Too Little Too Late

Disclaimer: Glee belongs to FOX and RIB and Dalton, Julian and Logan, as well as all other of the Dalton boys mentioned belong to the lovely CP Coulter.

Warnings: May contain spoilers for Dalton if you haven't read everything

Enjoy ;)

Loving Julian Larson was easy. Breaking up with him wasn't.

Getting over Julian Larson was hard. Forgetting him was impossible.

And that wasn't because his ridiculously handsome face would be smiling at you from every screen, poster and magazine now that his new movie had trumped the entirety of the Twilight series in ticket sales.

He just wasn't a person that you easily forgot. Especially not if it was your fault that you lost him. If it had been you who had made him walk out on you. Who had let him walk away. Who hadn't stopped him.

Logan Wright knew all of that all too well. Because he had been the one who got away. The one who had let Julian Larson get away. Even pushed him away.

He was the one who would have to live with this his biggest regret, for all of his life. Because now it was too late.

xxXxxXxxXxx

"Hollywood Hottie Getting Hitched!"

"Dreamy Daredevil Tying the Knot"

Thos were only two of the countless headlines that seemed to be covering every magazine, TV Talkshow and webzine. Julian Larson was getting married to the new Starlet on the Popstar heaven. Honey…Marmelade…Nutella… Something sweet and sticky with questionable nutritional value, in her name at least, just like she seemed in her interviews.

Logan frowned. He knew that he was being mean, for all he knew the girl could be a really nice person, even though she seemed like a dumb, superficial hick. He just didn't like her because of the way she acted in interviews.

Which was bullshit. He didn't like her, true, but the reason was that he was jealous. Not that he'd admit it. But he was. Seeing her with Julian broke his heart every time, until he felt like running away to someplace in the middle of nowhere where they didn't have TVs, or magazines, or internet or phones, or people.

Actually Mars was starting to sound pretty good right about now.

The blond was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of his phone ringing. He sighed as he read the name of the caller.

"Hey there Logan, still contemplating becoming a monk?" a cheerful voice chirped into the phone teasingly.

"Actually I was thinking Mars."

"You know you're an idiot right? Call him!" the voice urged.

"Fuck off Derek. It's none of your business." Logan snapped.

"Like hell it is Wright I've had it up to here with the two of you! CALL HIM YOU STUBBORN BASTARD!"

"I can't!" the blond finally admitted. "I can't do that to him. He's happy with Pancake now."

"Panc…You mean Sugar?" Derek asked, amused, but clearly confused.

"Pancake…Syrup it doesn't really matter now does it?"

"The name's Sugar not…ugh…Logan please just call him this is killing you both."

"Derek I can't. And even if, he has probably forgotten about me by now. It's been almost two years after all." The blond responded while he walked to the front door to get his mail.

"That's not true. You cannot honestly believe that. Every time he and I talk he asks me about you. About how you are. Why you're not calling. Why you won't let me give him your new number or address. But mostly just whether you're ok, whether you're happy. And I can always only tell him the same thing…"

"Der…" Logan started warningly, before he froze staring at a crisp white envelope in his hand, he would recognize the handwriting on it anywhere.

"I can tell him that you're hanging in there. That you're still alive and that you're on meds again. I can tell him that you don't want me to give him your address because you're a stubborn dickhead who has managed to get some completely insane idea of not being good enough for him into…"

The blond tuned out the vicious prattle of his aggravated friend while he dropped the rest of his mail and slowly opened the envelope, taking out the card that was inside.

"…and you can't tell me that you're going to let Julian make the biggest mistake of his life just because of your stupid insecurities. I know you care too much about him to do that Logan…"

Logan could hear what Derek said, but he felt himself unable to respond as he stared at the card in his hands.

"Logan? LOGAN?"

The former prefect hung up the phone before his friend could get another word in, wordlessly staring at the beautiful script on the white and pink card.

"The joining of two lives is an important and joyous occasion. We would like to share our happiness with all of our family and friends which is why we would like to hereby invite you to our wedding, to share our joy. Love Julian and Sugar."

The date and the time were inside, together with a request to inform them if he could come and a picture of the happy couple.

Logan didn't spare the bride-to-be a second glance, but his eyes lingered on Julian for a long time. He didn't look that different from what he had looked when Logan had last seen him almost two years ago. He was still the most beautiful man Logan had ever seen, hands down. He smiled brightly on the picture, one arm casually slung around the shoulder of the woman by his side. He seemed happy. But a look into his eyes told Logan that this wasn't Julian's happy smile. It was his happy movie star smile. It wasn't real.

He closed his eyes and almost crumbled the picture in his hands as he forced himself to stop thinking that way. Julian was happy. He was going to get married in two weeks, exactly two years after that fateful day when they had broken up, not that Julian probably remembered that.

He would have a happy life with his wife and eventually maybe even with children and everything would be great. Logan wasn't going to ruin that for him too.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Derek had tried calling him at least 5 times every day in those two weeks, trying to reach him, even come by his flat. But Logan hadn't been there. He had gone on a binge of too expensive booze and cheap twinks, meaningless fucks and loads of alcohol in an attempt to alleviate the pain.

It hadn't helped.

And so now, two weeks later, he found himself lying on his bed, hungover, Derek's words from their last conversation nagging at the edge of his conscience.

"…and you can't tell me that you're going to let Julian make the biggest mistake of his life just because of your stupid insecurities. I know you care too much about him to do that Logan…"

"…you can't tell me that you're going to let Julian make the biggest mistake of his life just because of your stupid insecurities…"

"…the biggest mistake of his life…"

Logan knew that it had been the biggest mistake of his life to just let Julian walk out on him. Because he knew that he and Julian had something special. Something real. But some part of his brain had convinced him that Julian couldn't love him, because he was damaged. That Julian could never be happy by his side.

But he now understood that that hadn't been his decision to make. And he knew that he had to at least let Julian know how he really felt. Not to mess up his wedding or force his hand, but to give Julian the chance to decide for himself with all the options laid out in front of him as they really were. So that, however this would turn out, they could finally find peace.

He had to find Julian before it was too late.

He jumped to his feet. He would have to call the Brightman Twins. He needed to ask them for a favor.

xxXxxXxxXxx

Getting from New York to LA in the twins private plane was easy, but it still took him time. Time he didn't have. Getting from the airport to the church the wedding was supposed to be in wasn't as easy. Traffic was horrible and he ended up changing cabs 6 times and walking a good part of the way.

It was already dark when he finally made it to the front steps of the church and he just burst through the doors, not paying heed to his surroundings.

"Julian!" he called, running in, only to come to a stuttering halt when he noticed that the church was dark and empty. "No." he whispered frantically. "No no no no no no!"

He had completely forgotten to check the time in his race to get here. The wedding had been supposed to be this evening. Could it be that he was already too late?

"You did always have a tendency for being fashionably late." An old familiar voice said, making him almost drop his phone as his head snapped up to look at the person speaking. "I guess its part of your charm."

"Jules I'm so…" Logan started, making his way towards the lone figure sitting on the stairs in front of the altar, fiddling with something in his hands that Logan couldn't quite make out, but he stopped when the brunet chuckled and dropped his gaze.

"You know, I never imagined my wedding to happen without you Lo. Not… Not ever since I met you. First I figured you'd be like…my best man…or something…but then I started to hope that maybe…just maybe…you could be the person to stand next to me in front of the altar rather than behind me…"

Logan took another couple of steps forward.

"I am so so sorry Julian. What I did was stupid and it hurt you. I pushed you away and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you walk out of that door. I mean I basically pushed you out…but I…" he broke off once more when Julian's eyes came up to meet his, a sad expression on his face.

"You know that that wasn't your mistake though right?" he said softly, as if he didn't have the strength to raise his voice.

Logan wanted nothing more than to just hug him, hold him, feel him close for the first time in years, but he knew he couldn't, so he restrained himself.

"But…?"

"Your mistake was not making me walk out Logan. It never was. We never were like Kurt and Blaine. If either one of us didn't at least spend two days a month over at Derek's I think he would have assumed that we had been exchanged. We fought. It's just who we were. But we always, always came to get the other back. And I waited for you to come Logan, I waited for you to tell me to come home like we did every time. Only this time you never came. You just let me walk away. You never fought for me or even tried to get me back. That was your mistake. Nothing else."

"I wanted to." Logan said lowly, slowly sinking down to the floor in front of Julian.

The brunet eyed him questioningly.

"From the very moment that you walked out that door all I wanted was to run after you and ask you to come back. I remember lying awake that night and just wishing that I could hold you. But then…"

"Then what Logan?" Julian probed gently "What was different this time?"

"I…" Logan didn't know what to say.

How did you explain to the love of your life that you lost him because you had been insecure and stupid? That you had ruined the best thing in your life because of insecurities that you should have gotten over ages ago? Because you had doubted him? No not him, never him. Doubted yourself. Doubted that you could be enough for him.

"You know I waited for you Logan…I waited and waited…but then when I came back you were just gone…and I thought that maybe…" the break in Julian's voice as he said that broke Logan's heart right along with it. "I thought that you didn't love me anymore…that the reason that you hadn't come for me was that you had found someone better…someone who could give you more…"

"No!" Logan said firmly, placing both of his hands on the sides of Julian's face to make the brunet look at him, for a moment forgetting where they were "Never Julian you hear me? Never! This was never about you making a mistake or about you not being good enough. Oh Jules I am so so sorry I never wanted you to feel like that. I never stopped loving you. There never could have been anyone else."

Logan didn't realize that Julian went very still at those words.

"But after that fight I was scared. I started to think about all the fights we had had and I started to think that I was gonna break you just like my father breaks everyone who tries to love him. And I didn't want to do that to you. You deserved better than some broken guy. I'm damaged. And the only way I could function was with you. With you I didn't need my meds to control my temper because you were enough. But that wasn't fair to you. I know you wouldn't leave me so I did. I left. Because I was convinced that it was the best for you."

"Did…" Julian swallowed hard "Did it ever occur to you that that was not your choice to make? Did you ever regret it? Miss me? Think of me at all?" the actor didn't even give him time to respond "You were just gone Logan! From one moment to the next you had suddenly completely vanished from my life…you…"

He was cut off when Logan brought a finger to his lips to silence him.

"To answer your questions: Yes, just today. Yes, every moment of every day since I last saw you. Yes, more than you could possibly imagine and yes, there wasn't a day when I didn't think of you, when not everything seemed to remind me of something about you, be it a song or a color or just a shooting star in the sky. I didn't mean to hurt you like I did. I just thought a clean break would be best for both of us." Logan said softly "I was wrong." he added quickly before Julian could say anything "And this will always be the biggest regret of my life. But I am glad that you're happy now Jules. You deserve it. I…I shouldn't have come."

The blond got up carefully, wanting to make his way outside. But Julian caught his wrist, not moving from where he sat.

"I'm glad you did." He whispered.

It was then that Logan fully realized where they were. He took in the sight of the dark church, flower petals and decorations still framing the aisle.

"Julian why are you…?"

"Why am I here? Not with my happy bride? Not married?" The brunet helpfully supplied when the blond seemed unable to find the words he was looking for.

It took Logan all of 30 seconds to process all Julian had said and work out exactly what it meant.

"You mean..?"

"I blew off the wedding. I couldn't marry someone I didn't love and I could never have loved her. My heart belongs to someone else. Always has. Always will. If he still wants it that is."

"Julian I…Oh god."

Logan surged forward pulling Julian up and capturing the actor's lips in a deep and desperate kiss which was eagerly returned. They pulled away breathlessly, only driven apart by the need for oxygen, but they stayed close, their foreheads touching, their arms keeping each other close as they both stood, eyes closed, drinking in the old new feeling of just being together.

After a while they pulled apart, still keeping their hands intertwined, as if they were scared that, should they let go, this would all turn out to be nothing but a dream.

"We have a lot to catch up on." Julian finally said.

"A lot of lost time to make good for." Logan nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled outside by Julian.

His Julian.

End Notes: I hope you enjoyed :D

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