The Best Things That Have Ever Happened in the History of the Universe
AN: This was a collaboration between Pocket Full of Pens (Amy) and me (Nik). It makes little to no sense to anyone, as when we wrote this, we were both sleep deprived and had a friend in the room that was hyped up on caffeine. It includes references to: Merlin, Doctor Who, BBC Sherlock, Once Upon a Time, Supernatural, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Once Upon a Time…
There was a young girl, her name was Buffy. She was in love with Guinevere, the fiancé of Arthur Pendragon. This might have been a problem if Dean Winchester hadn't come along and stolen the prince's heart. Arthur's father, Uther, blame sorcery, and Merlin was forced to run present day Las Vegas with the help of the 11th Doctor (who fell out of his TARDIS and died). In Las Vegas, Merlin got drunk off his arse and woke up naked the next morning with his new husband, Sherlock Holmes. John Watson was jumping for joy, as now the Cumberbitches would stop shipping Johnlock.
John then ran to Storybrooke, Maine to tell his secret lover August. Sam Winchester was passing through and had gotten a room in Granny's Inn. The next morning Sam found Harry Potter and Percy Jackson in the backseat of the Impala locked in a lovers' embrace. He tossed them the keys, and said, "Keep it, it's broken now." Two weeks later Sam got a call from his old friend Sherlock, who had just got divorced from his now ex-husband Merlin when Merlin discovered that Sherlock was "broken."
Back in Camelot, Uther had had a change of heart and fallen deeply in love with Severus Snape (who was still a greasy git). This deeply disturbed Snape, so he called up his old friend Albus Dumbledore. Albus was busy at the time, with his lesbian lover Charlie.
Captain Jack found all these new relationships to be the best things that had ever happened in the history of the Universe. He decided that everybody should shag in the TARDIS which was coincidentally empty, as the Doctor had fallen out and died. Merlin declined going as there was no one for him to go with, but for some reason Sherlock – also single – decide to go. What Sherlock didn't know about this gathering was that he was being lured there under false pretenses by Captain Jack. Jack, for reasons known only to him, found the idea of sleeping with Sherlock to be extremely tempting.
Castiel was very pissed off at the fangirls by now, so he decided to smite all of them (and Arthur because he wanted Dean back) and then proceeded to fix history.
AN: TBC (Maybe, I don't know…) Hahahahaha…we're sorry we wasted your time.