Second Chances, and then some
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of BTVS. They are owned by whoever owns them. I do not claim responsibility. However, when I am bored and lonely, I take them to my little sandbox and make them play with me. It is all for fun. And all that legal stuff.
Notes: For anyone who might care or think less of me, I do not have anything against Tara or homosexuality. In fact, I think it is wonderful. However, in this story, I choose to have Willow end up with Oz rather than just some random girl who I made up because Tara was dead and Willow is gay. Please do not think that I am a closed minded homophobic, but I wanted to go with someone for whom there was previous interest. Thank you for not judging me.
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I sighed into the wind. It was a cold day, colder than it had been in a long time. My breath rising in the winter air was as icy and opaque as the clouds high in the frozen blue sky looked. I felt brittle and cold, like the icicles that frosted the building in front of me. For the thousandth time, I wished that I were back in California, the place that had been my home.
They'd all told me I shouldn't have gone away, that I should have never left. They just didn't understand that I had had to. After everything had happened: my magick addiction, Tara's death, and my insanity, I'd needed to get away. I'd needed to run, to be alone, like Buffy, like Oz.
It's strange that I keep thinking about Oz. Or maybe it wasn't. After all, I had packed up and left everyone, much like he had. Just like he did, I just left, didn't tell anyone where I was going. I think I understand now why he did it.
And it really has been helpful. After all, I'm doing okay now. I've gotten over my addiction. I can now look at a magick shop and not want to die, like I did before. And while I don't think I'll ever be over Tara's death, I can now look at her pictures without crying. too much.
It was almost as if I'd been cured. Almost. There were still those nights that I'd dream of Tara, feel her lying beside me, known that everything was fine. And then I'd wake up. The saddest part of it all was remembering where I was, why I was here. Those were the times I was not cured. Those were the times I wanted to die.
I looked around me. The tall New York buildings glared down at me, angry. Even the buildings here seemed angry, like the people. I often wondered what was so awful about New York that not only its people, but even its buildings were irate. For the first time since I'd come here, the place looked alien. I felt as if I was in a dream where I'd been put in a place where I didn't belong, and I didn't know where I was. Either that or I'd been abducted in the night and was waking up in a place where I didn't know anyone or anything and. I laughed at my thoughts. I hadn't rambled like that, even in my mind, for a very long time. I was almost grateful for it.
It was finally proof that I was alive again. Because, even though I felt healed, I still felt like Buffy had when we were all in a musical. I had nothing to sing about, be happy about, live for. For the first time since I'd left, I felt like I really had made the wrong decision in leaving. Maybe it was time to go back.
Resolute in my determination to go home to good old Sunnydale, I walked into the building I had been standing in front of. The first thing that always hit me when I walked in here was the acrid smell of the coffee. Sharon, one of the assistants, always kept some badly brewed coffee in the lounge, and it was so strong that one had no choice in smelling it, almost tasting it, all day. I smiled a bit. With any luck, this might be the beginning of the end for my relationship with the coffee. I smiled and greeted Sharon as I walked towards my office. She didn't say anything back, but she never had before, so I hadn't expected her to.
I walked past the desk where my secretary would be sitting in a few hours when she came in. Just past the desk was my office. It was a nice office, but it had never really been mine. I had worked in it for about a year, and I still couldn't think of the place as mine. I had no pictures, no personal things, nothing. I could have if I'd wanted to, but I'd always thought of this job as just a place to be until I decided it was time to go back to Sunnydale.
I checked my voicemail. Satisfied that there were no important things I needed to address right away, I walked to the corner office that belonged to my boss. It was still too early for his personal secretary to be there, so I just knocked on the door. I was unsurprised when I heard his voice call for me to just come in. He was rarely away from his office. He was a workaholic, and it was a useful thing. Sometimes.
As I stepped into the impressive office, he looked at me, surprised.
"Rosenburg! Just the person I wanted to see. I wanted to tell you, great job with the Johnson thing last week. They called yesterday with a glowing review. I'm sorry that you had to do the thing so last minute, but I'm really grateful that you could manage it. But I can see that you have something important to talk to me about, so I'll just let you do it. What can I do for you?" He laced his fingers behind his head, leaning back in his chair.
"Well, Mr. Mako, I've been working here for just about a year, right?" He nodded, grinning broadly. "Well, I guess that means that the contract that we drew up when I started is just about done. I said that I'd work for a year, then go on with."
He waved his big hand dismisively. "Don't you worry about that. I know that we only signed you for a year, but I think that you have proven that you are good enough at what you do that we can keep you on for a longer time. Maybe we can start work on a new contract, one that will give you a few more years, as many as you will agree to, as a matter of fact." He grinned broadly, thinking he had answered my prayers.
"Actually, Mr. Mako, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, I have been here for a year, and while I do enjoy working here and the work I do, it's time for me to return to my home. I belong on the other coast, not here. I'm sorry to do this to you, but as my contract ends in three days, that is when I will be leaving to return home." As I went along with the speech I had rehearsed in my head, my boss's face fell.
"Are you sure? You could have a place in this business forever, you know. In fact, if you wanted, we could probably swing it so that you could be a junior partner. How would you like that?" I smiled, shaking my head.
"Sorry, sir, but my mind is set. I can't stay here any longer. I need to go back to California. I have done what I wanted to do, and now it's time for me to go back to where I need to be. I can finish the project I'm working on now before I go, but after that, I'm done for good."
My boss looked sad. "Are you sure that nothing I can say will convince you to stay?" I nodded. "Fine, then. After your contract ends, I won't try to make you sign another one. I just wish you'd change your mind. You have made a wonderful contribution to this company, and I really would like to see you here to stay." I smiled and shook my head, not saying anything.
"Okay, then, I'll see you around. Get to work." He waved me out the door, and I left gratefully. As much as this was a good job and I enjoyed what I did (which was computer programming) I really did wish I didn't have to deal with this annoying man anymore. Sure he seemed nice, but he was almost a one-dimensional person. He seemed to have no personality at all, which was okay, but not much fun.
I was practically singing when I went back to my office. I only had a few days left. And then I got to go back home. I only hoped that my friends would forgive me for leaving.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Well, that's all for now. I promise it will get better when I write more. That may be tonight, it may not. I just wanted to break it up some so I don't end up going page after page and anyway, I digress. That's the beginning. I would appreciate any reviews, but my self-confidence is delicate, so please be kind. But please do tell me if this sucked.
Thank you for reading! -Aradia
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of BTVS. They are owned by whoever owns them. I do not claim responsibility. However, when I am bored and lonely, I take them to my little sandbox and make them play with me. It is all for fun. And all that legal stuff.
Notes: For anyone who might care or think less of me, I do not have anything against Tara or homosexuality. In fact, I think it is wonderful. However, in this story, I choose to have Willow end up with Oz rather than just some random girl who I made up because Tara was dead and Willow is gay. Please do not think that I am a closed minded homophobic, but I wanted to go with someone for whom there was previous interest. Thank you for not judging me.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
I sighed into the wind. It was a cold day, colder than it had been in a long time. My breath rising in the winter air was as icy and opaque as the clouds high in the frozen blue sky looked. I felt brittle and cold, like the icicles that frosted the building in front of me. For the thousandth time, I wished that I were back in California, the place that had been my home.
They'd all told me I shouldn't have gone away, that I should have never left. They just didn't understand that I had had to. After everything had happened: my magick addiction, Tara's death, and my insanity, I'd needed to get away. I'd needed to run, to be alone, like Buffy, like Oz.
It's strange that I keep thinking about Oz. Or maybe it wasn't. After all, I had packed up and left everyone, much like he had. Just like he did, I just left, didn't tell anyone where I was going. I think I understand now why he did it.
And it really has been helpful. After all, I'm doing okay now. I've gotten over my addiction. I can now look at a magick shop and not want to die, like I did before. And while I don't think I'll ever be over Tara's death, I can now look at her pictures without crying. too much.
It was almost as if I'd been cured. Almost. There were still those nights that I'd dream of Tara, feel her lying beside me, known that everything was fine. And then I'd wake up. The saddest part of it all was remembering where I was, why I was here. Those were the times I was not cured. Those were the times I wanted to die.
I looked around me. The tall New York buildings glared down at me, angry. Even the buildings here seemed angry, like the people. I often wondered what was so awful about New York that not only its people, but even its buildings were irate. For the first time since I'd come here, the place looked alien. I felt as if I was in a dream where I'd been put in a place where I didn't belong, and I didn't know where I was. Either that or I'd been abducted in the night and was waking up in a place where I didn't know anyone or anything and. I laughed at my thoughts. I hadn't rambled like that, even in my mind, for a very long time. I was almost grateful for it.
It was finally proof that I was alive again. Because, even though I felt healed, I still felt like Buffy had when we were all in a musical. I had nothing to sing about, be happy about, live for. For the first time since I'd left, I felt like I really had made the wrong decision in leaving. Maybe it was time to go back.
Resolute in my determination to go home to good old Sunnydale, I walked into the building I had been standing in front of. The first thing that always hit me when I walked in here was the acrid smell of the coffee. Sharon, one of the assistants, always kept some badly brewed coffee in the lounge, and it was so strong that one had no choice in smelling it, almost tasting it, all day. I smiled a bit. With any luck, this might be the beginning of the end for my relationship with the coffee. I smiled and greeted Sharon as I walked towards my office. She didn't say anything back, but she never had before, so I hadn't expected her to.
I walked past the desk where my secretary would be sitting in a few hours when she came in. Just past the desk was my office. It was a nice office, but it had never really been mine. I had worked in it for about a year, and I still couldn't think of the place as mine. I had no pictures, no personal things, nothing. I could have if I'd wanted to, but I'd always thought of this job as just a place to be until I decided it was time to go back to Sunnydale.
I checked my voicemail. Satisfied that there were no important things I needed to address right away, I walked to the corner office that belonged to my boss. It was still too early for his personal secretary to be there, so I just knocked on the door. I was unsurprised when I heard his voice call for me to just come in. He was rarely away from his office. He was a workaholic, and it was a useful thing. Sometimes.
As I stepped into the impressive office, he looked at me, surprised.
"Rosenburg! Just the person I wanted to see. I wanted to tell you, great job with the Johnson thing last week. They called yesterday with a glowing review. I'm sorry that you had to do the thing so last minute, but I'm really grateful that you could manage it. But I can see that you have something important to talk to me about, so I'll just let you do it. What can I do for you?" He laced his fingers behind his head, leaning back in his chair.
"Well, Mr. Mako, I've been working here for just about a year, right?" He nodded, grinning broadly. "Well, I guess that means that the contract that we drew up when I started is just about done. I said that I'd work for a year, then go on with."
He waved his big hand dismisively. "Don't you worry about that. I know that we only signed you for a year, but I think that you have proven that you are good enough at what you do that we can keep you on for a longer time. Maybe we can start work on a new contract, one that will give you a few more years, as many as you will agree to, as a matter of fact." He grinned broadly, thinking he had answered my prayers.
"Actually, Mr. Mako, that's not what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, I have been here for a year, and while I do enjoy working here and the work I do, it's time for me to return to my home. I belong on the other coast, not here. I'm sorry to do this to you, but as my contract ends in three days, that is when I will be leaving to return home." As I went along with the speech I had rehearsed in my head, my boss's face fell.
"Are you sure? You could have a place in this business forever, you know. In fact, if you wanted, we could probably swing it so that you could be a junior partner. How would you like that?" I smiled, shaking my head.
"Sorry, sir, but my mind is set. I can't stay here any longer. I need to go back to California. I have done what I wanted to do, and now it's time for me to go back to where I need to be. I can finish the project I'm working on now before I go, but after that, I'm done for good."
My boss looked sad. "Are you sure that nothing I can say will convince you to stay?" I nodded. "Fine, then. After your contract ends, I won't try to make you sign another one. I just wish you'd change your mind. You have made a wonderful contribution to this company, and I really would like to see you here to stay." I smiled and shook my head, not saying anything.
"Okay, then, I'll see you around. Get to work." He waved me out the door, and I left gratefully. As much as this was a good job and I enjoyed what I did (which was computer programming) I really did wish I didn't have to deal with this annoying man anymore. Sure he seemed nice, but he was almost a one-dimensional person. He seemed to have no personality at all, which was okay, but not much fun.
I was practically singing when I went back to my office. I only had a few days left. And then I got to go back home. I only hoped that my friends would forgive me for leaving.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~ ~*~
Well, that's all for now. I promise it will get better when I write more. That may be tonight, it may not. I just wanted to break it up some so I don't end up going page after page and anyway, I digress. That's the beginning. I would appreciate any reviews, but my self-confidence is delicate, so please be kind. But please do tell me if this sucked.
Thank you for reading! -Aradia