It was a rainy and unpleasant evening in mid-October that saw one Sirius Black and his usual associates gathered over a large stack of books in the Gryffindor common room. Well, Sirius and Peter were huddled over them. James was dripping on them, having just returned from a disastrous Quidditch practice.
"Would you go drip somewhere else? Pince'll have my head, you know they're out in my name."
"What do I care? The first match against Slytherin is next weekend, we're doomed."
Sirius looked up sharply and glared at his best friend. "You had better not be, I've a bet with Reg."
"How much?" James asked, flopping back in his armchair.
"More than I can afford to lose, that's how much."
Peter leaned back and put his feet up on the table, narrowly missing the books. "Dunno why you're so worked up, you know they won't – !" His last word was cut off as Sirius pushed his feet off the table and he lurched forward. "God, Sirius, what's got your wand in a knot?"
"Lorentz marked him down five points on the last Arithmancy assignment," Remus said, not even bothering to glance up from a moldy-looking tome he'd snagged from the Restricted Section. "Something about being all flash and no substance..."
"That's all theory and no substance," Sirius ground out, as the others fell about laughing. "What does he know, anyway? The only reason he teaches here is 'cause the Arithmancer's Guild rejected him."
"How d'you know?" Peter said. "Maybe he didn't want to... arithmance for a living."
"And that's not what he does? That's what Father said when he got my marks for last term."
James sniggered. "What, is he from the Sirius Black School of How to Rationalize Low Marks?"
Sirius sent him a withering glare. "For your information, I did very well last term."
"You always do," Remus mumbled. "Although how you do it is beyond my comprehension, I don't think I've ever seen you study for more than an hour at a stretch."
"Why should I study? I know the material, why waste time that might be better spent in more pleasurable pursuits?"
"Does Molly Ainsworth qualify as a more pleasurable pursuit?" James grinned. "Saw you making eyes at her in Transfiguration yesterday."
"No, she doesn't. 'S not my fault she kept turning around like that."
"They don't know what to make of you, you know," Peter said conversationally. Upon being presented with three confused faces, he rushed on. "The professors. Half the time they're convinced you'll never make anything of yourself, the other half they're all dead sure you'll go on to become a household name. Famous throughout the world, and all that."
"Who told you that? Have you been pleasuring Slughorn during lunch or something?" Sirius snorted.
Peter looked stricken. "I- I- I had an appointment to discuss my mark with Professor Gilmour – too bad we won't have him again next year, he's been pretty good – and he said to meet him in the staffroom, and I guess they were having a meeting – "
"With Sirius as the main topic of discussion?" Remus quirked a brow questioningly. He had a point, Sirius thought. Peter had been known to tell stories on occasion.
"I dunno. I'm just telling you what I heard."
"Hm. D'you think I could make a name for myself doing nothing? I'm quite good at it... and I'm sure everyone at Hogwarts knows my name already..."
"Oh please..."
They broke off their discussion abruptly as a third year came through the portrait hole and started toward them. There were several mysterious glances, all communicating the need to impress upon this rogue upstart that they were fourth years, and not to be tangled with. But then the boy walked straight up to Sirius.
"Sirius Black?" Behind the kid, James's eyebrows shot up so high they nearly left his forehead. Sirius smirked. Obviously this proved his point. People did know his name.
"Yeah?"
"Professor McGonagall said to give this to you," the boy said, holding out a roll of parchment, which Sirius took.
"Huh. Wonder what she wants? Says she wants to see me tomorrow after lunch."
"Dunno... do you think she figured out about the toilet seat we nicked from Moaning Myrtle?"
"Why would she just send for you?"
"Good point. Hey... where'd that kid go? Hey... hey, you! Yeah, you," Sirius yelled across the common room. "Come here a tick, I've a question for you."
"I don't know what she wants with you, she didn't tell me," the kid said, as he walked back toward them. What was his name? Edwin? Edward? On second thought, Sirius couldn't be bothered to remember.
"No, no, it's not about that. My mates here don't believe people around here actually know my name. But you did, eh?"
"In a way, I guess."
"In a way? What the deuce does that mean?" Sirius said, brow furrowed.
"Well, McGonagall told me to give this to you, and I told her I didn't know who you were, so she told me to just look for the moody one."
It was as though a Cackling Cracker had gone off in their corner. Remus could barely get out his next question for laughing. "And – and you were able to find him? Just like that?"
"It wasn't that hard..."
By this point, James was rolling about on the floor clutching at his stomach. Peter had fallen out of his chair, and simply lay on the carpet, gasping with hilarity. Sirius surveyed them haughtily from his seat.
"Well, it's nice to see you lot are so easily amused," he sniffed. Their laughter only redoubled. "Fine, that's it, I'm off to bed."
This announcement was met with a gasp of "Moody!" from Peter, which set the others off again. Sirius grabbed the top book, Animagi For Those With Animal Tendencies, turned on his heel, and went directly up the stairs to the dormitory. Those fools ought to watch who they called moody.
Directly after lunch the following day, Sirius left James and the others to walk to the greenhouses while he went up to see Professor McGonagall. Stopping in front of the ornately carved wooden door, he knocked three times.
"Come in!"
He pushed open the door and, shaking back his hair (its length was really getting ridiculous, even if it did look better that way), dropped into a tartan-upholstered chair.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Black."
"Good afternoon, Professor."
"Ginger newt?"
So this wasn't a disciplinary meeting after all.
"Thank you, Professor." If there was one thing Sirius had, it was manners. When he wanted to use them, that was.
He bit off the newt's right hind leg and chewed quietly, wondering how she would have responded if he'd ripped its head off.
"Mr. Black, have you heard anything from your cousin recently?"
Sirius choked on the newt's tail. Of all the things he was expecting to hear, it wasn't that.
"Erm... were you thinking of any cousin in particular? I've got a few, you know."
The professor chose to ignore his comment, and said, "Andromeda. Your father's... erm," she trailed off, seemingly unable to work out the genealogical web.
"Younger brother's second daughter. She's also my third cousin on my mother's side. No, I've not heard from her since last term, I don't think. Certainly didn't get any post from her over summer."
"Oh?"
"If there was anything from her, Mother would have incinerated it. Like the tapestry."
"The tapestry?" It wasn't often Sirius could talk about something McGonagall didn't know about; unfortunately, he had no desire to stay on this particular topic.
"It's a family tree, really. And if one is not on the tapestry, one is not in the family, so far as Mother is concerned. Andromeda is not on the tapestry. Or she isn't anymore."
"Ah."
Sirius nodded. "So what about her?"
"Well... of course you know she married a Muggleborn."
"Of course."
"The thing is, Mr. Black, you are going to have a new cousin. Rather soon, too."
His jaw dropped. Andy, a mother? At least it wasn't Bella. "I should offer my congratulations."
"Eventually, perhaps. But right now it is your other cousin, Bellatrix, who concerns us most."
Sirius sighed and picked at the fabric of his robes. "You think she'll go after Andy for having a child with a Muggleborn." It wasn't a question. "Frankly, I'm surprised she hasn't tried to do it before."
McGonagall removed her spectacles and set them on a stack of parchment. "Far be it from me to claim to understand Miss Black's thought processes, but apparently she thought there was a chance Andromeda might leave her husband. Now that there is the child..."
"Bella hasn't got any thought processes. She just... does."
"In any case, Andromeda and Ted thought it would be best to go under the Fidelius Charm. I don't know if she intends to tell you their location, but she did ask me to inform you of what was going on."
He slouched in his seat slightly, then said, "Thank you, Professor." He stood to leave, then realized this was an opportunity too good to be wasted. "Erm, I do have one other question, though."
She picked up her spectacles again and replaced them on her nose. "Indeed? And what is that, Mr. Black?"
"Well...," In for a knut, in for a galleon, "I had a few questions about the Animagus transformation."
He couldn't have surprised McGonagall more if he'd suddenly offered to be Snape's best friend.
"The Animagus transformation? You won't be studying any human transfiguration until your sixth year."
It was either tell the truth (which was absolutely, completely forbidden) or run the risk of offending her slightly. Sirius chose the latter.
"Well, Professor – please don't take this as an insult – I just thought I would do a bit of outside research. Not that I'm bored in your class or anything – "
"But you're just a genius in the subject, and needed more stimulation," McGonagall finished dryly. "Mr. Black, I have heard tell that the library in your family home is at least the size of the one here at Hogwarts, if not larger. Surely you can find something to tide you over."
It was astounding how easily she had diverted his question. "Professor, that library is all Dark Arts, and – "
"Go to class, Mr. Black. I think you've missed all of Herbology by now – I believe your next class is Potions? And don't let Mr. Potter forget his punishment."
"Ah, Professor, surely you can let it go?"
"I most certainly cannot, Mr. Black."
"It was just an earthworm into an earwig – "
"When the earwig is the size of an eagle that becomes a problem. Especially when it attempts to devour Miss Evans. Dismissed."
"Yes, Professor." Turning to leave, Sirius paused by the door jamb. "Thanks for telling me, though."
"Certainly, Mr. Black. Oh and by the way –," she paused, looking up from a sheaf of parchment, "your exam tomorrow is on cross-species switching. I don't expect you'll need to study."
Sirius grinned. "Of course not." He hesitated, looking at the tin of ginger newts as he opened the door. Then he shouted the incantation and dashed out into the corridor, leaving the professor to contend with an escaped rabble of ginger butterflies.