It had been two weeks since the Jay and Silent Bob premiere, and it was honeymoon bliss for one perky blonde cheerleader and her brooding brunette badass. The hallway taunting that had erupted following their union had been limited by Alex's trademark death stare and Paige's sheer power as queen of the school. A lesbian couple in Degrassi was expected to be met with disdain, but the fear created by the bitter loner and the alpha female was enough to leave the girls to their own privacy.

"So, all's well on the Alex front?" Marco teased Paige as they took their seats for English. Hazel and Marco shared a laugh, which Paige faked. To them, the outsiders, nothing could be wrong for the poster couple for the next gay generation. They were the lucky ones, they were the idols. But was everything well on the Palex front?

On the other side of the school, two brown eyes peaked around a corner, checking for hall monitors or suspicious teachers. When the coast was clear, Alex nodded Craig and Ellie and the three sneaked down the hallway to the exit. Tucked away in the parking lot as a bright orange sportscar, with the smell of decent marijuana seeping from the cracks in the windows. Alex hopped in the front, with Ellie and Craig in the back, just in time for Jay to finish packing a bowl.

"So, things on the rocks with pom-poms?" Jay giggled, eyes red and pupils dilated. Under the influence of the happy drug, Ellie and Craig laughed even harder and the notion that anything could be wrong with the happiest couple at Degrassi. Alex kept her comments to herself, preferring to direct honesty into the embers in the blue glass pipe.

The last class of the day passed with slow speed for Paige, trapped in English with no hope in sight. But it could not have gone faster for Alex, ditching class for a little gateway drug in the back of the parking lot. Suddenly the bell rang, the students scattered, and it was time for the two girls to face each other for their scheduled date.

Alex leaned against a tree in the ravine, hands shoved in pockets, scowl planted firmly on her face, hood over her head, and a lingering smell of deviance surrounding her.

Paige approached, standing up straight, perfect hair tossed lightly over her shoulder, her clothes clean and in style. The only smell on her was the newest and hottest perfume.

"Were you smoking weed with Jay?"

"Craig and Ellie too."

"You smell."

"I know."

"Are you still high?"

"No."

They looked at each other for what seemed like forever. The three feet separating them was filled with secrets, on both sides. They had jumped right from friends to committed relationship. No dating, no close friendship. There was a big step that they skipped, and it lay in those three feet that separated them in the ravine.

"Alex, there's some things I have to tell you."

"There are some things I want to tell you too."

"There are reasons I haven't wanted to... be with you yet."

"I've got my reasons too."

Alex held out her hand, which Paige took, and the two wandered off deeper into the ravine, deeper into privacy. They found an old fallen tree just right for sitting on. Alex turned to look into her baby's blue eyes and took some initiative.

"You first." She said.

"Alex…" The words were caught in her throat. "There's something that not many people know. Hazel knows, Spinner knows, and Ashley Kerwin knew before she moved. But really, it's not something I like sharing. It's…"

Alex's heart leapt as she heard a quiver in her beauty's voice.

"It's very hard to talk about it, because it's like it's happening all over again."

Alex said nothing, only waited.

"In grade 9, I met this guy. He invited me to a party, and I went. We went upstairs, and we started kissing."

The bitterness in Alex's eyes seemed to disappear. She didn't want to speculate the next part of the story.

"He raped me, Alex. I was so young, I was so scared. I pressed charges, but there was no way to prove it. He took everything, he took my virginity, he took my childhood, he took away me, he took away everything about me that made me strong… and… and…"

Alex grabbed her in her tender arms, curling her up and letting her cry away. "It's okay."

"I'm supposed to be over it, ever since the trial and everything. That was over a year ago. But the truth is, I think about it every day. I thought about it everytime I tried to get close to Spinner, I thought about it with Mr. O, and I think about it when I'm with you. It's like nothing else matters, nothing's important. And I'm sorry, it isn't fair to you at all. I really do care about you."

Alex stopped her. "I know, I know."

Paige let Alex's arms be her comfort, and ran her fingers through the jet black hair. They lingered there on the fallen tree, the leaves falling around them, the cool Toronto wind nipping at their noses. They kept each other warm, for the moment that they had together.

"My turn?" Alex muttered after a while. Paige released her from the embrace and looked into her eyes, nodding. "Spinner, your ex, the guy you all hate."

"Yeah. He got Jimmy shot."

"I know. What do you know about all that?"

"He and Jay poured the paint and feathers on Rick, and then tried to blame it on Jimmy." Paige stuttered in confusion, struggling for Alex's meaning. "What's the point?"

"You're wrong."

"What?"

"I poured the paint and feathers on Rick."

Alex would have given her left arm for something other then silence in the moment that followed. The look on Paige's face, the shock, the disbelief, the search for an understanding, and the painful quiet. It was too much, if anything was going to kill her then that would.

"You didn't get expelled?"

"When Spinner confessed, he only named Jay. I guess he only felt guilty about telling Rick that it was Jimmy. He didn't feel guilty about Rick. But I do. I feel guilty every day. All I can see is that look on his face, right before it happened. The smile. And then the laughing after. My laugh. Jay's laugh. Everyone, laughing at him. Torturing him. And then, he died. Right after, he died. I've hurt a lot of people, everyone has, but he's one person that I'll never be able to apologize to."

Alex's eyes drifted into the distance, starring off at nothing in particular. "No one knows I was involved, except Jay, Spinner and probably Sean Cameron. Amy too."

"Why did you do it?"

Alex's eyes averted back to Paige. Fear, pain and darkness met disappointment, shock and blue.

"Terri McGregor was in my math class in grade 10. I saw the pain in her eyes. I know that pain, Paige. You were there."

"I… I know…" The memories came flooding back, blocking any anger she was trying to feel for her dark beauty. "I was there the day he put her in a coma-"

"No, no." Alex interrupted. "You were there that night, at my place."

"Alex?" Paige was hit over the head with the realization.

"Chad's a relatively new boy toy for mom." Alex shrugged, the mask of indifference returning ever so swiftly. "He's not that bad. Just gets a little drunk and gets a little tempermental. He's just stupid, he's not really violent."

Paige was at a loss, she felt compelled to stroke Alex's hand, while waiting for her sweetheart's courage to continue.

"But, the guy she was seeing when all that happened. Robert. He… he was one of the worst. He didn't live with us, thank god. But mom would come home, crying her eyes out. She'd wake me up, but only once did I actually get out of bed to see what was going on. I thought she was just covering her eyes because she was crying, but then I saw the bruises. I mean, he really got to her, he got to her bad. It went on like that for a while, but she stayed with him. She like him, I guess."

Paige's mouth gaped open, with only one question that she couldn't bring herself to ask. With a couple pushes, the words came out. "Did he hurt you?"

"When he found out about the gonorrhea."

Paige knew that look. It was the look Alex thought passed for carelessness. What Alex didn't know was that there was anger in there, hate behind the indifference.

"What happened?"

"He went to the clinic with me and mom, and they told us. The second we got back to my place, he started wailing on me. He just threw me on the ground and started swinging. Mom pulled him off, and then he started yelling at her. He probably started hitting her too, but I didn't stick around long enough to find out. I just took off. I went to the school, punched Amy in the face for going down on Jay, too. Paige, I'm fine." The last she said as Paige attempted an embrace.

"No, tough guy, you come here." Paige insisted. This time it was the blue-eyed beauty that was going to provide the comfort. Alex lingered in Paige's embrace.

"I guess we're both pretty fucked up, huh?"

"I guess so."

"Think it's gonna work?"

"Absolutely."