Idiosyncratic Drug Reaction
After the credits for Plato's Stepchildren - this fic assumes you have seen the episode. (if you somehow managed to miss this episode even though it has been rerun a kazillion times, try the Memory Alpha site for a description)
Standard disclaimers: Star Trek and its characters are not mine. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended, and no money exchanged hands.
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Captain Kirk had to hand it to Lieutenant Kyle. The man covered his surprise well when they beamed back to the Enterprise. Of the crew members, only McCoy was in uniform. The rest were dressed in faux-Grecian costumes, forced on them by the Platonians. Kyle didn't blink at Alexander either, the dwarf who had served as the Platonians' court jester and whipping boy for centuries.
Kirk strode up to the console and hit the comm button.
"Scotty?"
"Welcome back, Captain," said the obviously relieved engineer.
"Take the ship out of orbit now. Take her out to 30 AUs. We're going to drop some warning bouys before we leave this system."
'Which message shall we use on the buoys, sir?" asked Scott.
"Natives are hostile and dangerous," said Kirk.
"How about 'natives are sadistic bastards'?'" muttered McCoy.
"We'll fine tune the message before dropping the buoys. Kirk out."
He could here a concerned murmur from McCoy. As he turned away from the comm unit, he could hear the warble of McCoy's medical equipment, followed by a low, "Blast."
Nurse Chapel had turned a sickly, pale color, and was shaking uncontrollbably. McCoy was fishing though his medkit. Without looking up, he snapped, "Emergency blanket, now!"
Kirk hardly had to think about it. The lid of the emergency supplies cabinet popped open, and a blanket flew past the startled Kyle. McCoy caught it and gave Kirk a look that was half glare, half plea. He shook out the blanket and wrapped it around Chapel's shoulders. That was followed by a hypo. Kirk was relieved to see Chapel's color return to normal.
"I'm sorry," said Chapel, looking embarrassed. "I feel so...oh, I don't know. A fleet officer shouldn't be having hysterics in the transporter room."
"You're darn right," said McCoy. Chapel looked at him in surprise.
"I plan to have my major fit of hysterics after I get to my quarters. More dignified, don't you think?" They were now so close that their foreheads were touching. It was, thought Kirk, an intimate gesture from a man who was usually scrupulous to a fault when it came to keeping a professional distance between himself and his staff.
She managed a small laugh. "Yes, I think you're right."
"Darn right I am," he said gently. He looked at the others in the room. "Alright, everyone to sickbay, now."
"Doctor, I would prefer to..." McCoy interrupted Spock.
"Spock, please, no arguments, just this once?"
Kirk stopped any more objections from Spock with a slight shake of his head. "Let Bones have this one," said his expression.
"Where are we going?" asked Alexander, softly as if afraid of giving offense.
"Sickbay. Doctor McCoy just wants to check everyone out."
"Where should I wait?" asked Alexander.
"Wait?" asked Kirk, and then realized once again that Alexander was not used to being shown the least bit of consideration or kindness. He smiled reassuringly at their guest. "Everyone gets checked out when we come back to the ship. After that, we'll assign you a room. We can get started on the paperwork for your aslyum request tomorrow."
"Asylum?" Alexander's face bloomed with hope, but then fell. "Will my request be denied, do you think?"
"The Platonians attempted to coerce a Starfleet officer into abandoning his post by torturing his shipmates. You assisted us, as great personal risk. I believe that the chance of your request being denied is so low as to beyond calculation," said Spock.
"See, Spock's math is always right," said McCoy.
Spock raised one eyebrow. "Of course, Doctor."
McCoy snorted, and then made a shooing mostion with his hands. "Now, everyone to Sickbay." They all obediently walked to Sickbay, with McCoy following them like an anxious border collie. Kirk had a sudden image of McCoy nipping anyone who tried to make a break for it, and then squashed it firmly. Reaction, he thought.
They came through the sickbay doors, and McCoy was calling for his staff and barking orders and demanding equipment. Dr. M'Benga was called over, and there was a consultation that involved McCoy gesturing broadly at the others in sickbay. Alexander looked on in confusion.
"I, I thought he'd be happy," said Alexander.
"Oh, he is," Kirk assured him.
"I must concur," said Spock.
"But he's yelling and ordering people around," objected Alexander, who was obviously wondering if leaving Platonius had been a wise choice.
"That's how he shows he cares," explained Kirk.
Alexander's brow furrowed. "That doesn't make sense."
"Very little about the doctor does," said Spock.
The crowd of medical personnel around McCoy broke up. Dr. M'Benga came up to Spock, quiet and deferential, and said, "This way, sir," and gestured towards one of the examining rooms. Uhura and Chapel went off with Burke. McCoy yelled after them, "And don't forget to run the tox screen." Burke gave an acknowledging wave on her way down the hall.
Kirk looked at McCoy, puzzled. "Tox screen?"
"Oh, well according to Alexander here, the Platonians were on Earth at a time we Humans were putting all sorts of horrible things into cosmetics - lead, arsenic, mercury. I just wanted to make sure Chapel and Uhura weren't exposed to heavy metals."
The things his crew knew always amazed Kirk. He was the history buff, but this tiny bit of millenia old trivia was health-related, so of course Bones knew it. Kirk hopped on on one of the biobeds. Alexander looked up at the other table in dismay.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said McCoy, who then pressed a control on the side of the bed. Kirk raised his eyebrows when steps folded out from one side of the biobed. He had never seen that feature. Alexander climbed up the steps and sat on the bed.
"Why is this here?" asked Alexander, pointing at the steps. "Do your children travel with you?"
Kirk managed to bite back his laugh at McCoy's horrified face.
"What? Bring children out here on the edge of nowhere? " sputtered McCoy. Kirk interrupted before McCoy could alarm Alexander anymore than he already had.
"No, but several member species of our Federation have an average height lower than that of Earth Humans. The Perinnath, the Orodanga, the Hoka; well, the point is there are crew members, or potential crew members, who could use that feature," Kirk said.
This seemed to satisfy Alexander. McCoy went through the usual routine for them both, muttering to himself occasionally. He tapped some commands into the biobed's computer.
"If you wouldn't mind, Jim, would you try using those telekinetic powers?" he asked diffidently. "If you'd rather not, I understand."
"No, that's OK, Bones," said Jim. He concentrated on a pile of data chips on the desk in the room. They slowly rose into the air. With a little mental nudge, he made them form into a circle, and then he sent them spinning. He was rather pleased with the fine control.
"Hmm, interesting," said Bones, studying the readouts. "Can you lift something a bit heavier?"
"I don't know, Bones," he replied. "I see some of your equipment, but I'd hate to fill out the paperwork for replacements if the kironide stops working suddenly and I drop it all over the place. I could try lifting you," he said, and then regretted it immediately when he saw McCoy's face pale.
"Not very funny, Jim," said McCoy.
Kirk held up his hands placatingly. "Bones, I'm sorry. You're right, it was a joke in very bad taste."
McCoy ducked his head. "Sorry for over reacting, Jim. It's been a long day."
The door chime interrupted the awkward moment. The door slid open to show a short yeoman with a pile of clothing in her arms.
"Quartermaster's compliments, Doctor. Where would you like these, sir?"
"Leave the Captain's uniform here. You can take the rest to Nurse Burke."
"Aye, aye, sir. I was also told there was a guest who needed an escort to VIP quarters."
"Yes, that would be Alexander here," said McCoy. Alexander smiled tenatively at the young woman. "I'm done for now; you can show him to his quarters as soon as you drop off the uniforms, unless the Captain needs him for something else."
Jim shook his head. "No, anything else can wait until we've all had some rest."
"Aye, aye, sir," said the yeoman, who headed deeper into Sickbay.
"OK, Alexander, we're done here," said McCoy. Alexander had just started making his way down the steps when McCoy stopped him. "Wait." Alexander turned around and faced McCoy. Standing on the steps, Alexander was eye to eye with McCoy. Kirk smiled to himself and thought, "well played."
"I just wanted to thank you for all your help down there," said McCoy.
"I didn't do much," started Alexander. McCoy stopped him with an impatient wave of his hand.
"Nonsense. The fact that you've spent so much time with them and kept your decency and your sanity is impressive in and of itself. If I had been forced to stay there, the best case scenario would have been killing myself before the week was up."
Something in Kirk curdled at that sentence. Bones had said it with too much sincerity for it to be exaggeration.
"Best case scenario, Doctor?" asked Alexander. "What would the worst case be?"
"Becoming like them," spat out McCoy.
Alexander looked McCoy in the eye, and then nodded. "You're welcome, Doctor." The young yeoman popped her head into the room again.
"Ah, good, Yeoman Gammidge. You're just in time to escort our guest," said Kirk. "She'll show you to your quarters, how to use the equipment, that sort of thing."
"Thank you, Captain."
"It's the least we can do." They watched Alexander and Gammidge leave sickbay, Gammidge keeping up a cheery monologue about the Enterprise.
McCoy picked up a uniform and passed it to Kirk.
"Why don't you use the Sick Bay shower? The sooner you get out of that ridiculous getup, the better."
"Why, Bones, don't you think it suits me?" teased Jim.
McCoy tapped one finger on the gold uniform shirt. "This suits you, Jim," not a hint of teasing in his voice.
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The first thing Jim heard when got out of the shower area was the computer in the next room.
"Search results. No examples of kironide exposure at the stated levels found in medical or technical literature. Eight examples of the effects of lower levels of kironide exposure found in Federation medical journals."
"Summarize by species, levels, and effects," said McCoy.
"Working." As Kirk dried his hair and got dressed, he overheard bits and pieces of the summary.
"...thirty six humans, four Tell..., ...rians, one Vulcan...micrograms per liter...Cmax was...ninety-eight percent reported restless...cent rashes... severe...five pert...ed Stage I hypertention and two percent developed Stage II hyper ... ring hospitalization."
"Send copies to all medical personnel," said McCoy. Then the sound of a door, and Nurse Chapel's voice.
"I'm back in uniform, and ready for my shift, sir," she started.
"Nonsense," said Bones. "you're off for the evening. Lia said she'd take your shift. You rest up, I'll see you in the morning."
"If you're sure, Doctor," said Chapel.
"I'm very sure."
"Come on, Chris," said Uhura. "I have some chocolates in stasis. I think we deserve them after today."
"I have some wine. Your quarters or mine?"
"How about mine?"
Kirk waited until he heard the doors slide open and closed. He came out of the shower, straightening his shirt sleeves. McCoy was sitting on the edge of his desk, head bowed. Kirk cleared his throat.
McCoy raised his head. "Feeling better, Jim?"
Kirk shrugged, and glanced at the sick bay door. "Will Chapel be alright?"
"Yeah. Mild shock, not unexpected after being both frightened half to death and publicly humiliated to boot. You heard them; Chapel and Uhura are going to hash this whole thing out over wine and chocolates. By tomorrow the mandatory counseling session will be just a formality."
Jim felt himself make a face at the phrase 'mandatory counseling'. He sighed and said, "When do you want to see me?"
McCoy shook his head. "Nope, not me. I was involved, so I can't be the counselor of record. I recommend Burke; she won't accept any evasions, and she won't take guff from anyone, no matter how much braid they have on their sleeves."
"I've noticed that about her. Are you sure you two aren't related?"
"Not that I'm aware of. Anyway, I want you to wear this," McCoy said as he handed Jim a small medical monitor. "Your blood pressure is a bit higher than I like, but I think if you go back to your quarters to rest, it will be ok. Ask Spock over for a nice, quiet game of chess."
"Not just chess, right?"
McCoy smiled a little. "Yeah, Spock will show up for mandatory counseling since it's a regulation, but you're the only person he'll really talk to."
"OK, unofficial counseling session for one stubborn Vulcan, coming up." Jim turned towards the door.
"Captain?" said McCoy, in a formal tone of voice. Jim turned to him in surprise.
"Bones?'
"I just want you to know, if you bring me up on charges, I won't fight you on 'em. I'll just plead guilty, and save us all a lot of time."
Jim was flabbergasted. "Charges? What are you talking about?"
"Disobeying a direct order," said McCoy. Seeing that Kirk still wasn't following him, McCoy gave a little huff. "You told me, ordered me to not agree to the Platonians' demands, and I did. When I saw that red hot poker so close to Christine's face, and that whip; well, something just snapped. And the hell of it was, I knew you were one hundred percent right, but I just couldn't..." he trailed off, looking utterly miserable.
Kirk took two quick steps across the room and laid his hand on McCoy's shoulder. "Bones, the day my CMO stops caring about the crew's well-being, that's the day he's in trouble."
McCoy shook his head. "But that doesn't excuse my going against your orders."
"You should know, as well as anyone on this ship, that this wasn't a case of blatant insubordination."
They were interrupted by a deep voice behind them.
"The captain is correct, Doctor," said Spock's voice McCoy started. "It is not Fleet policy to punish personnel for succumbing to torture."
"They hardly touched me," mumbled McCoy.
"No, they just made you watch. A technique used by sadistic bastards everywhere, because it works," Kirk said. "Enough kicking yourself, Bones. I'm not throwing charges at you on top of everything else."
"Self-recrimination in this case is unnecessary and a waste of time and energy," added Spock.
"Aren't you going to tell me I'm being emotional and illogical, Spock?" said McCoy.
"That would go without saying. However, I find the notion of having a ship's medical officer being indifferent to the pain of others...disquieting," said Spock.
Kirk smiled and gave McCoy a pat on the back. "There then, that's all taken care of." He turned to Spock. "Has the kironide worked for you yet, Spock?"
"Yes Captain, I was able to move an object telekinetically during the exam with Dr. M'Benga."
"How about you, Bones? Anything yet?"
McCoy frowned and stared at the pile of data chips on the desk. He glared at them for several seconds and and then threw up his hands in frustration.
"Sorry, can't move them a centimeter, much less across the room." McCoy shrugged. "I guess I'll figure it out sometime. Of course, some drugs that work for some people don't work for others. Happens all the time."
"Ah, Doctor?" said Dr. M'Benga. "It's your turn."
Bones opened his mouth to object, and then clicked it shut then he saw Jim's sardonic look. "I'll be right there."
"Then I'll leave you in Dr. M'Benga's capable hands for now. See you in the morning, Bones?"
"Bright and early, Jim. And, thanks."
"Till tomorrow, then. Come on Spock, let's leave the medical people to their beads and rattles."
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Later in ship's evening, Spock stopped by Kirk's quarters to check on his commanding officer. They played chess, using their newly acquired telekinetic powers. Jim wasn't really surprised by Spock's fine control over the pieces.
"I think Bones was pretty shaken by today's events," said Kirk, moving a rook to the top level of the board.
Spock frowned slightly as he moved his knight to a stronger position. "The doctor must have found the prospect of a lifetime of servitude to such unethical beings most distressing."
"Bones has had a hell of a year," said Kirk. "The Vians, Yonada, and now this. We have to think up something nice for him." Before Spock could reply, Kirk's communication station buzzed. He hit the button to accept the call.
"Captain, could you please come down to Sickbay?" It was M'Benga's voice, sounding both concerned and puzzled.
Kirk sat up straight. "What's wrong?"
"It's Doctor McCoy. I'm not sure. I don't think it's an emergency, but..."
"I'll be right there. Kirk out." Spock stood up; obviously the chess game was over for now.
Kirk made it to Sickbay in record time, Spock at his heels. They found M'Benga leaning against the doorway to McCoy's office. He made a shushing motion, and then gestured for them to approach the door.
McCoy was asleep at his desk (not an uncommon occurrence), head resting on his arms. What was strange was that everything in his office was floating. Data chips and solids, styluses, his medical tricorder, the framed picture of his daughter - all were floating and spinning around him like some strange atomic model.
"It would seem that kironide does work for the doctor," said Spock.
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They introduced kironide, and then never used it again. You think the following incarnations of Trek would have had a passing mention, you know, "gives telekinetic powers, but also give you a rash, nausea (or other unpleasant side effect of your choice) like you wouldn't believe" or something. Any reason for it not being used on a regular basis, at least in situations where they could end up in an alien prison.
This episode is a stunning case of "Getting Crap Past the Radar" - this is about sadism, which apparentently went flying right over the heads of the Network Standards guys, bless their tiny little brains. (Not so in England, where, I've read, it was not even allowed to be broadcast for many years)
And no, I'm not having McCoy cuss a blue streak. I'm thinking TV in the 60s, which was a swear-free zone (though I'm fairly sure you couldn't use the word "bastards" on TV in the 60s). Besides, McCoy can make the word "sir" seem worse than the the most vile Klingon curse a fan can think of. (and I know you lot are an inventive bunch)
Lia Burke appears in some of Diane Duane's Star Trek novels.
And, now after writing this serious story, I have an idea for a humorous sequel, that is tenatively entitled "Leonard's and Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.