Oookie... disclaimer time.. ya'll gather 'round.. This was meant as a joke, and a joke alone. ~.^ My bestest buddy and I wrote this together, but since she doesn't have a FF.net account, I'm putting it on mine. ~.^ A letter from Sephy to Aeris... meant as PURELY comedy.. don't take it seriously, please? BTW... we own nothing in the story 'cept the story... makes a whoooole lotta sense now, don' it? v_v;
~*~Confessions~*~
Dear Aeris,
You've got to know that I've loved you ever since I layed eyes on your gorgeous bod... I mean, I've loved you ever since I've gazed into those deep, endless watery emerald eyes. I want to know... would you like to go out with me sometime?
Well, I know we're dead, and that can be a problem... but love shouldn't face such trivial matters! Please don't hold it against me that I killed you. Please?
Anyway, it wasn't really my fault. I tried to get Cloud to do it! And I didn't mean it.... Well... I did, but anyhow... I wouldn't do it again! ....I don't think....
You must know... after I killed you, I felt deep remorse and regret... when I saw your cold, lifeless body crumpled limply on the floor, I wanted to burst out into tears and console myself with chocolate. But.... It... no... it... came out as a smirk, laugh, and, eventually, cackle. I'm so sorry, my love.
I must tell you... you were not the only one who was pained in this act of creulty and heartlessness; I sprained my wrist as I drove my Masamune mercilessly through your sexy... I mean, graceful body.
You must admit, that if I didn't kill you, Holy wouldn't have been summoned and the world would have almost been destroyed and I would have became a god... Or... like Clody-boy and the others say, the world would have been destroyed, y'know? Then again... that was kinda my fault, too...
But!! Don't leave now!! I was extremely traumatized as a child! I... I never knew my mother, and daddy... I mean, the man who fathered me performed sick, twisted, and weird experimentations on me... that counts for some pity points, right?
Whatever you may think, it's not EASY having countless, mindless, drones following you around and worshipping your every footstep! I mean, they follow me around WHEREVER I go... I NEVER have a moment of privacy! And there's so much pressure... so much stress... I don't know HOW I take it... Do you KNOW how much I spent on therapy!?
Another thing: We obviously are a perfect match. Look at our hair... That's one thing in common!! It's... one... thing!! Do you get your hair styled by Macarrvy Whitfield?! He's a totally awesome dude... I mean, a quite sophiscated young man that is excellent; he's located in Costa Del Sol... maybe you've seen him?
I really take to heart the saying that opposites attract... Pretend we're a magnet... You're positive, I'm negative... We're instantly drawn together!! Lickity-split! See? You're good, I'm evil... You know, I mean... You see what I'm saying?
One last thing: I only lost to Cloud because I wanted to be in the lifestream with you, my sweet. Forever. ...really. No, really. I could have beaten him if I wanted to. Seriously. I could. Yeah. I REALLY could. Yeah.... uh... So... see you later?
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Love forever and eternally yours,
Sephiroth.
P.S. So how about that date?
~*~
Heh heh. ~_~
PLEASE review... we NEED to know the reader's response to this! See ya'!
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