It was a normal day in Gameindustri, most especially so in Planeptune where everything was completely and utterly absolutely normal. Indeed, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary was going on on this very fine day-
"AAAAAAAGGGGGGH!"
Neptune, Goddess of Planeptune loves to create a problem where none exists. Neptune is currently staring at the fridge in her Basilicom shaking it back and forth, "This can't be happening! Say it ain't so!" She cried out, continuing to shake the fridge. However, when nobody respond to her cry she sighed and shook her head, "What does a gal gotta do to get an explanation? I know, I'll start an investigation!" And just like that, her plan for the day was made. The investigation topic? A play most foul, nothing less than the murder of her beloved pudding cup!
To many this would likely make no sense, but them they simply clearly don't understand how dedicated Neptune is to her pudding. Indeed that girl would move the heavens for the sake of pudding. So it was just like that in which she donned on a brown overcoat and put on a silly looking brown fedora as she set off. Her first stop? Nepgear's lab. Normally she didn't bother Nepgear when she was in her lab but this was a crime most foul and couldn't be left to chance.
And so it was that Neptune made her way through the Basilicom, the coat trailing in her wake dramatically. She was a gal on a mission to solve the most horrifying crime of all, pudding murder. Nothing could stand in her way, nothing would stand in her way, she'd make sure of that. She quickly kicked open the door to Nepgear's lab and immediately before taking hold of the situation, the barrage of questions started.
"Why'd ya do it Gear?! It didn't do anything to you! I trusted you! How could you let me down like that? Actually whats for dinner? But why'd ya do it?! It was securely put away for safety!" Neptune didn't relent at all until Nepgear looked up from her work, confused and bewildered. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about big sis." Nepgear firmly stated. But Neptune wasn't satisfied with that answer, she had to get to the bottom of it! "You murdered my pudding cup!" "I did not." "It was the last one!" "I'm telling you it wasn't me." "So why'd ya do it?!" "I've been in my lab all day!"
Neptune sighed and rubbed her forehead, "This investigation isn't going anywhere. I need to investigate elsewhere, but don't think you're off the hook, okay?" With that Neptune quickly stormed out without even giving Nepgear time to respond who was left frowning, "... I think I'll check the cameras ..." Nepgear said, though Neptune was long out of sight.
Indeed, she was currently getting a ride to Lastation, this had to be an international incident! So her first stop? To interrogate the number two pudding lover in all of Gameindustri, Noire! Honestly, that probably wasn't even true, but it was the only lead she had. Which was to say it wasn't even a lead and she just decided to investigate there next. She quickly barged into the Basilicom making her way past staff, kicking open doors until she finally found the room that Noire was in, and quickly started scouring it with a magnifying glass, leaving a confused and bewildered Noire staring at her.
"Neptune? What in Gameindustri are you doing?" Noire asked of the purple haired goddess to which she replied rudely, "Shhh, shshshsh … I'm investigating the scene of a crime." "... In my office?" "Aha, so you admit it!" Noire sighed and rubbed her face, "I'm not admitting to anything. Just what is this all about?" Neptune quickly wheeled around with tears in her eyes staring at Noire with a pained sob on her breath, "Somebody murdered my last pudding cup!"
Noire started at Neptune as if trying to figure out she was serious, to which there was no sign to the contrary, which left Noire simply sighing. "Right, okay, what exactly lead you here to Lastation in pursuit of the pudding murderer?" Surely she had to have some reason to have selected Noire as her next target, right? "Absolutely nothing other than the fact that you love pudding!"
Noire could feel her blood pressure rising and the twitch she was developing over her eye, "A lot of people like pudding! So what?!" She said defensively, but Neptune wasn't going to back down, "Almost nobody loves it as much as me and you! I understand how It all went down now, you snuck into my Basilicom, you probably told all the guards you were there for diplomatic reasons … Then rather than come to meet me, you snuck to the kitchen! From there, the murder tool was nearby, the spoons in the drawer came out, and you viciously attacked and consumed the poor dear innocent little pudding! It never stood a chance! So why'd ya do it, Noire?!"
Noire could only rub her face in exasperation before she finally decided to ask, "So, wheres your proof?" "... Eh?" "Well surely you didn't just make that story up on the spot thinking that could convict me." "I mean …." Noire sighed loudly, "Listen Neptune, that's not how a murder mystery works, you can't just accuse somebody and expect the random person to confess. Even if they did it, they won't confess if you can't actually prove it." But all Neptune took from that was, "So you did do it!" Noire rubbed her face for a few moments before just pointing to the door, "Out." That was all that was needed to be said, and Neptune knew she was done so she headed out the door, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this murder, one way or another!"
She found herself on another trip, holding down the brown hat on her head, her coat billowing as she headed for another nation once more, this time? Leanbox. It wasn't a likely culprit on her list, but at this point she had to make the rounds, and so Vert was next on the chopping block of suspects! She would get to the bottom of this case no matter what, no matter who she had to bother. Because she was Neptune of course! Besides, that was clearly the way this plot thread was going, it was going to absolutely turn out to be Blanc so she had to visit Vert first, right?
With that in mind she made her way into the Basilicom. Really the trip was so smooth. "Almost like the author can't do combat scenes." Neptune commented to herself. Still, regardless of the authors ability or inability, she had a job to do, and so she was left kicking open doors until she found her way to Vert's room! Which she knew where it was, it was just the job of the protagonist to randomly kick open doors! Soon enough however, she kicks open the door that actually lead to her room and as susual, she was in front of multiple monitors, playing Four Goddeses Online barking orders into her headset.
Ran-Ran exhausted waved from the floor next to Vert in greetings to Neptune, who gave a smile and wave back, before she turned to Vert, "Alright Verty! Your evil deeds are uncovered and justice will now be dispensed upon you! Do you have any words to say in your defense?" That gave Vert a moment of pause, which she actually did, and took off her headphones, "Neptune, is now really the time?" "... Eh? Huh?" Neptune was obviously confused but Vert pressed on, "I mean honestly, you know i've been on a week long binge for this raid, i'm sure you must have gotten my message considering you sent 'lol so nothing new?' back in response."
Neptune sheepishly rubbed the back of her head in embarassment, "I kinda thought you were done by now, it's been a week ..." And Vert groaned, "We've barely even gotten started! Theres so much to do I haven't gotten a wink of sleep all week, i've been too busy! Just so busy! Now if you don't mind you're just wasting my time!" "Uhm, but about my puddin-" "I don't care, Neptune, whatever you think I did wrong will have to wait, now out!" And just like that, Neptune found herself physically shoved out of Vert's room into the hallway, She was shocked, it had been ages since she had just been thrown out like that without any explaination whatsoever! How rude! Well she knew Vert wasn't the culprit anyways which left-
Her phone ringing? Why did her phone ring? Neptune quickly picked it up and put it to her ear, "Protagonist speaking! I'm currently on a very important quest so make it quick! I don't have time for another adventure right now!" On the other end of the call was infact Nepgear, "Ah, Big Sister! You should come back, I went throu-" To which Neptune quickly rubbed the back of her head as she cut her off, "Hey listen, Gear, i'm pretty busy, we'll talk when I'm back home, okay?" "Big Sister wai-" And just like that she ended the phonecall. Neptune was too focused to let it distract her she had to head over to Lowee now so she could get the real culprit, Blanc!
Lowee was cold. Infact, it was snowed over when Neptune arrived. The cold didn't bother her though so she had to had to slowly trudge through the foot of snow. "Aaaggghh! The author is nepping with me again! We could have just skipped to the castle but noooo, they just want to watch me suffer!" She lifted up one foot over the other trying to step through the snow, but as if in response to her complaint, a huge gust of wind picked up a pile of snow and slammed it into her face knocking her over.
However the trip after that was relativley uneventful and soon she was drying off by a warm fireplace as Financier watched her with a sigh. She was dripping all over Blanc's carpet. That was simply no good. Still it was worse for Nepune who was soaked from the icewater. She started to run around in a blind panic, "Aaaghhh, it's so cold i'm going to be freezing for the next ten years!" She proclaimed, before storming off to give Blanc a piece of her mind. Once more she kicked open the door to find Blanc reading a book, laying down. "Whats the big idea?" Neptune demanded, "Why aren't your roads cleared of snow?!"
Blanc idly finished reading the page, then dogeared it, putting it down as she sat up, "... Neptune, theres a blizzard outside." "... Eh?" "An active one. Of course we haven't gotten rid of the snow yet." Blanc sighed at her, "Honestly, you're impossible." Neptune was left running over to the windows to check and … indeed, there was a blizzard going on that her stubbornness just had her trudge through with zero hesitation. She rubbed the back of her head once more, "Oh, ehehe, somehow I missed it?" She tried to offer. Blanc's only real response was to go back for her book again, starting to pick it up before Neptune cut her off by rapidly waving her hands.
"Wait wait wait! I gotta do the interogation while i'm here first!" Neptune demanded, which caused Blanc to stop reaching for her book. "Interogation? Me? What for?" She asked, as Neptune pointed at her dramaticlaly and accused her, "You murdered my pudding!" The whole room went silent for a few moments aside from the storm whistling on the windows, before Blanc continued to grab her book and put it back in front of her face, "Hey! Don't just ignore my claim like that!" Neptune demanded. Blanc sighed but kept reading, "Even if I wanted your pudding and would go all the way to Planeptune to steal it, I haven't been able to leave for the past two days because of the storm, Neptune. Go bother somebody else with your stories."
Neptune blinked a few times, "Has the storn really been that long?" "Yes. Any other questions?" Blanc sounded like she was reaching the end of her patience, which caused Neptune to get nervous and say quickly, "Nope! I'll be going now, nice to talk to ya Blanny!" With that Neptune quickly escaped from the room, running past Financier who was cleaning up the trail of ice water she had left behind as she once more ran out into the storm, unafraid of what was to come. So far all the roads were dead ends, and she was so sure it was Blanc! Who did that leave ….? She supposed she'd have to interogate Compa and Iffy back in Planeptune!
The trip out of the blizzard was just as easy for Neptune but it involved lots of whining that the reader of this short story will be spared for the sake of convience. As a result Neptune was on her way back home, well to her second home to be exact, to Compa's house on the outskirts of Planeptune! Really honestly, she lived so far away from the Basilicom that it was annoying to reach her, she needed pudding every time she made the trip to recover! Still Compa made the best pudding so it was worth it! It was in that state of mind she knocked on Compa's door, "Hey, Compa! It's me, nepnep, open up! This is a crucial plot vital interogation!"
However the one that opened the door wasn't Compa, but instead IF! She let off a long sight, "Just what are you going on about now, Nep?" She asked as Neptune shoved her way inside, "Theres been a murder! And i'm glad you're here too Iffy! I needed to talk to both of you about it! Plot convenience!" She explains. Compa pokes her head out of the kitchen area, "Whoa, a murder? That sounds serious, i'll be right there Nepnep!" She says, before ducking back into the kitchen. Iffy meanwhile goes to crash onto Compa's couch, "So who died on your watch? I would have heard about it if it was somebody important I figure."
Neptune flailed her arms, "Only the most superduper important person to me! Histoire must be covering it up!" "Nepgear died?!" "What?! Gege did?!" Compa called out from the kitchen to which Neptune flatfaced at, "What? No! Shes perfectly fine." "Then …. Lady Black Heart?" "No shes fine too." "... Marvy?" "Shes ninin-ing around still." "Okay I give up. What happened?" Iffy asked completely perflexed and out of possible awnsers as Compa came to sit down putting drinks in front of all three of them.
"My pudding was murdered!"
…The silence was deafening as they say. Neither Iffy nor Compa knew how to react so they simply took sips of their drinks. Neptune kept staring at them expectantly however so eventually Iffy just sighed and took charge, "Right, who have you investigated and whats leads do you have?" "Well basically just Gear and the other Goddesses so far" Neptune explained, and that actually got Iffy curious, "Huh, so the usual suspects are out." She confirmed. Still that didn't leave many options at all. Iffy rolled out a map of Gameindustri, "Well it came out of your fridge so we can rule out the other nations primarily." She tapped on Planeptune enhancing is so it filled the entire map.
Neptune nodded "Right but thats still a lot of ground and a lot of people." Iffy countered with, "We don't need to cover all of Planeptune Nep, only a limited number of people have access to the Basilicom. Lets just ask the staff if anyone weird came in for the past day?" Compa happily chimed in, "Ooooh, Iffy you're a genius!" to which she puffed out her chest proudly and lead the way back to the Basilicom. Once there however they ran into a roadblock.
"Sorry Neptune but nobody weird has come in the past few days, it's just been you and Nepgear coming and going." The usual guard explained, "Eh? Really? Nobody? Nobody at all?" Neptune asked insistently. The guard rubbed his chin, "Well, MarvelousAQL did stop by, but she was just checking that you were safe. She didn't actually go in." He clarified, to which Neptune sighed as they went inside themselves, "So it's a dead end then." Neptune complained as Compa patted her back comfortingly, "Cheer up Nepnep!" and Iffy looked determined, "In that case, we'll just have to see the scene of the crime ourself!"
And that was how the trio found themselves in the kitchen, it was completely normal, but inside the fridge was a grizzley scene, Neptune's final pudding cup, sitting alone on a shelf, tipped over onto it's side, most of its contents missing from inside of it. For a pudding lover like Neptune it brought a tear to her eye, what a horrifying and terrifying sight. What kind of monster could ever do something so henious?! IF poked at the spoon that was still sticking out of it, "It's cold, so this happened a good bit ago, and it's a … normal spoon so …. it …. was …." Iffy sighed, "I got nothing. Theres nothing to go on. Neptune are you sure you just didn't have a midnight snack?"
"I didn't Iffy, honest!" Neptune protested and IF sighed, "Well somebody did it, but we've got nothing to go on!" Compa sighed, "I'll just make you some more Nepnep, don't worry." but Neptune complains to her, "It's just not the same, I need to know who the heinous monster was that did this!" However It was at that time that Nepgear came into the room, "I know who did it." She announced, and everyone turned to face her surprised.
With a sigh she explained, "I just checked the camera footage." To which she had a TV rolled in by a robot, which she then put a tape into. The TV started the footage showing static, then the room they were standing in, and a bit of time passed before the fridge was suddenly opened, the culprit with a spoon in hand? Histoire! Neptune went wide eyed at the betrayal, "No way ..." She said as she watched Histoire eat her final pudding and then leave the spoon behind and close the fridge floating off. Neptune was so confused, but then she stormed out of the room.
She came across Histoire in a huff but before she could say anything Histoire cut her off, "Five hours, fifty three minues and seven seconds. You took far too long." "... Eh?" Was all Neptune could muster up in reply. Histoire calmly explained, "That was a test, i've been timing you for how long it would take you to find the culprit since you first discovered the pudding." which lead to Neptune crying out "You ate my last pudding as a test?!" Histoire closed her eyes, "I had hoped it would motivate you to try harder, but you just made a mess of things. As such, i'm cutting off your pudding funding, and I shall be instructing Compa not to make you any." "What?! Histy, why?!" "You need to work harder and it's clear that pudding has clouded your judgement. And thats that." Histoire floated off leaving Neptune all alone.
Neptune finally came to her senses, and fell to her knees, and propped herself on her arms before she let out one heartwracking sob, "HISTY YOU TRAITOR! THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFYING PUNISHMENT EVEEERRRRRRRRR!" She roared out before collapsing completely.