In those days when I had first met Phineas and only as my roommate, I had just turned 15 and I was as young and innocent as I was silly.
When I moved into my dorm at the start of the summer in 1941, I quickly realized that my roommate was a bit eccentric to say the least. He carried a collection of sorts of polo shirts which Finny took great pleasure in having every color of the rainbow in four different shades. However there was one color he was severely lacking in which he insisted was pink. I told him that his stock was, in truth, missing another green or white or even purple; anything but pink.
But Finny would only shake his head and smile. Always after that, he would stand in front of the mirror and imagine himself in a bubblegum pink shirt.
One late afternoon, as I was unwillingly completing my homework, I noticed Finny staring out the window with a sort of melancholic expression. This struck me as odd, for although I did not know him well, I knew Finny was not one to brood.
"Phineas," I said; I always called him by his first name then. "Phineas, what are you doing? Shouldn't you be doing your homework? It's getting late…" I trailed off awkwardly.
Finny continued to gaze out with his forehead pressed against the cool glass and only mumbled, "It's going to rain… I won't be able to run tonight." I stared at him with confusion written all over my face for there was not a cloud in the sky…
At around nine o'clock, there was not even so much as a sprinkle of rain. I had come to believe that my roommate was utterly and completely mad. However, no less than an hour later, I learned to never doubt Finny's weather forecasting: a light drizzle began when I went to bed at ten. But by 10:30, streaks of lightening flashed across the sky while waves of thunder reverberated around our room before reaching our ears making them seem all the more louder.
I was terrified.
I don't know how or why, but I discovered my great fear of thunder storms that night.
I tossed and turned until one terrible flash of lightening made me turn towards the only soul left in the room.
"Phineas," I whispered. When he did not stir, I called again. After the third time when he only twitched and settled again, I decided to get up and try to awaken him. I made it halfway across the room when I dared a look out the large ceiling-high window. With a brilliant stroke of luck, a streak of vicious light flashed across my face and sent me scurrying back to my bed.
I trembled with fear and it was under the covers that I had a revelation: I was a coward, a sad pathetic coward. I shouldn't even be called a man…
I was drowning myself with these thoughts when I felt a soft nudge on my back. I threw off the covers and stared up at Finny now standing over me. He was grinning at me and I suddenly felt even more inferior than before. I expected him to add insult to injury in some way by making fun of me, or taunt me, or even hurt me for trying to wake him up. But I could only see a genuine smile and he decided to do the complete opposite from what I expected; he silently got into bed with me.
At first, I admit, I was a bit embarrassed by his actions. But he remained so calm and natural that I could not help but relax.
Finny continued to stare at me with his mischievous grin plastered onto his face, and what could I do but stare back? Finally, I broke the silence. "What are you doing?" It was a short question, easy to follow, and simple to answer. However, Finny was not the type to be short, easy, or simple about anything.
Instead of answering my question, Finny wrapped his arms around my head and pulled me close. I resisted until a frightening explosion of thunder put me into a brief state of shock. Finny's long arms held me tight. He brushed my hair away from my sweating forehead and wiped my face with a thin blanket that I hadn't noticed in his hand before. It was then that I slowly wrapped my arms around his torso. I suddenly began to shake vehemently. My throat tightened and my nostrils flared until I could hold it in no longer; I burst into tears.
After my furious sobbing subsided into annoying hiccups, Finny spoke to me.
"Boy, Gene, you're worse than my sister. Normally she doesn't go into a crying fit. No, not at all…" Because I didn't know him too well then, I thought he was making fun of me. I started to pull away from him feeling hurt and confused but he quickly dissolved my fears by griping me tighter.
"Now there, I'm not finished. That's right, good ahead and tighten your grip. We're going to be here for a while; this storm has a bit more life left in it yet…
"Now, it's true that you're worse than my sister, but it's also true that my sister is just plain silly. She gets silly over everything, though, naturally she is a girl. But I have a theory, though. I believe the more things you get silly over the less silly you react. That's why my sister is always screaming, but never crying like a little girl—not that you're a little girl! Actually, quite the opposite. Why, this is the first time I've seen you get this silly over anything…"
Finny continued babbling on in this manner when I suddenly became very tired. I closed my eyes and tried to drown out everything when I was finally overcome by sleep. This sleep was short lived however. I estimated only ten minutes of unconsciousness because when I awoke, it was still dark and Finny was shaking me violently. Finny looked relieved and burst out laughing, saying that he thought I was dead.
I mumbled to him not to be silly, and pulled back from his slackened grip. I took a good look at Phineas and I felt a pang of jealousy when I realized how easily he managed to charm me into a tight embrace, what with his good looks. He had all the physical features of a model and a mischievous smile sure to attract the attention of any girl. I sighed and wondered how different life would be if I were that handsome…
My thoughts suddenly began to wander. I was too tired to speak them aloud but too alert to go back to sleep and too frightened to send Finny away. Finny himself humored me and remained silent for a bit longer. He eventually spoke: "You look awfully funny when you're thinking real hard." He laughed and continued, "I'll bet your girlfriend thinks that look is the cutest." He laughed again at the look I gave him. "Come on, now. Don't tell me you don't have a girlfriend."
I told him no, I do not have a girlfriend nor have I ever had one. He gave me an incredulous look. He seemed genuinely shocked at this sad but true statement. He rolled around onto his back, thought about it for a moment, and then turned his head towards me. He began to say something when one last flash of lightening brightened our room.
I shut my eyes tightly for a moment as the anxiety rushed back into me. If it hadn't been for Finny's presence, I probably would have begun shaking again.
When I opened my eyes, Finny's head was turned towards me. His look of concern soon turned into a smirk when he saw how quickly I managed to cope with the storm. I lifted my hand with a shy smile to show him my source of strength: the blanket.
At this, all concern vanishes and we both begin to laugh out loud. Finny then reaches out and pats my head. I close my eyes, feeling like I was about to fall asleep when I feel Finny shift position. I open my eyes to find him inches away from my face. I open my mouth to tell him, Good night, when he does something I believe no other man, woman or child had ever done before that time.
He leaned forward and brushed his lips softly against my cheek. I shuddered violently in response. By the time I could react, his arms were tight around me and he himself unconscious. I marveled for a moment how quickly he managed to fall asleep, however, I soon drifted off to slumber myself…
The following morning, I awoke to find Finny standing in front of the mirror. He was comparing two different shades of orange polo shirts, all the while looking like a complete fairy. I sat up and rubbed my head feeling very strange. It was then that the events of last night came rushing back to me.
I looked up sharply and glanced at Finny through the mirror. He too had a questioning look on his face. At first, I was afraid he would ask about last night, but I really should have learned by then that Finny never does what I expect him to do.
"Say, Gene, do you like this shirt with these brown pants, or with the khakis better?" I blinked for a moment before realizing that he was asking for my honest opinion. I answered truthfully; that I hated both of those pants and that he had no fashion sense. He laughed, brushing off my bad mood. His face twisted with indecision and he finally decided on a baby blue colored shirt instead of orange and white pants instead of khaki or brown.
I shrugged and leapt out of bed. It suddenly dawned on me that today was Sunday and that there were no classes. Furthermore, I realized I would be stuck with Finny virtually all day and that it would be impossible not to forget about last night. I sighed heavily and sank down onto my bed again.
Finny now donned with the bright blue shirt plopped down next to me. He slapped my back in a friendly manner and laughed. "Don't worry, we'll find something superb for you to wear!" He grinned and shot back up as excited as can be. I sullenly stared at my roommate walk away. He didn't give me the opportunity to correct him, nor did I want that chance, but I felt miserable not telling him the truth.
"Phineas…" I hesitated. "About last night…" But he was not listening. He was humming to himself a song that sounded vaguely familiar, however I could not tell if the melody was entirely correct… Finny began digging through his trunk trying to find a shirt "compatible" with my hair and I sighed again.
I tried to talk to him, "Phineas, are you listening to me?"
"What?"
"I said, are you listening to me?"
"Oh. Yes, of course!"
"Well, I wanted to ask you"—pause—"about last night."
"What about last night?" I looked up to find him staring back at me. He had a questioning look on his face and I could see this wasn't going to be easy.
"I mean, why did you…? Why were you…so nice to me? I don't—"
He interrupted me by throwing a dark green polo at me and told me to put it on. As I slipped the shirt on over my head, Finny was looking at me with a sort of serious expression. I looked at him slightly confused and his smile suddenly bursts out again.
"Ohh!" He laughed. "You mean last night?" He laughed again. I rolled my eyes at him but my heart was pounding. What the Devil could I be talking about other than last night?
Finny spun around and begin reorganizing his trunk.
"Well, you see," he begins in a casual manner, "I always kiss my little sister good night and seeing as you were acting so silly last night—it was quite funny actually—that I completely confused you with her." Finny gets up and looks at me, arms folded across his chest, mouth wide in a grin. "A little kiss always helps her fall asleep you know," he says with a laugh.
I stared at him incredulous. I believed him. Every word of it. He was too genuine to keep at bay. I thought about his explanation and as I sat there he ruffled my hair. Walking past me he said, "Come on, Gene. We have a lesson to get to."
My jaw dropped down even further as he pranced out the room in the most ridiculous manner. I was about to call to him that it was Sunday and we had no classes that day, but I shook my head and chuckled. I decided that Finny was going become a great roommate.
As I followed him out of the room, I thought about thunderstorms, little girls, and silliness. And I thought about last night. And while I realized that I had indeed discovered my greatest fear in those few minutes of twilight, I also discovered my greatest comfort…Phineas.
