Author's Note: So most of you know this already but just in case, CLAMP did a set of tarot cards in which they replaced traditional depictions of the "characters" in the deck with characters from X, maintaining (if you look very closely at the cards, it's impressive how well in fact) many symbolic elements. In that deck, Aoki is 5: The Hierophant and Karen is 11: Justice. There is a lot more meaning and story behind each of those cards and honestly, I just kind of like reading up on various interpretations of them both so I would recommend researching it sometime. XD But what is important to know for this fic I've provided below.
(Aoki) The Hierophant: A hierophant is a priest/wise man, but in a very earthly, practical way (as opposed to Hinoto's card, The Priestess, which is more divine). This is mentioned later, but according to what I found, the word originated from Ancient Greek, the words "ta hiera" (the holy) and "phainein" (to show).
(Karen) Justice: Justice personified is often blindfolded, to prevent bias (this I don't know if it's common in tarot cards; I'm referring to representations of "Lady Justice" that I have seen in various legal institutes and things like that). In the cards, she holds a sword and a scale, the idea being that she knows how to keep things fair (the scales representing balance) and will enforce it (thus the sword). Just to draw attention to this, did anyone else catch that the scales in the picture with Karen as Justice hold a feather and a flame? I can't decide what CLAMP meant to symbolize with that, but my own interpretation was that it had to do with heaven and hell.
Ironically, I don't feel I have done this concept justice, but I wanted to explore a little bit of the psychology behind Karen's attraction to Aoki and this sort of… developed. ^^; Enjoy I hope. XD
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She blindly walks the line between the physical and the spiritual, knowing well that there are pleasures to be had from the body and there is ecstasy to be found in divinity. She holds a golden scale and carefully measures every step taken down every path she follows. It is what she has always done and what she will always do.
This holds true even when she meets him; her heart does not skip a beat, for no beats should be skipped, yet she knows the draw of attraction.
Duality is in her nature, ingrained with an unyielding sense of equality, and so, in perfectly equal and opposite parts, she is mother and daughter. The daughter in her yearns for the father so long absent and the Father so deeply influential while the mother in her senses a constant (and she does love consistency) husband as well as a provider for her own long-awaited offspring.
He does not follow the same religion as she yet the spirituality is the same. He is not a "father" but a priest nonetheless and a deep part of her recognizes this so, fueled by memory and fundamental desire entwined with her nature, is aroused. The child in her sees warmth and guidance backed by an earthly wisdom and sometimes secretly wishes to simply be told which is right and which is wrong. The mother has already accepted her own role as guide and appreciates the pragmatism behind his sturdy spectacles and knows that the unbiased kindness which he shows to others is a skill she would wish for her own children to develop.
His rejection of bias in particular piques her interest, ever since that day he walked into her workplace to hear and tell her story with a kind of rare absolute truthfulness. Justice should not be a priceless amenity, but a right offered to all, he felt. He never said it, never had to, never even thought to. It was so deeply ingrained in him that he approached all life with the assumption that this was an unspoken fact to be upheld in all of one's actions, or at the very least in his.
Phainein. "To show". She may be blindfolded, but she is far from unaware and she knows very well what does and does not belong to her and what can and cannot be hers. She watches him lift his little girl into the air with a broad smile that she does not dare trespass upon.
Ta hiera. "The holy". She has known the holy. She has known it since her mother's death. She knows about hell as well; a child does not forget physical or mental torment simply because it lies dormant in an adult's heart and for that she keeps her chin up. But she knows about forgiveness and acceptance too and for that she bows her head and clasps her hands.
She does not share all of her secrets, nor does she hide them. If he were to ever ask, he would know.
Perhaps it is wisdom on his part, a silent acknowledgement that there are things there that might have been yet will not be and no words to change this that keeps him from asking.
Or perhaps he is merely oblivious to her distant devotion.
She weighs both options carefully and finds them equally possible.
So, bound by forces beyond herself, she keeps her silence and watches from a distance just as she has always done and will always do.