Madoka's Endless Cycle
Madoka Magica
The morning sun shined into my eyes as I slowly woke up and sat up on my bed. At least, that's what I thought at first. I glanced around the room and realized that I wasn't in the hospital. It looked like I was in some sort of nursing home. I didn't remember being checked into such a place. I was supposed to be discharged today. I had already registered for school as well. I thought back to try to figure out why I was here, but nothing came to mind.
"You're awake."
I turned to see a girl in a few feet away. She had short pink hair tied with red ribbons. Her face looked cold and emotionless. I didn't know what to make of her. The girls looked at me and frowned.
"Homura-chan, I know you're confused." She told me. "Please trust me, I'm your friend."
I felt conflicted. This voice sounded friendly, but also so cold and distant. I rose to my feet and approached the mysterious girl. My first question was obvious.
"Who... are you?"
The girl shuttered a bit as I asked this question. It was almost like she dreaded that question and prayed to God that I didn't ask it. She looked down a bit and answered.
"My name is Madoka Kaname." She quietly replied.
Finally, I got her name. Now it was time to ask the other things I needed to know.
"Kaname-san, could you tell me what I'm doing here?" I asked her. "I'm supposed to be heading to school soon."
"Please call me Madoka." She told me. "And today isn't your first day back at school, Homura-chan. You're suffering from amnesia. It's already happened."
Madoka's voice sounded so weird. It was a cocktail of anger, sadness, and indifference. It took me a few seconds to fully process what she said.
"Huh? Amnesia?" I asked her, clearly confused. "What are you talking about? I feel-"
I cut myself when I caught a glance of a wall calendar hung right at my eye level. Apparently, it was November 2016. How was that possible? My last time I checked it was December 2015. I did spend an entire year in a coma? I stumbled as I walked over to inspect the calendar further. The photo displayed was a picturesque snapshot of Central Park in New York City, somewhere I had always wanted to visit. I looked down to see fourteen days crossed out in black permanent marker. Madoka walked up from behind me with that same permanent marker in her hand. She crossed out the fifteenth day on the calendar. I guess it was actually the sixteenth.
"Like I said, you have amnesia, Homura-chan." Madoka told me. "You hit your head when a cyclone hit town recently. You can't remember going to school in Mitakihara, right?"
"No…" I confirmed. "The last thing I remember is going to bed the day before I was supposed to be discharged from the hospital and return to school. Has it really been eleven months?"
"It has." Madoka bluntly responded. She looked me right in the eyes and then motioned to the door. "Follow me down to the cafeteria. You must be hungry."
I followed Madoka out to a hallway and down to a set of stairs. There was nothing but silence during our walk through the building. I decided to speak up and start a new conversation.
"Hey, Madoka." I called out. "How old are you?"
"Fifteen." She replied. "Why?"
"Wow. You're just as old as me." I stated, genuinely surprised. "Do you actually work here?"
"I do." Madoka repiled. "I work here full-time Monday to Friday and volunteer on weekends."
"What?" I stepped back, a bit shocked. "That's a full schedule. What… what about sch-"
"I homeschool when I have time." She answered. I retreated back into my shell.
"Okay…" I weakly responded. Madoka seemed to have an authority that I lacked. We travelled a few more metres before arriving that our destination. We ordered some food and sat down at a table. I was about to start eating my hotdog when Madoka pulled a bottle out of her bag. A bottle of hot mustard. My preferred condiment.
"Can I use some of that?" I asked her. "I really like hot mustard."
"Of course." Madoka responded. I could make out a small smile on her face as she slid the bottle across the table. It was already open. I grabbed it and spread it on my meal. I then handed it back to Madoka, who placed it back in her bag.
"You're not going to use it on your own food?" I asked her. Madoka shook her head.
"No. It's not really my thing."
Madoka answered my question with a vague dismissal. It bothered me a bit though. Why would Madoka bring a bottle of hot mustard to work if she didn't like it herself? It must've been for me then. How did she know I liked hot mustard though? And why was the bottle already open?
"Let me bring you up to speed on the news."
While we ate, Madoka pulled out a tablet and showed me several fascinating news articles from the past year. I was surprised that she found topics that interested me so much. It was weird, almost a bit creepy. She was a bit too organized. I then came up with an idea. I turned to Madoka once I was done eating.
"Hey, Madoka." I called her again. "Before I hit my head… were we friends?"
Madoka dropped her fork on her plate and looked me right in the eyes. She then spoke in a cold and serious voice.
"We are friends." Madoka emphasized. "Don't use past tense."
"Oh, right." I barely got my words out. "Sorry, Madoka."
She picked up her fork and finished eating. We then stood up and headed back to my room. Madoka reached into the drawer of my nightstand and retrieved a glowing purple gemstone. She stuffed the stone into her pocket and reached further into the drawer. Madoka pulled out an entirely new set of clothes and draped over the bed.
"We'll be heading out soon." Madoka stated. "Change into this. I'll wait outside until you're finished.
She then slowly walked out the door and closed it behind her. I took a look at the outfit that Madoka had left for me. There was a bright striped top with a pair of brown pants and a cute matching jacket. I smiled as I pressed the striped shirt against my chest. It seemed to be the perfect size. How did she know my size? I placed the shirt back on the bed and got changed. I opened the door to see Madoka waiting for me. Her cold expression softened a bit.
"Are you ready?" She asked me. I hesitantly nodded.
"Good." Madoka said. "I need to run a quick errand in downtown, but after that, we can do whatever you want."
"Okay…"
I followed Madoka downstairs and then outside. We walked to a train station and ride the main line into downtown. Madoka lead me into main shopping district and we sat down on a bench. I wasn't sure what we were doing sitting here Madoka shushed me whenever I tried to speak up. Five minutes passed.
While we waited another girl approached us. She looked about our age and she was wearing a middle school uniform. The girl reached us and looked Madoka right in the eyes.
"Cold day, isn't it?" The girl asked with a cocky smile on her face. Madoka responded in her typical cold tone.
"I'm from Sapporo." Madoka responded. "This is nothing."
The other girl nodded. She then reached into her bag and produced a dark black ornament. They honestly looked a bit pretty and I thought it belonged on a Christmas tree. Madoka then surprised me by digging into her wallet and pulling out a 10,000 yen bill. She handed it to the girl and received the black ornament in return.
"Nice doing business with you."
The girl said this and walked off. I was really confused. Who was that girl and what was this black ornament now in Madoka's hands? Why was it worth 10,000 yen? Madoka then reached into her pocket and pulled out that purple gemstone from earlier. She pressed the two objects together and the was some sort of weird reaction. The gemstone glowed even brighter and the black ornament somehow grew even darker.
As Madoka was doing that, a small white dog approached us. Madoka immediately spotted it and gave it the evil eye. The animal stopped in its tracks, almost like it understood what was going on.
"Kyubey…" Madoka angrily mumbled this under her breath. She threw the black ornament and hit at the dog right in the face. The dog grabbed the ornament using its mouth and ran into an alleyway.
"Come on, Homura-chan." Madoka called out to me as she stood up. "Where do you want to go?"
"Hmmm…" I thought about this as I stood up as well. "Is there a shopping mall around here?"
Madoka lead me a few blocks over to a huge shopping centre. I had no idea where to begin. We spent the whole day having fun around town and eventually made it a wonderful glow-in-the-dark bowling alley and mini golf course. This is where I got to show off my laughable bowling and putting skills. Madoka didn't do much better though, which made you feel a bit better. Speaking if Madoka, I had the delightful experience to seeing her smile and I felt that was an accomplishment.
"Strike!" I happily cried out. I was so proud that I actually managed to knock down all ten pins. I then turned to my opponent. "Your turn, Madoka."
Madoka grabbed a bowling ball and threw it right into the gutter wall. The ball bounced off the wall and knocked over five leftmost pins. She sighed in frustration.
"Don't worry, Madoka." I comforted her. "You can still get a spare."
"I know, I know." Madoka sighed once again. She then grabbed a second ball and hurled it at the remaining pins. She knocked all of the down and got the spare.
"Yes! I knew you could do it, Madoka!"
I cried this out with a smile. Madoka cracked a smile as well. I didn't want this to end. The mood was suddenly ruined by Madoka's phone going off. She pulled the device out of her pocket and the light in her eyes went out.
"I'm afraid we have to go." Madoka told me. "It's 10 PM."
"Really?" I asked with a yawn. "I guess that explains why I'm so sleepy."
I could see Madoka's eyes shrink as I said this so casually. She looked petrified. I froze for several painful seconds. I was scared too. What had gotten into her?
"S-sorry." Madoka apologized, her voice shaking."I... didn't mean to frighten you. Let's head out."
We both keep quiet as we got to the train station and hopped on the main rail line. We got off the train and arrived at the nursing home. We climbed the stairs and reached my room. I stretched my arms and yawned.
"I'm really tired tonight." I told Madoka. "I think I'm going to bed early tonight."
"Wait! Don't!"
I took a single step towards the bed and felt Madoka grab my arm. It seemed like she was holding on for dear life. Her face also reflected this. She looked scared. She looked sad. Madoka was acting just like she was at the bowling alley. I had to speak up this time.
"Madoka, what's wrong?" I asked her. "Why don't you want me to go to bed?"
"I… I…"
Madoka couldn't come up with an answer. I shook her hand off of my arm and continued my walk to the bed.
"Don't do it!" Madoka cried out, clearly getting more desperate. "Trust me, just stay awake!"
"Why should I?" I barked back. "What are you hiding?"
Madoka began to cry. Tears started to form. She ran over and hugged me tightly. Her voice cracked as she tried to stop me once again.
"Please, just trust me." Madoka quietly begged me. "I wouldn't hide anything from you if I didn't think it would hurt you. Please trust me."
"That's your excuse?" I asked with a touch of anger. "You think it would hurt me? If that's the case, I'll need to find out eventually. You're probably hurting me more by not telling me. If anything, you're being selfish."
"You don't understand." Madoka continued sobbing. "There's no point in telling you. Not when you'll-"
"TELL ME!"
I yelled that at the top of my lungs. I already was tired of dealing of Madoka excuses. Perhaps I was a bit too mean, but my message got across. Madoka broke the hug and took a few steps back. She had stopped crying, but her eyes were still red. Madoka reached into her bag and grabbed a box of kleenexes. She blew her nose a few times. She looked me down with a sad and broken expression.
"Homura-chan, you don't just have amnesia." She told me. "You have anterograde amnesia. This means you can't form any new long term memories. You'll go to sleep tonight and forget everything we did today."
"What?"
This was the only response I could muster. Was this really true? This idea paralyzed me. I had to know more. Luckily for me, Madoka continued.
"You hit your head eleven months ago." Madoka said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "It was during the battle with Walpurgisnacht. You managed to defeat it, but ended up critically injured." Madoka stopped to take a deep breath. "The doctors fixed you up the best they could, but it wasn't enough. They left you like this. I've been taking care of you ever since.
"Wait… Walpurgisnacht?" I questioned. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh. That's a long story." Madoka explained. "And it's not really related to your injury."
"Okay..." I quietly brushed off her vague answer. "How long have you been taking care of me? How many days?"
"I would say about three hundred days." Madoka said as she looked down at the floor. "I started working here in January."
"Three hundred…?" I slowly repeated that number. "You've been through all of this three hundred times? Why? Aren't I a lost cause at this point?"
"Not you're not! I care too much about you!"
Madoka screamed this as loud as she could. Ran forward and hugged me once again. I could feel her tears landing on my shoulder this time.
"Homura-chan, I know you don't remember, but you did something very similar to this for me!" She cried out. "I won't stop until I can finally find a doctor that can fix you! It's the least I can do!"
Madoka broke this second hug, but she remained holding my hand. The crying had stopped, but her eyes were still red. Madoka continued.
"I've made it my mission to make you happy every hour of every day. That's why I didn't want to tell you the truth."
All the puzzle pieces were coming together. This explained why Madoka had the hot mustard bottle and why this outfit I was wearing felt me so snuggly. Past versions of me probably also used that bottle and another version of me probably helped Madoka pick out this outfit I was wearing. Madoka really cared about me. Tears started to form in my eyes too. I walked up to Madoka and put on a fake smile.
"Madoka, why don't we discuss this more over a cup of hot chocolate." I asked her this in the most positive tone I could muster. It was Madoka's turn for a sheepish reply.
"Okay…"
We headed down to an empty cafeteria and fetched two cups of hot chocolate. We talked for an additional hour. Madoka poured her soul out for me. I heard all sorts of stories from the past year. Madoka truly was in a lot of pain and I felt sorry for her, helpless even. Anything I said, Madoka already heard like twenty times. The caffeine in the hot chocolate was starting to really wear off as we climbed the stairs back to my room for the third and final time. Madoka helped me into bed. It was 3 AM now and I felt that I was going to pass out any second.
I slipped into bed and held Madoka's hand. Madoka was starting to cry again. I forced another smile on my face.
"Come on, Madoka." I comforted her. "Don't cry. I'll see you in morning."
"Yeah." Madoka confirmed. "I know. Goodnight, Homura-chan."
"Goodnight, Madoka."
I said this and closed my eyes. I felt myself falling deeper and deeper into graceful relaxation. I felt Madoka's grip tighten as the minutes passed. This grip faded away as quickly I drifted into sleep.
~The End~