Y'all, I don't even know where to start. I'm working on another story that is way different than this but some of these scenes have been in my head for weeks so I needed to put them on paper. It's been a really bad week for me, I lost my granny amongst other shit situations, so I needed to feel productive for a minute and I apologize ahead of time for any grammar issues or run-ones. I really do hope you guys enjoy this and feel free to review. Lots of love, Hannahbear1110
Hermione didn't know when it happened. She didn't know how it happened. If it happened when she first saw him sitting on the dock by the lake. Probably not, she'd approached him and they'd fought about whose spot it was. Maybe it was when they'd begin sharing the dock; but probably not. They'd simply existed in silence, usually glaring at each other when they did bother to acknowledge one another.
But it could have been when he'd begrudgingly asked her to read her book aloud. They'd sit at opposite ends of the deck and she'd read whatever book she had brought with her.
Maybe it happened when they began to open up to each other. She told him how obsessive Ron was. How Harry wasn't around as often and when he was he was too distracted to let her in.
He told her about his fear of disappearing his mum. How he wasn't sure if he could make his mum proud, how he didn't always agree with his father.
Maybe it happened when they'd finally sat next to each other, and she'd fallen asleep to the sound of him reading. She'd opened her eyes and realized her head was on his shoulder and he was watching her, a shy smile playing at the edges of his mouth.
It didn't really matter when exactly it happened. Hermione had quit trying to pinpoint the moment. All she knew was that she was, absolutely and completely, in love with Draco Malfoy.
The weather was gloomy and cold, snow was in the forecast and the warm days of fall were over. Hermione wrapped her Gryffindor scarf around her neck and headed out of the common room. Hermione and Draco had started meeting nearly every afternoon, even now that it was cold.
She was on her way to the dock now, with a thudding heart and a dry mouth. Today, she was going to ask Draco out. She wanted more than a friendship, he was perfect for her. He matched her wits and they meshed well together, they played off of each other's personalities. It helped that during one of their rendezvous Draco had sincerely apologized for the way he had treated her in the past. And she'd forgiven him, after all he was only a kid, being fed poisonous ideas by his influential father.
Hermione's eyes immediately found Draco's form, in the distance. Then she realized he had a small group of people around him. It was strange for him to bring his Slytherin group down here. In the last few weeks he'd never done that. It was their place after all.
However Hermione was much too stubborn to give up now. She'd just need to get Draco alone somehow.
"Oy, is that Hermione Granger there?" Goyle grunted in her direction.
"What's that Mudbloods want?" Pansy Parkinson's distinctive nasal voice rang out.
Her hind lifted her chin high and brushed passed them. "Malfoy, I need to speak with you privately." She looked confidently at him, but her heart sank when she realized he wasn't making eye contact.
"What could you possibly say to him, Mudblood?"
Hermione cut her eyes at Pansy, but she could feel the blood flow to her cheeks. She was blushing and that was bad.
Draco's friends began laughing. "Pansy, I think you've embarrassed her. I wonder what she could possibly be embarrassed about?" Blaise Zabini spat out.
Pansy delighted in answering, "Well Blaise, I do believe Granger has a crush on our Draco. How adorable." The words dripped out like venom.
Hermione felt lightheaded. Normally she'd have a witty comeback, or she'd simply lift her chin higher and walk away. But she'd never been in love. And for some reason that made her weaker.
She looked to Draco for help, silently pleading for him to look at her. He didn't.
"What is it Granger?" He sneered.
Her stomach dipped, she was afraid she'd throw up. This wasn't the boy she'd gotten to know. It was the one she'd always known. She didn't answer him.
"Draco, she's obviously in love with you. Look at her blush! I mean, why else would she stroll over here like she's your friend." Pansy was gasping through laughter.
To Hermione's horror Draco laughed too. It was a cold laugh. It sounded like pebbles on a frozen lake. Suddenly she couldn't breathe.
"Draco." She struggled even to whisper. "Please."
For a second Draco's eyes locked onto her's. There wasn't the sparkle she had been used to seeing there. There was a flash of… something but it was gone in a second.
"I think you're right Pansy. I think she's got a little crush on me. Brightest witch of our time? She can't be if she seriously thought I'd ever be interested in a filthy little Mudblood like her."
Hermione's heart shattered. It felt like someone reached into her chest and crushed her heart in their hand. She gasped at the pain. They'd been friends. How could he just turn around and tear her down like this?
She wanted to cry, the lump in her throat was choking her. But she wouldn't do that here. She couldn't.
So she did what she did best. She lifted her chin and locked him in a fierce gaze. "Your mum would never be proud of this." She spun on her heel and marched away. She could hear his friends laughing, to them it was a pointless remark. They assumed his mother couldn't be anything less than proud. But she knew, gauging by the hurt that crossed his face, that she had hit on his deepest fear. It was something they had talked about to great lengths and even now she felt sorry that she'd had to use it against him.
Hermione managed to make it to her bed, where she cast a soundproofing charm, allowing the sobs to wrack her body behind the curtains of her bed. She knew no one could hear her, and her bunk mates knew better than to bother her when the curtains were drawn.
That's how her days began to pass. She'd attend classes, pointedly ignoring any jeers or insults from the Slytherin table. After finishing her class work she'd head back to bed, allowing the hollow feeling in her chest to have its way. She cried more than she ate these days.
During one particularly tense day, Ron finally decided to mention the rumors of her interaction with Draco. She couldn't remember much of what he'd said to her. But she remembered her silence when he'd demanded to know what happened. She remembered the flare of anger when he'd insinuated that she was stupid for falling for Malfoy.
She was so tired of these boys thinking they could call her dumb. First Draco and now Ron. She'd yelled at him. And Harry had been stuck in the middle, trying to calm everyone down.
Now they both avoided her, in fact everyone steered clear of her. She was moody and didn't speak much outside of class. Christmas was quickly approaching and students began to focus on the excitement of their holidays. It granted Hermione the invisibility she craved.
Until a few weeks later when she was in Potions. It was her last class before the Christmas break and she just wanted to get through it. She'd been trying to power through the last bit of her essay in an attempt to finish early, hoping she'd be allowed to leave class early.
She'd felt someone looking at her. With a tightening in her chest, she lifted her eyes from the paper. They locked with the ice blue eyes across from her. Draco. His face was pained and he didn't make a move to look away.
But Hermione did. She wasn't going to let him see her hurt. He wouldn't get sympathy from her. He didn't deserve anything she had to offer.
But the interaction left her distracted and she struggled to finish the essay now. Before she knew it, they were being dismissed. She gathered her things, deciding it'd be best to let the other students disperse, hoping to give the corridors enough time to empty out.
As she gathered the rest of her things, she realized she wasn't alone. Draco was still there, sitting at his table, watching her. Hermione felt the tears threatening to fall so she ran. Out into the blessedly abandoned halls. Down the corridors, paintings streaking by in a blur. Down the stairs, that perhaps for the first time were exactly where she needed them to be. Out the front doors and down to the docks, where she collapsed, realizing after a moment that it had recently snowed.
She gasped for air, the running had taken it out of her and her sobs refused entrance to any good breaths. She let it out. Weeks of crying hadn't eased any of the pain, she ached to feel happy again.
She screamed. It felt good to let it out. She was too far from the castle to cause any concern, and her screams were caught by the wind on the lake; which carried them away from her.
She sat in the snow on the dock, and screamed until she had no voice. She cried until there were no tears left. She continued to sit after she was done, she could have cast a warming charm but the bite of the cold on her skin helped her feel centered.
She didn't know how long she sat there. But she heard the approaching footsteps crunch in the snow. She didn't turn to see who it was. She didn't need to.
"Hermione." His voice was broken, he was in pain too. But it was a pain he'd created. She couldn't answer. "You have every right to hate me. I hate me. You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to apologize. I didn't want to hurt you, I hated every second of it. I was scared. I was being the person they thought I should be. But that's not me. I'll never forgive myself for talking to you like that. I'm truly sorry." He stood behind her for a minute before shuffling away.
She felt a blanket of warm settle over her and knew he'd cast the warming charm. She sat for awhile before standing up. Turning around she was startled to see him nearby. He'd settled under a tree and watched her. She realized that meant he'd been sitting in the cold since she was under his charm.
She still loved him. After it all she couldn't make herself hate him. That's why she hurt so bad; a broken heart still beats, and her's beat exclusively for him.
Draco stood up when she approached him. There was the sparkle in his eyes again, along with sadness, fear and a little hope. Hermione sighed.
"I'm sorry for what I said about your mum. You hurt me, but that doesn't mean I should use your biggest fear against you." Hermione's voice was still crackly from the yelling and sobbing.
"It's not."
"What?" She murmured, confused.
"It's not my biggest fear. Not anymore." Draco stepped forward, his hand floated up like he was considering touching her cheek but instead he met it fall to his side again. "My biggest fear is losing you. Hurting you again."
Hermione inhaled sharply. On paper, he was saying and doing everything perfectly. And she wanted to give in. "You destroyed my world in a second Draco. Without hesitation you broke me. Then you waited weeks to say something. For weeks your friends mocked me, you laughed with them. And you think you can just come here, and say you're sorry. Then what? What did you think would happen?" She was crying again.
Draco's head hung. He ran his fingers through his hair before looking up at her. "This. I figured this would happen. You never let anyone get away with any of their bullshit. You're too strong to let them walk all over you. It's part of what makes me love you so goddamn much. You're the strongest person I know, so I knew you'd stand your ground."
"What?" Hermione's voice was barely audible. Her heart beat in her throat, suddenly she was too hot.
"I love you. I love you so much that it feels like my chest is too tight most of the time." He stopped talking, he was crying too.
Hermione sighed. This was a mess. She reached out and took Draco's hand. He looked at her with widened eyes. She didn't speak, instead she led him back to the dock. They sat side by side, under Hermione's warming charm.
"I love you too Draco." She said. "I tried to hate you after what you said but I just couldn't. I tried to forget how much I loved you and just move on but it was like pushing against a brick wall. I know who you really are and I know that the you who said those things, he's someone else."
Draco tried to speak but Hermione cut him off. "No, let me finish. I know that he wasn't the real you, but you have to get control over him or I can't be with you. I won't put up with it again. I'm giving you a chance even though every ounce of my logic is screaming at me not to. But if you do that again, you'll lose me forever."
Draco took Hermione hands into his and looked her in the eye. "Never again Hermione. I would rather die than hurt you again."
He leaned in and kissed her. His lips were warm and soft and seemed to fit perfectly with her's. It was a promise and a beginning, wrapped up in the most perfect first kiss.
The End ️