Merry Xmas, Wonder Woman!

Washington D.C.

December 6, 1941

Yeoman Diana Prince was heading for her apartment, on foot, with the U.S. Air Force Base in the distance. It was extremely cold, but not cold enough to snow. Diana felt invigorated and allowed herself to get lost in thought on her way home. The Princess was still getting acclimated to the culture of the United States of America when December crept up on her. She very much enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday; the spirit behind it and the practice of being thankful. Though Man's World has been shocking and often disappointing, it had a way of winning her over in the most surprising ways.

Halfway home, she finally noticed that the very festive decorations throughout the city seemed to be tied together by a red and green theme. It reminded her of Heralia - a winter celebration created by Hera for the Amazons. As images of her youth began to conjure themselves in her mind, the clanging of a very loud bell, by yet another old, bearded, fat man in a red and white suit brought her back to reality. This is the first of the men in red and white garb who happened to be on the same side of the street as her, so she decided to find out what he was doing.

Upon her approach, the man said, "Ho, HO, HOOO young lady! Merry Christmas! Care to donate to the orphan-fund so we can buy Christmas presents for the kids in the orphanage?"

Diana, dismissing the fact that she centuries older than this man, had her curiosity piqued and asked, "What is... Christmas? And what organization does your uniform represent?"

The man scrunched up his face, uncertain that he understood her questions, responded with, "Huh?"

Diana, sensing a conversation with this man to be exhausting, decided to give it one more shot before continuing on her way. "What... Is... Christmas?"

The man grimaced and said, "C'mon lady. If you don't want to donate, then don't. 'What is Christmas?' Who doesn't know what Christmas is? Were you born under a rock or something?"

Thoroughly confused, Diana decided she needed answers in the off chance that someone on the base should wish to discuss a Christmas-related matter. She was positive that she misused popular phrases when speaking with Etta or Major Trevor and needed to correct her ignorance on the matter immediately. She said, "I live nearby, so let me retrieve some money for you. Wait for me at the entrance to this alley. I shall not be long."

Perking up at the prospect of collecting more money, the man said, "Sure thing, Miss."

Diana traveled down the alley and out of sight, checked that the coast was clear and transformed into Wonder Woman. With the man's back to her, so lassoed the man and led him to a private doorway in the alley.

"So tell me. What is Christmas?"

The man, bound by the Golden Lasso of Truth, felt compelled to answer with complete honesty, "It is the day of the year when Jesus Christ was born to the world."

"Jesus Christ?"

"Yes, the Son of God."

"Which god?"

"The one true God. The Alpha and The Omega."

Diana found this answer amusing. "How long ago was he born?"

"Almost nineteen-hundred, forty-one years ago."

Diana's eyes widened. "So he's the reason your people began counting the years when you did. Interesting. So where is he now?"

"In Heaven."

"How often does he come back?"

"Only once. He resurrected shortly after he died for the sins of the world and has not returned since."

Diana, still puzzled, asked, "When did he die?"

"I'm not sure - I haven't read The Bible in its entirety yet," replied the man.

Diana imagining an enormous tome then asked, "When did you start reading this Bible?"

The man replied, "I've read passages from it every so often throughout my life, but I have never respected my religion enough to actually read The Bible from cover-to-cover. I am like many Christians: wishy-washy."

Diana, hearing references made to a book called 'The Bible' several times before today, finally asked, "Where can I access The Bible?"

The man pointed to the church. Diana recognized that it was a temple of sorts, but prior to leaving Paradise Island, Queen Hippolyta forbade Diana to worship in the temples of America. "They represent a cruel and dishonorable joke that Zeus played on Man's World." Diana, able to justify entering the church only to study The Bible and not worship, was satisfied with this line of questioning and proceeded to the next.

"What organization does your uniform represent?"

"It's a Santa costume," said the man.

"What is a Santa?"

"Santa Claus is the magical man that lives at the North Pole and comes on Christmas to deliver the presents that his elves make in their workshop to the good little boys and girls on his sleigh led by flying reindeer."

"So you're collecting money to purchase the toys from him?"

"No. I'm collecting money to buy toys for the children of the orphanage."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus deliver toys to them?"

"Because he's not real."

Diana scoffs, "What do you mean he's not real? You just told me that he's magical and lives at the Northern Pole with toy-making elves and flying reindeer!"

The Santa Imposter replied, "That's what we tell children to get them to behave."

"So you lie to the children."

"Yes."

Diana, rolling her eyes and now irritated, instructed the man to forget their conversation and to return to his begging.

Transforming back into her military garb, she marched right over to the church and entered. Thinking that The Bible would be somewhere central for easy access, she headed to the alter at the front of the church, but before she could reach it, she noticed every row of benches had a shelf behind it with identical books shelved there. Upon each book was printed: The Holy Bible. As if she were in the library of her palace, she strolled off with a copy having every intention of returning it after she'd read it through. She figured that should could easily read the entire book in a six- or seven-hour sitting. It wasn't even close to being as big as she'd initially thought. How could there be so many followers to a religion that haven't read this book in its entirety, when the book is so thin to begin with?

Back at her apartment, for hours, she had been devouring the pages of The Holy Bible. She found it all fascinating. The contradictions to itself and circular logic was quite amusing. She wondered if Steve Trevor subscribed to this way of thinking. She also had a greater understanding of why there was so much instability in Man's World.

It was still very dark outside by the time she had finished reading it all. Setting down the book, she realized what her mother meant when she told her about the temples in America and Zeus' cruel joke. She almost wanted to laugh at Man's World for being so clever at so much and yet so utterly foolish in terms of matters of great importance. Diana decided she would pray to Hera to bring away as many lost souls as she could from the temples of the false god.

After preparing for bed, Diana decided to kneel before her hidden alter to Hera, light the candles and pray.

"Great Hera, hear my prayer..." and before Diana could continue, Hera appeared and was standing behind her.

"Yes, my child?"

Diana's eyes flew open and the widest smile appeared on her face. "Great goddess, I am elated to see you." Athena and Hera would often interrupt Diana's prayers to share some time with the princess. They were invested in Diana and wanted to make sure their gifts in her were properly cultivated.

Hera smiling back at her, motioned for Diana to sit on the couch. As the goddess sat next to Diana, she said, "Perhaps I can clear up this matter for you by telling you a story about the gods of Olympus, a couple of naive kids named Joseficus and Maryl, and the birth of a few religions that are practiced today."