A/N: I've had this thing on my phone for ages, and I made a few tweaks here and there so that it was ready to be uploaded. I have no idea how this came to be (it was probably me daydreaming about Dick's butt, again). Anyway, I hope you guys like it! :)
Disclaimer: Young Justice? *Reaches out to touch, but hand phases right through mirage* Soon, my sweet prince. (Yeah, I own nothing)
Fanboy Souvenirs
It was Friday night, and Dick had already breezed through all his Math homework effortlessly- he honestly had no idea why people found algebraic equations difficult -so that he could finally join the others for their Superhero Movie Marathon that they religiously did once every week (it was pretty serious business, and no one was late. Ever).
Taking the free seat next to Artemis, he reached over and took a handful of popcorn out of her bowl, earning himself a vicious glare that he was pretty sure would've fried him if she had heat vision.
He turned to glance around the room and frowned. "Where's Wally?"
"Who cares?" The blonde archer growled out.
"I think he went to the bathroom," M'gann supplemented, mirroring his expression.
"With any luck, he fell down the toilet and drowned."
He bit back an amused smile when Kaldur stepped in from the couch opposite and gave Artemis the four-one-one how to treat her team mates, even if it was Wally.
M'gann shushed them with an exasperated pout and snuggled closer into her boyfriend's arms as the opening credits rolled in.
"Ugh, I hate this one." Dick muttered under his breath, stuffing another handful of popcorn animalistically into his mouth. And, did Artemis just growl? He grinned, waving a hand at the TV screen. "They never get Bats right. He's not broody enough."
"Hey, hey, heyyy!" Wally yelled with a mile wide grin as he slowly stepped into the room, spinning a measly scrap of material around his finger. "Guess what the Wall-man found?"
Everyone craned their heads to see what he was talking about, and Dick's face suddenly drained of color when he realized exactly what his best friend was holding. He was pretty sure his heart race had increased. The look Conner gave him confirmed his suspicion and made him wish the ground would open up beneath him.
"What the hell are those?" Artemis asked, her eyes narrowed as she tried to get a closer look, but couldn't be bothered to get up and find out. Dick prayed she wouldn't.
As the speedster drew nearer, the brightness of the green was almost blinding.
Holy panties Batman, this was some form of karma for the prank he played a couple of days ago that ended up with Wally naked in the same room as Artemis (maybe that's why she was pissed at him). He was sure of it.
Still grinning, Wally threw himself down in the seat on the other side of the blonde archer, and their eyes locked. Dick hoped his best friend could see the fire of his gaze burning behind his dark shades.
"Are those panties?" Artemis asked incredulously as she snatched them off Wally who whined his protest, her gray eyes staring at the lower part of his old costume with the same expression she wore when she found him and M'gann baking cup cakes and cookies last week.
With a disturbing knowing look that made his stomach flip, the Martian giggled and he knew he was so busted. "I think the correct term is 'fish scale' panties. See the way they sparkle under the light?"
Dick buried his head in his hands and groaned. Kill me now, he thought meekly. Kill me now, please, and put me out of my misery.
The raspy laughter that suddenly filled the atmosphere suffocated him and he fought back the urge to run and hide to save what was left of his male pride before it took anymore critical hits that could do some serious damage in future.
"Oh my. . .God," Artemis breathed, her tone high pitched in amazement. But, something else. No, wait. . .was that a hint of admiration in there, too?
Her eyes sought out his, and even though she couldn't possibly see them, Dick still felt as though she was staring into his very soul. The grin she wore couldn't have been any wider, it was borderline Joker material. "These are yours, aren't they, Boy Blunder?"
Tell the truth, or run.
With the way his team mates were staring at him, especially the look of unadulterated horror Conner was sporting, which was honestly the first time he'd ever shown any emotion that heavy, Dick really preferred the latter.
"Oh no you don't," Artemis grabbed hold of his arm and yanked him back onto the couch before he could make a break for it. "We're all awfully intrigued about your little fashion mishap."
"I can't believe you actually wore these, Robin," M'gann bit her lip, a giggle seeping through as she handed them back to an eager Wally who practically snatched them back, his eyes narrowing. All he had to do was start whispering "my precious" and he'd have Golem down to a T.
It seemed they were all taking it in turns to pass around the most embarrassing part of his childhood for their own sick amusement.
"I can't even imagine you in them!" This time her laugh wasn't forced back.
"Oh, I totally can," Artemis murmured haughtily, her eyebrows lifting slightly in a way that spoke volumes as her gaze dropped to his jean clad backside as if she was actually considering the idea, and liking it.
This clearly didn't sit well with the redhead next to them, who scowled at her comment, his cheeks burning a fierce scarlet that gradually worked its way over his face and spread over the tips of his ears. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better and clamped it shut. His gaze murderous.
Lips pressed into a thin line to hide his obvious amusement with the situation, Kaldur spoke carefully, "Robin, I am also rather curious as to why you have still kept them after all these years when they only seem to bring you shame?"
In fact, now that someone mentioned it, he hadn't kept the ridiculous scrap of material that wasn't even worthy of a stripper to wear. He thought he'd thrown them out years ago that day he and Wally went through all his junk and swore secrecy of never mentioning the scaly panties ever again. He grit his teeth at the speedsters sheepish smile who had the audacity to look guilty.
". . .Souvenir," he muttered with a meek shrug of his shoulders.
Desperately trying not to strangle him there and then, Dick clenched his hands into fists, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek and continued to have a glare down with Wally. He vaguely registered Artemis repress a chuckle and share a look with the Martian as they watched Conner fidget awkwardly before announcing under his breath something about finding Wolf and finishing the last coat of paint on his bike, even though they knew he'd finished that thing months ago.
With a lot less obviousness, Kaldur offered to help and followed the dark haired boy out of the living room with a wave of his hand, a ghost of a smile retained his lips.
Dick couldn't have been any more grateful.
A hand landed on his shoulder, fingers digging into the soft material of his green jacket. He turned and almost blanched at the devilish gleam in those gray eyes.
The hand slid made its descend over his bicep, slowly, until she reached the juncture of his elbow and hauled him unceremoniously closer so that she was practically sitting in his lap. She was really starting to scare him now. Like, more than usual.
"Put them on."
He nearly choked on his own breath as he stared at her wondering whether she'd taken too many blows to the head on yesterdays mission.
"What? Why?!" Dick managed to squeak. Then cleared his throat, lowering his eyes away from the pleading look she was giving him that was pretty adorable, actually. "No. Its not going to happen, 'Mis." His tone firm.
"I've got a better idea," Wally whizzed over to lean against the arm rest beside the blonde archer, his grin lazy as he waggled his eyebrows lecherously. "Why don't you model them for me, babe."
Jesus, did he have a death wish?
Repulsed at the thought, Artemis slapped him on the side of his head. "In your wildest dreams, Kid Pervert!"
"Guys, look what I found!"
They all turned to see M'gann holding out a neatly folded pile of what appeared to be the rest of his old get up. She picked out the obnoxiously bright lemon cape, admittedly a lot shorter than before, and let out a squeal.
"Oh my gosh! This is just too cute!" She gushed as she draped the fabric over her shoulders. "Why didn't you keep it with the new costume? You'd look all cute and cuddly and. . .squishy!"
Artemis held up the panties, and said in a low and appreciative voice, "Especially that ass of his." She let out a hum of approval and her smirk widened when his head whipped up in her direction, her eyes darkened, telling him she'd been observing enough to know.
M'gann wrinkled her nose. "Okay that's gross, Artemis."
"Pretty sure its classed as child molesting," Wally muttered, folding his arms across his chest with an irritated huff.
"Says the little pervert who kept all this crap," Artemis retorted with equal malice and her smug smirk only intensified when the speedster spluttered, his face turning an interesting shade of red that made his freckles more prominent. "Got a bit of an unhealthy obsession for Rob, Kid?"
"Not as much as you do for his ass."
"So you admit to it then? You do have a sick obsession?"
"Yeah Wally, why did you keep all of Robin's stuff?" M'gann interjected, avoiding another one of their daily scream offs.
"I-I, uh. . .blackmail?"
"Fanboy fantasies. I bet you totally imagine him parading around in nothing but those tight little panties," Artemis purred and sent Dick another wink, making it at least the tenth one of the night. He swallowed, face heating shamefully. "I know I will be."
Dear Lord in hell, someone save him.
E/N: Not quite sure if that was any good, it didn't really seem good when I went over it, but constructive critisism is always appreciated to help me out! I'd love to improve my writing and make it more enjoyable for you guys :)
