My acalaides might cost me my dream

DISCALIMER – I don't own anything, but a gal can dream, right? :)

ok this is completely AU and set in season 5 with nikki too, a figment of my imagaination

chapter one.

Samantha ryan was a woman that strived to be the best at everything that she did. A qualified doctor at the age of 23 and after 6 years of blood sweat and tears and a lot of bloody hard work- a pathologist.

She had arrived at the morgue at a little after seven in the morning and was sat her office trying to complete the mountaine of paperwork that had grown without her even realizing it.

A knock on her office pulled sam away from her paperwork not that she didnt welcome it

"Leo, what can I do for you?". She asked with a smile.

"Thought you could with a break". He replied, handing her a cup of coffe.

"Thanks". She answered taking the cup from him.

Leo turned on his heels to leave the room, but was interrupted by sam's voice.

"Why don't you join me the company would be great". She asked him.

Leo smile at her and joined her sitting on the sofa. The two pathologists fell into a comfortable silence as they sipped on their coffees.

"So what do you think of the new pathologist Harry Cunningham?". Leo asked breaking the silence.

"He has great protential but is inexpearience but apart from that I think he will fit in here just nicely, but don't tell I said that, he thinks i'm the big mean boss and i'm going to let him think that for a while". Sam told him ans soon the two doctors fell into fits of laughter.

Once they had finally finished laughing Leo took a long hard look at sam and fighting with himself to ask the question that had been burning his tough for the last two years.

"Can I ask you something?". He asked hestently

"Sure". She replied over her coffee cup.

"What happened to your father?". He asked all in one breath.

Sam took a long time to consider if she sould answer his question.

She had been working with Leo for the last eight years and she wasn't ashamed to admit that he had gotton her throught some of her most darkest days and somewhere along the line she had fallen for him and boy had she fallen hard.

But she wasn't going to tell him that no he would rejection her and she couldn't face the embarrestment and humiliation and having to work with him everyday after that.

"My father was my hero, the day he died we were arguing and because of that he was distracted and didn't chek the car like he did everyday so it was my fault that he died, I mean Gwin and mammy so shouldn't I blame me too?". She confessed to him.

"Sam, no sam you can't think like that. What happened to your father was a tragady, a poor and utter tragady and you did not cause his death. Do you hear me?". He told her steanly.

"Maybe if hadn't...". again Leo cut her off.

"No! Stop this sam do you hear me? You are in no way responcable for your father death so don't you dare blame yourself for it, your smart, intelligent, beautiful, kind and caring so don't you dare". He explained to her.

"I was up seeing them the other week and as you know we don't have the best of realationships, anyway we got into this hugh argument and things were said but that's not the point. The point is that what was said is true well I can't but think that they are true". Sam told him.

"What was said, sam?". He asked, gently.

"Just sister stuff". She replied with a wattery smile.

"Sam". He said softly.

"Well she's right. I'm nearl 40 no friends well real ones anyway no husband to speak of and as for kids, I can kiss that goodbye but yet and all she screwed her life up and yet gets to have it all. Well I guess hat's fair in a sense". She wgispered as she sat there and poured her heart out to him.

Leo sat there and listen to the broken woman in front of him and his heart ached as she spoke ever so softly and he ever so badly wanted to put the pieces of her back together and mend her. Because he had his secrets too, that he never not dare voice put loud.

"No that's not true, you can still have all that. If anyone deserves it all you do". He told her

"why do you what happens to me". Sam asked him annoyed at all the pity he was giving her.

"Because I do and it's the truth". He told her.

"Stop it ok just stop this pity train. You feels sorry for me so you tell me what you think I want to hear ok just..."Leo again cut her off.

"No! It's not pity Sam ok it's not, you come in here everyday with the world on your shoulders because of you mother and sister and that's not fair,, you deserve it all Sam. The house, the husband, the kids, the dog, hell even the picket white fence and don't ever again put yourself down again" he exclaimed his temper getting the better of him.

"Ah did you write all that down before hand so you wouldn't forget? I mean yes professionally i'm at the top of my game. Everybody wants to work with the almighty Samantha Ryan but personally she damaged, nobody would want to touch her". She yelled at him.

"That's not true". He told her calmly.

"BUT WHY?" she screamed at him.

"BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU SAM!". He screamed as loudly back at her as she had at him.

Stunning into silence as the words left his mouth.

Suggestions/comment are very welcome :)

Mary – Ellen xx