A/N: This takes place between chapter 1 and chapter 3 of RWBY: Chaos. Also, this was written when Jeremy Dooley was still new to Achievement Hunter.
Torchwick sat in the backseat of the car heading back to his personal hideout, puffing away on a cigar. He'd just gotten out of his meeting with Cinder and her lackeys where he learned about some moron with a death wish raiding their warehouses. The Joker. What a stupid name.
He spoke up to his driver, a White Fang bodyguard. "Let me tell you, Perry, I have had quite the day today."
"Um, my name's Jeremy," his driver corrected him.
"Jeremy? What happened to Perry?"
"Um, I don't think Perry made it out of the Grimm attack on Vale."
"Goddamnit, Perry. I kinda liked you. Well, screw him. So, Jeremy, what's your story?"
"Well you see, I've been a long time supporter of the White Fang, but I only just joined up recently. It's not the easiest being new, though. The other long time members are constantly…"
Torchwick very quickly lost interest and gazed out the car window while letting his driver keep talking. The route they were taking took them past another one of their warehouses. As they passed it by, Roman's eye caught something. That door shouldn't be left open.
"... and they all keep making jokes about my height-"
"Stop the car," Torchwick interrupted his driver's story.
"Um, stop?" Jeremy asked.
"Yes! Stop!"
The driver did as he was told and stopped in the middle of the street. "What's wrong?"
"Pull up to our warehouse over there. Someone needs to be taught a lesson on keeping doors closed."
Jeremy turned the car around and parked it in front of the warehouse. As soon as the vehicle came to a stop, Roman was out the door and marching to the entrance, cane in hand and cigar in mouth. Jeremy turned the car off, grabbed his gun, and jogged after him.
Once they reached the door, Torchwick stopped to examine the doorknob… or at least, where it would've been.
Jeremy looked at it over his shoulder. "Is that-"
"Yep. Looks like it was acid. Perry, we've got a break in on our hands." Torchwick raised his cane, ready to fire, and advanced through the door.
"Um, it's Jeremy," his driver tried correcting him before following him in.
Upon entering the warehouse, Torchwick and his driver were greeted with a most disturbing sight. The building was littered with bodies. All of the White Fang members that were supposed to be guarding the weapon and Dust supplies now lay dead.
Torchwick looked around in anger. "Mother f-"
"Trevor!" Jeremy shouted when he recognized one of the dead. He ran over, dropped his gun, and dropped to his knees next to his friend's body. Upon closer inspection, both of them noticed the body's pale face and disturbing grin.
"It's exactly like the ones from the North side," Torchwick noted. "It's this 'Joker' character again."
Suddenly, from behind them, they heard a high pitched voice say, "Oh! So you've heard o' my Mistah J!"
Both men turned with weapons at the ready to see a young woman dressed in red and black holding a wooden baseball bat with matching colors.
"Who the hell are you?" Torchwick demanded.
"Oh, my mistake. How rude o' me." She held out her hand and stepped forward as if to shake his hand. "Hiya! The name's Harley. Harley Quinn."
Before she could get close enough to actually reach Torchwick's hand, Jeremy lunged forward and bashed her in the face with his gun, knocking her to the ground. "You did this! Didn't you?!" He shouted, in a rage at the loss of his friend and fellow White Fang brothers.
"Owie," was Harley's only response as she clutched her now bleeding nose.
"I'm gonna make you pay!" The enraged Faunus shouted as he pressed the barrel of his gun to her temple. Suddenly, something stuck him in the neck. He reached up and pulled a small syringe from his neck. "What is-"
"And let that be a lesson to you." The two men turned to see who was speaking. Behind them was a man dressed in a purple suit, with a pale face, green hair, and bright red lips. He was holding a large handgun, the source of the dart in Jeremy's hand. "Don't touch my stuff."
Torchwick and his bodyguard both turned their guns on him. "So I'm guessing you're the guy who's been hitting our Dust stores," the master thief assumed. "You're Joker."
"Oh so you've heard of me already? Damn. And here I had this whole introduction planned."
While the two spoke, Jeremy began to notice himself slowly starting to chuckle and his mouth pulling itself into a smile against his will. "Heh heh. What did- heh heh- what did you do to me-hee hee hee?!"
"Oh that? Oh nothing really. I just used a concoction of my own making to unleash something in your subconscious and bring you some real happiness."
Jeremy's chuckling turned into hearty laughter. His grin grew grotesquely wider. He turned to Torchwick and made a disturbing request. "Ha Ha Ha! Kill me- Hee Ha Ha Ha!"
Roman ignored his request and turned back to the Joker. "Your days of stealing from us are done, you crazy son of a-" Before he could finish, he was struck in the back of the head and fell to the ground. His vision went blurry and his limbs felt heavy. Everything sounded muffled. He could feel a warmth flowing from his scalp and down his neck. Harley moved into his vision, holding the lower half of her red and black bat. The other half lay scattered about in splinters around him.
As Harley joined him by his side, blood still flowing from her nose, Joker cackled and spoke. "Oh no no no. We can't have you interrupting this beautiful moment." As he said that, Jeremy fell to the floor in front of Torchwick and rolled on his back, revealing his impossibly huge smile and paling face, as he was literally dying with laughter.
"Isn't that just music to your ears?!" Joker shouted, throwing his arms into the air and listening to the laughter.
Harley cuddled up to his side. "Oh yes, Puddin'. I love this song."
Torchwick watched, still concussed, as his driver continued to laugh uncontrollably until he ran out of breathe, desperately tried to gasp for air, and then went silent with a giant grin stretched across his face.
The Joker's expression went from that of glee to that of disappointment. "But, like all good things, it never lasts." And with that he shoved Harley away from him and to the floor directly in front of Torchwick.
As she picked herself back up, she locked eyes with the master thief. "Oo! What about him, Mistah J? We ain't unleashed his subconscious yet."
"No no no, Harley. Weren't you listening?" The genocidal clown walked over to the both of them. "I've got much bigger plans for Mister Torchwick here. But he does still need to be properly packaged for shipping." With that said, he reached over and pressed the overcharged joy buzzer on his hand into Roman's shoulder.
He shouted in pain as electricity coursed through his body. All he could hear before losing consciousness was the Joker's laughter.
"Shocking, isn't it? HAHAHAHA!"
A/N: Just more oneshot fun with Torchwick like RWBY: Jailbreak to explain events with him without breaking up the flow of Chaos. Hopefully people will read this one.