On a Castle buzz at the moment, not sure how far I'll take it but let me know what you all think. Enjoy :-D

Disclaimer: Don't own anything, you know the drill.

The Date

The world stopped for Detective Beckett at that very moment. Castle fell to the ground with a thud. He had pushed her out of the line of fire and she had stumbled over her 9 inch heels as she fell. Their murder suspect was now lying on the ground with a bullet to his chest thanks to Detective Esposito's bullet, which had been fired only a moment too late. She couldn't hear any background noise, she couldn't focus on anything now except the man lying on the ground gasping for breath. She was beside him in an instant. His blood was everywhere. Very quickly it had stained her hands as she tried to compress his wound.

"Castle, why did you do that?" She asked him desperately as she tried to stem the blood but it was everywhere. She heard Ryan behind her calling for an ambulance.

"Kate?" he coughed." His eyes began to close over as Rick began to lose consciousness.

"No!" She told him angrily. "Don't you dare Castle, don't you dare leave me like this." She got Javi to take over pressing down on Castle's bullet wound. She checked that he was still breathing, and when she found that he wasn't she tried to hold composure. "Ryan, how far away is that ambulance?" She tilted his head back, making sure he had a clear airway and began CPR.

"ETA, ten minutes." Detective Ryan told her.

As she paused mouth-to-mouth to start compressions she told him "tell them I want it in five."

"Just hold on Bro, " Esposito told him as he knelt there. He kept looking at Beckett, wondering how she was keeping herself so together. She continued CPR solidly for the eight minutes it took paramedics to reach them. She was later told that it had kept him alive.

"I'm coming with him in the ambulance." Kate told the paramedics and they knew better than to argue. She grasped his hand as they drove to the hospital. "Just hold on Rick, please." Tears slid down her cheeks before she could stop them. Was this how he had felt when he rode with her in the ambulance after Montgomery's funeral? He wasn't even supposed to have been there. This was all her fault.

They had had a fight. It was all so stupid. The fourth installment in the Nikki Heat books was almost ready for release and Rick asked her to come with him to a pre-launch party.

"You want me to come with you to the launch of Frozen Heat?" She clarified a few days earlier. It was Friday night and they had just wrapped up a case and were on their way home for the night.

"Not the book launch no, but a get-together of those in the business, to basically promote the book launch." Castle tried to downplay the importance of the night. Beckett was easily spooked when it came to public events. They stepped into the elevator.

"But I'm not in the business."

"I know, but as the inspiration for Nikki Heat, I'm sure you would have a lot to talk about."

"Are you asking me to promote your new book Castle?"

"No, I'm not, look it was a dumb idea just forget it. I just thought that maybe you could use a night out, dress up, have a few wines, let loose."

She touched his arm gently. "Wait a minute, are you asking me to come along as your date?"

Rick's eyes lit up. "Would you be opposed to the idea?"

"I'm not sure I would use the word 'opposed'. Apprehensive perhaps. Then again, we are friends, friends can go on dates can't they?"

"Yes, my dear Detective. Yes they can." Castle was looking as giddy as a schoolboy.

"Remember Castle, friends. That's all this is."

"I'll pick you up tomorrow night, seven good for you?"

"I'll see you then." They exited the elevator, Beckett first as usual. And he couldn't stop staring at her as she walked a few steps in front of him. She had agreed to a date. Finally.

Saturday night was a completely different story. Beckett had a long bath, did her hair up in tight ringlets, her makeup flawlessly, and slipped on a little black dress. She paced nervously across her apartment and began to think up all the reasons why tonight was a bad idea.

Castle was early. He knocked on the door in eager anticipation and when Kate opened the door, his breath caught in his throat. She looked gorgeous.

"Castle...you're early."

"I know, but better to be early than late right?"

"I was just about to call you..." She trailed off.

"What's wrong?" Castle's brow furrowed.

Beckett brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, trying to buy her a few more seconds.

"I'm sorry, I can't come with you tonight."

His face dropped. "But you're all dressed up, you look stunning by the way."

"Thank you. Look I'm not feeling well, I had some Chinese for lunch that's been sitting in my fridge for a while. I got ready really early and I was feeling ok, but now, I just want to crawl into something comfy and hop into bed. I'm so sorry." She was lying to him, and Kate felt terrible. A part of her wanted to go with him, but a part of her was still scared of finally crossing that line.

"Look I don't have to go tonight, if you like I could stay with you for a while, make sure you don't need any help, there's nothing worse than food poisoning."

"That's sweet of you Castle, but you should go to your party. They're expecting you."

"There are things that are more important. "

"I already feel terrible, please don't make me feel worse." She protested.

"I insist."

Kate huffed at him. So Castle relented, only a little. "Look, I'll just stay for an hour, and then if you're feeling ok, I'll go to my party."

She smiled, surely Beckett could pull this off for an hour. Kate led him inside, sat him on the couch with a glass of wine while she retreated into the bathroom to remove her makeup...she had to at least look ill. Beckett emerged ten minuted later wearing a singlet, cardigan and tracksuit pants. Her make-up was wiped off and hair had been pulled out to cascade down her shoulders. Rick still couldn't help but think she still looked gorgeous.

"Feeling better?" He asked her as she sat down next to him.

"Much better, thank you." She folded her legs up to her chest and sipped a glass of water.

Two hours later and Kate was so relaxed in Castle's company she had almost forgotten that she was supposed to be ill. Castle wasn't an idiot and he very quickly worked it out. A part of him wanted to let it go, but a part of him couldn't let go the fact that she had stood him up on a date and lied about it.

"I'd better make a move or else there won't be a lot of point in going. It's a shame I couldn't show you off in that dress." Castle stood up from the couch.

"Yeah, Lanie helped pick it out at lunch today."

"Oh yeah, what did you have?" He had caught her now and Kate realised her mistake straight away.

"Obviously not Chinese, I'm sorry Castle."

The expression on his face was clear, Castle was hurt. "Why Kate? You didn't want to come to the party, but you didn't have to lie."

"I don't know what to tell you, I panicked."

"At the thought of going on a date with me?"

"No, I guess at the thought of being somewhere so public with you, on a date. Everyone watching and analysing everything I say."

Castle sat back down on the couch. They were going to talk through this. "You're in public with me every day at the precinct, and everyone listens to what you say, how is that any different?"

"You know it's different Castle." Beckett ran her hands through her hair.

"Because it's a date? That's what scares you?"

"I want to go on a date with you Rick." Her sudden admission startled him. "And not just as friends." The words had started coming out of her mouth so she thought she may as well have kept going.

Rick wasn't entirely sure how to proceed, so he opted for a simple "Ok..."

"But once we open that box, there's no going back. I want it to work, if it didn't work, I'm not sure if we could ever go back to what we have now."

"You're still not ready." Rick sighed, not angrily, just disappointed.

"I want to be, Rick. You have been so patient with me, and I can't even be honest with you."

"Don't beat yourself up, you told a white lie to get out of a party."

He was being so amazing she had to come clean. It was now or never. "It's not fair on you to start something under false pretences. I've been lying to you since I woke up in the hospital." A single tear slid down her cheek.

Castle knew exactly what she meant. "You heard what I said."

"But I didn't want to listen. I have been such a mess."

"I'm going to go." He stood up, completely shell-shocked. He began to walk away.

"I love you." It came out strong, clear, confident, like she really meant it.

It stopped it in his tracks. "I think you and I have a very different idea of what love is." He didn't turn to look at her, he just left. He walked out the door and down the stairs without stopping, because the moment he stopped he would completely fall apart.

The next time she saw him was when he unexpectedly turned up at an arrest. She had tried calling him but when he didn't respond she knew she would have to give him space the same way he had done for her. That was two weeks ago. Detectives Beckett, Ryan and Esposito went to speak to a suspect about some things that just didn't add up. They never expected an arrest so they weren't wearing their bullet-proof vests. The suspect turned paranoid and violent when he realised they were on to him and he pulled out a gun. Castle had walked in sometime in the middle of everything, Beckett hadn't even noticed. When she did notice that he was standing right next to her it was far too late, the suspect had pulled a gun, Kate hadn't had a chance to pull hers and neither had Ryan. Esposito had his aimed and ready. Kate started to visibly shake as the gun was aimed at her, she was defenceless. The bullets went off and Kate was on the ground and Rick was bleeding out on the floor. It was all her fault.