9/2/08
Title: What are Friends For?
Author: Squeezynz
Spoilers: S2Ep4
Pairing: Stabby
Maybe what happened after Connor left with Caroline. Just a bit of Stabby fluff, for those that like that sort of thing.
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The sound of the door shutting behind Connor and Caroline made her jump, her nerves stretched almost to their limit, her body both more weary than it had ever been before, and as jumpy as if electricity was arcing through her spine. She stank, her clothes still damp and chill against her skin, her hair stiff and spiky. For a moment, she just stood in the middle of the floor, Rex gliding over and around her head, his chirping starting to grate on her for the first time since she'd found him.
"Give it a rest Rex...please."
As if understanding her state of mind, the brightly coloured reptile settled for a favourite spot on top of a bookshelf, his dark eyes watching Abby's every move but keeping quiet.
Sighing, running a shaky hand over her face, Abby shuffled towards the bathroom, her body feeling weighted down, a tremor shaking her with every second step. As she went, she stripped off her clothes, the blouse and tank top left behind her along with her sneakers and socks. She had to stop and lean against the door jamb to remove her tight jeans, leaving them in a damp heap as she swung the door shut with one hand, the other reaching for the shower controls. Steam quickly filled the glass walled cubicle as she leant her forehead against the tiles and let the hot water sluice over her. The water soon worked it's magic and she felt able to pour generous amounts of shampoo over her head and scrub until the smell of weed and sweat were entirely gone. Minutes later she was wrapping herself in her toweling robe and shuffling towards the kitchen, her face scrubbed free of makeup, her hair once more slick against her skull.
A faint chirping sound drew her attention as she lifted her mug for a cautious sip, her attention drawn to the insistent sound, her memory unable to supply the location for several seconds.
"Phone...of course..." she shook her head, giving Rex an apologetic smile, the small reptile more interested in it's plate of fruit pieces. Abby rummaged on Connor's desk and found the phone, flipping it open after seeing the name on the screen.
"Stephen?"
"Abby...probably the last person you want to talk to right now...but I thought..."
"Where are you?" Abby interrupted him, her heart rate suddenly picking up.
"Outside."
"Outside my place?" She felt a frisson of something snake down her arms, leaving a glow behind.
"Yeah."
"Doors open." Snapping shut the phone, she dropped it on the table and turned back to the bench and her cooling mug of tea. She kept her back turned to the stairwell, sipping from the mug, the warm liquid soothing her even as she listened to the sound of Stephen coming up the steps.
"Hey."
She slowly turned to face him, noting that he'd managed to fit in a shower and change of clothes as well. He looked uncomfortable, his eyes glancing around the flat, never lingering long, the only thing to catch and hold his interest being Rex, who was now curled up on his favourite cushion. At last his gaze came back to her, his stance relaxed but wary as he stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for her permission before he moved from that spot.
"Hey...kettles hot." She tilted her mug and gave a wan smile. "Connor's out."
"Yeah...I...um...know."
That brought her up short. "You know?"
"Saw him leave with..." he paused, searching for a name.
"Caroline?" Abby supplied helpfully, the hated name leaving a bad taste in her mouth.
"Yeah...that's the one. I thought he'd be here...with you." He shifted his weight, from one hip to the other, his hands hanging by his side as if unsure what to do with them.
"So did I...apparently he had other plans. Why are you here Stephen?"
"To see if you're okay." If it was possible, he looked even more uncomfortable, his mouth pulled into a tight line, his eyes apologetic. "We should have found you sooner..."
"You thought I was dead...drowned." Abby interrupted, drinking the last mouthful of her tea and putting it down on the counter. Somehow her aim was off and it hit the laminated surface with a loud bang, sending jarring pain up her arm. "Damn!"
Shaking her hand to relax her stiff fingers, Abby looked up to find that Stephen had moved closer, his expression one of concern, a hand outstretched as if to offer something.
"Are you okay?" His question was couched softly, quietly, as if he understood that under her facade of calm stoicism, she was as brittle as glass. It was the last straw, her fragile calm snapping at the first sign that someone cared a damn about her.
"No...I'm not...okay..." She flapped her hands as tears started to track down her cheeks, a sob welling up from deep within her, only breaking free when she took a breath, a second before she found herself enveloped in a comforting embrace, cradled against a warm body as her strength finally dissipated and she sagged against him.
At first she didn't want to give in to the urge to succumb, her shoulders rigid as she fought for control, but it only took a few seconds for the overwhelming need for comfort to take over and she let him hold her. He didn't make a protest, just let her soak his shirt-front, let her bunch of wads of his shirt on his back as she clutched him, helpless to stop the storm of emotions sweep her along.
At one point she felt a hard lump well up, a dam wanting to burst. She fought it as long as she could, but at length it was too difficult, a choking scream leaving her mouth, the sound muffled against the firm flesh of his shoulder under the thin fabric.
Stephen never let her go, his arms supporting her and holding her while she raged both inwardly and outwardly, her fingers at his back clawing at him as if reliving the tortuous climb to safety, her fingers sliding out of Connor's even as Connor fought to save her. Somehow they ended up on the couch, Stephen lowering Abby until she sat cradled in his lap, her sobs still shaking her small frame, one hand now thumping regularly at his other shoulder, no strength behind the blows, but an indication of the emotions sweeping Abby along in their wake.
At length the storm passed and she sat quietly against him. He didn't know how much time had passed, and didn't care. His shirt was ruined, but he had others, the faint chill of the vinyl covering of the couch seeping through his jeans, the effect offset by the heat coming from Abby, still plastered to his chest.
"Why did you come here?" Her muffled question came from somewhere under his chin.
"To see if you were alright. You've had a hell of a day...and I had to make sure..."
"It should have been Connor...not you."
Stephen winced, but accepted that what she said was the truth. Since Helen's untimely revelation, Abby had placed their flirtation relationship firmly on a purely working level. There were no more glances, no more shared silent conversations, no more smiles or jokes. It was as if they'd never been more than platonic workmates, despite the occasional flashes of what had been, like ghosts half seen from the corner of the eye. Sure they worked well together, a partnership based on experience and past trust, but there was none of the comfortable silences, or shared looks anymore. It had been hard, but he'd accepted that she didn't want anything more to do with him, didn't want to pursue what had barely started, and chose to ignore what had gone before.
But dammit, she'd nearly died. They'd all thought she was drowned in the canal, that they were only searching for a body. If he hadn't seen Connor leave with that girl, he would never have phoned but got back in his car and driven away, secure that she was being taken care of. Too often she was the one doing the caring, but in this instance, it was obvious she needed someone else to be the carer.
A few lingering hiccups and a sniffle broke the silence, the distant sound of a clock ticking filling the gaps in between. He had thought she'd pull away, sit up and maybe make some embarrassed apology before asking him to leave. Instead she remained relaxed against him, her head tucked into his neck.
"Better?"
"Guess so..." A hand came up and started to fiddle with the collar of his shirt, her breath puffing against his neck and raising goosebumps.
"Do you want to get up?" He figured he should give her an out, her weight not a burden, but not wanting her to think the situation anything more than a friend lending a shoulder to cry on.
"No."
"Okay." He leant his head back on the couch and stared up at the ceiling. It had been one hell of a day, the sky outside starting to darken beyond the windows as the seconds stretched into minutes.
"Stephen?"
"Yeah."
"Thank you."
"Anytime." He gave her a squeeze, careful to keep his hands in neutral territory, while still keeping her firmly seated on his lap. Abby shifted, but only to snuggle further against him, even going so far as to wipe her nose on his shirt, a move that made him smile.
"I could get you a tissue," he offered, but she shook her head.
"Too comfortable." Came her muffled reply, prompting his smile to turn into a full blown grin.
The room started to get shadowy, the sky outside almost indigo before she stirred again.
He wondered briefly how the scene would play out if Connor returned with his girlfriend and found him sitting on the couch with Abby curled up in his lap. It tweaked his masculine ego to imagine the expression on the younger man's face, but then he reminded himself that Connor had far more right to comfort Abby than he ever had.
And there was the small matter of what Connor had said to Abby at the cliffs. He'd arrived with Cutter, seen the situation on the rocky ledge and made all haste to reach the young couple before Connor lost his grip entirely. It meant they both overhead the last few words, and especially Connor's avowal of love for Abby. It made the scene he'd witnessed outside the flat even more incomprehensible when he saw Connor leave with the other girl. Did the idiot have windmills in his head? Stephen sighed and rubbed his cheek on Abby's head. He decided it was time to say something.
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"For not being Connor."
He waited for her reply, but she didn't speak again for several long minutes.
"It's been pretty horrible for you, hasn't it?" She finally asked, raising her head to tilt it back on her neck and stare up into his face. "I mean, Helen dropped you right in the shit...then this whole Cutter thing straight after. I heard what Lester said, and he was wrong, you know."
"No he wasn't...I screwed up..."
"Well...yeah...but maybe Cutter and Connor just got lucky. Just as well for me...eh?"
He smiled down at her. "Yeah...just as well for you."
They sat like that, staring into each other's faces, the strengthening darkness casting strange shadows over features and familiar objects. Stephen was the first to break the connection, deciding that if he didn't do something immediately, he was likely to do something incredibly foolish instead. With an almighty heave, he got to his feet, Abby still clutched in his arms, her own finding a grip around his neck as he took a few steps into the middle of the room and then turned his head, obviously looking for something.
"Where's the bedroom?" He glanced down at her and saw that her eyes were impossibly wide, her mouth opening and closing but making no sound. Exasperated, he grimaced and raised an eyebrow.
"It's not what you think...I just thought I'd carry you there, then you could get some rest. I'll lock the door on the way out."
"Oh..." Abby finally found her voice and nodded her head in the direction of the bedroom. Her mind was a seething cauldron of half remembered images of Stephen in different states of undress for different reasons, on different occasions. All of them sent a warm rush of sensation flooding through her, her pale face turning a bright pink as he carried her in the direction she'd indicated. True to his word, he gently set her down on her feet once inside the room, and then turned to leave, his eyes once more shadowed. Abby flicked on the switch for the bedside lamp, the gold light illuminating the various fossil and animal prints hung on the walls.
"Don't go..." She blurted out, already feeling the loss of his body against her own, the comfort and security of knowing his arms were holding her safe. "I mean...do you mind staying a little bit?"
Stephen shifted on the balls of his feet, half of him already out the door, the other half wanting to stay. "What about Connor?"
Abby stared down at her hands. This was the moment of truth. Did she really want to give up what was in front of her for something that might, or might not eventuate with someone who couldn't be honest with her? Sure, Connor loved her, but what sort of love left you alone after such a traumatic day without even acknowledging what had been said, or even a kind word.
"Connor is Connor...we said a lot of things in the heat of the moment. Everyone does."
"He said he loved you." Stephen stated baldly, but also softly, as if realising that she was conflicted.
"He said a great many things...then took them back." She raised her head, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "I love him too...in my own way, but not the way he thinks."
"Ah." That single word seemed to sum up everything. Making up his mind, Stephen left his half-in-half-out post by the door and sat down on the side of the bed, beside her.
"I'm sorry."
Abby glanced up at him, giving him a wan smile. "So am I." Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she sighed gustily and leant against him. "Why does everything have to be so complicated?"
Putting his arm around her shoulders, Stephen held her lightly, not bothering to answer what was obviously a rhetorical question. After a few minutes, he dropped his arm and turned slightly to better see her face.
"You need to rest. You look all done in."
"I feel exhausted."
"Lester isn't expecting you in at the ARC tomorrow, so don't set the alarm clock. I'll leave a note for Connor so he doesn't wake you."
"Stephen?"
"Yeah."
"Why are you being so nice, when I've been so horrid over this whole Helen thing?"
He stared down into her woebegone face and again fought the urge to do something stupid. Instead he gave her a smile that reached his eyes. "Because we're friends, workmates, colleagues and I care about what happens to you. Okay?"
"Okay." He remained sitting when she rose to her feet, her robe tucked tightly about her body. He thought she was going to turn down the bed, but instead she turned right around to face him, coming to stand between his knees, putting her a little above eye level with him.
"I think I like having you care about me." Abby said, her expression serious, "I think I could like that a lot."
Before he could react, she had placed her hands on either side of his face to tilt it, leaning down herself to place her lips quite deliberately on his. As kisses go it wasn't particularly passionate or sexy, but it held a wealth of emotion and meaning. Their lips clung for a few seconds, then Abby pulled away, just far enough to look into his eyes. "I think I could get used to that." Releasing his face, she turned away and busied herself fussing about the bed while Stephen sat as before, now slightly stunned at the turn of events.
Giving himself a mental slap, he got to his feet and rubbed his suddenly sweaty hands down his jeans before making his way to the doorway once more.
"Um...I'll go write that note...for Connor..."
Abby looked at him over her shoulder. "Alright."
"Then I'll be going..."
"Okay."
"Right..." still a trifle bemused he did just as he'd said, pinning the note to the top of the stairs so it couldn't possibly be missed by the returning Connor. He briefly wondered about Connor's reaction to seeing someone's handwriting other than Abby's on the note, but just as quickly dismissed it. With that small task done, he glanced once around the darkened flat before putting his foot on the top step of the stairway.
"Stephen?" Abby's voice halted him in his tracks. Twisting around he saw her standing, framed in the light from the bedroom, her arms loosely folded across her chest, her face in shadow.
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"You're welcome Abby...anytime." He grinned, his heart suddenly lighter than it had been in weeks. He couldn't see her face, back-lit as she was, but he didn't need to, her voice told him her expression. "You get some rest...okay?"
"I will. See you at work."
He didn't bother to reply, just lifted his hand to wave, before taking off down the stairs and out the front door, careful to lock it behind him. With his step considerably lighter, he made his way to his car and got in. Unable to resist, he glanced out the side window up at the first floor flat, the windows dark and uncurtained. As he stared he saw Abby at one of them, her hand raised in farewell through the glass. Turning on the ignition, he toggled the lights and rolled down the window, raising his own hand to wave her goodbye before pulling away from the kerb and driving down the street. Sure, he was going back to his own empty, echoing apartment, but in a few days they'd all be back at work, and just maybe things wouldn't seem so bleak anymore. Maybe, just maybe things were finally starting to look up.
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