Title: Plague
Summary: Daryl learns to live and deal with his new life, but Merle can't and won't accept it.
Notes: This is in the same world as my previous fic 'Beginnings'. You don't have to read that first as this story will make sense without it.
Young Daryl fic, so pre-walkers. A couple of OC's. Abuse of a minor.
He didn't want to leave.
The last day of school saw the majority of kids excited to be leaving the place that they hated being all day and the prospect of being free for weeks now the school year was over. For Daryl, this year he didn't want to leave.
Last year he had his family to spend his time with but this year they were all gone. His grandparents were gone forever and Merle was in juvvie and not set to come out for a few weeks yet. He wasn't sure when he was getting out. He was never told anything more than the fact he'd be out soon.
That meant that he was home with Uncle Jed. A man he didn't even know of until his Dad had left him and Merle alone. Then Merle went and got himself into trouble making them find someone to take care of the unresolved problem- Daryl.
From what Daryl gathered, Jed had volunteered to do it finding out his nephew had been left alone but Daryl couldn't settle with the man. He didn't feel at ease with him.
"Hey, time you got going," Mr Dawkins said. He was stood in the rooms doorway, Daryl the only one left in there now, still sat at the desk.
Daryl didn't say anything, just faked a smile as he grabbed the few things still on his desk and started putting them into his bag.
The teacher hesitated by the door, before coming inside and going to his own desk at the front of the room. "You know the quiz today? Well, there was supposed to be more time and I actually bought an extra prize for the other quiz. Seems a shame to waste it so here, you want it?" He held out a book towards the young boy.
Daryl had finished packing his things away and headed slowly to the front, eyes darting between the book and the the kind eyes of the teacher.
The cover of the book showed two dogs and Daryl looked at it, now in his hands instantly intrigued by what adventures were in these pages.
"It's called The Plague Dogs," the teacher told him. "It's good."
"Thanks," Daryl said, putting the book under his arm and heading for the door.
It wasn't long before he was outside and he walked along the familiar route home, looking at the book. He looked at some of the pages and read some of the words before his brow creased slightly. It seemed a little complex for him, but then figured he'd just skipped and it wouldn't make such sense like that so stuffed it in his bag with the rest of his school bits and headed home.
Home. It used to be that but right now it was just a building. When he got home from school, Jed would ask him about his day, and how long he had until he was off school. He asked about his friends and who he hung out with after school and there were a few kids that Daryl hung around with at school but he never spent much time with them after school. He had spent some weekends with Mickey who only lived a few houses away from him but he was going away to visit some family for most of the holiday and Daryl was resigned to being alone for a lot of the holiday.
As always when he got home, Jed had something cooking. He wasn't very good, but he put some meat and veg in the oven and it was edible although never had the taste from Nana's cooking. He didn't complain of course because whatever they got was better than being so hungry you had to resort to stealing. He'd end up like Merle.
Daryl went to his room and put his school stuff away in the cupboard looking forward to not needing it for a long time. When he went back downstairs, Jed was dishing up and Daryl grabbed his plate of food when it was ready and they sat down in front of the TV and ate. Daryl was happy to be distracted by the TV but he started to notice Jed watching him. He wondered if he was doing something wrong and looked towards the older man. "What?"
He shook his head and turned back to the TV. "I'm gonna go out for a while tonight. You'll be okay?"
Daryl nodded, mouthful of food stopping him from speaking.
"I don't want you staying up late. I'll probably be back by 10."
"'kay," Daryl mumbled.
The rest of the meal was spent with both of them paying more attention to the TV than the other person.
The sound of the door slamming startled Daryl awake.
He had fallen asleep in front of the TV and looking up at the clock on the wall, he saw it was past midnight. He craned his neck toward the door. "Merle?"
Jed stumbled round the corner, clearly drunk. In his sleep filled mind, Daryl had forgotten about him. The reminder was not a pleasant one. He got up and quickly switched the TV off.
"Best get to bed," he mumbled tiredly.
"Yeah? Why bother, you ain't got school tomorrow. Stay up with ol' Jed and watch some TV. I'll show you the real good stuff, huh?"
"No thanks," Daryl said passing by the man.
He hadn't expected him to grab hold of him. Jed had always given him a wide berth, so the sudden tight grip on Daryl's wrist was reminder that the man was a lot stronger than he was. Merle was always telling him not to piss people off. Apparently he wasn't so good at that.
He looked away from the man, didn't want to smell the alcohol on his breath or see the glazed look in his eyes. The grip on his arm was gone and he stumbled past Daryl to the seat he'd just left.
"Get me a beer," he asked.
Daryl went and got one from the fridge handing it to Jed, making sure he didn't get too close as he handed it to him. But Jed's attention was back on the TV as he flicked between two channels trying to decide what to watch.
Daryl quickly made his way upstairs hoping that tonight was a one off.
There was a stray dog that scavenged at the bins near his house and Daryl always felt sorry for it.
Tonight he sat in his dark bedroom looking out and watching the dog as it ripped into bags and ate anything edible it could find. He watched as sometimes it started to eat something but then spat it out and he wondered what food from a bin was so bad even a stray didn't want it.
Daryl wished he was that dog right now. Free. Doing what it wanted, no one telling him to stay inside.
He was just over a week into the school holidays and it was on the third night Daryl got to know the real man Jed. He'd come home so drunk that he's puked all over the floor in the kitchen and fell asleep on the floor upstairs, not even making it to his bedroom. Daryl didn't care about that so much but one night he came into his room and was babbling on about what a burden Daryl had been to him. He'd taken his belt off and threatened a beating with it but he'd been too drunk to even do that. At least on that night.
He'd come back when he was sober, his cold eyes on Daryl as he recounted what he'd been through in the last few years and how somehow, he'd managed to reason that it was all Daryl's fault. Somehow, a lady called Wendy had left and this was down to Daryl. The fact that he'd come here to look after the boy was what drove them apart and Daryl didn't understand it, but he understood the fists that reined down on him and the feel of the leather belt that struck him.
Jed went out after that. While he was gone, Daryl snuck out too because he was terrified that Jed would come back drunk and he'd be in for another beating with the belt. He spent the whole night out and felt like he wasn't controlled by Jed when he was out like this but eventually he had to go back home when he got hungry and cold enough and it didn't make things better. Jed gave him a beating that scarred him so badly he didn't think he'd ever be able to move again without it hurting. He stayed in bed for a couple of days, hoping and praying that Jed would forget about him if he stayed out of his way, but it seemed Daryl was not out of the man's thoughts for long and eventually, he'd pay him a visit. Thankfully, he never hit him so badly after that. He still beat him, but the severity lessoned. He was grateful for small mercies.
Whenever he heard Jed leave he'd sneak out and get some food and take it back to him room to eat. There wasn't much in the cupboards and he had to make sure he didn't take things Jed might want in case he angered him again but he survived.
One day Jed found a packet of food Daryl had eaten in his bedroom and he saw the rage take over the man again. Daryl knew in his mind that he must know he was taking food, he must know he was eating otherwise he'd be ill but that didn't stop his outrage and Daryl's theft.
He grabbed him, pulling him downstairs and threw him out the house, locking the door behind him. Daryl didn't know where to go, what to do. He waited around, hoping that Jed's anger would subside and he'd let him back in but when nothing happened Daryl wandered off. The idea of seeing any of his school friends was too embarrassing and any time he saw them outside messing around and having fun he'd stay hidden out of sight, not wanting to let them see him now. The worst of his beatings were hidden underneath his shirt but he still sported some bruising on his arms that wasn't going to be the easiest thing to explain away.
He didn't go back home again until it was night and he waited outside in the backyard as it rained. He shivered, wishing there was some shelter in the yard. Late into the night, Jed let him in but only where he allowed. He didn't let him dry himself or even change his clothes, just allowed him to remove his sodden top and sit on the floor in the room where Jed's eyes stayed transfixed to the TV screen.
He smoked and drank, while Daryl shivered by his feet, just grateful to be inside for a while, too afraid to say anything for fear of upsetting him. His stomach growled with hunger and he willed it to be quiet, worried the reminder of his previous theft of Jed's food would result in more punishment. When Jed got to the last drag on his cigarette and went to stub it out, his hand knocked the ashtray onto the floor. Daryl went to get it but Jed told him to hold still. Daryl was aware of the man staring at his slightly moist skin seconds before he felt the sting of the cigarette end burning into him. He did his best not to cry out but he was certain a whimper escaped his lips.
When the TV went to dead air, Jed still was sat, staring numbly at is and Daryl wondered if he could go to his room yet. He knew he couldn't because Jed had found a fresh way of torturing Daryl. He had chain smoked the cigarettes in his pack since first burning Daryl with it and since then had put everyone of them out by burning them into Daryl's skin. Some he'd not even smoked, just burnt into the boys skin until there was nothing left of them. They'd he ran out of cigarettes and headed upstairs.
Daryl had sat there awhile scared to move before he quietly crept up and shut himself in his room. He put a chair against the door hoping to keep Jed away, knowing that if he wanted to get in, there was no way he could stop him.
That night Daryl stayed in his room, watching the stray dog from his window, wishing for it's freedom.
He didn't know things could get worse.
There was a woman downstairs arguing with Jed.
Shouting, both of them were shouting and he couldn't really hear the words but then he really didn't want to. Along with the shouting, occasionally things got broken and he flinched at the sounds, wondering whether Jed was throwing things at the woman. After a while things grew quieter, the shouting wasn't so intense and eventually there was no more shouting. He heard the door slam once and a little while later again and the house was silent. He crept downstairs thinking about slipping away to find some food. He'd watched that stray dog and knew there was plenty to eat outside of his house if he was prepared to get a little messy. He was hungry enough not to care any more.
He thought he was alone. Didn't think any one was in the house still, so when Jed grabbed him from behind, he panicked and lashed out. He didn't hit very hard, and for a brief second he was free of Jed's grip. The man looked momentarily stunned before he reached for Daryl again and pulled him closer.
"Don't even think about leaving this house," Jed said, pushing Daryl away before he went out himself.
Daryl watched the door slam shut and his body tremble slightly at what Jed had planned. He stood unable to move for a few minutes before he raced upstairs and into his room. The room was no good. Jed always got in. That's when he thought about Merle's room. It had a walk in closet and he thought he might be able to better keep Jed out, especially if he could move Merle's bed in front of the door and angle it in such a way that wouldn't allow it to be pushed out of the way.
He raced into the room and started shifting the bed around. He heard footsteps and couldn't believe Jed was back already. He'd barely moved the bed in front of the door when he felt him push against it to get in.
"What the hell lil' bro, whatcha doin' in my room?"
"Merle?"
"Course it's me. Now let me in my damn room, boy."
Daryl pushed the bed back out the way as quickly as he could and opened the door. Merle was stood there. He didn't think he'd ever been so happy to see him in his life. Merle smiled at his younger brother. "C'mon now, get the hell outta my room and get your arse back in yours. Ain't been sleeping in here this whole time have ya? Missin' ya big bro?"
"No, I missed ya but I've not been in here..."
"What the hell were you doing with the bed anyway?" Merle asked.
"I was jus'..."
"What the hell you been doin'? Fightin'?" Merle asked seeing the bruise on Daryl's arm.
Daryl was never a good liar. "Nah, I just... I jus' was... careless." He wondered why he was protecting Jed but then knew it wasn't Jed he was protecting. Merle just got back from juvvie, he needed him here. He'd always needed him here.
"Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house?"
Jed had come back. Merle might have been 14, but he had always been big for his age and he'd had a growth spurt while he'd been away and he was almost as tall as Jed was.
"Your house? This is our house." Merle said, indicating to Daryl. Merle looked across to his brother. "Get to ya room while we talk about this, huh?"
Daryl looked nervous but did what Merle asked.
Daryl never asked Merle what went on that night.
There was a lot of raised voices and he heard a door slam. Part of him was terrified it was Merle that was leaving, but he popped in a little while later and told him not to worry about Jed any more.
Daryl felt that he could finally relax now that Jed was out of their lives.
The rest of the holiday he spent trying to read the book the teacher had given him but couldn't grasp the way it was written. The words didn't make sense to him especially when the characters were talking and he gave up on it, frustrated with himself.
He wondered why his teacher would give him a book like this. He left it aside and didn't touch it again.
He spent a lot of time on his own until the school year started.
He thought about lots of things. How Merle, the brother who protected him against Jed, was just another version of his Uncle and Father. That weren't so unlike because at times, Merle could be unbelievably cruel to Daryl. Not like Jed, but there were many types of cruelty.
But what he found strange was that he didn't protest Merle's form of cruelty, he revelled in it. He needed Merle there. Their Dad eventually turned up again with some woman he moved in, but little changed. Daryl didn't want to be the different one. Didn't want to to have the soft side, the side he hadn't seen in the others since his Grandparents. He wanted the tougher side that his Dad and Merle wore so easily. So he watched his brother. Watched how he handled himself and copied it.
By the time school started, he felt different.
He took the dumb book back to the teacher and told him how stupid it was. And he didn't look long enough to see the disappointment in the man's eyes. And during recess, he stopped hanging out with the other kids because Merle told him that people would just hold him back. So he stayed on his own far away from the other kids and he watched them and how they all interacted with one another and when he knew the teachers were not paying attention, he'd slip off into the woods near the back of the school and hide in there for a while. It felt better being there than it did with the other kids. He refused to do gym and got in detention time and time again because he refused to take part, and had no note explaining why he was unfit to take part. Daryl didn't care. and he knew that Merle and his Father wouldn't care either. Even when a note was sent home, nothing came of it. His Dad never mentioned it, probably didn't even read the damn thing once he saw it was from the school.
It was by accident that Merle saw his scars. He had a way of just bursting into Daryl's room whenever he pleased and it was inevitable really. He didn't say anything, but something changed. Something weird between them that Daryl wasn't sure of. He was pretty sure he hated him. Thought that he was weak because Merle spent a lot of time trying to toughen Daryl up after that. When he found out Daryl had gotten into the whole outdoor lifestyle, Merle seemed to approve of that and would bring him something back every now and then to help Daryl enjoy it more.
He didn't realise how isolated he became from other people. Didn't care much. Not then. He was too young, his imagination too wild to worry about anything else.
He remember Merle bring a tent home one time and they camped out in the woods for the night, Merle telling his scary stories about the creatures that came from the woods at night like werewolves and bigfoot and all other crap like that. Daryl didn't care. Merle was with him so he knew he'd be safe.
So his life was some type of normal. He didn't hate it.
Merle had his back. Jed was gone and his Father didn't matter one way or another.
He didn't need anything else.
He was a Dixon, and Dixon men didn't need a lot to survive in this world.