No Need for a Man
By: BlackCorp
Rating: M
Disclaimer: Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are copyright of their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: Tenchi gets a wake up call... literally.
Ryoko: Tenchi, come here, please.
Tenchi: Yes, Ryoko?
Ryoko: I no longer love you, Tenchi
Ayeka: I no longer love you either, Tenchi.
Tenchi: What are you girls talking about?
(Ryoko grabs Ayeka and kisses her deeply as Tenchi looks at both girls in shock)
Ayeka: I love Ryoko.
Ryoko: And I love you as well, Ayeka
Ryoko: In fact, we have no need for you at all, Tenchi
Ayeka: Let's just kill him.
Ryoko: Good idea, my love. No one else is home now, so we can get away with it.
Tenchi: Very funny, girls. I get it. This is a joke, right?
(Ryoko takes out her sword)
Ryoko: This is no joke, boy!
Ayeka: Just stand there like the wimp you are so we can kill you.
Tenchi: Hey, I'm no wimp, you bitch!
Ryoko: Don't talk to her that way. You're either a wimp or you're gay, Tenchi.
Ayeka: Yes, you could have had either of us beautiful sexy girls, but didn't want us.
Tenchi: I'm just a gentlemen is all!
(Both girls laugh as his face turns bright red with anger and frustration)
Ryoko: I bet his real problem is that he has a small sword.
Ayeka: He has no swordsmanship skills. Have you seen him fight?
Tenchi: I have saved both of you a number of times!
Ayeka: Those times were just flukes!
Ryoko: Imagine this wimp named after a powerful weapon like that!
Ayeka: You mean this sword?
(Ayeka holds up the sword Tenchi)
Tenchi: Where did you get that, you thief!
Ayeka: You have no right to it!
Tenchi: It belongs to me, you stuck up bitch!
(Ryoko kicks Tenchi's feet out from under him and puts her foot on his chest when he hits the ground)
Ryoko: Would you like to kill him, my dear?
Ayeka: Let's do it together, my love.
Tenchi: Get off me, you bitch!
(Ryoko grabs Ayeka and wraps her arms around the other girl)
Ayeka: I love you, Ryoko.
Ryoko: And I love you, Ayeka.
Tenchi: Why are you girls doing this?
Both girls: Because we have no need for a man.
(Ayeka turns on the sword Tenchi and both girls wrap their hands around it and kiss passionetly as they drive the sword down towards Tenchi's chest)
Tenchi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Cut to a split screen of Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka all waking up in their bedrooms)
Tenchi: What a nightmare!
Ayeka: Wow, what a dream!
Ryoko: That was some dream!
(With that, both Ryoko and Ayeka both go back to sleep with smiles on their faces as Tenchi sits up in bed bed a cold sweat pouring down his face)