Hey, it's my birthday! And since it's my birthday, I thought I'd upload this. It is from Kyrie's POV. Just read and find out what it's about. There is some hinted, only hinted, DantexNero. Not what I'm used to writing, but I thought I'd go for it.
And in case you're wondering, I procrastinated and didn't send this to my Beta.....(shame on me). I just really wanted to have it up today^_^
Disclaimer: I do not own DMC, its characters, etc. Capcom owns all.
No Warning.
Do you know what I haven't done in some time?
I haven't taken the time to sing. It isn't a bad thing, necessarily, but I used to sing everyday. It just doesn't make me feel the way it used to. Singing made me feel joyful and full of spirit. Almost the way I feel when I'm around you. I sigh. It isn't the lack of singing ,now, that I really ponder about it. I guess I just didn't want to say it before….
I've been watching you. You've been so different since that dark time in Fortuna's history: When his Holiness went against what was right and brought demonic powers to our city. You helped rebuild the church with only half your heart. When we shared our first kiss, there was this tiny feeling that, just maybe, your heart was not fluttering for me. I ignored it, my dearest. I knew it was probably just your fatigue and awe that made such a feeling.
I wonder if you're demon side has had any effect on you. I sometimes wonder if it can cause you to act the way you do now. No. Of course it hasn't. How silly to say such a thing. I know better than that. I sigh, though. I really can't put my finger on it.
I sit by the fireplace with my favorite book, but my book goes unattended as I watch you. You're gazing out the window again. Why do you do that so often, now? It seems that every chance you get to rest, you seat yourself on that same window seat, the one that faces the sea, and gaze off into the distance. Are you searching for something? What are you searching for, dearest? What lies beyond that horizon? Are you yearning for something that isn't here?
I want badly to have more insight of what you feel. It isn't that you have become distant, but that you just seem to be interested in other things now. Sitting my book aside, I make my way over to where you are. This time, your eyes don't leave that window like they usually do. Those enchanting blues stay focused on the outside world. I lay a hand on our shoulder and you look at me, only for a moment, and smile lightly.
I want to know why, but I don't want to ask. Lately, I have felt that you've wanted what I always thought you would: you want out. You want to be free from this place so that you can explore the world, see the sights, and experience all the things that life has to offer. I know you well, of course. Your heart must ache knowing that Fortuna doesn't hold what you desire. Fortuna has always, to some extent, been a place of ridicule and uncertainty for you. I've always wanted to change that for you, but what am I to do?
I stay standing by your side. I gaze out that window, too. I have wondered what's out there myself. Alas, Fortuna is my home and I never want to leave it. You, though…you long to be elsewhere. But…
A sigh escapes your lips and you lean forward with your chin against the dark blue of your demonic hand. There's something you desire more than to just be free of this community. I don't know what it is. I have felt that desire for some time. Though it was small in the beginning, it has grown over time. I can feel it even now. Is that why you stare at the horizon? Is there something over the sea, beyond that setting sun, that you wish to be tangible? Is it even a something? Is what you desire a who and not a what?
"What is it, Kyrie?" You pat my hand as it sits on your shoulder.
I hesitate to say anything. I keep getting this feeling that I'm holding you back. It makes me feel uneasy and unfair. Who am I to keep you where you feel you shouldn't be. I silently swallow my fears and answer you, "What's out there, Nero?"
You seem to expect, yet not expect, that question. You're eyes do not travel to mine and I feel you're shoulder tense just slightly. Is this difficult? What have you to say? Would it hurt me? Are you afraid you would make me cry?
"The sea", you reply, "looks pretty when the sun is setting. Call me sissy for saying if you want". You laugh.
I sense the note of melancholy in your voice. My hand finds the pendant you gave to me. I run my finger along the smooth gold, remembering how you were then. I know what it is, Nero. There's a passion within you that isn't for me. I think that, just maybe, I've known this all along. Perhaps, even when you looked out that window for the first time. I will not lie to you, sweet. I feel a little pain in my heart when I think about what you're feeling.
But, it is unfair of me. It truly is unfair. You've given so much to me and I have given hardly anything in return. You're spirit shines so bright, Nero. You have an adventurer inside you that yearns to go forth and leave all this behind you. Who am I to keep you here? You should be free and unbound. Even if it pains me to let you go, I would rather you be happy.
I wipe away the tear that had fallen from my eye. You look at me with such concern. I'll always love you, Nero. Nothing will ever change that, but you need to be where you feel belong. That place isn't here. Wherever you want to go, you should go. Whoever has stolen your heart needs to know what treasure they have in you. I laugh a little and place my hands on you face.
"Kyrie" you say quietly, "Why are you crying?"
I shake my head and kiss your cheek. "Nero", I smile, "Why do you stay here when you know you don't want to be here?"
You seem taken aback, but your eyes tell me "Thank you". You begin to speak, but I stop you.
"What ever, or whoever, you want is waiting for you out there", I motion toward the bay window, "Go find it."
You place a hand on top of mine. "I can't leave you…"
I turn from you and clutch the pendant. You know you can. Even now you try to car so much for me. I admire you so much for it, my dearest. With those pesky tears threatening again, I realize what I have to say. "Go, Nero. I want you to be free. You're a brighter soul than anyone in this city….even me. I want you to be happy, my dearest. Go find your happiness. It's the best gift you could give to me."
The next things that happen don't really register in my head, but my heart feels like it's exploding. I know this is the right thing. You have to go. You can't stay here. You'll lose your beautiful spirit if you stay here. The next thing I know, I'm waving you goodbye and wiping my eyes with a handkerchief.
I hope, deep in my heart, that you find what you need. I don't know what will happen. Maybe I don't want to know.
But, as long as you find peace and happiness that's all that matters to me.
I watch you go and I feel this odd sensation that I really do know what it is you desire so much. It would be frowned upon in Fortuna. It makes my heart wrench to think that someone besides me would hold your heart, but like I have said so many times….I just want you to find what makes your heart and spirits soar.
You made me happy….it's time for you to be as happy as I have been. Whether it be alone, or if my suspicions have been correct, with a man such as yourself.
Farwell, my dearest. May you find what you truly desire.
