This is the first upload on my new account and my very first upload for The Thick Of It. It'll most likely be a one-shot, though I have thought about exploring Malcolm's encounters with Nicola's children. If the demand is there (or if I'm seriously procrastinating from real life), I may add to this. I hope Malcolm isn't out of character here, but I do think he's a bit more docile outside of work. Also, I will be uploading this to Archive of Our Own aswell, so sorry for double posting if you browse there too!
Set around two years after Goolding. Malcolm/Nicola. T for big bad F words.
Katie Murray quietly clicked the front door shut behind her as she kicked off her high heels. She shrugged off her jacket and draped it over the banister before dragging herself up the stairs. She kept her footsteps light, having no desire to wake up her mother and having to explain why she spent all her money on drinks and couldn't afford the taxi to her dad's house. She slowed as she reached the top of the stairs, picking up faint noises. She crept onwards but stopped dead as she neared the master bedroom, the unmistakable sound of two people having sex reaching her ears. She turned in horror and retreated to her own room, shutting the door behind her. Taking a moment to compose herself she pulled out her phone and dialled in her sister's number. After two tries the sixteen year old finally picked up.
"God, what is it, Katie?" Ella asked grumpily.
"Ella, is Dad in bed?" Katie demanded, her voice low.
"What?"
"Is Dad in bed?!"
"It's two in the bloody morning, of course he is," Ella snapped.
"No, I need you to check, it's important."
"God, are you high or something?" Ella grumbled, rolling out of bed. Katie chose not to answer. "I can hear him snoring from out here. Do you need to be picked up or something?"
Katie had sunk down on to her bed. "No, it's fine. I'm at home; taxi to Dad's was too expensive. I'll see you tomorrow."
"You actually got me out of bed for that? God, you're such a twat."
"Right, I'm sorry! I'll explain tomorrow."
"Fine. Better be interesting. Night."
Katie sat for a moment, unmoving. Someone was with her mum, and it wasn't her dad. She hadn't ever expected them to make amends, but it was unnerving nonetheless. Pulling a face she decided to forget about it until morning and clambered into bed.
Malcolm finished buttoning up his shirt and crept quietly out of the room, trying not to wake Nicola. As he reached the bottom of the stairs he paused, eyes resting on the jacket on the bannister and the heels by the door. He definitely didn't remember them being there the night before. They had to belong to one of Nicola's girls. A dull worry settled in his stomach as he hoped against hope that he and Nicola weren't overheard during the night.
He slipped into the kitchen and began pouring himself a glass of water. He turned from the sink and jumped at the sight of a figure coming through the door. The glass slipped from his hand and clattered into the sink as Katie gave a shriek.
Nicola jolted awake at the sound of a scream downstairs. She looked around blearily for a second before sitting bolt upright and leaping from the bed.
"No, no, no. Shit, shit, shit," she shrilled, pulling a dressing gown around herself and pelting out on to the landing. She took the stairs two at a time and quickly reached Katie still standing at the kitchen door. Katie turned to her, clearly shocked.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Him?! Of all people, him?!" she demanded, gesturing furiously at Malcolm, who was standing in a white shirt, jacket in hand and tie hanging out of his trouser pocket.
Nicola slipped past Katie, a hand rubbing her temple. "God, no... When did you get here?!"
"Last night. Thought I'd better not announce my presence, didn't want to interrupt."
Nicola turned away from her daughter and leaned heavily on the kitchen table.
"Oh, Jesus." She said and looked towards Malcolm who was leaning somewhat sheepishly against the counter, his head bowed. He met her gaze and seemed uncharacteristically unsure of what to say.
Nicola sank into a chair. "I'm so sorry Katie. I don't know what to say."
Katie took a step into the room, her arms tightly folded. "Does Dad know?"
Malcolm's head lifted and his eyes locked on to Nicola, who avoided them.
"N-… I haven't… No, he doesn't," she finally stuttered.
Katie snorted sardonically. "I can't believe this! Are you even planning on telling him?"
Nicola didn't answer and it was Malcolm who broke the silence. "I- I'm sorry."
Katie rounded on him. "Oh, he speaks! Well then, what's your input? You going to have a chat with him?"
Malcolm caught Nicola's eye before answering. "It's complicated, Katie."
Katie laughed tersely. "You actually know my name. Well, I wasn't expected that."
Malcolm finally stood a little straighter, frowning. "Of course I know your names, you're her children."
"Oh, so we actually did factor into the equation then?"
"Yes; you, your brother and your sisters are obviously my priority," Nicola asserted.
"Well that's a fucking first then," Katie snapped, storming from the room.
Malcolm glanced worriedly at Nicola, whose face was ashen.
"Sorry," he said, his voice low. Nicola shook her head, her eyes closed.
"It's okay, I'll sort this. It just wasn't the ideal way for her to find out."
"Not quite, no…" Malcolm agreed. "Should I go?"
Nicola opened her eyes and observed the guilty look on Malcolm's face.
"No, no, stay. I'll sort it with Katie. She's actually usually the most reasonable of my girls. Might just take a bit of a chat, some explaining."
"If you're sure," he said, stepping towards Nicola and resting a hand on her shoulder. He gave it a reassuring squeeze as she leaned into him.
"You know, I could go all old school Malcolm Tucker on her... Find a weakness, exploit it; force a superinjunction; threats..." he suggested lightly.
Nicola pulled away, eyebrows raised. "You are actually such a fucking tosser. Nobody says 'old school' anymore, old man."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Malcolm replied, grinning. "I'll get the kettle on, shall I?"
Thanks for reading. (hint: I love reviews).