Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Buffy, and some of the lines in the story are taken from Tabula Rasa.
A/N: This is part 1 of 3. Summary: Another version of events in the episode Tabula Rasa. It was right in front of her, but Willow had to learn the hard way that everything has consequences.
Willow had just the spell. It was perfect, and would help everyone for sure.
She had promised Tara she wouldn't't do anymore spells, at least not for the week. "Dawn told me," She said, a tear dripping down her cheek. "She told me about us fighting. You left that flower under my pillow. 'Lethe's Bramble:'" She quoted, holding her head in her hands. "'for augmenting spells of forgetting and mind control'. You put a spell on me. How could you? What were you thinking?"
"I-I just wanted us to get along, like we used to. I didn't't mean for anything bad to happen." Willow replied, her voice shaking. Tara wasn't supposed to know she put a spell on her. No-one was.
"That's just it," Tara looked up from her hands. "you didn't want anything bad to happen because you didn't want to get into trouble. You just don't realise that it's already happened. Putting that spell on me was bad and wrong. But it's too late to fix it now, you're already in trouble."
"But I made you happy." Willow mumbled quietly.
"No, you made me think I was happy. And that the key word here: made. You can't just make people do things, especially not with magic."
"I didn't make you do anything," Willow cried.
"You made me forget our fight. You made me forget about how I was worried about you. You made everything to your liking…" Tara paused, another tear escaping. "Including me."
"No!" Willow cried again. "I didn't! I just wanted everything to be okay. Like it used to be."
"This is a relationship Will," Tara said, her voice quiet, remembering that they were not alone. "It consists of two people. It needs to work for both people. It can't just go one way. Just because I'm not happy, doesn't mean you can put a spell on me to fix that. If I'm not happy, then we have to find a way together to work it out."
"Okay," Willow said, a flicker of hope in her voice.
"We could have done that, if you had just waited. We could have tried the next day, and maybe worked it out. We could have done it together, but I wasn't aware. But you missed your chance. "
"We can still do it. We could start now," Willow interrupted.
"No, you missed your chance. I-I just…." Taras voice faded. She couldn't believe what she was about to say. "I don't think this is going to work."
"Of course it'll work. It's working."
"No, Willow, just, stop. You have to understand. It's not working anymore."
"Are you saying you going to leave me?" Willow said, her eyes full of tears.
Tara didn't answer.
"What if I…..went a month, without doing a single spell."
Tara looked up, searching Willows face. Was she really going to do this? Was a month too much to start with?
"A week," Tara said, to Willows relief. Willow tried not to show it, but she seriously doubted she could make a month. "Go a week and then we'll see."
"A week," Willow said brightly, "that's easy!"
"I hope you find it easy. Going cold turkey is one of the hardest ways to beat an addiction." Tara said, not looking at Willow.
"I don't have an addiction!" Willow protested.
"You're using magic for everything. Even for the small things that you didn't need to use if for. Like the decorations at Xander and Anyas party. I did say the grocery store was still open-"
"Using something a lot does not make it an addiction. It's just when you're good at it, and when it helps make something easier."
"You're not supposed to use it just because it makes everything easier. And you're not supposed to use it to fix your problems."
Willow couldn't argue with that. She had tried to fix problems with magic.
So, here she was, sitting on her knees, in front of the fireplace, about to cast another spell, to fix another one of her problems. It was so perfect. It was about to fix everything. Why didn't Willow think of it before?
Actually, she had. But, it didn't work out. And that wasn't her fault. That was Dawn. This time, the spell would make everyone forget about her fight with Tara. And, best of all, everyone would forget Buffy was ever in heaven.
Willow went to the cabinet, and pulled out a bag of potpourri. There was a big piece of Lethe's Bramble inside, and that was just what she needed. She placed the Lethe's Bramble in the fireplace, and lit it with a match.
She said the spell, wording it carefully. It had to cover everyone. Willow couldn't afford anymore slip-ups.
There was a crystal in her pocket. A clear one, which was to turn black when the spell had been cast.
Willow headed out the door, but before she closed it, she remembered the bag of potpourri beside the fireplace. She couldn't leave any evidence of the spell around, it was just too dangerous.
She put it safely away, in it's proper place, then headed for the Magic Box.
She decided to take the more scenic route walking slowly, enjoying the crisp air, and the views around her. She hadn't been that ready when Tara and Dawn left. They knew how long she took to get ready in the morning. She might as well take her time.
While walking over the small bridge, Willow took the crystal out of her pocket. It was beginning to turn black at the corners. The spell would be cast in no time at all.
She got to the door of the Magic Box, but before going in, she checked the crystal. It was black as coal. No, blacker than that. And it was shimmery and pretty.
Well, that's magic for you. Always has to be better than the normal way. That's one of the things that attracted Willow to it.