Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh and never will. Also I don't own Johnny Bravo. Yes I know kind of a weird combo ain't it? But if that rings any bells to you then Banzai! For knowing what might happen before you read the story you crazy crazy person you.
Authors Note: This was written for my friend Courtgeta, its a long running inside joke between us. Like almost seven years I think. Well about that long anyway. The story is changed a bit but hopefully you are amused as we were by it. Ps Tis only a one shot.
UBER MAXXED!
"Ahhhhhhhh." Pegasus sighed flipping through the pages of one of his favorite comics. He took another sip of his white wine spritzer and turned the page. Ringing the bell beside his plate of Gorgonzola cheese, a tall man appeared quietly beside him. "Ahhhh Croquet thank you."
"Yes sir." He bowed and left the room as Pegasus took the wine glass from him.
"Oh Johnny," Pegasus chuckled, "What will you do next?" He took a sip from his new spritzer.
"HYA! HOO! HA!" A blond haired man crashed through the window, "The names Bravo, Johnny Bravo." He grabbed Pegasus' Spritzer and gulped it all down in one go. "Mmm! spritzery!"
"Excuse me... Mr. Bravo but uhhmmm you just broke through a 3rd story window."
"That's fine baby, Master Hamma has taught me the way of martial arts. HYA! HOO! HA!" He ran a tiny black comb through his perfect hair." Now come with me I have much to show you."
Despite himself Pegasus couldn't help but rise from his chair and follow the extremely muscular man who for some reason or another found it appropriate to start flexing. As if he was under some weird hoodoo magic the cartoon loving aristocrat only smiled and chuckled quietly. "So where are we going?"
"All right! Follow me." He flexed his pipes one last time. He decided to crash through the other window and Pegasus gleefully followed through the adjacent one. Never before had he felt this exuberant as the glass shattered as the mass of his body plowed through it. When he opened his eyes he was in an all new world. With Johnny by his side Pegasus looked around amazed. Dusting off his shoulders and lapels he was intrigued to find that when he touched his face he felt no shards of the glass and no pain whatsoever.
"Amazing." He breathed. Somehow he had fallen into Aron city, Johnny Bravo's hometown. "Ohh wheres the little red haired girl? Suzy?"
"Neighbor girl? I don't know." He looked around suspiciously knowing that every time she was mentioned she had this uncanny ability to just pop up out of-
"Hi Johnny." She beamed up at him.
"Ugh, what do you want Neighbor girl? Can't you see I'm kinda busy?"
"Nothing Johnny I just wanted you to meet my Cousin from Japan. His name is Seto Kaiba." A tall thin man with brown hair and blue eyes appeared behind her. He wore a white trench coat that flared unnaturally far in the back and a pair of what looked like skin tight leather pants. The way he stood looked like his pelvis was pushed out at an angle. Giving him the look of an obtuse angle. Johnny raised his eyebrow as he looked him up and down.
"Riiiight."
"Kaiba-boy?! What are you doing here?" Pegasus could feel the joy seeping from his body only to be replaced by disappointment. "This is suppose to be my adventure."
"I don't know what I'm doing here. The last thing I remember doing was almost perfecting a winning strategy to defeat Yugi when all of a sudden Suzie here pops up beside me saying she was related to my birth parents and saying that we were cousins." He put a hand to his head as if he were thinking. "What are you doing here Pegasus?" Kaiba glared.
"Isn't it obvious Kaiba-boy? I'm going on an adventure with my favorite comic book hero. I'm hoping that we get into some hilarious shenanigans and when it looks like all hope is lost and obvious conclusion comes our way and we all live happily ever after. Honestly haven't you ever read a comic book before? I mean really Kaiba-boy." He said the last two words very slowly in his ever mocking manner. " Oh, wait you wouldn't have time to read comic books would you? You're too busy being obsessed with losing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over..." The sun set, the moon rose, and finally the sun rose again. "... and over and over and over to Yugi-boy. I mean really its unhealthy this obsession of yours."
Pegasus looked over to Johnny to see him sleeping where he stood with a string of drool hanging from his mouth. Nudging him slightly with his elbow Johnny jolted awake. "HYA! HOO! HA!" He combed his hair with lightning fast reflexes. "What'd I miss?"
"Nothing." Kaiba growled through clenched teeth. "Here Pegasus I have a gift for you." Seto passed him a large crate with the emblem Uber Mass on its side. "Lets go Suzie the DNA test I ordered should be finished now."
"Bye Johnny." Suzie smiled following after Kaiba.
"Uber Mass?" Pegasus questioned forgetting Kaiba was ever even there. "Why does that sound familiar?"
"Hhhmmmm." Johnny thought, "I dunno babeh but It looks mighty tasty. I think you should try it."
"Really? Do you think that its a good idea?"
"Why not? Thats what I would do and look at me." He started flexing in the middle of the street giving everyone who walked by a free glimpse at the gun show. "I am buff babeh and chicks dig buff." As he was saying this a woman in a red dress walked by she had long brown hair a big bust and skinny waist. Johnny's attention was pointed towards her. "Watch and learn rich guy chicks dig me." Walking over to the woman Johnny leaned on the lamp post that she was now standing beside "Pardon me, hot sexy mama. If you'd please to take a look at my, Hya, studly bod, then I may have the pleasure of you wanting to be my number-one main squeeze."
"Jerk!" She screeched slapping him with her purse before walking off in a huff.
"Oh yeah, she digs me." He smirked nodding his head as he walked back to Pegasus. "So you gonna drink the stuff or not I ain't got all day you know."
"Fine, fine." Pegasus sighed before chugging one can after the other until finally the entire case was gone. "Ughhh I don't feel so good Johnnnnnyyy..." He groaned noticing that his voice was suddenly becoming deeper with every syllable he spoke. "Johnny? Where are you?" He looked around franticly for the blond man. The buildings around him started becoming shorter until the tallest building near them was level with his eyes. "Johnny?!"
"I'm down here!" He could faintly hear him yell.
He looked down. No longer was he dressed in his expensive suit, and instead he wore a traditional sumo wrestler diaper. As if being over 50 stories tall, and in a sumo diaper wasn't bad enough he was also extremely fat. He could hear scream of people who looked like ants running around, and could have sworn her heard someone yell. "Not Again! Every third Wednesday of the month!" Surprisingly enough this commotion wasn't caused by him but two very near monsters battling.
"Godzilla? Mothra? What is going on?!" He cried out, "Where did Johnny go?" The city slowly faded out of site and was replaced by a giant sumo wrestling ring where only he and the two monsters stood. They seemed to forget the battle they were having to team up and destroy him. It was two against one and Pegasus didn't like the odds.
"Hope you weren't going to start all the fun with out me." Johnny said as he stepped into the ring beside Pegasus. He too was dressed in a sumo diaper(as were Godzilla and Mothra). "Let's do this! HYA! HOO! HA!" He cried as he and Pegasus and Godzilla and Mothra rushed towards each other. Just before Pegasus was about to clash with Godzilla Everything went black.
"AAAHHHHHH!!" He screamed in surprise jolting up in his bed drenched in a cold sweat. Pegasus held his head in his hands as he tried to level his breathing from giant heaves to slow deep breaths. After a few moments he looked up and fell back onto his giant bed. "That is definitely the last time I drink a white wine spritzer before bed."
Fin