Disclaimer: I don't own CSI Miami, Ryan, Eric, Calleigh, or any characters from it. Don't sue me, please! I am not making any money off of this or anything!
First CSI Miami fanfic and I had to do it on Eric and Ryan, though there aren't actually that many fans of them. Still, hope someone reads this!
XX Ryan XX
I thought it was going to be a good day, or at least a good enough day for a CSI like me. But of course not, there are no good days for Ryan Wolfe. First of all, I was put on a crime scene with Eric Delko. I like Delko, but that was just the problem. I liked him too much and there was no way he would ever be interested in me. How do I know this? Well, I caught him and Calleigh making out in the parking lot just before work one day. And of course I had to be the good guy and promise Eric I wouldn't tell anyone.
Why did I have to be stupid enough to agree to that? No one knew how hard it was to watch Eric and Calleigh together. They would flirt, touch, and steal looks at each other. It made me sick to see that every single day. Especially having to work with Eric and pretend everything was okay.
"You okay?" Eric's voice reminded me of where I was. The hummer, that's right. Eric was driving, and they were headed out to the crime scene for the day. "Are you okay, Wolfe?"
Wolfe! I hated when Eric called me by my last name. I so desperately wanted to turn to Eric and scream at the top of my lungs that my name was Ryan, not Wolfe. When I turned to him though, I didn't yell at all. He was glancing over at me in the passenger seat, a worried expression on his face. Oh crap, I hadn't answered his question yet.
"I'm fine." I lied, trying to avert my eyes away from him.
He didn't believe me though, he was a CSI after all, "No your not. What's wrong?"
I sighed and tried to look at anything but him. My eyes landed on my stomach. Damn my changing metabolism. I was gaining weight again. This always happened to me! I would be skinny, then gain a bit of extra weight, then suddenly lose it all. I wasn't fat, but I definitely had roundness in the abdominal area.
"You're not fat."
I turned and narrowed my eyes at Eric, who was concentrating on the road now instead of me. I crossed my muscular arms (yes, I had finally grown muscles!) across my chest and titled my head to the side. "I never said I was."
He chuckled and shook his head slightly, "I heard you this morning. You were complaining about your weight to Natalia."
I grumbled and looked away again, he was right. I had been complaining about my weight to Natalia this morning. I was trying so hard to eat the right things and lose weight, but my belly just never went away.
"You're just healthy." Eric stated with a smile.
I laughed bitterly at this and stayed looking out the window, "That's what fat people say to make themselves feel better." I turned back to him with a glare, "Not like you understand, Mr. Swimsuit model."
Every word I spoke was bitter, but things had been like that for awhile. Ever since I found out about Eric and Calleigh, to be exact. And did Eric notice this? I doubt it. For a CSI, he was completely blind. Eric was just about the dumbest smart guy I have ever known.
"Swimsuit model, huh?" Eric asked playfully.
I didn't even bother to get embarrassed, just went back to bitterness, "Ya, I'm sure Calleigh loves it."
He seemed surprised by my answer. Alright, so he had noticed my bitterness over time, but he would never know why. Not that he even cared anyway.
"We got in a fight." He admitted, a frown appearing on his face.
"You'll get through it, you have history together."
Bitterness again. And once again, Eric was shocked by my response. That's right, I'm not that little kid on patrol anymore. I wasn't that naïve CSI beginner who let people step on me. I was no longer that irresponsible CSI who had a gambling addiction. I was stronger mentally and physically, and I would not be pushed around anymore.
To occupy myself, I pulled the mirror down and tried to fix my hair. It was gelled back, like I used to wear it back on patrol. People told me they liked my hair better when it was short and spiked, but I really didn't care anymore. I didn't care what people thought, especially not Eric. Okay, so I did care what Eric thought of me, but I would never tell him that. Speaking of the devil, he was looking at me.
"Ryan.." He said my first name, great. He only used it when he was annoyed by me, or if he was going to start a lecture. The last thing in needed was a lecture right now. I didn't even look at him, staring into the mirror at my own Hazel-green eyes. I hated my eyes, they were too bright and made me look too innocent. And my skin, why wouldn't it tan the right color?
"We're here." I stated, stopping his lecture. He looked out the window and nodded, I was right. It was a crime scene on the beach and a large area of it was surrounded by the yellow crime scene tape.
"Listen, Ryan.." But I was out of the hummer before he could say anything. He was trying to tell me something important, but I truthfully couldn't deal with his games today. I needed to concentrate on work today, nothing else.
"Hey, Randy." I greeted the cop, I knew him from my days on patrol. He smiled back at me, waving in response.
"Ryan, wait a second…" Eric was behind me again, following me like a stray puppy. I hated it, why wasn't he following calleigh around. I ignored him and ducked under the yellow tape, moving onto the crime scene. He ducked under it too, once again trying to get my attention.
Finally fed up with his attempt, I turned sharply around. Eric was surprised by my sudden halt and caught himself before he ran into me. I glared at him and leaned my face in close to his. He looked nervous, good. I remember a time when he used to tease me and treat me like crap, a time when I was shorter and weaker than him. But now I was muscled and almost taller than him. He had nothing on me, except for the fact I had strong feelings for him. But he didn't know that, so I could easily win in a fight.
"Listen." I hissed, pointing a finger in his face, "I don' have time for your bullshit today." His brown eyes widened when he heard me curse, "Whatever you have to say is not as important as this case, got that? So shut your mouth and let me do my job."
His eyebrows pulled together in frustration, but he nodded in response. I could see it in his face, he was wondering why I had grown so distant and angry these past couple of weeks. Once again I say, he was the dumbest smart person I had ever met. He was weaker too, Calleigh must have brought out the sensitive side of him. The thought made me sick, that was supposed to be my job. Speaking of calleigh, there she was.
"Howdy." I mentally cursed Horatio for this, why the hell did he put the three of us together? That's right, it was her. Calleigh, just the person I wanted to see. It's not like I didn't like her, I was just jealous of her.
She seemed to notice the distant look on my face, "You okay, Ryan?"
I just shrugged, dropping my kit onto the sandy ground. I could see her looking at Eric, mouthing 'What's up with him?', but Eric just shrugged at her and replied 'Later.' Later, that's right, they would be seeing each other later that night. In bed, no doubt. That's how classy Eric was.
"I'll take the vehicle." I stated, pointing towards the small car that had flipped over onto the sand. I didn't wait for a reply as I pulled my camera strap around my neck. I was at the vehicle in no time, rushing to get away from the couple. That's right, they actually were a couple, weren't they?
I tried to occupy myself with the crime scene. There was a large dent at the side of the car, most likely the impact from another car. If it was an accident, the person wouldn't have just walked away and left the body there. Or maybe they got scared and ran off? Then I noticed something inside of the dent.
"Hey, Calleigh!" I called, deciding it was best to talk to her instead of Eric. I wanted to avoid Eric at all costs. Calleigh turned her head towards me, as well as Eric, and waited for an explanation as to why I called her. "Come see this!"
It wasn't a suggestion, and she caught on to it being an order. I could see her give Eric a look before she stood up and came over to my side. She spoke in her southern accent, "What's up?"
I pointed to the large dent, "What's that?"
"A dent?"
"No," I grumbled, annoyed by her bluntness. I was a CSI for god's sake, of course I knew what a dent was! I continued with more patience, "What's inside of it?"
She looked into it and raised an eyebrow, "A black paint transfer?"
"That's all you see?" I asked, testing her skills.
She just shrugged, "I don't see anything, Ryan."
I sighed, knowing exactly why she couldn't see it, she wasn't crazy like I was. My OCD prevented me from missing any spot, even the smallest. It made it very irritating when I cleaned my house. Suddenly getting an idea, I opened a kit and pulled out a magnifying glass, handing it to her.
Then I pointed, "Take a look."
She looked through the magnifying glass carefully and her brow creased, it did that when she was thinking.
"There's a small transfer of red paint inside of the black paint transfer." She stated looking at me curiously.
Eric decided to chime in at this time, "The vehicle that collided with this one must have had a paint job done recently. That narrows it down." He smiled and placed a hand on my shoulder, "Good eye, Wolfe."
"Thanks." I mumbled without any emotion in my voice, shrugging his hand off of my shoulder.
He looked shocked as I stood up and moved to the other side of the car than him.
"Ryan.." He was cut off as Calleigh spoke up.
"The car belongs to a woman named Marjorie Kendall." Calleigh stated, looking more at me than Eric, "She had just left her house when she got in an accident."
Eric nodded at this, "So, where's her house?"
"There." Calleigh pointed and both Eric and I looked at her in shock.
"That close?" I asked in disbelief, "She really did just leave her house before the accident."
There was a moment of awkward silence between the three of us. Eric and Calleigh were looking at each other like they were having some mental conversation and I couldn't understand what the looks they were sending each other meant. It made me feel like I didn't belong, like that whole third wheel thing. And it was true, I never belonged on this team. Tim Speedle belonged here, he was meant to be on the team with his friends forever. I thought that they'd learn to like me, that I would belong. But here I was, years later, feeling the same as the day I was hired as Speed's replacement.
Why did Horatio have to put me on the same case as these two? It was killing me to see them looking at each other that way. I didn't belong, I knew this, and I never would. Not the way they did.
"I'll take care of the body until Tara gets here." Calleigh's voice made me jump, coming out of my thoughts and back into the real world.
I hated the real world.
"You two should go to the victim's house, you might find something." She was eyeing Eric when she said this and he smiled back at her. Oh no, now I understood what their little mind conversation was. They were trying to get Eric and I alone so we could talk. Great, that's exactly what I needed right now.
"Sure." I agreed. Well, I couldn't just decline it, could I? It was my job, and saying no was very unprofessional. Being organized and professional was the only reason I had survived these long years as Speed's replacement. Though people denied it, I knew I was still compared to the great Tim Speedle.
Eric was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, and seeing him that happy over me made my stomach churn. It wasn't a good feeling like usual, it made me feel like throwing up. Why did he have to do this to me? It just wasn't fair for him to treat me so well when he had a girlfriend like calleigh.
"Let's go." I grumbled, grabbing a hold of my kit and turning away from Eric. I could tell he saw the look on my face, it made me look sick. I was sick, I liked my male partner. What was wrong with me?
I could hear Eric's footsteps in the sand behind me and I didn't dare look back. My stomach was still starting to settle and the last thing I needed was to throw up on Eric, or maybe tell him something I shouldn't. The only thing worse than vomit was word vomit, and I had kept this secret since the nail gun incident. There was no way I was telling him now.
It was about a 5 minute walk to the victim's house, so she lived extremely close. The patio door was opened when we got there, so it was easy for us to slip in.
"House is a mess." Eric stated from behind me, "Most likely a struggle."
I nodded in response, not caring if he could see it or not. There was a lump in my throat that stopped me from saying anything. Something was wrong, I could feel it. Last time I had felt this way I had been shot in the eye with a nail, so I had a right to be scared.
I tried to ignore the feeling as I stepped farther into the house. Eric was behind me, I could feel him watching me, but I still felt unsafe. When I had been shot I had walked into a crime scene without my gun drawn, and here I was doing the same thing.
That's when I saw it. To normal people it was just a nail gun, but to me it was a weapon. It was lying on the ground, no one was holding it up to shoot me, but my brain immediately told me it was danger. My body reacted quickly and my hand went straight to my side. My gun was drawn in minutes and I held it up to the nail gun, my finger on the trigger and ready to fire at any moment.
"Whoa, Whoa, Wolfe," Eric was at my side in seconds, his hand trying to steady my gun, "What's going on?"
I didn't say a word, I didn't really need to. Because Eric looked at what I was aiming at and frowned. He knew what was going through my head at the time because he knew what I had gone through. I was still uncomfortable being near construction sites and, to tell the truth, I had nightmares about that day every night.
"Ryan.." He used my first name again, and I lowered my weapon back to my side. "Are you okay?"
I turned away from him, completely embarrassed, "Fine."
He was at my side again, looking worried as he stared at me. I was rubbing my eye, it suddenly felt like the nail was in it again. That happened sometimes, I think it was just my mind playing tricks on me. I hated feeling weak, and that's the way I felt at that moment. I had just let my walls down to the person who could hurt me the most. My horrible childhood made my OCD bad, but Eric's constant teasing when I had started as a CSI was the reason I had created the wall. I was trying to keep him out, and here I was letting my guard down.
He put a hand on my shoulder and I quickly pushed it off. There was that sick feeling in my stomach again, damn him for making me feel that way.
"Ryan.."
"I said I was fine, Delko!" I hissed, moving farther away from him, "Stop smothering me!"
He was taken aback for a second before he countered me, "Smothering you? I'm just trying to help you! What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting so bitter?"
"Bitter?" I said the word in disgust, "I'll show you bitter!"
My anger was getting the best of me and I leaned my face in close to his, "Screw you, Delko!"
He stared in disbelief, he couldn't believe I had just yelled in his face. I took advantage of his weakness and quickly planned my exit. I couldn't stay there with him, not like this. He could easily do something to break me down, and I was already taking a risk.
My wall was back up in seconds, and I said in the most professional way, "I'll take the upstairs, you can handle down here by yourself."
Eric didn't argue, just watched me leave. I hurried up the stair and away from him, taking the steps two at a time. He didn't say anything as I disappeared into a room upstairs. I leaned against the nearest wall, leveling out my breathing. I had to calm down, I couldn't risk another explosion like that. What if Eric told Horatio? I'm sure Eric would get a warning, but me? I was different than anyone else and I would probably lose my job. Everyday was a constant competition for Horatio's attention and I never got it.
I hated my life.
After I had calmed down, I decided to start my job. I couldn't put it off anymore, now could I? Horatio wouldn't like it if I came back with nothing. He honestly wouldn't care if I brought something back with me, I was just Mr. Wolfe, not Eric or calleigh.
"Bedroom has traces of semen." I spoke into my recorder, I loved recorders. I could easily listen to it later when I needed help with evidence. I collected the sample of semen and continued, "Semen looks fresh, couldn't have been here over an hour."
Smiling in satisfaction, I continued to looks over the bed. "No traces of fingerprints or blood in the bedroom."
When I was sure I was done, I walked out into the hallway again. Eric was muttering to himself downstairs, but I really didn't care what he was saying. I'm sure it was about me, and I didn't want to hear it. I was also sure he was mad about having to look around downstairs, I knew there would be less evidence there than the upstairs. That's not why I picked it though, I just wanted to stay away from the damn nail gun.
Where there's a nail gun, there are nails. Where there are nails, there are crazy mothers who would shoot you in the eye with a nail to protect her son. Don't believe me? Trust me, it happens.
I moved on to the next room, which looked like a game room. There was a pool table, dartboard, flat screen TV, lots of video games and a giant leather couch. I wish my house looked like it, but CSI is not exactly the most well-paying job, though lots of people think it is. Obviously, you can tell from my whining, that I don't have an ideal life.
"The game room has large traces of blood, it seems there was a confrontation in here." I spoke into the recorder again, "Not sure if the blood belongs to the victim yet, but the person left a blood trail behind."
I didn't click the recorder off as I bent down to take a sample of the blood trail. If the blood belonged to the attacker, trace would find that out later.
"Blood trail leads outside of the room-" I was cut off by a banging noise. I looked around, but there was no one in sight. Going to the doorway, I called downstairs, "You alright, Delko?"
"I'm fine, Wolfe." He called back to me, I could easily hear the irritation in his voice. Well, I had told him to screw off.
I hear another bang, followed by a shuffling sound. I looked around again, but there was nothing.
"Are you sure?" I called again, figuring it was still just Eric.
Eric growled at this, "Just do your job, Wolfe!"
I glared down the stairs. Though I couldn't see him, my glare was directed at Eric. I figured he could feel it. I sighed, realizing I was being a total hypocrite. I had just done the same thing to Eric, so why would I be mad at him for doing it back?
I walked back into the game room, I was obviously defeated and didn't want to start another fight. I needed my wall at times like these.
"Found a fingerprint on the controller..." I said into the recorder, pulling out a fingerprint lifter. I stuck it on, pressing down so it would get a good fingerprint. When I peeled it off, I smiled. "Beautiful." I stated, placing the fingerprint safely into my kit.
There was that banging sound again, and I didn't know where it was coming from. I stood up straight, looking around and reaching for my gun. There was still no one, what was going on? Was I hearing things?
I suddenly felt like I was being watched. I whipped around, expecting to see an empty room or Eric behind me. But there it was, a gun pointing right at me. I didn't have time to think because, well, I had a gun pointing at me. I was suddenly back on patrol, my body moving without me even knowing it.
I dived for the couch, desperately trying to get away from the line of fire. I heard the loud "CRACK!" as the gun was fired. I landed beside the couch, my face hit the wood floor with a loud BANG! Ignoring the pain, I crawled behind the couch. I sat up and leaned my back against the couch. I could hear swearing from my attacker, he must have been a beginner because he wasn't ready for the gun to fire.
I had my gun drawn and I was ready to shoot if he came near me. My nose was causing me some pain and I figured I had probably broken it. My quick thinking had gotten me out of being shot, but my nose was bleeding all over my nice suit. Great, just great! I didn't have the money to buy another one! Wait, why was I thinking about that at a time like this?
I could hear footsteps, my attacker was coming towards the couch. I closed my eyes shut tightly, willing the pain to go away. My breathing was heavy, due to the fact that I couldn't breathe out of my nose and I could feel sweat covering my face. Why was this happening? This guy was going to kill me!
"Wolfe!" My heart dropped at the sound. Eric! No, not Eric! He must have heard the gunshot because I could hear him running up the stairs. He was coming to save me, damn him for being so stupid!
I could barely swallow, there was a giant lump in my throat. My attacker had stopped advancing on me, he had a new target now. Eric, he was after Eric!
I had to decide what to do and I had to decide now. If I moved, I would surely be shot and probably killed. But if I stayed in hiding, Eric would be shot…again. My mind replayed that event in my head. Eric had been shot. He had lost some memories and had to relearn everything. He had almost died, and all I could do was watch him lay in his hospital bed.
I wouldn't let that happen again, not to Eric. I wouldn't sit around and let it happen again. I was here this time, and I would not watch it happen.
"Wolfe!" He was rounding the corner to the door, almost in the line of fire. It was now or never, I knew this. I bit back the pain as I pulled myself up off the ground. I was running, I remember running. I should thank my patrol officer for making me train hard. I would never be able to run so fast if it wasn't for my patrol training.
I surged forward, reaching the door in less that a second. I reached the doorway as soon as Eric did and before he had time to react, I was throwing myself on top of him. There was another gunshot that I could hear behind me as I tackled Eric to the ground. There was excruciating pain in my back as Eric and I hit the ground. But it wasn't over for me, because Eric and I did a roll.
My head hit the wood floor as we rolled and it made my mind fuzzy. My neck was bent in a weird way, I guess it was because Eric had rolled on top of me and his weight had pushed down on it. When we finally stopped rolling, I ended up lying on something warm and comfortable. My head was spinning and before I could do anything else, my eyes rolled back in my head.
Then it was black.
XX Eric XX
I was angry, to say the least. Damn Ryan, how could he just yell at me like that when I was trying so hard to help him. And only a few minutes later, he was calling down asking me if I was alright. He was the one who was banging around upstairs, not me.
I sighed and went back to the evidence. He got most of the evidence upstairs, the only thing I got was an escape route. A few fingerprints were on the doorknobs, but that was it.
I was bored and I found my mind drifting to Ryan. Ever since the whole calleigh and me thing he had been acting strange. He was angry all the time and everything he said was bitter. I didn't understand why he was so mad. Was he jealous because I was spending so much time with calleigh? No, Ryan never seemed like the jealous type.
I jumped as my phone rang, snapping me out of my thoughts. I pulled it out and put it to my ear, "Delko."
"Hey, Eric." I recognized Calleigh's southern voice on the other end, "Tara just got here, so I'm coming over to the house. I'll bring the patrol officer too."
I smiled at this, "Alright, Calleigh. I'll see you in-"
I was cut off by a loud "CRACK!" and I could tell it was definitely a gun being fired. My heart sped up when I heard the "BANG!" that soon followed the gunshot.
"Eric!" Calleigh was calling me through the phone, but I didn't care. I dropped it in shock, hearing it crash to the floor. Before I knew it, my gun was out and I was running up the stairs.
"Wolfe!" I cried, but there was no answer. My mouth suddenly felt dry. What if Ryan wasn't okay? What if he had been shot. No, I didn't want to think about that. I had already lost Speed and there was no way I was losing another friend.
"Wolfe!" I was getting closer to the door now, running as fast as I could to Ryan. I could hear the door downstairs open and I knew it was Calleigh and the officer coming to help us.
I rounded the corner to the door, ready to shoot. But something stopped me, or should I say someone. I was expecting to see the attacker with a gun, but instead I saw Ryan. Well, felt him was more like it. He was suddenly tackling me to the ground. I could hear a gunshot go off from behind him, but I couldn't tell where it went.
We were rolling together, I could hear the banging sound as we hit the ground. I landed o n something round and it dug into my back. At the time I didn't know it, but I found out later that it had been Ryan's head.
We finally stopped rolling and my back was aching like crazy. Ryan had landed on top of me and his head fell down onto my chest. I was happy we were stationary because it was making the pain in my back go away.
Then there was a man with a gun, running out of the room Ryan had been in. He raised his gun to us, ready to shoot.
"Eric!" It was Calleigh, and before I knew it she had fired at our attacker. He hit the floor instantly, the gun falling from his hand with a loud thumping noise.
The patrol officer ran passed us, grapping the gunman by his arm and pulling him up. The man was still alive, I could tell, but he had a bad gunshot wound to his leg. We were safe now and I took this time to check myself for injuries.
"You okay, Eric?" Calleigh asked.
I nodded, "A few bruises in my back, but I'm fine." I tried to get up, but realized I couldn't. Ryan was still on top of me and he was pretty heavy. "Wolfe?"
He didn't answer, he was completely limp on top of me. "Wolfe?" I touch the head that lay on my chest, but he still didn't move or answer. When I pulled my hand away, it was covered in blood.
"Calleigh!" I called to her, and she was beside me in seconds, "He hit his head pretty hard, he's bleeding!"
"Okay," Calleigh began to search Ryan, but her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh GOD!"
I stared at her in shock, "What? What's wrong?"
She didn't answer, but she pulled off the jacket she was wearing. I watched as she wrapped the jacket around Ryan and tightened it. Was she trying to stop the bleeding? But she hadn't wrapped the jacket around Ryan's head.
"Call an ambulance!!" She screamed to the patrol officer, not waiting for a reply as she went back to helping Ryan.
"What's going on? Calleigh! Tell me what's wrong!" I was starting to panic, something was eating away at my stomach.
"Ryan's been shot!" She cried, she was panicking to, "He's losing a lot of blood!"
"Let me help!" I tried getting up, but she pushed my back down. I could feel the anger swelling up, "What?!"
"He has neck damage!" Calleigh growled, I was going to get a long lecture later on yelling at her. "If you move, you might snap it!"
My heart suddenly dropped into my stomach. Why was this happening? Why was Ryan bleeding to death on top of me? How had it ended like this?
"Support his head, Eric!" I did as I was told, not bothering to argue with her. Once his head was supported, we were able to move him off of me and onto the wood floor. I was up in a flash and was over at Ryan's side.
I could see it now, the bullet hole in his back. I hoped god that it hadn't hit Ryan's spine, I didn't want him to be paralyzed if he made it through this. If, I hated that word. Ryan had to survive. He was my best friend, though I had never admitted it to him. I had already lost Speed and had finally moved on. But it ended up here, with Ryan bleeding to death at my feet.
I was on my knees now, trying to stop the bleeding. Calleigh had a gauze from her kit and was wrapping it around Ryan's bleeding head.
"Ryan, can you hear me?" I was whispering to him and I didn't even know it. There was no response, so I went on, "You have to fight, Ryan. Don't give up, please. You're going to be okay."
Calleigh was looking at me funny, but I didn't care. Ryan was dying, I could tell. His neck was bent in a weird way and I knew it was going to bruise a lot if Ryan made it. Dammit, there was that word again. Stop thinking about the 'ifs', Delko! Focus!
"Come on, Ryan. You can do it." It was Calleigh this time, her eyes were starting to water as the blood seeped through the gauze and onto her hands.
I could hear the door slam open downstairs and I could feel relief wash over me, the ambulance was here.
"Eric! Calleigh!" it was Horatio, I knew he would come.
"Here, H!" I called back. I heard him order the paramedics and then they were running up the stairs carrying a stretcher.
One of the paramedics pushed me aside, pulling the jacket off of Ryan's back. He looked shocked and called out, "Gun shot wound! He's lost a lot of blood!"
The other paramedics were there now, grabbing on to Ryan to pull him onto the stretcher. They got him on the stretcher carefully, having to place him on his stomach for easy access to the wound. One paramedic placed a brace around Ryan's neck while the others started to carry him down the stairs.
"What happened?" Horatio asked, but I ignored him. I ran passed his, following the stretcher outside.
Ryan's going to be okay, I told myself, trying to steady my breathing. I felt nauseas and the blood that soaked me wasn't helping. Just calm down, Ryan's okay.
"We're losing him!"
I didn't know I had stopped breathing, I was too busy watching Ryan. The paramedics were working hard on him, trying to get him to breath. He was obviously not cooperation, damn him for being so stubborn!
"There's no heartbeat!"
Then I was running forward, my heart beating so fast in my chest that it hurt. What did they mean no heartbeat? Ryan couldn't be dead!
When I reached the stretcher, Ryan's shirt was open. Ryan had been right, he was starting to gain weight, but it was barely noticeable. The paramedics had the paddles out and I could feel my eyes burning. No, I would not cry! Not in front of them. I could wait until later, like I had for Speedle.
"Clear!"
My heart was jumping just like Ryan's body. They had to turn him on his back to use the paddles, so the wound was blocked by the stretcher.
"No response!"
The tears were falling now. I wasn't a crier, not in front of people at least. When Tim had died, I had hid it until later, and when Marisol had died, I had only shed a few angry tears in front of Horatio. But this was different, this was Ryan. I didn't just feel sad, I felt like my heart had been ripped out, thrown onto the ground and stomped on. It hurt more than anything I had ever felt before. It was worse than any death in my life or the gunshot to my head.
"Ryan!" I felt like I was watching myself outside of my body, I was doing things without even knowing it. I didn't know I was running forward until Horatio grabbed onto me, pulling me back.
"Clear!"
Ryan's body jumped on the stretcher again, but there was still no response. I was struggling to get out of Horatio's arms, I needed to get to Ryan. Maybe if I went to him, he would wake up. Ryan would wake up for me, right?
"Eric!" Horatio and Calleigh were yelling at me, telling me to calm down, but I couldn't. My crying had intensified without me even knowing and I couldn't control it anymore. Screw my pride, Ryan was dead!
"Wake up, Ry!" I screamed, not even knowing I had used his nickname. "Please, wake up! This can't happen again!"
"We got a heartbeat! Get him on his stomach and into the ambulance!"
I could feel air going back into my lungs as relief washed over me. Ryan was alive, he was alive. The ambulance was driving away and Horatio had let go of me. My legs were shaking and I suddenly couldn't hold my weight up anymore. Before I knew it, I had fallen onto the ground.
"Eric!" Calleigh was on her knees at my side, and when I looked at her I could tell she was scared. I had scared her and she was now crying.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, my voice was hoarse from my breakdown, "I'm sorry."
Her arms were around me then and I was to exhausted to be the strong one. I was crying as she held me and I could hear her whispering things in my ear to calm me down.
"I can't do it again." I cried, "I lost Speed and Marisol, I can't lose him!"
"I know, calm down." She comforted, stroking my back. I was crying so much that I was choking on the air I was breathing. At the moment, I didn't care who saw me breaking down. I knew Tara was there with Horatio, staring with wide-eyed shock at the scene in front of her. Eric Delko was breaking down, what a sight.
"Come on, Eric." Calleigh was picking me up, pulling me towards the Hummer, "We'll go to the hospital."
All I could do is nod in response. If Ryan wasn't okay, I didn't know what I would do. It would be good to go see him, to know that he was alive.
If he was alive.
XX End XX
That's the first chappie, hope you enjoyed it. If so, stay tuned for the second chapter coming soon!