Everybody's got a dark side. Do you love me? Can you love mine?
Sebastian has always been a badass, though never as at that moment it was such a burden. He felt that that was the barrier that prevented him from releasing himself and tell that awesome person his feelings.
He could define it "protection instinct".
For himself, of course.
He's never opened himself with anyone, especially not with his classmates. The only person he trusted was his best friend. Her name was Ariel: her parents chose the name because of her red hair and the mother's love for Disney.
She had ice blue eyes, rosy and full lips and nose and cheeks covered in adorable freckles. She was all ginger, she never stood still: in short, a real force of nature.
She was kind of the opposite of Sebastian: he was bitchy, calm, meditative; especially bitchy. She was kind, lively, impulsive and impatient.
Perhaps that was why they became friends just from the very beginning, on the day they met for the first time.
They were at the playground, with their nannies, and they bumped into each other while playing. Sebastian had started to scream against the poor child, who, instead of crying as all the kids would do, offered her hand and introduced herself.
- Hi! My name is Ariel. Who are you?
The child stopped shouting and looked at the little girl's hand up and down, which was brutally ignored.
- I can't see how it could be interesting for you. However, my name is Sebastian.
He turned around and started to leave, going back to his nanny, but the little girl didn't give up. She saw a special light in that arrogant boy's eyes, which she certainly wouldn't let slip away.
-Oh – she opened her eyes wide, looking at him stunned – like The little mermaid! I'm Ariel and you're Sebastian the crab.
- I don't know what you're talking about, never heard of this….thing.
At these words, Ariel was horrified. How could a child have never seen the Disney's movies?
- What? – she shouted, to support her thoughts – That's not possible! We must make up for that!
Saying this, she run to her babysitter, whispering something to her ear. The woman nodded and stood up from the bench.
Meanwhile Sebastian was looking at them and got a bit curious about it, wondering what the hell was going on, but happy for having managed to get rid of the annoying girl. But he was wrong. His doubts were promptly deleted when he saw them head towards his nanny. He got closer too, but at this point it was too late, he lost the most important part of their conversation, having the time just to hear an "Okay" from his nanny.
- Nounou Danielle… qu'est-ce qui ce passe?* - asked curious and a little scared the little Sebastian, in a perfect French accent.
- Maintenant nous allons dans un place très beau. Tu viens?
- Où nous allons?
- Chez cette adorable petite fille. Elle dit qu'elle doit te montrer une chose magnifique et que c'est une question de vie ou de mort. – the nanny laughs explaining the situation.
- Mais je ne veux pas aller chez elle! Je ne la connais pas!
- Allez, ça sera amusant! En plus tu pourrais ainsi la connaître, ce n'est pas vrai?
She took his hand and together they followed Ariel and the other nanny towards the little girl's home.
Therefore he spent the whole afternoon watching Disney cartoons with Ariel and talking to her.
This is how they became friends.
Looking in his beloved person's eyes was hurting him. But not only figuratively. With his black eye, Sebastian was lucky even just to be able to keep it open.
He avoided thus his gaze and directed his to Ariel, instead, who went to the first aid with them.
Luckily it was nothing serious, or at least so the doctors were telling. However he had a rough moment, because he also lost consciousness.
The boy took comfort a bit thinking that he wasn't in the worst conditions: Josh' eyes were both black, he had a cut lip and his nose was almost broken. Not to mention the several injuries and bruises all over his body: Smythe not fared badly when it came to blows.
Particularly when people touched something, or better someone, that he considered as his. This attribute, impulsiveness, was probably taken after the redhead girl, after all that time spent together.
Sitting on the bed, he held with one hand some ice on the left eye, while the other hand was clutching his friend's. With the good eye he was staring at the ground, feeling guilty.
In fact, he was right to feel guilty. During the fight, he unintentionally punched the cheekbone, now reddened and a bit swollen, of poor Thad Harwood, who only intruded in order to separate the two fire-eaters.
Well, he felt compelled to assist, because he was the object of the tangle: yes, Sebastian started, or better, as he preferred to say, reacted to, that fight only because of him. Just because Josh was flirting with him.
It was Sebastian who suggested Thad going out that night. –As friends.- he promptly worried to add.
They weren't properly friends, but at least Sebastian didn't mock Harwood as he was used to doing with any other. You can say that he was less bitchy with him, but he justified the fact asserting that, being his roommate, they should learn how to live together peacefully, so he behaved himself.
The truth is, there was another reason. Probably Thad would never imagine it, but Smythe was damn into him. The only problem was that he had difficulty in admitting it, even to himself. Ariel was the one who lead him to that, uncomfortable but at the same time pleasant, truth.
And he still couldn't believe it.
But as soon as he saw Thad being approached, "Moreover with a terrible technique.." he thought, he was blind with anger. He flung his arm around Jamie's, John's, Josh' or whatever-that-louse's-damned-name-is neck, so as to keep him away from Harwood or just from the idea flirting with him.
Of course these situations are known not to end well. In fact, the three of them were kicked out the club and the brawl went on outside. In the meantime, Sebastian's phone had fallen out of his pocket: it had been collected by Thad, who phoned Ariel, the only person able to make his roommate think rationally.
Before the girl's arrival however, he had to stop both of them from wrangling over. He grabbed Sebastian's arms and blocked them behind his back, while Josh was still lying on the ground and trying to stand up, but unsuccessfully.
Smythe seemed to calm down at his touch, because he stopped and tried to sit on the ground, with Harwood's help. He had just sat down when he passed out, worn out by that physic, but above all mental, effort.
At that moment a car arrived, from which got out Ariel. She immediately ran to the rescue of his friend and with Thad waited for the ambulance, promptly called.
While they were going to the first aid, Seb and Josh by ambulance and Ariel and Thad on her car, Harwood remained silent. His brain was handling too much information at the same time.
Josh trying to pick him up, Sebastian jumping up at him and three words that Smythe said distinctly before "attacking": - .MINE. -
He couldn't believe it, despite the memory was crystal clear in his mind. Ariel, who knew the facts only by what she had been told by his best friend (that is, he was in love with Thad and that he would have him all for himself, but he didn't know how to behave with him), was keeping an eye on the other, feeling a bit worried. Harwood was told to be a big chatterbox and she couldn't understand his odd and unusual silence.
But she didn't dare ask anything. She knew, from her experience, that he should be the one who had to bring up the subject. However they didn't hobnob, so she didn't feel like broaching a discussion about his best friend.
Eventually Thad started talking while they were in the waiting room.
- Why?
This simple question coming from his lips broke the silence between the two of them.
- Maybe I'm not the most appropriate person to be asked, am I wrong? - asked gently the girl. She simply added – And you? - to screw up with Thad's mind.
"Indeed…and I?" wondered the boy. Thad wasn't stupid at all and Sebastian's action spoke for itself. Now it was up to him.
Sebastian didn't imagine to see Ariel too, ready to wait for his awakening. He was wondering who called her, but the answer was right in front of his eyes: Thad.
That boy didn't stop to amaze him. He thought he knew him, but then he floored him doing something unexpected. Like at that moment.
Ariel was sitting next to the bed and let his best friend hold her hand. Harwood was sitting, at the opposite side of the room, instead, but couldn't get his eyes off of Sebastian, like he was trying to read through his friend. His gaze, that's what Smythe was trying in all the ways to avoid.
Fear. Fear of rejection. Here is what was really frightening Sebastian.
At that moment a nurse came in and communicated his immediate discharge, and thus he could go back home, at the Dalton academy.
Out of that horrible place and made sure of Josh' conditions (luckily he was fine, but he was kept in for the night), the three guys headed to Ariel's car. They got in and went back to Scandals, in order to get back Smythe's car.
During the way, silence could be cut with a knife. In fact, the situation was a bit creepy. And weird, especially weird. The only sound was the noise of the engine.
Once they arrived outside the pub, they all got out of the car and the boys greeted Ariel, who, before leaving headed to her school, took Sebastian aside and whispered to him: -Do the right thing.
Four words that convinced him he should do something, but unfortunately he didn't know if he would have the guts.
Then the girl just left, leaving them alone.
Thad and Sebastian glanced at each other embarrassed, looking down without saying a word. They headed towards the car and Smythe was going to get in the driver's side, but Harwood run ahead him.
- Sebastian, you wouldn't believe that I'll let you drive after you fainted!
Smythe tried to complain, but he decided to give up and sit on the passenger side. The way had been a torture: neither of them said a word and awkwardness reached the peak. But no one dared to break the silence between them, especially in order to avoid "forbidden" subjects, such as "us" and "Seb's outburst of jealousy".
The funny fact was that they didn't even dare to look each other face-to-face: Thad was staring at the road and occasionally checking the rear-view mirror; Sebastian was watching the landscape outside his side window, instead. He was almost afraid to look Thad in the eyes, he didn't know what he could see inside: anger, disappointment, or even worst, unfeelingness.
Thad knew that he should start telling that he had understood, that Sebastian didn't have to pretend anymore, but simply be himself. Particularly with him.
With him, who had been loving him for months, since they met. With him, who had fallen in love with such a bitchy person but at the same time so beautiful. He knew that behind his shield Smythe was an amazing person, characteristic that, for some reason, he had decided to keep hidden.
Harwood that split second decided he wanted to discover everything about Sebastian, even his dark side. Without being spotted, he glanced at the other, and for these few seconds, his decision became final.
Sitting on the bed in his room, Sebastian was thinking.
He was thinking of himself.
He was thinking of Thad
He was thinking of a possible "them".
He was thinking about the fact that even if he had feeling for Thad, by now denying it was useless, the other never could have feelings for him, except for anger. His character was speaking for him.
He was scared, a lot. Thad was maybe the most wonderful thing that happened in his life, together with his best friend Ariel. He didn't want to lose that minimum relationship they had just to feel inevitably rejected.
To be honest, he wasn't sure about it.
But it was also true that Harwood had never made him believe the opposite. Sure, Sebastian had caught the friend staring at him several times and direct his gaze elsewhere immediately after. But that didn't mean anything. Being roommates, spending a lot of time together was typical.
As the time passed by, Sebastian learned to tolerate Thad and his accuracy, sometimes over the top, almost to be pettiness; just like Harwood learned to let Sebastian's sarcastic jokes glide away, sometimes finding them also hilarious.
They learned to care about each other, accepting strengths and weaknesses, appreciating the little things.
But it was not always all roses. Of course, being roomates, disputes had decreased more and more. It only happened when one of them was upset about something else; usually what the other did was just the last straw.
Their housmates now got used to hearing them shouting and, as the time passed by, they started to pay less attention to it.
Their room was their world, their shelter. There they had found a friend in the other. Or maybe, something more…
Thad went out of the bathroom, after having taken a shower, with the awareness that he couldn't escape forever from that chat, of which they both were enormously in need.
Sebastian was exactly where he left him, on his bed. He didn't even turned to see him when he passed nearby/next to him. He had a blank expression, like he was thinking about something, or someone.
- Thad?- Sebastian asked hesitating almost whispering. His look was still lost somewhere .
- Yes?
- I think we should talk…
- A-about what?
- Oh, don't act likeyou don't know what I am talking about. – eventually he looked at him – I know you know. – he said, while a little shy smile appeared on his face.
Thad blushed, even more when the other invited him to sit on the bed next to him. He did as he'd been asked.
He looked at him, as to ask "Are you sure?"; Sebastian simply nodded, cracking a smile.
- We have to talk, Thad…
- You said that already, Seb.
- Shut up, Harwood. I was trying to convince myself, avoiding to run away from problems as usual. So, if you want this matter to be solved, you had better lend me a helping hand.
- O-okay. But…what matter?
Sebastian hesitated before answering. – Us…
Thad freezed hearing that simple syllable, which meant a lot for him.
- That won't be easy to tell…so please don't interrupt me. Let me finish first.
- It's fine, Seb. As you want.
- Well, the fact is… I'm in love, Thad. With you. I've been in love with you for a while, to tell you the truth. If we want to be accurate, it has been exactly seven months, four days, six hours and twenty minutes. You entered that door – he pointed at the door of their room - seven months, four days, six hours and thirty minutes ago. But I've been so silly, so coward that I didn't have the guts to tell you immediately, risking to lose you, like what was about to happen tonight. And if you…if you maybe feel something for me, well, you should know that we won't waste our time together anymore, even though with you time is never wasted. I know that it isn't easy to put up with me, because of my character, my dark side, but if you could overcome that obstacle… you'll make me a really happy guy. Probably the happiest in the world.
I love every little thing about you: your eyes; your amazing smile; your babble in your sleep; your voice, when you talk and when you sing; your endless showers in the evening; your scent; your sweetness; your shyness, when you blush and your cheeks turn red; your backside (I mean, it's perfect); your almost obsessive search for perfection in everything you do…
Thad, you are perfect… Perfect to me. And I…I love you. -
Harwood's eyes were glassy: no one had ever told him something like that, no one had ever been so sweet and romantic with him. And who could imagine that that person will have been Smythe himself!
He swept away a lonely teardrop with the back of his hand, and then he dashed on Sebastian and give him one of his famous hugs. But that was special: it was only for him, full of love and tenderness.
He hid his face in Seb's cave of the neck and began to sob.
Sebastian was frightened. Well, he expected a slightly different reaction. He didn't know well what, but he surely wasn't prepared for that.
- Har-Harwood? What the hell is going on with you? Why are you crying? Did I do something wrong?
- No, no, no, no, no, Sebastian. How stupid can you be?
- Ehy! Don't insult me. I left "Seb the badass" aside and all I earn are tears and insults?
- You are stupid because you didn't understand that these are tears of joy!
- R-really?
- Yes, really. I love you too, Seb.
- In this case, there's just one thing to do…
Seeing that Smythe was decided not to continue, Thad asked.
- …that is?
- …that is… Thad Harwood, it may seem strange that I myself am asking something like that, but…can I have the great honor to became your boyfriend?
Thad looked at him for a while, an endless time in Sebastian's view, until he whispered a simple word: two letters, one syllable, a sound that would have changed their life forever.
- Yes.
*Translation from French
-Nanny Danielle… what's going on?-
-Now we're going in a really pretty place. You come?-
-Where are we going?-
-At this adorable baby's house. She told me she want to show you an amazing thing and it's a dead or alive matter.-
-But I don't wanna go to her place! I don't know her!-
-C'mon, it will be funny! Besides you could know her in this way, couldn't you?-