Moment of Truth

By Bren Ren

"The truth is, I've been trying to work up the nerve for a lot longer than that." The words echoed in her head as she took each measured step towards Jack O'Neill's door. She should have called first, she berated herself. After all, look at what had happened the last time she showed up unannounced...

Sam reached his door and stood there for a moment, steeling the last of her reserves. She lifted a heavy hand and knocked three times against the solid wood. She waited on pins and needles as she heard his footfall approach her. After what felt like an eternity, Jack opened the door.

"Carter!" Jack exclaimed in surprise. He regarded her nervous form for a moment. "Thought you were going to call when you got back."

Sam crossed her arms in front of her, a posture of self-defense if there ever was one. "I was... but... I didn't know what to say, so I just drove... and found myself here." She let out a slight, nervous laugh. "I didn't even unpack."

Jack took a step back, motioning for her to enter. "Come on in," he said quietly. Sam followed him inside, and Jack closed the door behind her.

"So... How are... things?" Sam asked, nerves on end.

"Oh, you know... Goa'uld are beaten, Replicators're wiped out of the galaxy... Daniel's back from the dead, again... Oh, and Kerry dumped me."

The words surprised the nerves right out of Sam. "She... dumped you? But..."

Jack smiled, a smile self-deprecating grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Apparently my issues are too much for her to surmount. One in particular."

Sam stood there staring blankly at him for a long moment. "Okay," she said when it became obvious he wasn't going to elaborate unprompted, "I'll bite... what issue?"

"You."

It was the last thing she was expecting. Well, maybe not the last thing, but it certainly wasn't the first.

"Oh," she managed.

"Yeah." Jack walked into the living room, leaving Sam to follow mutely. "Can I get you something to drink?" he offered.

"No, thanks. I'm fine."

"She had a suggestion for us."

"She did?" Sam asked, feeling dumb.

"Kerry said I should retire, run the SGC as a civilian. It's been done before, after all."

"She said that?" She was starting to feel like a parrot.

"That was assuming the regs were the only thing standing between us. But is that all there is?"

Sam was having a hard time keeping up--ironic considering the fact that she was one of the fastest minds on this planet. "Well, the truth is... I don't know anymore. At one time, yes... the regs were definitely on the forefront of things keeping us apart. But is that all there is standing between us now?"

"Well, let's see... You broke off your engagement... I got summarily dumped. The war is effectively over. As I mentioned earlier, the Goa'uld are gone, as are the Replicators. Now there is still a great big galaxy that's sure to be full of badguys we can piss off, but at the moment... Things are decidedly in our favor. For perhaps the first time since we started this program, I think we can say our primary mission objective has been met."

Sam smiled. It wasn't one of those million-megawatt beams she was famous for, but it was a start. "And now that the mission has been achieved, there can be time for other things."

"Other very important things," Jack added. He sat down on the couch and motioned for Sam to sit beside him, which she did.

Her nerves were fast becoming a thing of the past, and she had to marvel for a moment at how quickly he had put her at ease. He had a way about him that made her simply relax in his presence, and it was one of the many things about them that worked so well together in the past. It reassured her that in future they would function similarly. While many things would likely change in their ways of dealing with one another, she was sure that this affable meeting of the minds would hold fast. The question remained how their hearts would adapt.

"It's been a long time coming," Sam mused aloud. "I've been wanting to talk to you about..." she waved between them, "this... for a long time. Since I got stranded on the Prometheus, actually."

"But you started dating... instead." It wasn't an accusation, just a statement of fact.

"Because I couldn't seem to work up the nerve to actually talk to you about... us." Sam sighed. "And then Pete just happened to come along, and he filled the void." She ran a hand through her hair, mussing the strands. "I didn't mean for things to go as far as they did. He was just a pleasant... distraction. Then he got more involved, and I felt... I don't know, obligated, I guess, to take things through the natural progression... But it never felt right. That whole life... just never fit right. I finally got to the point where I had to bow out. I'm sorry... I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you."

Jack regarded her for a long, wary moment. "It's okay, Sam. You're here now. That's what counts."

Sam folded her hands in her lap. "So... where do we go from here?"

"Wherever you want." Jack reached across and rested one warm hand on top of hers. "Although, I was thinking..."

Sam responded to the gleam in his eye as much as to his words. "You were thinking?"

"Yes," he replied, ever-so-slightly snide. "Well, I was thinking we're all due for a little downtime. Why don't you join me for a weekend out at the cabin?"

Just like that, the invitation was on the table. What struck Sam was that for the first time, she didn't feel inclined to reject it out of hand. "Time to go fishing?"

"Yeah. What do you say?" Jack offered her one of his rare, unreserved grins.

In return, Sam smiled, this one a smile so beautiful that it almost brought tears to Jack's eyes. "Sure. That sounds perfect."

Jack nearly did a double take, but just managed to reign in his soaring emotions. "I'm sure you've got a million things left to take care of for Dad," he said in gentle reminder.

"Yes... the services are tomorrow. He'll be buried next to mom, just like he wanted." Sam took a moment to collect her thoughts. She finally turned her hand under Jack's and wove her fingers through his. He squeezed her hand, and she returned the gesture.

"So, after the services are all wrapped up, we'll get packed and head out."

Sam nodded in agreement with the plan. The thought of saying a final farewell to her father was getting Sam a bit choked up, and she didn't want to speak for fear the flood of emotions roiling on the surface would come exploding out. She wasn't sure she was ready for it.

Jack, for his part, seemed to sense Sam's unease. He tugged her hand and pulled her into a warm hug. His arms came around her as she moved to settle into his embrace. He felt her shudder once, then twice, and finally, he heard a tell-tale sniff that clearly indicated she was crying. He began stroking her back, muttering nonsensical assurances as she sobbed her heart out on his shoulder.

After a while, the sobs subsided, and slowly, Sam's breathing returned to normal. Still, she didn't seek to extract herself from Jack's embrace; instead, she found herself savoring every moment of contact with his warm, firm body. He was solid and real and exactly what she needed to anchor herself in this maelstrom of emotions.

She lifted her head to meet his gaze with eyes that were puffy and still a tad too watery for her own liking. "I'm sorry… I don't usually break down like that."

"It's quite all right," Jack reassured her. You just lost your dad. A few tears are too be expected. Healthy, even."

"Still…" Sam trailed off as she regarded him for a moment, their faces close enough together that she could feel his warm breath wafting across her still-damp face. "Sir—"

"Ah, ah." Jack pulled a hand out to waggle his finger in front of her. "We're off duty. All things considered, you can and should call me Jack." At her frown, he added, "I'll make it an order if that'll make you feel better."

"No, sir—Jack. Sorry, habit." She smiled, somewhat embarrassed.

"I think it's time to form some new habits." His hand found its way to caress her cheek. "It's time for some serious changes between us."

Sam nodded, again not trusting her voice. She was sure it would crack and reveal to the world how frightened and insecure she suddenly felt. Then she saw something shift in Jack's gaze, felt that shift mirror in her own eyes.

She wanted him to kiss her, she realized. No sooner did the thought cross her mind, though, than she found herself rejecting it. Not now, when she was raw with grief. When he kissed her, it should be about them, the connection and feelings between them, not about comfort or loss or grief.

When he kissed her, she thought again. Not if, but when.

She brought her gaze back to his, tilting her head slightly to rest in his hand, which was still lingering on her cheek. "Thank you, Jack."

"For what?"

Sam sniffed, and then smiled. He truly didn't realize just how much of a difference he made to her, how much his simple presence could calm and assure her. She shook her head, and as she moved, she felt his hand move up into her hair, his long fingers tangling in her short tresses. "For being here for me. For being you. For… everything."

Jack looked at her with a soft and gentle smile. "Always," he promised once again, and Sam finally felt certain that things were going to work out right. As long as he was by her side, she could survive anything.