Disclaimer: Don't own Merlin characters, BBC does.
N/A: Initially intended to be one-shot, but as always, turned out differently. I'm not sure where this is heading.
I
Gwen stroked her hair gently, whispering comforting words to the panicked woman in her arms. Morgana's nightmares had grown worse in the last days. The sleeping potions seemed totally ineffective.
« Gwen… Those noises were so piercing… And the blood… So much blood. Oh God. »
Gwen didn't ask whose blood it was. Most of Morgana visions were centered on Arthur, especially when he was away.
« Do you want me to fetch Gaius? »
Morgana took a deep breath, and shook her head.
« No… No thanks. But will you stay? Please? »
Gwen nodded and lied down next to her friend, holding her. Morgana was calmer now, and managed a thin smile.
« I wish I could see happier things… »
« Your warnings saved Arthur's life more than once. »
« It didn't stop him to be an idiot and a pompous arse. »
Gwen smiled. Morgana was so prompt to judge him wrong… She sounded like she meant it. Maybe she should think him a conceited idiot, too. But she did not. He was better than that. Sure, the memories of stolen kisses or brushes of hands had paled. Of course, after her disastrous rescue, she had come to realize her heart was not entirely his, finally. And slowly, she had stopped waiting to hear his footsteps in the corridor. His engaging smiles had fallen back into the friend category, instead of making her unable to do anything but smile back. His way of using her full name still pleased her for the respect she heard in his voice, but it didn't quicken her pulse anymore. Oh, he did love her and she loved him too, at least enough to brake the enchantment over Vivian. She loved him but she was not in love with him. And for him she probably was only a fantasy, a forbidden fruit. He had made it clear enough he would not defy his father for her. Her pride jolted at the idea. But her heart didn't arch. Not anymore. Arthur and Guinevere would never have a happy ever after. He was a good man. He deserved to be love without a fault…
« Gwen? What makes you smile like that? »
Her grin brightened.
« Nothing important, my Lady. Try to get some sleep… »
*
When Morgana woke up the following morning, she was alone. She would have like to indulge in bed, but her nerves were so tensed from her restless night she got up quickly. Gwen entered the room only minutes later with her break-fast, and the last gossip from the kitchen.
They chitchatted happily for a while, then Gwen helped her get dressed.
« So, give me the grey one. I want to go for a ride. »
« My Lady… »
« It's alright, Gwen, you don't have to come. I'll just want to short promenade. »
Gwen was not that fond of horses, and her uneasiness had grown worse since the last tournament. Morgana just loved them, on a contrary. They were so quiet, and yet so powerful. The beautiful animals always steadied her. She had her mare saddled. It was a beautiful gray Lippizaner Uther had offered her after the unfortunate episode with the Druids. The light-foot mount would keep her safe, quickly taking her from danger, had he declared. She knew the present was his attempt to smooth her. But she was so enchanting by the magnificent animal, she had thanked him heartily and ignored Arthur heavy look on her back.
The day was bright and crisp. She enjoyed the cool air on her face, hurrying the horse in a fast gallop. Nothing else counted for a few moments that the wind spiralling around her and the incredible feeling of freedom, as she was carried away at light speed. She slowed the pace when the icy sting watered her eyes, short-breathed. The mare seemed unaffected, and whinnied to mark her displeasure to be restricted. Morgana gently stroked the hot neck, settling into a walk to climb the hill. The air was so clear; she could see the high towers of Camelot cutting through the blue sky. The sun was bathing the stony walls, making them almost welcoming. She loved the panel of hard colors Easter always brought, the vivid greens and sapphire blues mixing without interruptions except some ephemeral soft lavender crocus here and there. She liked crocus. The blue of the sky was so intense it was nearly painful to contemplate. Morgana took a deep breath, letting the chilly air into her but it didn't chase the warm bubbling into her stomach. She felt good better than she had in days. Her horse whinnied gently again. It was time to go home. Morgana turned her mount and started headed back.
The town was fizzling with its usual market activities. The courtyard was even busier, and she momentarily regretted the peace of the fields. Morgana dismounted without waiting for the page to help her down, and guided herself the horse to the stables. All the boxes were full. She handed her to the lads with a last caress on the velvet nose and hurried through the back yard to enter the castle.
Sure enough, Merlin was already running around to see his master's got a decent meal and a hot bath. The young man gave her a cheering smile. Morgana took the plates of his hands before he could react:
« Thank you, Merlin, I'll take that. »
And she set off to Arthur's apartments.
« Merlin! It was about time! Gimme a hand will you, I can't find… »
He stopped dead on his tracks when he saw Morgana instead of his faithful servant. Stunned, he looked at her calmly put her holdings on the table. Surely he should have said something when she started walking to him, so graceful and angelic; he could only stare. He smelt of soap and fresh cut-grass. The taste of sea-salt still lingered on his chest. His skin was a little moist from the bath, and hot under her cheek. Arthur managed to articulate, on the verge of embarrassing himself when she tiptoed to kiss his cheek.
« Huh, Morgana… »
She released him, and handed him his clothes, trying very hard not to blush at the sole towel tied around his waist. Arthur quickly retreated behind a shade to dress-up.
« I'm not complaining for the welcoming kiss or anything, but where is Merlin? »
He got no answer. When he looked out, she was gone. Merlin entered the room with the rest of his diner. Women; they ran hot and cold in a blink, one second freezing you into an ice stalactite with a single glance, and the next warming you with promising smiles. Arthur shook his head, and sat to eat, gesturing Merlin to join him. Yes, Morgana had definitely mastered the art of bewildering him.