Screencap from Sailor Moon S Ep. 99 (Haruka & Michiru holding hands):
https : (slash) (slash) muncensored . com (slash) images (slash)ep99 (dash) 3 . jpg
Originally started as a 'screencap redraw' (where you draw a favorite scene in your own style), I was only planning on redrawing a sweet HaruMichi moment from the anime. Then somewhere along the line my mind derailed and decided to re-create the scene instead (Cover Image). And as usual, I put my scattered, random thoughts together into a short story.
The conversation between them before the screencap was taken directly from the anime.
I dedicate this story to 'Guest' from FF, who has been following my works and providing me with incredible support since my first fanfic. I never considered myself a writer but her reviews and encouragements were a big motivation for me to continue writing.
And to everyone who likes HaruMichi.
It was a mid-autumn night, the moon was at its fullest and brightest of the year.
At the park, Michiru stood at the top of the stairs with a Stradivarius violin in her hands, overlooking the city below her. A cool nocturnal breeze picked up, stripping the colored leaves off the trees and leaving them dancing around her feet.
Calmly, she closed her eyes, brought the instrument below her chin and drew the bow across the strings. Lustrous and silvery sound from the Stradivarius began singing delightfully with the foliage susurrating gently on the ground, coalescing into a perfect harmony. The aqua-haired girl stood firmly on her feet but her torso and arms swayed in rhythm fluidly with the music. Haruka stood from behind and watched her play.
Michiru had chosen an interesting piece to play tonight – it was supposed to be performed at an incredibly fast tempo, but somehow she didn't execute it with her devil-may-care pace. She took a different approach and interpreted it at a tempo that was noticeably slower than the instructed one marked on the composition, and with a bit of added melancholy that was not written in the notes. Haruka could tell it was an intentional move, but wasn't quite sure if it was driven physically or emotionally.
Suddenly, she felt a dull ache in her chest.
It was merely days after Michiru nearly lost her life during a battle with Kaolinite and her Daimons, in pursuit of an extracted Heart Crystal which turned out to be not a Pure Heart (one that contained a sealed talisman). Michiru plunged into the deep end of the waterfall and struggled to get herself out of it. By the time she emerged from the water, she was in too much pain that she could barely speak a word.
Haruka insisted that Michiru should rest for a few days, but she brushed it off as if it was no big deal and resumed her daily activities and senshi duties as usual. Maybe Michiru has healed quickly with her senshi power, Haruka thought. But if Michiru wasn't physically hurting, then the only reason she was playing like this tonight was that she was hurting emotionally.
That thought made Haruka feel worse.
The highlight of Haruka's part during that battle was hiding out in a cave with Sailor Moon while Michiru was drowning in the waterfall. Despite her own urge to save Michiru and Sailor Moon's persuasion, she stayed put instead. Was her choice heroic or pusillanimous? Haruka didn't know. But according to the promise the two senshi made to each other, she was supposedly making the right decision at that time since they had vowed to prioritize their mission over everything else, including each other's lives. Even if one of them was in danger, the other must go on for the greater good.
Then Haruka made the wrong choice, or worse, broke her pledge, by trying to rescue Michiru at the waterfall. It's wasn't because Haruka didn't understand the weight their vow carried, but she would have never understood how practically impossible it was for her to live a life without Michiru until that very moment. When she realized she was on the verge of losing Michiru forever, she was terrified and nothing else seemed to matter to her anymore, including her destined senshi duties.
After the battle, they hadn't really discussed anything at length. The conversations they had were mostly around identifying a potential Pure Heart Crystal or Kaolinite's next move, or some mundane details of their everyday life. Haruka was certain that Michiru was disappointed in her, because Michiru was ready to give up her own life trusting Haruka to be able to carry on without her but she failed miserably. That trust had to be broken and it must hurt Michiru, Haruka pondered.
Wincing inwardly, Haruka wasn't sure if she could ever regain Michiru's trust again. Even if she could go back in time, even if she had already known the outcome of that battle, she would have still chosen to save Michiru regardless. But that was exactly what hurt Michiru emotionally, Haruka struggled with her thoughts.
Then the ache in Haruka's heart exacerbated as Michiru played the crescendo of her piece, when the volume and intensity increased and resembled the powerful plunge of a cataract waterfall. The mental image at the falls replayed over and over again in Haruka's head and her deepest fear screamed louder and louder, and she decided she could not take it anymore…
"Michiru, I feel like we are doing this in vain," said Haruka helplessly after Michiru finished playing.
"Haruka, what's wrong?" Michiru asked, putting her violin down and turning around to Haruka. Her brow furrowed with worry. "This isn't like you."
What's wrong with you was what Haruka heard.
It has been a wasted effort one after another. How much longer do we have to do this before a talisman finally shows up? I don't want to break any more promises and hurt you, but I can't afford to lose you again.
These words were in her throat, but she swallowed them instead. She couldn't possibly bring more negativity to Michiru during tough times like this.
Thinking perhaps she should not have made that statement in the first place, Haruka wanted to hide in shame but quickly found herself cornered - by Michiru's thoughtful gaze in front of her and the beaming moonlight behind her. It was too late to take back her words now and she owed Michiru an explanation.
She took a deep breath before elaborating, "I am afraid everything we do is too late."
"We knew that when we started this, Haruka," Michiru said firmly, but her gaze had softened as she lowered her eyelashes. Reaching for Haruka's hands, she continued. "The wheel of destiny has already begun spinning. The new age is awakening. We have to get the three talismans."
Haruka couldn't tell if Michiru's hand-holding was meant to be comforting or convincing - if it was the former, she was already fully aware of the comfort of this harsh reality; but if it was the latter, then she didn't need to be reminded again.
If accomplishing this mission is at the expense of your life, then I don't want to do this anymore.
Agonized, Haruka detached from their hand-holding and took a few steps away from Michiru. How could she tell Michiru that she didn't want to continue with this mission, all after Michiru was willing to give up her own life for it?
"And in order to do this-" Haruka said sadly.
She paused, knowing too well what was supposed to be said but couldn't bring herself to finish her own sentence. Michiru joined her again, laying one hand on her shoulder and placing her other hand gently on her upper chest. Her fingers pressed gently against where her hands were, bringing Haruka the much needed warmth to her heart. Haruka looked at her, unrealistically hoping to hear something different than what was on her mind.
"We must be willing to sacrifice everything," said Michiru.
Haruka's little hope vanished instantly. Michiru's words also took away the warmth that was just starting to radiate throughout her body. Now she was left feeling cold again in this chilly autumnal night.
Michiru appeared as calm and unruffled as always. She accompanied her encouraging glance with an assuring smile that seemed to be telling Haruka she needed to toughen up and be willing to give up everything.
Frankly, Haruka could give up everything, and she probably did when she accepted her fate as a senshi. But now everything was non-negotiable because it included something she could not forgo.
Sighing inwardly, Haruka knew even though she was slightly the stronger one physically, emotionally she didn't have the toughness that could compare to that of Michiru. Perhaps Michiru would have no problem leaving her behind dying in a battle, which she could understand and respect, but she certainly couldn't do the same to Michiru.
Knowing they would not see eye to eye on this matter, Haruka decided to let the conversation rest for the night. Taking one of Michiru's hands, she tried to hide the pain in her eyes and forced an apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry, perhaps I am weakened by the full moon tonight."
Then they spoke no more and let silence take them.
Haruka held onto her hand, contented as she was at the moment, dared not to explore how soon one of them would have to make such excruciating choice.
You're my everything now. How can I sacrifice that? You're worth more than anything in the world to me, and I can't even fathom living a life without you.
Feeling a tingle at the tip of her nose, she silently cursed her own weakness and turned her face away.
She probably heard Michiru calling her name worriedly a few times, but she did not respond. She could not to be exact. She couldn't let Michiru see her like this.
It was not long before Haruka felt Michiru's hand begin sliding away from her shoulder. She didn't appreciate that feeling but there was nothing she could have done to stop it.
To her dismay, the hand she was holding onto started slipping away as well.
Suddenly, irrational thoughts and fears sent a shiver running down Haruka's spine, and she tensed her grip around Michiru's fingers that she was still holding onto.
"Please don't go…"
"Haruka?" said Michiru, puzzled. "I…"
When Haruka turned her attention to Michiru again, she was surprised to see that her marine blue eyes were as misty as her own.
Swallowing hard to clear the lump in her throat, Haruka said, "I'm sorry, I've disappointed you-"
"No Haruka, I did. I'm sorry," Michiru said with a contrite expression. "It hurts me seeing you so sad. I realized I have done nothing but kept on pushing forward with the mission. The whole thing is my fault - I forced this destiny thing onto you even after you made it clear that you wanted nothing to do with it."
"No," Haruka said, shaking her head. "When I accepted the transformation pen at the garage, I had already accepted my destiny then."
Michiru looked at her, with torment in her eyes Haruka had not seen since she confessed her assumed unrequited love to her at the garage.
"But you probably did this out of gratitude, or feeling bad that my feeling wasn't reciprocated," Michiru admitted, caressing Haruka's arm with her free hand. "I should have stopped you instead of letting you take such heavy burden onto your shoulders. I blame myself every day for dragging you into this, and I know I will be guilt stricken as long as I still have breath in me."
Before Haruka could disagree with her, Michiru added, "You know...I could have been freed from my guilt if you chose not to save me at the-"
Haruka placed her finger over her partner's lips, making her go silent.
"How unfair of you, to think that leaving into your own world is the only way to let go of your guilt? Then what about my guilt? You might have started all of this but you don't get to end it with me so conveniently."
Haruka then saw a change in Michiru's facial expression. Michiru clearly wasn't expecting to hear this from her, but she also didn't seem to fully grasp what her words implied.
To clarify further, Haruka cradled Michiru's cheek and continued in a low, deep voice, "Michiru, I have not regretted one bit of my decision since then. Even if you forced me to accept everything I would not have blamed you, because, I wanted to fight alongside you, protect you, and…"
Haruka paused when she saw Michiru's lips parted slightly in disbelief. It was when she gathered she hadn't been so bold and upfront with her feelings with Michiru that she was longing for until tonight.
"And?" Michiru asked feebly.
Mustering up the last ounce of her courage, Haruka wrapped her arm around Michiru's waist, drawing her closer. Her move surprised Michiru, causing her eyes to widen.
As their bodies pressed onto each other, as they were able to feel each other's racing heart, Haruka knew there was no point of holding back or hiding her feelings anymore.
"And hold you like this," she admitted in the deepest and softest tone she could offer. "Michiru, I don't know if I can ever be as stoic as you are, but if one day only one of us can carry on the mission, then let that person be you."
Michiru looked up at her, shaking her head determinedly.
"No, I can't let you sacrifice yourself for me," Michiru said, choking up. "I can't afford to lose you, Haruka…I love you..."
"Then what makes you think I can let you sacrifice yourself for me and afford to lose you?" Haruka asked.
Michiru was speechless. The only response she could give was her shivering lips and her teary eyes that glistened in the moonlight.
"Don't cry," Haruka cooed. Holding Michiru tighter, her voice descended into a whisper, "Michiru, let's not worry about anything beyond our control at this point. We don't know when that day will come, it could be tomorrow, or perhaps never. But I can assure you that before then, I will hold you like this and never let go."
Her words apparently weren't helping to stop the tears from flowing down Michiru's cheeks. She held onto her, never wanting to let go as she promised, recognizing the significance of her words to Michiru and regretting how long she had made her wait before telling her.
At last, Michiru let out a blissful sigh and nodded a few times. She blinked purposefully to shed the last tears in her eyes before looking up at Haruka again. Her lips curled upward into a sweet smile and her eyes were welled up again, but now they were filled with tears of joy.
It was then Haruka realized her vision had become cloudy as well.
Then silence took them again, this time for much longer.
Thanks for reading!
I don't think I've developed a consistency in drawing Haruka yet but so far I am quite happy with this rendition.
P.S. I noticed that the cover image is resized in low res. and both Haruka and Michiru don't even look happy together. Since my original work was the drawing and in no way the story ended like that, I'd like to share the link to the original drawing here: (no space)
https : (slash) (slash) www . deviantart . com (slash) thekissinghand (slash) art (slash) Sailor-Moon-Harumichi-Night-at-the-Park-761337508