my true words, no lies. I felt better, like everything was really going to be okay, like something heavy suddenly lifted.

"Dude, now you're over your pride." Horo Horo said nodding his head.

"But I have to say, seriously you're emotionally tormented." I sighed and looked away, a small smile curling my lips. Can't really argue with that. Ohachiyo chuckled and I looked at him with a playful scowl. I knew he was listening to my thoughts all the time.

"Just open up to us oni-chan, everything will work out on its own, you'll see!" Yoh said smiling with that never ending well of optimism. You stretched your hand, I took a deep breath and hesitantly accepted but then I replaced with a smile that said it wouldn't hurt to try. Most of his friends smiled and sighed, nodded and giggled. Seeing how everything does turn out well after all.

"Now let's go inside." Yoh started to lead the way.

"Yay! We're all shivering!" Everyone exclaimed in unison. I could only laugh nervously. We slowly walked and the others followed.

"Time to say hello to the others Hao." Ren stated from behind. I could see the smirk on his face from the corner of my eyes.

"He'll be shocked…" were Ren's thoughts, and I gulped.

"There are more of you guys? More than all of you?" I asked in surprise and shock.

"Lots and lots more, Hao-sama." Matamune calmly stated with a smile.

"Hao-sama!" A familiar young voice called from behind the slide door, and a bright smile lit on my face. Yoh saw it and opened the front door. A small little orange and black haired figure jumped on me, knocking me down. Opacho, I think that big hair of hers has grown even bigger.

"Opacho miss Hao-sama so much! Opacho promise to never leave Hao-sama again! Hao-sama forgives Opacho?" She asked looking up at him as she held onto his T-Shirt.

"And can I say no to those big beautiful eyes of yours? Do you know how much I've missed you Opacho?" I said as I ruffled her already messy hair. She giggled in my arms and held me in a tight hug. Everyone else giggled. Yoh gave me a hand and helped me stand up. Opacho was still hanging on my shoulder, it didn't seem like it was one of her intentions to let go just yet. Then a black dressed man came and stood at the door.

"It's been a while Hao-sama. Glad to see you again." He bowed in respect.

"I missed you too Luchist." I said with a warm smile. I did have a family after all, a small one, but still a family.

"Aaaah! Hao-sama is back!" An orange haired girl was jumping around excitedly at the back.

"Macchi?" I asked in surprise.

"We are all here Hao-sama." Kanna's voice said. Luchist moved away and let us all in. I gasped as I entered the living room. First thing that I just had to notice was, it was very nice and warm. It was full with many decorations, a big Christmas tree, neatly decorated, some presents under it as well. Yoh pushed me inside and told me where to sit. A huge table with all sorts of delicious looking food placed on it. I sat there and you sat next to me. Everyone else sat down as well, one after the other. The Asakuras, the X-Laws, the Taos, Kalim and Silva the two patch priests. Even my old followers…correction…my old friends…were there. The spirits then appeared Matamune, Ohachiyo, Spirit of Fire, and all the other spirits filled the room. I suddenly felt nervous…so many people and I've simply crashed this whole thing. Yoh seemed to sense that I was uncomfortable so he put his hand on my shoulder.

"You're finally here, Hao. We've grown tired from waiting, what took you so long?" Yohmei asked in his old voice as he sat with his arms crossed over his chest. I looked at him confused.

"…Waiting?" I finally asked.

"Yeah. I told grandpa about that dream I had last night. Turned out that both mom and dad had the same dream too. So grandpa's only explanation was that the dream was going to come true!" Yoh explained to me excitedly.

"…and what is that dream?" I asked and slowly looked from Yoh to his mother then to his father. They all looked at me with a small smile.

"That you came on Christmas…" Yoh started.

"And you wished to be a part of the family again…" his father continued.

"And we all accepted you and you came back to your place, as my sweet boy." His mother finished.

"As my son." His father…no…my father said.

"As my Aniki." Said Yoh…my brother. Mother then cupped my face with her hands, her so warm hands…she kissed me on the forehead and I felt tears coming up, but I quickly blinked them away. I smiled at them, all of them, and everybody smiled back…such a wonderful feeling to be accepted. From the corner of my eye I saw Ohachiyo smiling…

"Time for your present, Mappa Douji." He stated.

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that!" Yoh said in semi-panic as he quickly stood up and left.

"I thought you and Matamune were my presents." I said confused.

"Well we are…but there is still one more person left." Said Matamune.

"Actually I have a present for you too Lyserg." Said Yoh as he came back. He stood at one side of the door.

"For me?" Lyserg blinked in surprise.

"Ready Anna?" Yoh called.

"Of course I'm ready." She replied and went to stand at the other side of the door.

"Before you start anything…won't it be better to see who gave the present before opening it?" Ren asked from his place.

"Manta, if you please…" Said Yoh in a funny way…almost as if he was giving us a show. The little boy cleared his throat and started…

"Um well, all the work was done by Anna-san…" He started and waved his hand at Anna, who smiled very proudly.

"But the idea was entirely Yoh's." He finished and Yoh smiled.

"Okay, everyone ready?" Yoh called.

"Alright, Merry Christmas Hao and Lyserg!" He called and three spirits came in floating. I was completely speechless…

"Mom! Dad!" Lyserg jumped up and hugged his parents. He was now in a totally different world while I simply gaped at the blond woman in that familiar flowery off white kimono.

"Mother…" I whispered.

"Hello Asaha…I've surely missed you. How have you been all these years?" She asked as she came closer smiling. Tears were already falling down my face but I couldn't find the voice to say anything. She crouched and hugged me.

"Say thank you to your brother." She whispered in my ear as she pulled away. I looked towards Yoh with a huge smile. He smiled at me too.

"Merry Christmas Hao." He said. I gestured for him to come. Once he sat next to me I searched inside my pocket.

"My present isn't as unique as yours but…when I saw it, it simply reminded me of you." I said with an apologetic smile as I handed him a small neatly wrapped box. He took it and unwrapped it.

"You know…it's the thought that always counts." He said to me with a smile before opening the present. I watched as he took out a small necklace. I thought it was nice…it had a round charm; the charm was divided into two parts by a curve, just like the yin and the yang. One side was a black moon and the other was a silver sun. It also had rays coming out from the sun's side.

"Merry Christmas Otouto. I hope you liked it." I said to him smiling. Then you suddenly hugged me.

"I love it oni-chan! Thank you!" You cried to me happily.

Everyone went to their beds happy and satisfied that night. It was a night filled with laughter. And from that day on we all lived together…all of us…

Thunder: I hope you enjoyed it! And sorry for being late!

Please Review!