-HEAD CANON SERIES-
Set after Never Have I Ever and Annoyed.
I wrote this before Annoyed and then adjusted a few things here and there to let the two stories flow together. If something's unclear or choppy, let me know.
I'm posting this immediately after Annoyed because I want it out before episode 16.
I'm going for a bit of angst here...and fluff. And trying to build some sort of storyline for the this series. Remember when I said that I had a few angsty prompts in mind? Here's the first one.
Hope you guys like it..
The Prompt was #35- Fever.
Thanks to my Beta StarryDreamer01 who helped me edit this.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AGENTS OF SHIELD.
When Fitz knocked on Simmons' door that morning at eight o'clock and didn't get an answer, he wasn't concerned.
They had had a late night in the lab, working on different projects. He had been calibrating the Night-Night gun on new accuracy levels and was working on creating a smaller and lighter model, something that Jemma and Skye could carry easily.
Jemma, on the other hand, was studying the vaporized, airborne dendrotoxin and looking for something that could be used to annihilate its instant paralysing effect.
Their encounter with Cybertech and Ian Quinn and the mission to the hidden facility to find something to cure Skye weeks ago, was still fresh in their minds.
Skye had recovered slowly from her wounds and had started hanging around the lab only in the last week. Her movements were still a bit edgy and slow but she was her usual bubbly and sarcastic self.
Both scientists had been more than relieved to have her back with them. Ever since the Team-bonding night when Skye had confessed that she considered them her best friends, they had spent more time together, getting to know each better and becoming closer. And having her almost die had hit them hard.
Jemma had been nursing her constantly since they were back in the air. Although SHIELD's advanced technology and medical surgery techniques and the unknown drug they had taken away, had made her recover, Skye still needed to be looked after and Jemma had taken it upon herself to help her.
Fitz had noticed the dark bags under her eyes but couldn't bring himself to tell her to rest. The whole Team had rarely had a full night's sleep since Skye had been shot but things were slowly going back to normal now. The hacker was back.
Back and teasing them for looking like zombies from the Walking Dead...
So having his partner not answer his soft knock hadn't concerned him; Jemma had looked exhausted last night and he had suggested to take it easy in the morning as he bid her goodnight.
She had rolled her eyes at him, waving off his look of concern and saying that they would see each other as usual for breakfast before kissing him softly.
Their new daily routine...
Seeing that she wasn't answering to his knock and judging by the silence coming from the bunk, he understood that fatigue had won over her sheer stubbornness. Smiling slightly to himself, he walked to the kitchenette where he fixed himself a quick breakfast of tea and toast before going into the lab.
He turned on the lights and monitors and headed to his workspace, unfurling the new Night-Night gun prototype design and getting the necessary tools.
He had been hard at work, fiddling on the project with his pencil as he pondered over proportions, weight and accuracy when the lab's door hissed open. He looked up and smiled as Skye appeared.
"Good morning, Skye."
The girl smiled brightly at him and then froze in place for a moment when she noticed that the left side of the lab was empty.
"Where's Simmons?" She asked, sitting on her chair by the centre of the workbench.
"Asleep," he replied, scribbling a calculation on the corner of his design. Something was off with the cartridge's proportions...
"And how did you manage to get her to sleep in?" He looked up at Skye's tone and arched an eyebrow. "Seriously... I've been telling her to sleep for more than five hours for days and she just scoffed at me. What, did you slip some of that dendro-thingy stuff in her tea?"
Fitz snorted.
"Not really," he remarked. "I suppose she just realised that she was exhausted and allowed herself a couple of hours of additional sleep."
"Yeah..."
He went on with his work, drawing and erasing lines from his design when he felt Skye's stare on him. He looked up and, sure enough, the hacker was looking at him over her laptop.
"What?"
"What about you?"
"What, about me?" He asked with a puzzled look.
"How long have you been in here?"
"-Er.." He looked at his watch and blinked. "Almost two hours."
"And last night, you went to sleep at...?"
He rolled his eyes, knowing where the hacker was going.
"Skye, I'm not tired," he said, pulling out another sheet of paper so that he could draw the design again.
"Yeah...sure," the hacker drawled. "With your pale skin and those dark bags under your eyes, you're not tired at all. You're just working on your Edward Cullen cosplay, right?"
Fitz blinked.
"Why do I feel as though I should be offended by that statement?"
The lab's doors hissed open again.
"Which statement?"
Leo turned as he heard Jemma's voice.
"Hey, Simmons!"
"Good morning, Skye," Jemma said, smiling at the other girl. She then turned to him. "Good morning, Fitz."
"'Morning, Simmons," he looked at her carefully as she put on her lab coat.
Something was wrong...
He watched her turn on her working equipment and retrieve notes from one of her drawers. She looked up and smiled at him.
She looked tired. A different kind of tired, not the exhausted kind that she had been displaying lately. And her smile was...different.
"So, you finally decided to sleep in, Simmons?" Skye asked from a chair with a grin. "What happened to get you to listen to Fitz and I?"
Jemma rolled her eyes as she picked some vials.
"I slept in because my bloody alarm clock stopped working." She set the vials on a tray by her side. "You should have a look at it, Fitz. I've replaced the batteries just last week."
"Alright..." he replied absently as his eyes were still trained on her. She wasn't looking at him and just arranged her workspace and tools. Her movements seemed to be slower...
He wondered if these days -weeks- of work were getting to her. He had noticed her tiredness from the start, helped her as much as he could but she was the only one on the Bus with the medical knowledge to treat or help Skye.
He watched her for another few moments and saw how she slowly but methodically placed the vials in place, took a sample on a slide and analysed it with her microscope.
He wondered if he was only overreacting... She may look tired but she was working as usual.
"How's the analysis of the dendrotoxin's counteragent going?" He asked, picking up his pencil again. "Did you figure out the molecular component that could work in airborne form?"
He had been listening to her talking about this last night while she showed him the various samples and simulations.
"Maybe," she replied vaguely. "I was thinking about different substances. I will try to simulate the results now." She was bent on her microscope, adjusting the lens. "What about you?"
"Getting to work on the reduce sized Night-Night gun," he grumbled, scratching his temple slightly with the pencil. He hated not getting things right immediately. "The proportions of the cartridges, safety latch and recharging mechanism are trickier than expected."
"Oh."
He waited. And then looked up in astonishment.
But her question didn't come.
As a matter of fact, Jemma wasn't even looking at him. She was walking over to a shelf to gather other material.
Something was clearly wrong.
Whenever they were busy on different projects, they always inquired about each other's work. It had always been like that, something that had evolved during their partnership.
He had learned concepts of biochemistry and Jemma of mechanics and electronics and while it clearly wasn't an advanced knowledge, it did give them the chance to understand what the other was working on.
It helped because a set of fresh eyes on a project could see something that the other had missed.
It was their thing, something that characterised their partnership.
It was what had brought him to her side of the workspace, last night at two in the morning, while she frustratingly rubbed her eyes, complaining of bloody components.
And now she hadn't even looked at him.
Fitz dropped his pencil and walked over to her, ignoring Skye's confused look.
Jemma was standing with her back towards him and didn't hear him approaching as she reached for something on the shelf.
He latched onto her extended hand's wrist and spun her around abruptly so that they were face to face.
"Fitz!" she exclaimed, eyes wide in surprise. He heard Skye's squeak of shock from somewhere behind him.
He ignored both and just stared at her, taking in her appearance at such a close distance.
Her eyes were glassy. She was pale but there was a reddish tinge on her cheeks and there was a slight sheen of sweat on her forehead, plastering a few strands of hair.
He moved his free hand to brush the hair away and gently placed it on her forehead. He frowned immediately and narrowed his eyes at her.
"Really, Jemma...?"
-:-
She sighed softly and averted her gaze.
Honestly, she couldn't even argue or say anything, could she? Not when Leo had just found out that she was running a fever.
Jemma watched as he removed his hand from her head and turned around to Skye.
"I'm taking her upstairs to her bunk," he said. "I'll be back in ten minutes."
"Fitz..."
"Take your coat off, Jemma," he muttered. "Bloody hell, woman, what were you even thinking to come down to the lab when you're burning like that?!"
Her heart clenched slightly as she heard the concern lacing his voice and flickering in his eyes. She swallowed dryly and shrugged off her lab coat, put it on her chair and allowed Leo to drag her upstairs by her wrist.
She really couldn't do anything now but let him do what he wanted: her head and body seemed foreign to her.
When she had gotten up, later than usual thanks to her bloody alarm clock, she had gasped as a pounding headache greeted her the moment she opened her eyes.
The initial thought that it was caused by fatigue was extinguished when she realised that her body felt...heavy, lead-like heavy and warmer than ever.
Fever.
She swore against her quilt at the absurd timing of her illness. If there was a thing she prided herself -besides her intelligence- it was her ability to rarely fall ill.
And of course, this ability had to fail now that she was needed...
Leo dragged her to her bunk, quickly tapped her pass code and ushered her inside.
"Change into your pyjamas while I go get you some pills," he said, looking at her with a worried look. She wondered if she looked as horrible as she felt.
He took off before she could say a word, closing the door behind him. With a sigh, she took off her clothes -it had taken her forever to put on her blouse since buttoning up suddenly seemed an impossible task for her mind and fingers, so she simply took it off her head- and slipped into her warm flannel pyjama bottoms and long sleeved MIT jumper. She sat on her bed, taking in deep breaths of cool air and assessed her condition.
She didn't seem to have caught a cold. She didn't feel any constrictions at her throat, her sinuses and ears didn't feel inflamed.
Her head hurt, temples throbbing painfully and she felt her body temperature increasing.
All in all, going down to the lab, attempting to work over samples of volatile dendrotoxin while the world spun around her, hadn't been a brilliant idea.
Her door opened and Leo walked in carrying a mug of tea, a plate with toast, a bottle of water with a plastic cup on it and peeking from his lab coat's pockets, she saw boxes of medication and pills.
She wondered how he managed to juggle all that things with two hands...
He put everything on her bedside table and chair and closed the door. He then knelt in front of her and gently caressed her face with his hand.
"How are you feeling?" he asked softly, fingers brushing her cheeks. She looked at him and her heart twisted at the soft look he was giving her.
"Tired and my entire body aches," she admitted. "I overestimated myself, thinking that an aspirin could help me out..."
"You should have just stayed in bed," he retorted, moving his hand away and frowning slightly. He pulled out a thermometer from his pocket. "Here."
"What gave me away? I thought I had convinced you that everything was fine." She mumbled, putting it under her tongue and looking at him. She felt a stab of guilt as she saw the traces of concern in his eyes.
"You didn't ask anything about my design," he remarked, blue eyes trained on her face.
She felt herself flush and didn't know if it was for the fever or for the intensity of his scrutiny. His words made their way to her brain and she groaned slightly at her mistake.
She had been so concentrated in keeping up her façade at working normally that she hadn't bothered to do what she normally did.
Talk with Fitz. Inquire about his work and discuss about it.
Everything that made them FitzSimmons basically.
She swallowed dryly and then the thermometer beeped. She took it out and looked at the temperature and sighed. Leo took the thermometer and frowned as soon as he saw the LCD screen.
"39 °C..." he said with a sigh. "Jemma..."
His expression was a mix between concern and reprimand and she felt another stab of guilt.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, moving her hands to her neck.
"Hey," He reached for her face, making her look at him. "Jemma... I- I didn't mean it that way... Don't apologize, love..." His hands caressed her face and she closed her eyes at the touch.
"I'm just worried for you," he confessed softly. She looked at him and melted at the soft look in his eyes. He didn't usually affect her like that -or better, he did but she didn't feel tears pricking her eyes.
This fever was scrambling her mind.
"I know..." she replied, taking his hand in hers. "It's just a fever. I don't have any other symptoms."
He squeezed her hand and got up.
"Do you feel like eating something?" he asked. "I wasn't sure if you had breakfast so I brought you tea and toast. These medications should lower your temperature but you should take them on a full stomach."
She nodded, agreeing with last assessment. She really hadn't eaten anything, not wanting to test her body and have to walk more than she should before venturing down the stairs to the lab.
Leo seemed to understand her thoughts because he handed her the plate with toast. He waited in silence as she slowly tore and ate a piece of the crispy bread with just a hint of marmalade (her Mum sent her that months ago and it always reminded her of home) and then handed her the mug.
She smiled slightly as she took a sip of her tea: Chai with just a splash of warm milk and one spoon of honey.
He always made it perfectly...
She slowly finished eating and drinking as he stood there in silence, observing her. She glanced up at him, taking in his appearance.
Beneath his pristine white lab coat, he had a striped shirt, tie and the blue jumper that brought out the colour of his eyes. His hair was unkempt, despite all his(and hers as well) best efforts and fell messily everywhere.
He looked tired. Exhausted even. Skin paler than usual and dark rings under his eyes.
How hadn't she noticed this before...?
Leo had been telling her to rest for days, ever since they knew that Skye was fine but she hadn't listened to him.
She finished her tea and he smiled softly, taking the mug and plate and putting them on the table. She watched him carefully pour water in the plastic cup and bring it to her with some pills.
"Here," He handed her the pills and she slowly swallowed them with a gulp of water once he gave her the cup.
She suddenly felt drained, exhaustion pulling over her body. Sleep and rest seemed like lovely and very well accepted options now.
Leo took the cup out of her hands.
"Now, you sleep," he said, helping her slowly under her sheets and quilt. "And most of all, you don't leave this room until you've reached your normal body temperature."
She was drowsy and her eyes were fluttering shut when he gently laid her on bed, pillow soft under her head and tucked her in.
The medication was already affecting her because she felt the throbbing at her temples ease a little bit. She allowed a little sigh of relief escape her lips and opened her eyes.
Leo was hovering over her, eyes still swirling with emotions, mostly concern. She felt the prickle at her eyes again when she realised that he was hurting for her. Why hadn't she been more careful?
He smiled softly and moved down to brush his lips against her forehead. She soaked in the feelings that this little gesture of affection gave her: the pleasant twist of her heart, the small smile tugging her lips and the wave of warmth -not fever induced- that washed through her body.
Jemma dragged her hand out of the quilt, ignoring the chills running down her arm as the bunk's cool air hit her warm skin and brushed her fingers against his jaw.
She felt warm, soft skin with a hint of roughness caused by stubble beneath her fingertips and she marvelled on the fact that this touch was becoming natural to her.
"Thank you, sweetheart," she whispered, putting all the gratefulness, apology and affection in her words.
Leo smiled again, taking her hand and brushing his lips on her fingers.
"Anything for you."
She was glad that sleep was taking over, pulling her into a warm darkness because those whispered words, full of love, would have surely made her restrained tears fall down her face.
She only managed to smile as she sank into her pillow and was vaguely aware of him leaving the room and closing her door.
-:-
Fitz was in the lab ten minutes later, after a detour to Coulson's office to inform him of Jemma's illness and her inability to work, at least for today.
Coulson's face showed a crack of concern: worry flashed in his eyes before turning unreadable again. He wondered if their leader was dealing and struggling with the same amount of tiredness and work as they were. Considering his position, he probably was dealing with twice as much and Fitz couldn't help but feel a wave of pity.
However, he couldn't shake off that small feeling of resentment towards Coulson for putting Skye's health and life entirely in Jemma's hands back in Italy and on the Bus.
He couldn't forget Jemma's expression when Coulson shouted at her asking if the hyperbaric chamber was working or his partner's terrified and painfully restrained expression when she still didn't know if the hacker was going to survive. He had asked Jemma to figure out a Level 10 medical file that had taken both his and hers full effort to understand -partially, he had to admit- and use that knowledge to cure Skye.
Coulson hadn't been there when Jemma broke down in tears in his arms, hidden in the storage room so the Team couldn't see. He hadn't seen her cry in her sleep while nightmares shook her awake.
He hadn't seen Jemma overwork herself, tending to Skye and all of them, after spending most of her time in the lab, working on their projects and still filing through the TAHITI file and figuring out how the mysterious drug had worked on Skye.
Fitz had.
"You can stay with her rather than work in the lab," Coulson remarked, looking at him. "You look like you could use some sleep and mind-rest."
"No," Fitz replied, with a slight smile. "She's asleep and I'll check on her. I'm not tired."
Coulson nodded and the engineer could clearly see that the man didn't believe his last statement but had let go.
Fitz walked through the lab's doors and found Skye in her chair.
"How is she?" she asked, shutting her laptop. He could see the lines of concern on her face.
"She just has a fever," he replied, walking over to Jemma's workspace and turning off her lab equipment. He tried to sound as casual as possible not wanting to worry Skye with his own concern.
"She's asleep now."
"Hmm."
He carefully ordered the vials, petri dishes and slides, knowing exactly how Jemma organised her workspace after all these years. He looked up and saw the brunette staring at him.
He smiled softly.
"She'll be alright, Skye," he said, going to his workspace. "A good day's rest, some food and the medications and she'll be as good as new."
He suddenly wondered if he was telling this for her or for his own peace of mind
"Yeah..." Skye didn't look thoroughly convinced but she opened her laptop again and started typing.
They stayed in silence as they worked.
Or Fitz tried to work but he couldn't seem to get his mind to focus on the half-drawn design in front of him. He found himself looking up at Jemma's workspace and seeing it empty sent a painful lurch to his chest.
Thoughts had been coming up to his mind again lately. Thoughts that he had been hiding in some corner of his head so that they wouldn't interact and disrupt his mind while the Team was busy handling tense missions.
Namely Coulson being taken away and their forced stay at the HUB, the mess with Donnie at the Academy and then Quinn, Skye almost dying and the mission at the hidden guest house.
And since they were back from the HUB, he and Jemma had established their relationship and that joy had relegated his negative thoughts away. His heart had been enveloped by a happy bubble that made him feel stronger.
However, the bubble exploded when Jemma threw herself against the enemy to shield him and Skye. The seconds of terror, of panic that had numbed his body still haunted him.
And seeing her ill today, pale with dark rings under her eyes, looking weak and so uncharacteristically helpless brought back the worst memories...
Sirens wailing, wind roaring and the sky behind Jemma as she looked at him apologetically...
All his doubts and fears just tumbled back out and he was having a hard time keeping them at bay. His nightmares had come back and even sleep was not peaceful anymore.
He blinked and realised that he had ruined his design again, crumpling it with his fist accidentally. With a sigh, he pulled out another sheet of paper and started over, hoping that his focus wouldn't waver.
This smaller and lighter Night-Night gun was something that he should have thought of earlier. Not after their disastrous undercover mission.
How could he have allowed Jemma and Skye to leave the Bus without being able to defend themselves?
That thought had been plaguing his mind ever since they got back to the Bus with Skye in the hyperbaric chamber.
He could have done something. To prevent this.
Having a gun -another gun since he had given her his- might have helped Skye defend herself better, maybe allowed her to not get injured.
Having a weapon might have made Jemma shoot at the Cybertech man and not struggle with him and allow the grenade to explode between them.
He shuddered at the thought of what could have happened if the grenade hadn't been full of dendrotoxin.
"What are you working on?"
Fitz abruptly looked up.
"What?"
"What are you working on?" Skye repeated. "You've been scribbling like mad for more than a hour."
Had he now? Fitz looked at his watch and, sure enough, a hour and fifteen minutes had passed since he had returned to the lab. He looked down at his desk.
There was a design, crammed with calculations, one half-drawn and with distorted lines, another paper was crumpled and with the vague outline of the gun and there was a bare sheet of paper.
"It's just a smaller version of the Night-Night gun," he replied, rearranging the paper littering his desk. He had always hated to work on messy desks or workspaces...Whatever was he doing?!
"Why?"
He looked up at Skye. Her questions were confusing him more than ever today. She rolled her eyes. "I'm asking why are you building another Night-Night gun?"
"I just realised that the current pistol has a standard size and though lighter than common guns, it's still heavy," he explained. "A smaller and lighter gun would be easy to carry around...and you and Simmons could have it on you."
Skye stared at him.
"You're making that one... for us?"
Fitz tried to ignore the tone in her voice, the hint of surprise and vulnerable incredulity.
He felt a blush creep down his face and neck.
He couldn't tell her that he kept seeing Jemma fall (again). From the plane into the sky. Then there was a bright blue blast and she collapsed with the Cybertech man.
He kept seeing her still on the ground with her eyes open. Then eyes closed and looking almost dead.
Fitz couldn't tell Skye that he couldn't shake off the memory of her inside the hyperbaric chamber, bloody and unmoving.
He cared for the two women and having almost lost both had cracked something in him.
Jemma...well, he loved her. Everything that affected her, affected him. His best friend, partner and other half. Losing her would mean losing himself…
Skye was a novelty. She was filling a void in his heart that had been usually tended to by his sister Alison. It was the sort of brother-sister love that he missed and cherished. Skye was becoming family and the thought of her hurt, just hurt him too.
But he couldn't bring himself to that say that aloud to anyone.
"It's my role in the Team," he said, scratching the back of his neck and twirling the pencil in his hand. "I have to think of every way to defend the Team in advance." He looked up and saw her concerned face.
He shrugged slightly and smiled.
"Remember, gadget guy?" He pointed at himself. "But I'm also weapon guy and builder of the Team's armoury. I have to think of everything to have the Team prepared and protected before going out for a mission."
He let out a breath.
Or at least... he should be doing that.
"Fitz..." Skye got up and approached it until she was facing him. She still looked concerned.
"I told you that I'm not blaming you for the hell of a mess that happened in Italy," she remarked. "I wanted to get that bastard of Quinn and just went in without really thinking about it. You actually gave me your Night-Night gun and stayed outside without any weapon. And while you were out there, disabling their cars, I managed to get busted, get the Night-Night stolen and get shot." She grimaced. "And allowed Mike to be controlled by the Clairvoyant..."
"Skye..." Fitz said. "It wasn't your fault. Mike has unfortunately turned into a piece in the Clairvoyant's plans and none of us could have imagined that."
However, they should have imagined it. Jemma had remarked of how logical it had been to take Mike: he had been the first super soldier not to die from the centipede's serum. SHIELD had taken him away, kept him hidden for months and Centipede had been waiting for him to come out.
He looked at the hacker: she still looked distraught over the fact that the man had been hurt so badly and taken as their enemy's new weapon. He couldn't bring himself to tell her that SHIELD -they- might have prevented it somehow.
"And we already talked about what happened in Italy..." They had a conversation when she was still recovering and the Team members took turns to look after her. "There really isn't anything to add..."
He didn't want to deal with his guilt over letting Skye go into Quinn's mansion alone. That guilt and concern had made him accept Coulson's request to join the team searching for information in the hidden facility. It made him leave Jemma behind with May and Agent Triplett , promising to be careful and ignoring the concerned look in her eyes.
He had also ignored the looks the new agent had been casting towards her. Looks that he was familiar with since Uni while Jemma didn't seem to notice. The usual bubbling jealousy that would simmer in his gut was pushed down then but came up, hot and raw, when Triplett sent Jemma a note and flowers last week.
Jemma had laughed it off, assuring him that she was flattered by the gesture but that he didn't mean anything to her.
He'd believed her.
And she had been particularly convincing in showing him how she felt that very night when they spent time together during a movie night -the first since Skye had been shot. Jemma had put the flowers in a small vase in her room and Fitz hadn't been happy about it.
Not in the least.
Noticing his mood, Jemma had been very cuddly and -he was pleasantly surprised by this side of her that he didn't know- prone to kiss him and show him how she truly didn't care of Triplett.
Saying that she had snogged him senseless was an understatement.
He still blushed at the thought...
He believed her: she would never lie to him.
He just didn't believe himself.
He couldn't deal with all of that again. Not now that he was dealing with his concern over Jemma and the return of all his feelings of inadequacy.
Skye nodded slowly. She must have understood.
"So...I want to try the Night-Night gun first, okay?" She grinned at him, walking back to her chair. "I want it to be all badass and way better than the one Ward uses. And I swear, I won't complain if it's an ounce too heavy."
Leo snorted and went back to his design.
-:-
Jemma woke up feeling warm but with her head light and without painful aches.
She sighed softly beneath her quilt and stretched her arms and legs. Her body wasn't feeling heavy as before; still sore but not heavy.
She squinted slightly at her alarm clock and softly cursed when she remembered that it didn't work and was stuck at some random time.
She slowly got up, still feeling weak but not wrecked as before. She opened the drawer of her bedside table and pulled out her phone and tablet and looked at the time.
She had slept for four hours: it was almost two in the afternoon. She might have underestimated her tiredness in the past weeks: it had been a while since she had slept so deeply without any interruption.
Be it sounds from the plane or her nightmares...
The first nights after Skye had been shot had been the worst. If the sight and feeling of having her friend and teammate's blood on her hands had been so overwhelming to make her lose control and sob in Leo's arms, her nightmares took that feeling to whole new, terrifying level.
She would see Skye dying multiple times: dead at their arrival at the mansion in Coulson's arms, dead because the hyperbaric chamber wasn't enough to save her, dead because the GH325 wasn't injected correctly or dead because Jemma hadn't done enough.
After the mission with Agent Garrett, Leo had started to take Skye's place in her nightmares and the scenarios turned even more dreadful and terrifying. Ward had filled her in with the details of the mission that Leo had somehow forgotten to tell her.
And every time, she would wake up drenched in sweat, her body aching for the tension it had undergone, heart thumping and tears in her eyes. She was extremely relieved that she didn't shout in her sleep: she seemed to have a tendency to just tense and coil in silence.
There had been nights that Leo had been with her -both exhausted and needing to be together- and she had woken up with his arms wrapped around her and his voice murmuring soothing words.
She couldn't erase the look on his face from her mind when he learned that these nightmares were recurrent and that she hadn't said a word to him.
Jemma couldn't bring herself to tell him about them. Not when he had been dealing with his guilt in letting Skye go into the mansion alone and getting hurt. Not after he went on a field mission, willingly and endangered himself. He could have been shot during the gunfire or killed in the explosion. She still felt a wave of dread at the thought.
She didn't want to burden him with her own fears.
She brushed a hand to her forehead, feeling it sweaty and still warm. The woman in her desperately wanted to take a shower and wash away the feeling of sweat and illness but the doctor in her told her that she had to be sure that her temperature was down and that he body would allow her to move without feeling strained.
She reached for the thermometer on the chair and swiftly slipped it under her tongue. A minute later, it beeped and she saw that her fever had lowered to 38.1°C.
Still high but not as much as before. She sighed in relief. She wouldn't be stuck in bed for long then; she would probably be in the lab tomorrow...
She had to work on the dendrotoxin and it's counteragent. It irked the hell out of her that Centipede had used and modified her own studies to create a weapon that was used against them.
It was terrible enough that they had captured Mike and were probably using him as dummy test but developing an airborne form of dendrotoxin and using it against the Team? Stealing one of Leo's Night-Night guns probably for testing?
Centipede wanted to outrun them.
As the Team's scientists, they had to keep up.
Leo was working on modifying and further developing the Night-Night gun's efficiency. He was also designing a new gun that she and Skye could use during missions while finishing projects that he had been working on ever since Agent Coulson had been kidnapped.
And she? She was working on her dendrotoxin and thinking of all of its possible applications.
She couldn't shake off the fact that Centipede's scientists had managed to get it airborne while she hadn't even thought of it. If not theoretically.
She imagined Centipede having hundreds of scientists working on this project. Hundreds of minds that could delve into her study and get more out of it.
More than she could do on her own.
The thought was mind blowing and terrifying.
That was the reason that kept her and Leo in the lab late at night even after a long day of work. That was what forced them to wake up early and go on with their studies and simulations.
She had collapsed because she had been asking too much to herself. Between the lab, tending to Skye and the intense last weeks, she was surprised that her body hadn't given up on her before.
Leo was right. She needed rest.
And, she realised, remembering the way he looked in the morning, he did too. He was tense and broody, his eyes would cloud and harden as he worked and she wondered what he was keeping to himself.
The last thing she wanted was for him to feel even half as ill as she felt.
His concerned face swam into her head and she felt her heart constrict. If the roles were reversed, she would be worried too.
Jemma reached for her tablet and opened the Mail app.
She and Leo have always found ways to communicate with each other when they were not together. Ever since Uni, they had tried everything: phone calls, text messages, emails and Skype.
The very first time they were apart -when they got back to UK for a few days during their freshmen year at MIT- they had opted for phone calls and Skype twice a day and endless text messages.
One day back and they opted for emails rather than texts because Jemma couldn't stop blushing and stuttering whenever her parents threw her an amused and knowing look when her phone chimed and Leo couldn't go on with Alison's teasing for the same reason.
They started writing lengthy emails that were meant to overcome the flux of text messages they usually exchanged. Somehow, they managed to write almost the same amount of emails with thrice the words.
Their families never stopped teasing...
The habit had lingered over the years: during classes or lectures or in the few occasions when they weren't together in UK. They had been exchanging emails even during their stay at the HUB.
She had all of his emails saved in a folder: all of them meant something to her.
Smiling to herself, Jemma tapped the screen.
[13:50 - To leo_fitz]: Still in the lab? How is your design going? And... you should go and have lunch. ;)
She sent the mail, wondering if he would answer soon. They had the habit of going up for lunch around this time after working all morning in the lab but Leo had the tendency to lose himself in his mind while working. There had been countless times when she had to literally drag him away to eat or sleep.
She had a bit of that tendency too...
Her tablet pinged and she opened the Mail app again.
[13:52 – From leo_fitz]: How are you feeling? Still feverish? Do you need something? Hungry? I could make you something if you want to... You are feeling better, yeah?
She felt a smile tug her face as she imagined him typing fervently on the tablet as he sorted out the thousands of questions that he wanted to ask her.
How he managed to ramble while writing was beyond her...
[13:55 - To leo_fitz]: I'm feeling better: I've got a slight fever but no aches everywhere. Make me something? You're not going to cook, are you? I don't know if there's a fire extinguisher in the kitchenette...
She bit her lip as she restrained her grin, imagining his face as he read her statement.
Fitz was by no means unable of cooking but he needed precise -very precise- recipes. The concepts of a pinch of, a handful of and most of, at will were completely foreign to him.
And he needed precise timings. Lines like 'Wait until the crust is brown' or 'Turn off when you see that the inside is cooked' were not for him.
She still teased him for melting a pan when they were living together in Boston back at Sci-Ops and still didn't know how he managed the feat.
She was very glad that he dealt with machines and physically solid structures that he could define and measure either with calculations or with visible, instinctive measurements.
She never asked him to help while working with chemicals that could shift in form while in beakers or vials. He would lose focus at some point and blow something up...
[14:00 – From leo_fitz]: Very amusing, Jemma... Skye walked over when she saw me bent on the tablet and read of the fire extinguisher. I had to tell her of the frying pan incident to stop her from nagging me and now she's doubled over, laughing. _
Jemma snorted a laugh, imagining the scene. She felt a pang of longing to be down with them and not alone here in her bunk.
[14:01 – From leo_fitz]: However... I'll make you some chicken soup. I know the recipe: Ali taught it to me ages ago. I'm going up now and will knock at your door in half an hour. You just rest, alright?
She smiled, ignoring the flutter in her chest at his care.
[14:04 – To leo_fitz]: Alright but make something for you too. We will eat together.
She thought about Skye who would probably want to join them...
[14:05 – To leo_fitz]: Tell Skye that she can come too. As long as she's not too close to me, her antibiotics will keep her safe from contracting the fever.
The answer was quick.
[14:06 – From leo_fitz]: We're off to the kitchen. See you in half an hour. ;)
[14:07 – To leo_fitz]: I'll be waiting... :)
Jemma sank back on her bed, after pulling the pillow up. Her head was light and she only felt a bit sore and thankfully the fever wasn't making her feel dizzy.
She put the tablet on her bedside table and opened the drawer to fetch out a worn copy of Pride and Prejudice: she had started to re-read it a few weeks ago.
She might as well continue as she waited.
-:-
Fitz rolled his eyes for the n-th time when Skye looked at her laptop, checking if he got the soup's ingredients right.
"I told you that I know how to make chicken soup," he remarked again. "Don't go through all the existing recipes online."
"Yeah, yeah..." she said, waving a hand absently. "I'm just checking to be sure. Your melted pan story doesn't really help though..."
"It happened once and I forgot to lower the flame!"
"Yeah...and managed to melt a steel pan. Just how long did you leave it there?"
"Er- I might have forgotten about it...for an hour or so..."
"Geez, Fitz..."
He rolled his eyes again and stirred the soup.
Ten minutes later, they were walking to Simmons' bunk: Fitz carrying a tray with a bowl of soup, bread and spoon and Skye with a plate with their sandwiches and a bottle of water with cups.
Leo knocked the door as he balanced the tray with one hand and slid it open when Jemma's voice told them to come in. He was glad to hear her voice sound more clear and not tired and pained as that morning.
She was lying on her bed, propped up on her pillow and reading a book -one of her Austen books, he recognized the cover. She smiled as she saw them and he felt a bit of his concern fade away.
She was still pale and there were dark rings under her eyes but she looked better than this morning.
He smiled softly and put the tray on her lap as she put the book away by her tablet and phone on the bedside table.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, moving the chair so that Skye could sit on it. The hacker flashed a smile at him and handed him his sandwich. Fitz sat at the end of Jemma's bed.
"Better," she replied, taking a spoonful of the soup. "Hmmm... This tastes wonderful."
"He didn't burn anything down," Skye piped in, taking a bite of her sandwich. "He actually knew what he was doing."
"Skye..." Fitz deadpanned her while the two women laughed softly. He sighed, feeling a smile twitch his lips upwards nevertheless. He turned to Jemma and watched her eat the soup slowly, chewing on the tender bit of chicken and vegetables.
"Do you want anything else?" He asked, searching his mind for memories of when he was sick and to what he was given. Alison usually took care of him. Jemma had too when he occasionally caught a cold.
Rest, chicken soup, lots of sleep and...orange juice!
"Hang on, you should drink something more than water," he said, getting up and putting his uneaten sandwich on the empty plate on Skye's lap.
"Fitz, it's no-" Jemma started to say but he was already at the door.
"It will take me a couple of minutes," he reassured her. "Anything else that you would like?"
She stares at him for a moment and then shakes her head. He doesn't buy it.
"You sure?" He raised an eyebrow at her.
Jemma blushed faintly.
"There should be some fruit-"
"The apples, got it."
He took off to the kitchenette.
-:-
Jemma couldn't stop him as he rushed off but just sighed.
She looked at Skye who stared at the spot where Fitz had been before turning to her with raised brows.
"Soo," She drawled, putting the plate with Fitz's sandwich on the bedside table. "Is Fitz always so... perfectly thoughtful when you're sick?"
Jemma saw the knowing glance on the hacker's face and decided to give all her attention to the soup, hoping that her face wasn't as warm as she felt it.
Leo didn't have the tendency to be overtly affectionate: he had always been reserved about his emotions and rarely showed them to others.
But she knew that he had this kind and sweet streak in him. He would do little things for others and be adorably flustered about them when thanked.
She had seen him doing little things for his mother and sister: gifts or taking care of chores for them. He openly coddled his niece and nephew, showering them with presents.
During the years, he did little things for her too. She had only recently learned of his hidden romantic side but he had never been so... careful and attentive as now.
She looked up and saw Skye still staring at her. Jemma rolled her eyes.
"He is always thoughtful," she remarked, ignoring the other woman's scoff of disbelief.
"Yeah...sure. So, he's not being all cute and perfect because Agent Triplett sent you flowers and hopes to meet you soon, right?"
Jemma flushed. Agent Triplett had managed to know when the Bus would be on land and had sent her a very nice bouquet of flowers with a note where he blatantly asked her to meet again. Alone.
It had taken her a while to placate Skye: her theories of Fitz being jealous and her theories over the agent she had yet to meet and that obviously had eyes on her (Skye's words).
Jemma had had a hard time convincing Skye that nothing was occurring between her and Fitz but she wasn't sure if the hacker believed her. Skye was just too knowing at times... and yet she hadn't said a word to either of them but kept teasing both and dropping hints.
It took her even more time to make the jealousy disappear from Leo's eyes... It flattered and irked the hell out of her that he was jealous. Flattered because it meant he cared; irked her because...did he really think that she would fall so easily for someone else that wasn't him?
A few hours in his bunk that night and kissing him senseless had convinced him of the absurdity of his jealousy. It would always be Leo: only him.
"Anyway..." She shook that train of thought out of her head. "This is the first time I fallen ill since we know each other. He's probably worried about it..."
"Seriously...? The first time?" Skye looked at her in surprise. "And, yeah, he is worried. I don't know much about his work, but scribbling on paper for a while and then tearing it apart doesn't look good."
Jemma blinked.
"He tore his design?" she asked.
"Designs," Skye pointed out. "I saw at least four sheets of paper on the desk when he was texting with you and a few more balled up in a corner."
Jemma felt her heart twist. Leo messed his designs or projects only when he was unfocused and that occurred when he was concerned. Or troubled. She felt a wave of guilt.
"He also kept looking at your workspace all the time and then went on messing up his work..." Skye didn't explain further but it was enough for Jemma to imagine the scene and feel more guilty.
Why hadn't she been more careful?
"By the way, can you tell him to take the day off and rest? I don't want him to fall sick like you did." Skye looked at her, concern clear in her eyes. "You two are busting your asses ever since we got back from Italy. I haven't seen you stop working since I woke up. You have been taking care of me ever since."
Jemma smiled slightly.
"It's my role in the Team," she replied. "I'm the doctor and have to keep you safe. Or alive if the situation requires it. And I work with Fitz, so we have to define our projects too."
Skye stared at her before shaking her head.
"Seriously...? How the heck do you two manage to say the same things even though you're not in the same room?! You just have to share a psychic link..."
"He said the same thing?"
"Fitz said that it was his job to keep us safe. He's the gadget guy and responsible of the Team's armoury."
Jemma felt another clench at her chest.
When Fitz talked about designing a new Night-Night gun, she had been surprised. The gun was one of his most prized works and he always tinkered on it: the thought of him rebuilding it was strange as could be.
It had taken her a while to get the truth out of him.
When he confessed that he wanted to build a smaller version for her and Skye, she felt something break inside her. It might have been for the uncertain hint in his voice or the guilt still dancing in his eyes but most of all the fact that he felt responsible for their safety.
She had tried to talk to him and let him understand that there couldn't have been anything he could have done to help Skye.
Her nightmares had given her multiple images of what would have happened if Leo had been with Skye when she met Quinn. Thoughts of finding their bodies side by side barely alive and with only one hyperbaric chamber lingered in her mind.
She shuddered at the mere thought...
"Well, we work together but we both have our own roles in the Team," she remarked. "Anyway, I'll talk to him and tell him to rest today."
"Good," Skye said, looking relieved. Jemma smiled at the brunette's concern.
As if on cue, Fitz appeared at her doorway, carrying a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a small plate with apple slices.
"Here," he said, putting the glass on her tray and the plate on her bedside table. Jemma caught a citrusy whiff from it and realised that he had squeezed some lemon juice over the apple slices so that they wouldn't wither with the air.
These little things he did made her heart flutter.
She took a sip of orange juice and smiled at him over the glass. He smiled back and took his sandwich, sitting in the middle of her bed. She watched as he devoured the thing in a couple of minutes: he must have been famished...
Skye glanced at them and grinned. Jemma rolled her eyes at her knowing look. The three ate and talked. Mostly, the girls teasing Fitz with Jemma narrating the infamous Frying pan incident.
Leo should have been more embarrassed or annoyed but he was smiling as she and Skye laughed.
"So," the brunette said, after a while, standing up. "I'm off to beat Ward at Battlefield: he promised to have a few rounds before his afternoon workout."
"Really now?" Leo asked and Jemma looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Ward and Skye's Battlefield rivalry was known throughout the Bus.
"Yep. He probably thinks that he can beat me." Skye grinned.
FitzSimmons chuckled as one, making the hacker laugh.
"See you later then," Jemma said and Skye waved at them, closing the door behind her.
Jemma felt Leo's stare on her as she finished her soup. She looked up when she put down her spoon, after wiping her mouth with a napkin.
"I'm feeling better," she reassured him, answering his unsaid question. "The fever has lowered and I'm not aching everywhere."
"You look slightly better," he admitted, crumpling his paper napkin and putting it on his plate. "But I do think that you should rest a bit more. Maybe even a couple of days more actually..."
She looked at him.
"It's just a slight fever, Leo. The pills are working fine and I'll be right and about tomorrow." She didn't want to spend another entire day in bed while she had other things to do.
His eyes had a soft look when he watched her and she felt a flutter in her chest followed by a swoop of guilt for making him worry.
"I'm fine," she whispered, moving her hand to cover his. "I'll be better by the evening and fine tomorrow." She entwined their fingers together and squeezed his warm hand. "You should rest though... I don't want you to fall ill as well."
-:-
Her hand was warm, but not as uncharacteristically scalding as it had been before. He smiled softly and squeezed her fingers.
"I'm fine, Jemma," he said, looking at her with small smile. She looked doubtful and he sighed softly.
Honestly speaking, he was exhausted.
He could feel the tiredness creeping up in his bones even now but he didn't want to give in and wanted to keep working: he'd had an idea while he was trying to finish the prototype design.
Rather than redesigning the existing gun, he could build a new one. A better one...
"You can work on your designs tomorrow," Jemma remarked, drawing him out of his thoughts. "Sweetheart, you have to rest."
It was her concerned tone and her face that did it to him. He would never be able to refuse her anything when she looked at him like that.
And, of course, she would know what he was thinking...
He smiled slightly.
"Alright," he conceded. "I'll take the rest of the day off...but I'll spend the next couple of hours in the lab, finishing an idea I've got for the new prototype while you're sleeping. It's time for you to take the pills again."
"But-" Jemma tried to protest -for which part of his statement he didn't know- but he leaned forward so that their noses almost touched.
"We need to get the fever out of you, love," he whispered. "Once that's gone, I will be more than happy to spend the rest of the evening and night with you here."
Jemma huffed softly and bumped her nose against his with a mock irritated face.
"You win this time only because the fever is tiring me out," She said softly.
Fitz grinned and removed the bowl from tray, putting it on the floor and took the plate with apple slices.
"Come on, eat this. Someone used to tell me that when you have a fever, you have to constantly rehydrate and increase the vitamin intake." He smiled cheekily as he quoted her own words when he had been ill years ago.
Jemma snorted and chose an apple slice.
"Sounds like a smart person," she remarked, taking a bite.
"Very smart."
He watched her eat for a moment, happy to see her better and with colour on her face.
Fitz had never seen her sick in all these years of living together. He would usually catch a cough or flu being more absent minded and careless when it came to taking care of himself.
Jemma was more precise and careful and always managed to foresee any illness symptom and prevent it herself.
The only time she had been careless she had caught an alien virus.
He had been seeing her pale face, reddened eyes and apologetic look before jumping off the plane nearly every night since they got back from their mission in Italy.
It was like reliving the weeks after the Chitauri incident again.
The only difference was that his nightmares switched scene when he thought that it couldn't get worse and showed him when Jemma crumbled to the ground after being hit by the dendrotoxin grenade.
But she didn't fall unharmed. His nightmares were filled with blood, screams, her pale face and unmoving body and his own dread and panic. He would wake up drenched in sweat, tense muscles almost rigid by strain. Thankfully, Jemma had never been there when it occurred.
She had her own share of nightmares and he didn't want to burden her with his own.
"Leo?"
He looked up and found Jemma's hazel eyes fixed on him, concern clear in them. His eyes widened slightly as she reached for his face, fingers skimming gently over his cheekbones.
"What's wrong?" she asked softly. "What is bothering you?"
"Noth-" He started to protest but her fingertips brushed over his lips.
"Don't lie." It came out as a whispered plea and it silenced him. He knew how she hated lies: years of teasing and pranks at school had led her to mistrust.
He had always been honest with her: Jemma's trust always came before anything for him.
He removed the tray from her legs, putting it on the ground and scooted forward until he was sitting by her side. He took her hand from his face and squeezed her fingers softly.
"I'm just tired," he whispered. "And I just have a lot of thoughts in my head with everything that has happened lately. Nothing to worry about..."
He reached for her face and caressed her cheek softly.
"And I'm still a bit worried about you being ill. I'm usually the one that catches fevers or colds between the two of us..."
Jemma smiled uncertainly and leaned forward until their foreheads touched.
"I'm sorry," she apologized but he quickly shook his head.
"No, don't apologize. It's not your fault."
"I should have been more careful."
"We should have been more careful. I should have looked after you..." Fitz dropped her hand in her lap and cupped her face. "We take care of each other, no?"
Jemma nodded and leaned forward to brush a lingering kiss on his cheek.
"Don't want you to get ill too..."
He smiled and slowly got up. Jemma was getting tired: he could see the drowsy look in her eyes.
He poured her a glass of water and gave her the pills that she promptly swallowed.
"Go to sleep, yeah? I'll be back in a couple of hours."
"Yes," she replied and looked at him as she slid under her quilt. "You remember your promise: you have to take the evening off."
"I promise," he replied and brushed a kiss to her forehead. "Get some rest, love."
Jemma nodded and closed her eyes while he picked the tray with the plate piled on it and left the room.
-:-
When Jemma woke up, she didn't feel an abnormal heat on her body or random aches anywhere. She only felt a bit tired and sweaty.
Her only thought was to take a shower.
The doctor in her made her take her temperature first. She almost grinned when she read the 37 °C on the screen, a clear sign that her fever was gone.
She reached for her tablet and saw that she had slept for almost three hours.
And knowing Leo, he was probably in the lab, working.
Jemma launched the Mail app and quickly tapped a message.
[17:45 – To leo_fitz]: No fever and I'm off to shower. You sir, have better be done working by the time I am back in my room...;)
His answer was quick.
[17:47 – From leo_fitz]: As promised, I've finished working, showered and I'm tidying up now. I've got a partner that complains quite a bit of the seemingly messy state I leave our lab when she's not around. Do you know her? :D See you in thirty.
Jemma smiled and put the tablet away, before gathering a fresh change of clothes and heading out of her room, leaving the door slightly open to change the air inside.
Twenty minutes later, she was on her way back to her room, freshly showered and hair blown dry and falling in soft curls on her back.
Jemma felt like herself again: the shower had washed away the last traces of sickness she had felt on her body
She had dressed comfortably with another pair of pyjama bottoms -cotton this time- and an old grey jumper that she had stolen from Fitz while they lived together in Boston. She swam in it but it was incredibly soft and warm.
When she walked into her room, she was surprised to find her bed made and a mug of tea resting carefully between the pillow and the quilt.
She smiled, recognizing one of Leo's little quirks: he would always leave her tea on her bed, mug perfectly cocooned in the sheets, knowing that she would likely crawl in bed to read or relax.
She took the mug and sat on her bed. She took a sip: it was Earl Gray this time, simple and sweet as she liked it.
She sighed softly as she took another sip, a content smile gracing her lips. These were the little things that she loved about him, the small gestures and bits of affection that made her appreciate and love him more every day even before they had truly defined their relationship.
Leo appeared a few minutes later, carrying his own cup of tea and his laptop. He had changed into a more comfortable shirt and hooded sweater and old jeans. He smiled at her as he shut the door with his foot and settled down on her bed, next to her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, putting his laptop on her quilt and moving his hand to her forehead. He looked relieved when he removed the hand. "Your fever's gone."
"Told you..." she whispered, leaning forward to brush a kiss against his cheek, lingering for a moment there, inhaling the spicy scent of his soap and brushing her lips and nose on the light scruff of his jaw.
She felt Leo smile and her lips turned up as well.
They moved on her bed and sat side by side, backs to the wall, each holding a mug. Fitz put his laptop between them and scrolled through the list of films and tv-series he had.
"Go ahead," he said, taking a sip of his tea. "You choose."
She flashed him a smile and leaned towards him to look at the screen, finger scrolling on the trackpad. She felt his breath caress her cheek and enjoyed the little flutters it sent to her chest.
Personal space had always been minimal between them but now that they were together and alone, it was almost non-existent.
"What about some Dr. Who episodes?" She turned to him, hair brushing against his chin and getting caught in his stubble. "We can watch a couple of those, have something for dinner and then settle on a film for tonight."
"Sounds good to me." He flashed a smile at her and drew out his earphones from his pocket, handing her an earbud as he put the audio jack in. He then picked the mug that he had deposited by his side.
Jemma smiled and put the bud on her ear and moved closer to him, snuggling against his side and taking in his warmth. Something about having been away from him most of the day and having him pamper her for being ill, made her feel more clingy and touchy than usual.
She held her tea with her left hand while her right one entwined with his left, soft skin sliding along hardened calluses.
She felt Leo smile again as she dropped her head on his shoulder and she couldn't help the content feeling washing over her as he kissed her hair.
They watched in silence, every now and then laughing or commenting on some scene or line.
If it wasn't for the lingering touches or soft looks they exchanged, the scene wouldn't be any different from the times at MIT or at their apartment.
The comfortable intimacy they shared was something she couldn't have with anyone but Leo.
After a while, she felt his head nudging her and she glanced at him. He was dozing off, head lulling down and empty mug of tea slack in his hand.
Jemma paused the episode and smiled softly as she gently pried the mug out of hand, putting it on her bedside table with hers and moved the laptop to a side.
"Leo," she said as she brushed her nose against his cheek. "Do you want to lie down?"
He mumbled something intelligible and she chuckled, kissing the spot beneath his ear.
"Come on, sweetheart, you will be more comfortable."
He opened his eyes slightly, a sliver of blue giving her a bleary look. She grinned and kissed him again, this time at the corner of his mouth.
"Come on..."
Leo nodded slowly and toed off his trainers before scooting towards her. She had raised her pillow up slightly and was leaning against it as he lied down next to her, squeezing into the little space that was her bed, tangling their legs together.
He fell asleep instantly after shooting her a small, grateful and sleepy smile, his head on half of her pillow and close to her shoulder, arm around her waist.
Jemma felt something inside her melt at the soft look he had. He looked younger when he slept, no hardened glint in his eyes or lines on his face.
It reminded her of their time at MIT when both were small, innocent and sought each other's companionship constantly. The time when they started as friends, became best friends and almost siblings and then shifted towards something as close as possible to being a couple without truly realising it.
She ran a hand through his hair, fingers threading through soft curls and gently scraping his scalp. Leo sighed softly and nuzzled closer to her, making her smile again.
She reached for the book on her bedside table and went on with her reading, fingertips weaving through his hair. His soft, regular breaths made her feel calm and at ease after weeks of tension.
-:-
Exhaustion took over and he accepted Jemma's offer to lie down even though a part of his brain was telling him that she should be the one to rest.
The other part of his exhausted mind thought otherwise and he collapsed on her pillow, hugging her closer to him.
He was quickly enveloped by the lavender scent of Jemma's hair and the warmth of her body. It soothed his nerves, still a bit frazzled after worrying for her all day, to have her close to him.
Fitz dozed off, vaguely aware of Jemma's finger drawing invisible pattern on his scalp and hair, sending soft tingles throughout his body and lulling him to sleep.
He was calm and quite happy now.
That was his mistake.
He let his guard down and allowed sleep to fully take him over rather than keeping a bit of awareness of his surroundings as he did in the last weeks when he shared a bed with Jemma.
The nightmare caught him fully unprepared.
It was the cargo ramp again. Sirens wailing, wind howling and his own voice shouting.
Jemma was looking at him, her figure definite against the blue sky and wisps of hair flying around her face.
It was her look that destroyed him.
The apology in her eyes, the sad smile and her firm stance. His shouts echoed louder in the lab, his fingers gripping hard on the door, muscles straining to open the damn thing but failing.
He was begging her to stop because he knew that she wasn't going to back down.
She was going to jump...
When she stepped back , his shouts grew in volume, hand pounding against the lab's door. When he managed to open it, antiserum in his hand, he rushed forward to grab a parachute but a flash of blue light followed by a spark stopped him.
And Jemma's body floated before him in the sky...
He barely had time to make a sound as despair built up in him that they scene shifted before his eyes.
He was in the train. Struggling to get to his feet as he watched Jemma wrestle with the Cybertech man. The orb in his hand glowed blue.
He shouted her name as he tried to stand straight and move forward. The grenade burst in a flash of blue light.
It's not the cloudy mist that had truly occurred in the train.
He heard an ear splitting scream. Jemma's voice. His own.
And blood.
He saw red everywhere...
-:-
It was the twitch of his arm at her waist that alerted her.
Jemma looked away from her book and noticed how the slack arm around her side -unmoving for almost two hours- was suddenly tense, fingers curled in a tight fist.
Furrowing her brow, she turned to look at him and her eyes widened.
Leo was rigid in his sleeping position, teeth gritting together and little beads of sweat marring his forehead.
It was a situation that she was familiar with. She had been going through this nearly every night since they got back from Italy.
Her heart dropped at the thought that he had been going through the same nightmares.
He never mentioned that he was having awful dreams to her. Never said a word.
Why?
"Leo?" She turned to her side, hand moving softly through his hair. "Sweetheart, wake up. It's only a bad dream."
He tensed again. His whole body going rigid in front of her and a soft, muffled whimper escaped his lips.
Something broke inside her seeing him like that.
He had seen her distraught after a nightmare, had been there to comfort her, wrapping his arms around her and whispering soothing words. Why didn't he tell her anything?
"Leo..." She shook him slightly by the shoulders. "Leo, wake up." His eyelids fluttered open, eyes unfocused and bleary. "Wake up." Her hand moved down to his cheek.
A small spark of static occurred between them, probably produced by their jumpers. Jemma flinched slightly but Leo, in his half-asleep state, was shaken awake.
His eyes widened and he gasped, sitting up and backing away from her in haste that had him slamming against the wall, head hitting the solid metal with a thud.
"Leo!" Jemma sat up immediately, eyes widening at his reaction. She knew how he woke up after a nightmare -he tended to have them when his father's death anniversary approached and they had the habit of sleeping together during those nights- but this was different.
He looked terrified: eyes wide, breathing heavy and looking at her with a scared expression that shattered her heart.
"Leo..." she said softly, moving towards him. She wanted to get closer to him, comfort him but she wasn't sure if he was willing to allow her. The look on his face told her that his thoughts were still lingering on the nightmare.
His breathing calmed down a notch and he looked at her. The panic and fear were still there but he was looking at her now.
"Leo..." Her hand reached for his face, fingers softly caressing his cheek. "It was only a nightmare. It was not real."
She saw him swallow dryly, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. His eyes lost a bit of the panicked glint but the fear was still there. Her heart clenched as she saw him like this.
How many times had he woken up alone in this state?
"Sweetheart, it wasn't real. You're alright now."
She reached for his face with both hands, gently caressing him. They were inches apart and she could clearly see his chest still heaving rapidly.
It took her completely by surprise when his arms wrapped around her and he pulled her closer, flush against him. Jemma squeaked softly as she was moved forward and she felt one of his hands on the small of her back , the other at her nape.
He hugged her, the action quite uncommon coming from him since he was more reserved to start direct physical contacts. Whatever the nightmare had been, it had frightened him deeply to need this kind of contact. She didn't question herself too much and hugged him back, arms wrapping around his neck.
They stayed like this for a few minutes. In the silence, she could clearly feel and almost hear Leo's heart thumping in his chest. She wrangled her fingers in his hair, tightening her grasp on him.
"You're alright," he whispered, his voice raspy, and she blinked.
What?
She drew back a little so that she could look at him. He was staring at her, blue eyes finally clear.
"Leo?"
She felt his fingertips brush the fine hair of her nape, a soft tingling running down her spine as he moved forward so that their foreheads touched.
His forwardness in being so close was puzzling and pleasing her all together.
"You're alright," he repeated, warm breath puffing against her mouth. "It's all I see in my nightmares: you in danger. I keep seeing you falling. From the plane, in the train..."
She tensed in his arms. The Chitauri incident was something they never talked about. It had happened, she had survived and he was the hero: that was all they had said about it.
"How long...?" she asked.
His blue eyes settled on her.
"The nightmares started shortly after your jump," he confessed. "They stopped after a month or so. But since we got back from Italy, they just came back... and are worse than before."
He looked away, reliving something in his mind. She leaned forward to gently brush his nose with hers.
"Talk to me, Leo," she whispered. "Don't keep it to yourself."
He sighed softly, shivering beneath her.
"I see you fall from the plane and die for the virus... Then I see you jumping in front of the grenade and just fall, unmoving. Other times, the grenade isn't full of dendrotoxin and-"
He didn't end his sentence but just tugged her closer, breathing against her hair.
Jemma forced down the lump in her throat and rubbed small circles on his back and neck.
Her nightmares had been about Skye and about the possibility of her dying because she hadn't done enough. Her imagination and inner fears then switched the hacker with Leo, creating scenarios that had her scared out of her mind.
But fortunately, they were only figments of her dreams.
Leo had tangible images for his nightmares.
She had willingly chosen to jump off the plane, she had been ready to die and he had been the only spectator.
She had purposely jumped in front of a grenade to save him and Skye, without truly knowing if she would survive.
Jemma didn't have a death wish but in those two occasions when presented with the possibility of saving the others (him) or herself, she didn't even think of choosing.
But she had never stopped to think of how all of this could have affected Leo.
Had the roles been reversed, she would have lost her mind...
She suddenly realised that he hadn't had any sort of release of his emotions after their mission in Italy. She had cried in his arms, pouring out her grief and fear.
Leo had kept everything in him. And had gone off for a risky mission.
No wonder he had these horrible nightmares...
She hugged him tight, burying her face in the side of his neck.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, voice choking a bit for the emotions she felt bubbling inside her.
"It's not your fault," he replied immediately but she shook her head, feeling the brush of his scruff against her skin.
"It is. I've given you more than a reason to worry."
Leo didn't answer but just held her tighter against him. She was glad of his silence, for once, because talking about that particular subject would be complicated.
And she had more pressing matters now...
She moved back so that she could look at his face.
"You have to tell me if something is wrong, Leo," she said, softly brushing his curls out of his face. "As much as people claim the opposite, I can't read your mind," He smiled slightly at that.
"I know," he said softly. "I didn't want to keep these nightmares from you... but you already had yours to deal with..."
"And you helped me with them," she remarked, leaning forward so that their foreheads touched again. "I don't want you to worry on your own, sweetheart..."
"Jemma..."
"Talk to me, Leo. Let me help me if I can... Or at least, comfort you..."
When he confessed that he had nightmares the days before his father's death anniversary, back in their freshmen year at MIT, she had the habit of checking him during the night.
She would wake him up if she saw him tense in his sleep, bring him water or just stay with him until he fell asleep. Somehow, during those nights, she fell asleep with him and helped him when he needed her.
The habit lingered throughout the years and during the days approaching the thirteenth of April, Jemma would stay closer to Leo. It didn't matter if she had to study, work or even have a date with someone: she stayed by his side night and day.
She saw the soft look in his eyes as he nodded, mingled with a fleeting emotion that she couldn't identify. She knew that there was something worrying him, something more than these nightmares.
They were all under a lot of pressure with all that had occurred to Skye and the constant threat of Centipede and the Clairvoyant.
They had both being working harder to obtain better results. She was developing her dendrotoxin and searching for new substances while Leo was further developing the Night-Night gun.
However, she couldn't ignore the fact that he seemed more keen in being less forgiving towards their enemies. She hadn't forgotten his words when he claimed that he didn't care if the Centipede soldiers died.
She wondered if Leo was facing his own doubts about how to deal with their role in the Team. Of being enough to withstand their opponents.
They will have to talk about that too...sooner or later.
She felt Leo's hands cup her cheeks and the he moved to kiss her. It was soft and drawn, filling her with warmth. She drew back reluctantly for air and nudged her nose to his cheek.
"I am still recovering from fever," she mumbled, her protest not convincing at all as her fingers curled around his shirt's collar, her lips brushing against his pulse. "If you fall sick, I'm not guilty of it."
Leo chuckled, the sound rumbling from chest and reverberating into her. She was suddenly aware that she was straddling his thighs and was still flush against his body.
The warmth that coursed through her body wasn't only embarrassment...
"I know," he said, tilting her face to him." But I'm counting on my wonderful partner to make me feel well again if that occurred."
She smiled against his lips as he kissed her again.
-:-
They left Jemma's room almost an hour later to make dinner -kissing and cuddling in her bed seemed like a very likeable alternative to his nightmares.
They were pleasantly surprised to find Ward -Agent Grant-I'm-a-specialist-Ward- cooking a mushroom risotto for the whole team.
Skye was sitting on one of the stool's of the kitchenette, almost drooling over her empty plate but she looked up and enthusiastically greeted him and, especially, Jemma.
He had seen Skye while making tea earlier in the afternoon and had told her that Jemma's fever was gone and they would be spending the evening in her bunk. He hadn't seen Ward all day and finding him cooking was puzzling.
"What's with Ward?" he asked. Skye looked at him. "How come he's cooking?"
The hacker wiggled a finger at them and FitzSimmons huddled closer to her.
"I think he wants to do something for the Team," she whispered. "Or for you guys."
"Us?" Jemma asked in surprise. "Why? What did we do?"
"Besides working day and night, taking care of us and thinking about new ways to protect us?" Skye put on a mock confused face. "Hmm... that's tough to answer."
Fitz scoffed while Jemma rolled her eyes. Skye grinned.
"Seriously though... I think he's just a bit worried for you, guys." she added. "He acts all tough and super spy-mode but he was worried about Simmons being sick and about you walking around like a zombie, Fitz."
Leo looked at Skye and then at Ward who had his back to them. He was a little bit touched by the older agent's concern...though he would never say it loudly.
Jemma bumped her shoulder to his and he glanced at her.
"We should thank him," she whispered. "He's making us dinner."
"Yeah..."
"No need to thank me: you haven't eaten anything yet," Ward remarked, making the three younger agents jump.
"Woah...Hey, S.O, you've got super hearing now too?" Skye asked in awe.
"Might be, Rookie," Ward turned around with a deadpan look that wasn't really intimidating while he held a wooden spoon and wearing a apron... Fitz had to choke back a laugh while Jemma giggled softly beside him.
"If one of you says a wrong word, you're not having dinner," Ward warned. "Especially you, Skye."
"Hey!"
Leo and Jemma laughed.
-:-
When Jemma heard the knock at her door, at half past seven in the morning, she slid it open and smiled at Leo. He smiled back and they both went to have breakfast and the down to the lab.
Once their equipment was on, she walked over to his workspace and glanced at his designs.
"How is the new prototype coming out?" she asked, looking at the various sheets of paper. She was surprised to see the outline of different weapons: guns, rifles and even an assault rifle.
The design was similar to the Night-Night gun's but it had sleeker lines, less colour and, all in all, it looked every bit as deadly as any gun.
It was silly but the Night-Night gun with its name and neutral colour didn't seem as menacing as these weapons did...
Leo must have noticed her look because he typed something on his tablet and the designs appeared on the lab's main screen.
"I was thinking about a few things yesterday afternoon," he explained, looking at her. "If we're going to have to deal with Centipede's super soldiers, we need something better. Stronger."
She nodded at him, ignoring the little twinge of dread lacing her nerves.
"Hmm...They still work with the same amount of dendrotoxin..." she remarked, observing the cartridges.
"Yeah, I was thinking of tripling the stopping power but using the same amount of dendrotoxin.. or neurotoxin, if you want to test it and run some simulations?" He glanced at her with a smile.
She smiled back.
His work was good and they were only designs for now. He still had to build the prototypes and test them but knowing Leo, they would be ready in a few days.
"So..these will be the new Night-Night guns?" she asked, walking over to her workspace.
"I was actually thinking of a new name," he replied, making her look up in surprise.
"Really?!" He had fought tooth and nail to keep that name.
"Yeah, I know..." he laughed and held the Night-Night gun in front of him and looked at it fondly. "These new guns are different from this one. I was thinking about... don't know... Icers?"
She raised a brow at him.
"Icers?"
"Incapacitating Cartridge Emitting Rifle. How does it sound?"
"Good... Serious sounding."
"We're dealing with seriously dangerous enemies, no? We need adequate weapons..."
She watched him put the Night-Night gun on the stand on his workspace, looking almost wistful as though he was abandoning an old friend.
Somehow, it looked as it was...
"What are you going to do about that airborne dendrotoxin?" he asked, coming over to her side.
She showed him some simulations and talked about the molecular properties of the substances she was working with.
It was their usual dynamic, fast paced thoughts and sentences, ideas shot back and forth. FitzSimmons in every way.
And yet, Jemma couldn't shake off the look on his face when he told her to embrace the change back when Agent Coulson had been kidnapped.
Leo was changing slowly.
He smiled at her before going back to his side and she smiled back wholeheartedly.
She wondered how long it would take for this change to affect her...them... as well.
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