John Gage laid shivering in a treatment room at the ER of Rampart General Hospital. If he were being quite honest, he really didn't want to be there, a fact that he'd let Roy, under no uncertain terms, know. Even so, the senior paramedic had refused to drop it, all but forcing him to unfortunately give in. John really hated to admit that part of him knew Roy was right and that he needed to be seen by someone with more medical experience than he possessed. It didn't make him any less grumpy with the current situation however.

All John really wanted was to just go home, back to the warm confines of his bed, and let the fatigue pull him back into the comforting realm of sleep. The very same fatigue which had plagued him for the last week, the fatigue which never seemed to truly let up no matter how much he slept. John was but the poor, helpless victim and the fatigue his master. Ultimately it was in control of his life now, and tough beans if he didn't care for the new arrangement.

He didn't care for it, either. Not only had it deprived him of being able to do the job he loved, but also it robbed him of the basic feeling of being a functional human. Simple things that everyone takes for granted, like just being able to take a shower without nearly passing out or being able to stay awake long enough to watch TV, were now things of the past.

If that wasn't all, fatigue had also invited it's friends, fever and malaise and as far as John was concerned they were all unwelcome guests. As if it wasn't bad enough being too exhausted to get out of bed everyday, the fever made sure he was as good and uncomfortable as possible. No matter what John did, the fever remained stubborn and clung to him like a literal wet blanket, leaving him feeling like he was out in the Arctic. Naked.

Sure, there was the occasional reprieve, a temporary end to the pointless suffering, but it wasn't good enough. It was only when he was asleep or shortly after taking a fever reducer, did he feel any type of relief but even taking them had its own cost. The price for a few good hours of feeling slightly better was that he'd have to endure the horrible chills as the medicine wore off and his temperature resumed its upward climb once more. John almost wondered if it was worth it.

Speaking of chills, why couldn't someone provide him with a blanket? John was sure he was at ice cube status by now. Well, maybe when he froze to death someone could at least find a purpose for him which was more than he had currently. Maybe he'd just ask Dixie or Dr. Brackett again when they came back.

Where was Dr. Brackett with the results of his blood test anyway? It felt like an eternity since he'd had to submit himself to that cruel and unusual punishment, but to be fair he'd never been much a fan of needles. Sure, John had no problem using them on others, but when it came to having them used on himself? It was a much different matter.

He'd had to use one on himself once when he'd been bitten by the rattlesnake though but that was only because the fear of dying had overshadowed the fear of a puny needle. Really, you'd be surprised at what you can overcome with the very real prospect of death looming over you. Speaking of death, that's exactly how he felt currently. Why did these things always seem to happen to him?

Seriously, when something bad happened why was it usually to him? As if it wasn't hard enough being a firefighter/paramedic, some higher power had seemingly deemed him as an unfortunate target for all of their anger. It was injury after injury, ailment after ailment and it wasn't fair. John had always known his job was dangerous but this was ridiculous. How many times could one person be put through the ringer?

Too many, apparently, and his conclusion made him feel sick. Or maybe that was just the illness he'd been unfortunate enough to contract, it was hard to tell. Also, where had Roy gone? He was the entire reason he was currently suffering on this examination table after all, so why wasn't he here?

Honestly, John was conflicted on whether it was good or bad that Roy wasn't here. The older paramedic had been a near constant thorn in his side, checking in on him everyday since he'd gotten ill. His intentions were good, no doubt, but John would've much preferred being left to his own devices and being able to just ride this out on his own.

Unfortunately, that wasn't an option as long as Roy had a say in it and deep down, John really did appreciate how much his friend cared about him. He'd return the favor in a heartbeat, for any of his shift mates, really. They were all like one big, dysfunctional family and he'd never have it any other way. Even Chet wasn't all that bad of a guy, despite what he'd have you believe.

John startled awake, a sudden touch bringing him out of the blissful nap he hadn't known he had been taking. He hadn't remembered falling asleep but such was his life lately and he found he wasn't much surprised.

"Hey, Johnny," The smiling face of Dixie said above him. "Sorry to wake you. How're you feeling?"

John took a moment to consider his words.

"Like garbage that's been left out in the sun for a week." He finally replied. "Got my results? Really would like to go home. Sure my bed misses me, or maybe that's just me missing it."

"Your bed won't be missing you anytime soon, I can assure you." The voice of Dr. Brackett said as he stepped through the door, Dr. Early and his mysteriously vanishing partner filing in behind him.

"Johnny, we've discussed it, and we've all agreed it would be better to give it to you straight." Brackett continued, instantly causing John's heart to sink into his stomach. This was bad. This had to be very bad. "There's no easy way to tell you this, but it seems you have mononucleosis."

For a second it was like time had stopped. His fever ridden mind struggled to come to terms with what he'd just heard. The kissing disease? There's no way...

"I'm afraid there is." Doctor Early interrupted what John had thought had been his private ponderings. Whoops. "You see, the Epstein-Barr virus, which is the virus that usually causes mono, is transmitted by saliva. Which is why it's often called the kissing disease, but it doesn't mean it was necessarily caused by kissing. It could've been something as simple as sharing a glass or a fork with someone infected."

John couldn't help but stare, disbelieving, at the doctors. There was absolutely no way he could've contracted mono. No way whatsoever.

"I haven't... Nobody has been sick. I.." He stammered, the ability to form sentences seemed to have gotten replaced by the pure disbelief of the situation. Damn.

This time Brackett answered.

"They might not have been. Once you're infected by the Epstein-Barr virus it stays inside you. Usually it lies dormant, but it can, at random, reactivate and be passed on to others. In fact, plenty of people don't present symptoms and don't even know they carry the virus. Unfortunately, it seems you've lucked out." Brackett smiled slightly at John's almost outraged expression before continuing. "Of course, mono can also be contagious for up to, at least, 18 months after presenting symptoms. So it's just as likely you've came in contact with some saliva from someone who fits that time-frame."

"The thing is, Johnny, you did contract it. It won't do any good worrying about how." Early interjected, briefly sharing a smile with Brackett and Dixie. It was no secret that John Gage was a real ladies' man and all three of them were almost willing to bet they knew exactly how he'd been able to get infected.

Even Roy, who had thus far been silent, knew his partner just as well and let the same grin decorate his face.

"So, what's the recovery time like on this?" John sadly questioned. He was a defeated man. "I miss working. And being able to stay awake for more than a couple hours at a time. This is a real drag."

Both doctors met each other's eyes, as if silently asking each other who should be the bearer of bad news.

"You could be sick for a month or possibly longer. One of the most defining traits of mono is, unfortunately, how long it can last." Brackett spoke first, much to the relief of Early. At least he wouldn't be the enemy here today. "As for when you can go back to work, we need to play that by ear, but typically? I'd say in several months."

John opened his mouth to protest what he deemed to be a cruel and unusual punishment but Brackett stopped him.

"No, Johnny. Your spleen could be enlarged and with your job it'd be much too dangerous to risk potential rupture. That goes for any strenuous activity, we just can't risk it."

"Can't say I'm particularly attached to my spleen..." John mumbled. He was beyond ready for a nap. The blissful embrace of sleep definitely would be a lot better than having to lie there subjecting himself to any more embarrassment.

"Johnny. I mean it, no strenuous activity. Of any kind."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it." He sighed. This was the worst day of his life and he'd definitely had some rough days. "Can I go?"

A few minutes later, Dixie and the doctors finally departed but not before Brackett grinned at him and Early gave him a pat on the back. The older doctor was never much good at disguising his amusement and it was clear as day in the way his eyes shined back at John. He could tell even Dixie was amused at his plight, even if she was better at hiding it than the others.

At least now he could finally go home. Back to his warm bed. Back to the solace of sleep he so craved. He couldn't wait.

"So, who is she?" A voice behind him questioned, momentarily startling him as he spun around to face none other than Roy. Roy who was his best friend, partner... And whose face was currently lit up like a Christmas tree.

Damn it, Roy.

"How do you know it's a she? You heard the docs, I coulda just got it from sharing a drink with someone."

"I just know you, junior." Roy replied. "The incubation time for mono is a month or so, isn't it? How many dates have you had around then? I remember a Susan, Betty, and Linda. Maybe a Becky too?"

John glowered at his friend, hoping he'd get the hint but he stubbornly refused to tone down his undisguised amusement.

"And didn't you have a date that once with that waitress? Oh, what was her name?"

"Roy?" John asked. "Have you ever had mono?"

"I'm not sure," Roy thought about it a second. "I don't remember ever having it, but I coulda been infected and not known it."

Suddenly, without any warning, John sprang forth and Roy stood in stunned horror as his best friend met his lips with his own. It lasted only about five seconds but it felt like a lifetime before John finally pulled back and Roy met his dark brown eyes with his blue.

"Guess we'll find out." John whispered.

A/N: Sorry, I had to. ;)

Despite the actual severity of the illness, people seem inclined to just go "How'd you get mono? Who've you been kissing?! LOL". You feel like death warmed over and everyone is just laughing and making jokes out of your misery.

Don't make out with your ex, kids. Or really anyone, for that matter.