Nozomi wasn't sure there was anything better than nights spent with Honoka. Alone in her apartment, snuggled together on a couch just big enough for the both of them, it was as close to perfect as anything could get. Nothing could get in the way of it.
"It's Friday," Honoka said, popping a chip into her mouth from a bag on the table. She had her legs slung over an arm of the couch and back pressed up against Nozomi's side. "That means it's finally movie night."
"You know not every Friday is movie night, right?" Nozomi took a sip of her tea, pressing more weight into Honoka's back and wiggling in closer. "It just so happens that we're watching a movie tonight."
"I know. Friday is actually date night." Honoka kicked her legs back and forth, head bobbing side to side. "But, we are watching a movie on a Friday. So that makes this Friday a movie night."
"Whatever you say." Nozomi set her tea down with a smile, wrapping an arm around Honoka's waist and resting a hand on her stomach. "So what's the pick for tonight?"
"I was thinking something funny."
"You always say that." With the remote in hand, Nozomi flicked through the vast selection of movies on the screen. "How about a horror movie?'
Honoka shook her head, hair frizzing up into Nozomi's shoulder. "You know I don't like stuff like that."
"Come on, we never get to watch scary stuff." Nozomi smirked. "I've always wanted to do the whole cliched thing where my girlfriend gets scared and won't let go of me til the end of the movie. It seems like it'd be nice."
"I could just hug you during the movie anyway."
"You just don't understand. It wouldn't be the same." Nozomi kept sifting through possible movies, some newly released romantic comedy caught her eye. "What about this?"
"That looks good." Honoka righted herself, setting her feet down on the floor, now shoulder to shoulder with Nozomi.
"Someday I'll get you to watch a horror movie with me."
As Nozomi went to start the movie, her phone buzzed away on the table, interrupting her plans. The light cut through the already dim room, and Nozomi let her shoulder go slack with a drawn-out sigh.
"Who calls someone this late on a Friday?" Honoka leaned back into the couch, head tilted up toward the ceiling as she whined.
Fighting every nerve telling her to snuggle further into Honoka, Nozomi stood up. "Hopefully this will only take a second."
"I'm gonna start the movie without you if you take too long," Honoka said, rolling her head to face Nozomi.
Nozomi chuckled to herself, swiping her phone from the table and walking off down the short hall toward her room. With her phone still buzzing away, she left the door open a crack. Without much thought, or looking at the caller, Nozomi tapped the answer button and put the phone to her ear.
"Hello."
"It's been a while, Nozomi. How have you been?"
The voice was unmistakable. It was so similar to Nozomi's own, just a touch or two deeper, and with that same sense of playfulness that she would always try and emulate until it became second nature.
"It's been about a month since we last talked, mom. And I've been great." Nozomi did her best to keep her breathing level and steady as her heart beat faster. Not in fear or nerves, just surprise at hearing her mother's voice sooner than she anticipated.
"I'm happy to hear that. Are things still going well with that Kousaka girl? I really like her."
"Things have been going perfectly." Nozomi pictured the moment she introduced her girlfriend, and how happy she was for the immediate acceptance. "She's over right now, actually."
"Then I'll try and keep this short so I don't hold you for too long." A pause and Nozomi could've sworn she heard her mother taking deep breaths. "It's about the plans we made a while ago."
"About you coming back next week?" Nozomi asked, her hand tightening around the phone.
"Yeah." Another pause, this one longer. "It looks like me and your father's work isn't going to let us go for at least another couple of weeks."
"But." Nozomi choked back something awful. She heard the creaking of her phone as she squeezed harder and harder. "But you promised you'd be back on Monday."
"I'm so sorry. Your father and I tried everything, but the company won't budge on this deadline."
Nozomi used her free hand to rub her eyes of any oncoming tears. "I understand. I know how hectic your work can be."
"Nozomi."
There was nothing to say, so Nozomi kept quiet. This was how things always went, and she knew better than to raise a fuss. It never did any good anyway. So she'd fight it back like she always did, keeping those feelings of disappointment and frustration just below the surface. Her parents were always trying their best, and hurling those toxic feelings wasn't fair, or at least that's how Nozomi always justified it to herself.
"Really, it's fine mom." Nozomi closed her eyes tight, biting her lip to keep everything down. "I know these things happen sometimes."
"We'll try and come back as soon as we can."
It was always the same answer, though there was no ill-intention to it. "I hope I get to see you guys soon."
"Once we get done here, we'll get back before you know it." More silence, her mother's breathing deeper on the other end of the line. "I don't want to hold you form Honoka much longer. We're so sorry, and hopefully, we'll be able to talk later. Bye, Nozomi."
"Bye, mom."
"I'm really going to start it if you don't hurry up!"
Nozomi wasn't any time to process the call, Honoka's voice pulling her from any deep thinking. With a shake of the head and a deep breath, she pushed it all backdown. Walking out of her room and sitting back down next to Honoka with as good a smile as she could force.
"Who called you this late at night anyway?" Honoka asked, leaning her shoulder back into Nozomi's like she never left. "Don't you think that's kinda rude?"
"It's not that big of a deal." Nozomi knew she shouldn't have trusted her voice, the words coming out with an exasperation she never tried to show. "Everything's just fine, Honoka."
There was a pause before Nozomi went to start the movie, Honoka's face only inches away with a furrowed brow, as if searching for something hidden. It was scary, even if they'd been together for just over a year. Nozomi never did learn how to deal with the poking and prodding of sensitive subjects, and picking up on small emotions was never Honoka's strong suit, so she never felt a need to learn. Always keeping those feelings of disappointment, frustration, and anger just below the surface where she hoped nobody would ever look.
"You don't look like everything's fine?" Honoka kept her eyes wide, faces still inches from Nozomi's. "You aren't smiling the way I like."
Nozomi set the remote back down onto the table, using her now free hand to rub the bridge of her nose. "I'm being honest, there's nothing wrong. Now, why don't we just get back to picking out that movie."
Undeterred, Honoka didn't move an inch. "You're lying again. How long have we been together Nozomi? I might be slow, but I can tell when the girl I love is upset."
The words were sweet to Nozomi's ears, but the frustration and learned distance wouldn't allow her to revel. "I'm not lying, and I think it's best if we just drop this and get back to the movie," she said, taking a deep breath as she finished.
"I'm not going to stop until you tell me what's wrong."
Nozomi's hand slid from her nose down to the arm of the couch, squeezing, nails digging in. "Honestly Honoka, this isn't that big of a deal. So just drop it."
"Nope." Honoka pulled her face back, eyes still inspecting every inch of Nozomi's face. "You're upset, and we're not starting this movie until I know why. I want to help you with whatever the problem is."
"Did I ask for your help?" Nozomi licked her lips, heart beating faster and faster. "I don't need your help with this or anything else. So we are done talking about this."
Nozomi never meant for any of it to come out. Her misdirected disappointment and frustration finding its target in the one girl she held above all else. Instant regret, her stomach twisted into tight knots and eyes started to water of their own accord. She couldn't bring herself to look up as she heard Honoka's feet hit the floor with a loud thud, and felt the loss of warmth on her shoulder.
"Fine."
The patter of feet across the floor, an unlatching of a lock, and the reverberating slam of a door. Nozomi rubbed her eyes, vision blurring as she looked to her side, the only trace a half-eaten bag of chips left on the table.
Should she run after her? How do we make up? Is it over? Nozomi's mind swirled questions she never thought would have to be answered. A whole year and not a single fight, and now she had no idea where to start in putting things back together again..
Saturdays were Nico and Eli days. Evenings filled with memories, laughter, and catching up just like they were in high school again. They were routine, and it was something Nozomi couldn't get out of. Even with a mind preoccupied with an argument she had no idea how to resolve.
"It's so great to see both of you." Nozomi answered the door with a bright smile a bit too large, ushering her new guests in. "How have you two been?"
"We've been just fine," Eli said, greeting Nozomi with a quick hug as she walked in. "It's always so nice to see you, Nozomi."
"And how about you, Nicocchi." Nozomi shifted her attention, arms open wide and inviting.
Nico rolled her eyes, taking off her shoes as she walked out of the entryway and down the small hall to the living room without a second glance. "Just another week of work like always."
"You really haven't changed much since high school," Nozomi said, following behind her guests. She took a seat in a single chair next to the long couch where Nico and Eli sat. A couch she had a hard time looking at.
Nico sat down with a drawn-out sigh. "It's not like you have either. Still the same weirdo you were back then."
"Nico," Eli said, shooting a quick glare as she picked up a cup of pre-made tea from the table. "Let's not be like that tonight."
"She started it." Nico looked up at Eli, arms crossed. "Getting all friendly and hugging people as soon as they walk in the door. Who even does stuff like that?"
"So that's what this is." Nozomi smirked between the couple. Nico scoffed, Eli rolled her eyes. "You still get so jealous about Eli. Even after you two being together so long, and I've been with Honoka for over a year, Niccochi still gets jealous. I think it's cute."
"Is it so bad that I want to keep my girlfriend all to myself?" Nico asked without thinking.
"I think it's very sweet." Eli slung an arm around a grumbling Nico's shoulders, pulling her in. "But it would be nice if you didn't get upset with Nozomi over a little hug."
"Well normally I don't 'cause Honoka and Nozomi are all over each other all the time," Nico said, absently glancing about the room. "Where is Honoka anyway? I think she's been here every Saturday night since you guys got together."
Nozomi froze, any thoughts that this could be a simple, comfortable night were thrown out. She couldn't find anything to say as her eyes wandered. Her veneer forming small, almost imperceptible cracks.
"Nico's right." Eli focused on Nozomi, arm still around Nico's shoulder. "Why couldn't Honoka make it tonight?"
"Well, you see." Nozomi rubbed her sweaty neck. Her composure falling completely, mind blanking on anything resembling a good excuse. "I guess some things came up that she had to take care of."
"You guess?" Nico glared, her eyes hyper-focused on all of Nozomi's subtle and uncomfortable movements. "What do you mean 'you guess'? Shouldn't you of all people know?"
It was piercing and altogether uncomfortable, Nico's stare. Nozomi was never good with it. One of the two things that could routinely open her up, and in typical Nico fashion, it wasted no time. Her mouth ran dry, an uncomfortable and scary feeling that had become so foreign.
"I guess I should know." Nozomi met Nico's eyes for a second. A bad idea. "But I don't."
"Nozomi." Eli's voice was tender and inviting. Eyes wide, doing their best to coax everything out. "Is everything alright? You don't seem like yourself, and it's so rare to see you without Honoka, I was surprised not to see her when I first walked in."
Eli's calm care was the other thing Nozomi knew could make her open up. Not a hint of judgment or frustration. Simple curiosity paired with genuine care, and she could never find a way of answering it with anything that wasn't the truth. So she kept quiet. Hoping that the situation would resolve itself. She knew it wouldn't
"Oh god, something happened between you and Honoka, didn't it?" Nico asked, never breaking her stare. Nozomi looked away. "You had a fight with Honoka, and you don't know what to do about it."
Nico was too good at reading people for her own good, Nozomi slumped her shoulders. "I wouldn't call it a fight."
"But something happened?" Eli asked. Nozomi found it in herself to look up at her. "You can tell us. Maybe we can even help."
"You guys have fought before?" Nozomi asked, her question honest with no second motive. It surprised her. Were arguments normal?
Eli looked toward Nico who shrugged. "Everyone does, Nozomi. We aren't any different."
"I actually think it's weird that you two went an entire year without even an argument," Nico said. "That can't be healthy."
The thought never occurred to Nozomi. That fighting was something couples did and were still fully capable of staying together. Her inexperience shining through in her naivety. Embarrassing, when she really thought about it. Though her mind wasn't clogged with fear and despair, there was a small glimmer of hope that things weren't over.
"So, couples fight and get into arguments sometime?" Nozomi asked, her voice small. "That's normal?"
"I wouldn't call it normal," Eli said, chuckling to herself. "It's just that sometimes you don't agree with something, or you get mad and say things you shouldn't. It's not something you can't fix. I mean just last week Nico and I got into a bit of an argument."
"It wasn't even an argument." Nico pointed a finger, voice frantic and louder. "That girl was flirting with you the whole night we were out, and you kept letting her buy you drinks like it was no big deal."
Eli sighed. "She wasn't flirting, Nico. You're overreacting again."
"She gave you her number before she left."
Eli looked down at the ground, her voice much lower. "Okay, maybe she was."
"You see what I have to deal with." Nico pointed over at Nozomi. "It's a miracle she even picked up that I liked her."
Nozomi chuckled with a hand over her mouth, a weight lifted from her chest. Still worried, but not afraid.
Eli picked her head up, smiling at Nozomi. "See, couples argue sometimes. Nico and I might get into it more often than most, but I love her and I wouldn't trade it for anything."
"Now will you just tell us what happened?" Nico asked with her arms crossed and voice pointed.
Nozomi licked her dry lips, the fear was gone, but that didn't make it easy to be open. But the way Eli smiled, and the way Nico cared was enough. The knot in her throat was swallowed down.
"It happened so fast." Nozomi had a hard time focusing, her vision clouded by tears as she thought about the night before. "I got a call from my mom, and she canceled her plans to come back next week."
"I'm so sorry, Nozomi," Eli said. "I know how much you were looking forward to that."
"Thanks." Nozomi ran her sleeve across her face, partially to hide embarrassment. "I was really upset, and Honoka noticed."
"Don't tell me," Nico muttered, rubbing her temples and shaking her head.
"She kept trying to find out what was wrong and wouldn't stop when I asked her to." Nozomi looked away from Nico's rough gaze. "She kept asking, and I told her 'I don't need your help with this or anything else'. I couldn't even look at her. She said 'fine' and just walked out without saying anything. We've never fought like this before. I don't know what to do"
It was more than Nozomi meant to say. Lost in the comfort of two dear friends, and hoping beyond anything that things could go back to what they were, it was easier than she remembered.
"So you took your frustration out on Honoka?" Eli asked.
"It's not just that." Nozomi switched her focus to Eli, Nico's glare harsher than before. "Honoka wouldn't stop asking me what was wrong and kept prying. I've never been all that good at dealing with someone wanting to help me with my problems. So it all came out, I didn't even take a second to think about what I was saying."
"Then apologize." Nico's voice low and matter-of-fact.
"I don't think it's that easy."
"You doubt Nico's relationship advice?" Nico questioned, mock offended. "You said something you didn't mean and hurt Honoka. Just apologize, that girl loves you so much it's gross. I guarantee it'll fix itself if you just say sorry."
"I don't know. Honoka seemed so upset." Nozomi looked to Eli for reassurance. The need for advice was something Nozomi felt lost in. Always giving and giving, never taking, and that causing fears she had never learned to deal with.
"Nico's right, you should apologize first thing," Eli said, she answered Nico's gloating grin with a nudge to the side. "But, you should make sure that Honoka understands why you got made."
"You mean to tell her about what happened with my parents?" Nozomi asked.
"That too, but you should tell her what you told us today," Eli said. "If you get uncomfortable when Honoka tries to pry into your personal life, you need to tell her that. We've all known Honoka for a while now, she may not understand unless you spell it out for her."
Nozomi stayed quiet, mulling everything over. A mind filled with ideas of what to do next. No longer lost in a haze of inexperience and fear, instead filled with a need to bring back the person she'd come to love.
"Alright, enough of this awkward serious stuff." Nico kicked her feet onto the table in front of her, arm snugly around Eli's waist. "Tomorrow, you're going to apologize and have a big sappy conversation that fixes everything. Tonight, we are watching cheesy old romance movies that Honoka would never have agreed on if she were here, and laughing about how dumb they are."
"I'll go make some popcorn, then." Nozomi stood up, taking a quick look at the couple on the sofa. "Thanks a lot you two. I wouldn't have known where to start with this if you guys hadn't helped me with it."
"Of course, Nozomi." Eli looked up. "We'd also like it if you were more open with us about things like this."
"Yeah." Nico popped her head over Eli's. "Makes you seem like less of a creepy all-knowing witch, and more like an actual person."
Nozomi smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."
Homura was always dead on Sundays. A few regulars popping in and out was what Nozomi remembered from all the help she'd offered Honoka even before they started dating.
Nico and Eli's words drifted and swam through her mind as she stood just outside, hand on the door to enter. Deep breaths and quick licks of her lips were what she used to focus. There wasn't a plan, or much thought put into anything. She'd go in, and say what she felt needed to be said. She chuckled, wondering just how much Honoka had rubbed off on her in only a year.
A bell rung as she pushed forward. The interior was as she expected, empty. Though the lack of someone behind the counter was surprising.
Walking up to the front desk, Nozomi eyeballed all the freshly made sweets. The smell just as intoxicating as she knew the taste to be. She could just make out which of the treats were Honoka's. The small indents in the side of each manjuu could only come from someone with too much energy for such delicate work.
"Oh, Nozomi." Honoka poked her head out from the kitchen, hair tied up and apron wrapped around her waist. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in."
It felt too familiar, Nozomi expected something more hostile. "It's fine. I didn't come to buy anything. I wanted to talk to you."
Honoka's smile wavered before coming back just as strong. "Well, nobody's home right now. So you can just go on in and take a seat. I can't bring you anything because I'm working, but I should be done soon."
Nozomi nodded, keeping all thoughts to herself.
The living room was the same as ever. A table in the center, television off in the corner, and assorted family items were strewn about accenting the room. Nozomi did as told, plopping down at the table in the center, the only sound the occasional noises from the store's kitchen.
Nozomi couldn't focus on anything in particular, the reality of what was to come flooding her. What was supposed to be a from the heart talk became something more. Her mind raced with thoughts of what to say and how to say it. Honoka had seemed the same as always, and Nozomi wondered if she were the only one really worried about the other night.
Did Honoka already know about what Nico and Eli had said the other night? Was she really being so immature? Nozomi dismissed the thought. There was no way. She knew the both of them were just as inexperienced as the other. A botched first kiss and many messed up dates proved that fact long ago.
"Sorry I made you wait. Had to close up the shop and stuff." Honoka walked in with a small tray of freshly made confections. She sat down across from Nozomi, smile holding like it never left.
"Don't worry about it. I did drop by unannounced after all."
Silence, and Nozomi had no idea how to break it. She watched as Honoka nibbled on one of the sweets, eyes looking down at the table. The awkward air she feared was present, her palms started to sweat, and finger dug into thighs.
"So." Honoka started with a mouth full, eyes looking up at Nozomi's. "What did you want to talk about?"
Nozomi chewed her lip before answering. "I wanted to talk about Friday night."
"Oh, well, I thought so." Honoka stopped.
"I." Nozomi paused, trying to find anything to say. Her mind raced, but her heartbeat surprisingly steady. "I'm sorry for snapping at you like that. I was already upset after the phone call, and I took that out on you. You didn't deserve any of that."
"Who called?" Honoka asked, eyes down and head tilted.
"It was my mom." Nozomi tried to get a read on Honoka's thoughts, but her focus was to set on making things right. "My parents were supposed to come home sometime this week, but some things happened and they had to cancel."
"I didn't know," Honoka said. "I'm sorry."
"I know you didn't, and that's why I feel so awful." Nozomi tried to meet Honoka's eyes, but found it hard, choosing to keep them focused down at the table. "I should have talked to you about and opened up like you asked. I feel like such an idiot for getting mad at the girl I love over something like this."
Nozomi waited for an answer. All she heard were light footsteps as she waited. A gentle pressure pressed up against her shoulder, but her focus was still set toward the center of the table.
"I was really upset after what happened. I thought you didn't trust me or something, and that's why you weren't telling me." Honoka's voice was gentle into Nozomi's ear. She had moved around the table now sitting shoulder-to-shoulder.
"That's not it at all." Nozomi looked to her side, the only thing in her vision was Honoka's face.
"I know that now." Honoka smiled a half-smile. "But, I didn't really get it until I told Yukiho about what happened. She said 'you need to respect what your girlfriend says and not be such an idiot.'"
Nozomi gave a ghost of a smile. "Yukiho's as harsh on you as ever."
"She's always so mean." Honoka fake pouted, a smile coming back before she started again. "But I think she's right. You told me to stop and I didn't listen. That's not what a good girlfriend does."
"You're a wonderful girlfriend, Honoka. Don't think otherwise." Nozomi looked forward and broke eye contact, leaning her head onto Honoka's shoulder. "Yukiho was right, though. I was scared and didn't know what to do when you kept asking me all those questions. I think it made me even more frustrated."
"I'm sorry."
"You shouldn't apologize." Nozomi why it was so easy for things to fall back into place as she felt Honoka's arm snake around her waist. "One of the things I love most about you is how you always try and make me happy. Just, in the future, if I say to stop prying you should stop."
"You got it." Honoka's voice was back to its bubbly and loud self.
It was just as easy as Eli and Nico said. With her head on Honoka's shoulder and a caring arm around her waist, Nozomi wondered what she was afraid of in the first place. Her thoughts calmed, filled only now with the girl next to her.
"How about a movie?" Honoka asked, stroking Nozomi's side. "Nobody's gonna be home for a few hours."
"Sure." Nozomi closed her eyes and smiled. "Did you have one in mind?"
"Yukiho bought this super scary movie the other day. All the reviews say it'll make you scream."
"So you want to watch a horror movie?" Nozomi lifted her head, eyebrow quirked as she met Honoka's smile.
"Yeah." Honoka shrugged. "I really want to watch a scary movie with you."
Nozomi kept quiet as Honoka looked forward. She leaned over, planting a quick kiss on Honoka's cheek before resting her head back onto the warm shoulder she loved.