Author's note: This was written with the help of my cousin, Orange~Bear. She wrote the first part, I wrote the second. Now, if you have played Master Chef, there are some things you should know about our version of events... Firstly, Hopper and Lisa are evil and abusive. This is practically canon, what with Hopper gleefully threatening to turn everyone back, pretty much killing them, or at least rendering them unconscious. Secondly, Hopper is a boy. I'm not sure where this came from, but we decided that he seems really masculine. Or something. Thirdly, Emily and Johnny are tragic star-crossed lovers. Come on; they hug! Fourthly, Kevin is a pedophile. Duh. Fifthly, Anna is a drug dealer, who sells "cake powder" to Rachel to put in food. Also, Lisa is mildly retarded. This first chapter is just sort of stream-of-consciousness, to set the scene. The others will have more of a plot.
Enjoy!

-Emily POV-

Today is Lisa's last day of Summer. Thank god, I was getting constant migraines from her whining around the house all day. The little bitch just moans about her boy problems and how much her life sucks. I mean really. Lisa gets everyone (granted, that includes the creeps, too). She's somehow viewed as 'cute' by the guys. Of course, there's only one guy who doesn't love her. He is the frikkin' bane of my existence. And he just so happens to be the one guy she likes. Oh, yeah, and he's a cross-dressing megalomaniacal crazy rabbit named Hopper (ooh, so malicious sounding), too. Ever since he came along, Lisa has been even more of a jerkoff than she normally is, trying to impress him by being evil herself. Of course, he's only got his eyes on one girl. One miserable, lonely girl, who happens to think he's a total douchebag. Yup. Me. And this poses the obvious problem of Lisa hating me even more than ever. Any time she sees Hopper glancing my way, she whispers to him something like, "She's a freak, trust me." And when he's not looking she'll flip me off.

Why can't she just… die? Why can't they all die? The only purpose they serve in life is to be jerks. … And to make a few innocent stuffed animals totally miserable.

Two in particular. One of those two is me, (obviously). And the other is my sole reason for waking up every morning. He is amazing beyond words. Just being in the room with him makes you feel warmer is the love of my life.

Johnathon R. Timbalt, Johnny for short. You have no idea how much he means to me. And what absolutely kills me is this; he never, ever, not even once, has said, "I love you." As if he isn't sure. I've been sure since the very start. It makes me feel like… like Lisa. A whiny, needy little doll who only thinks of herself and her man. I'm not like her! Or am I? Someone once told me that you see your own faults in others. It makes me feel sick to my stomach every time I compare myself to her. We're not the same… are we?

-Johnny POV-

Every day that I wake up is the same. Relentless abuse. From the very first day arriving here, when Lisa spat in my face, disgusted by my appearance, she and her little rabbity minion (or is it the other way around?) have been dead-set on making my life as awful as possible, a living Hell.

Sending me on dangerous missions where, if I don't have to dodge countless thrown heavy objects, I get snapped at by ferocious dogs, and all to steal some stupid kitchen utensils. Heavens above! Buy them at the store, rather than resorting to the illegality of thievery!

I can't take it. I just can't. I want to be good. I want to be nice. I want to be as kind and loyal as I can, but I just can't. I hate them. I hate them with a passion I have never felt before. They are cruel, deluded, vain things. It seems I've committed two horrendous crimes: being made a Frogge, and being loved by the one that Hopper cannot, and shall not have. Emily…

She is my angel amid this fire and brimstone. She is my savior, with her halo of golden hair atop her porcelain skin. She is like the most beautiful star: perfect, and yet unreachable. I am afraid. I am so afraid, and it shakes me to my very core. I wish I were more like her. She is brave and fiery, and stands up against Lisa and Hopper, David against Goliath. Her words are like fire, scorching her foes and warming me to my very core. She is a torch, but I am nothing more than slime, snivelling in the mud before my masters. I sicken myself. I want to speak up against them, but I am so terrified. Emily must think me a fool. I am, and a coward at that. Oh, how I wish to proclaim my love to her! But, alas, I cannot. I am pathetic.