Disclaimer: To avoid all this chit-chat later, I hereby politely inform that I don't own any of the characters, nor the idea of "House MD".
(Yeah, I know... Something's wrong with me. Really wrong ;-))

Oh, and one more thing - yes, this is a oneshot. My last intended-to-be-oneshot ended up with twelve chapters AND an epilogue. I won't change my mind this time.
Unless...
Unless unless unless.
(Yeah, you're right - the last two lines are taken from "The Gun Seller". I don't own them either.)
Unless you have a good idea what to do with it.

I've finished. Woo-hoo. Enjoy ;-)

"Are you completely insane?!" House was standing in front of his board, yelling at Cameron and Chase. The board was full of various symptoms. "How long were you planning to hassle me with that non-existing patient with loads of inexplicable symptoms?! What are you playing?!

I'm the one to play games here, he added in his mind.

Cam and Chase exchanged knowing looks and started giggling like little kids.

"Hey, I'd like to remind you I'm still here!" House was becoming more and more furious.

They calmed down immediately.

"We wanted to…" started Chase, but House interrupted him and stormed out of the room. When the door closed after him, they burst out laughing again.

House ran into Cuddy's office without knocking, as always.

"What do you want?" she asked without even raising her head. He was the only person that usually rushed into her office like that.

"You can't imagine what those idiots have done!"

"Did you come here to complain?" she stared at him surprised. "That's weird – usually people complain abut you. For the first time you've been on the opposite side. I'm all ears, then."

"They've invented a non-existing patient, given me his chart, tons of test results that haven't fit at all and bothered me for four hours!"

"Maybe they had a good reason," she smiled slightly. "By the way, have you managed to diagnose him?"

"Who?"

"That non-existing patient," she burst out laughing and focused on her work.

"Great. Thanks for your support."

He turned on his heel and went out.

On the corridor he noticed Wilson.

"Hey! Would you like to eat lunch with me?"

Actually, he wanted to ask 'Would you like to stand me lunch?', but he came to the conclusion that it sounded better that way.

"Not now, I' busy." It was clearly visible he wanted to get rid of House.

It all started to become very annoying.

"What the hell is going on in this hospital?! Everybody is acting strange. Have I forgotten about Fool's Day?"

"House, sorry, but I'm already late," he murmured and went towards the clinic.

House shrugged his shoulders and came back to his office. On the way he spotted a large group of journalists crowded outside the ER.

"What are you waiting for?" he asked one of them.

"President's spokesperson. We'd like to ask about his condition."

"Since when are you interested in president's spokesperson's condition?"

"Not the spokesperson's, president's!" the man got impatient. He turned towards the door and stared at it as if he'd like to enchant it.

PRESIDENT?! There weren't many things that could catch House off guard, but he hated one situation: not being informed. Suddenly he noticed Foreman with Chase and Cameron. He was apparently angry at them. And House knew why.

"You were supposed to find him a work that would occupy him, make sure he wouldn't find out! What the hell did you think?! Secret lovers, dammit! They invented a patient!"

"It worked for four hours," Cameron protested.

"It was supposed to work for at least four days!"

He noticed House. "You already know?"

"That my coworkers are idiots? For a long time. Why didn't you want me to know about the visit of the head of the state?"

"Because you would probably want 'to cure him or, what's more probable, offend him. And Cuddy doesn't need a diplomatic scandal."

"What do you suspect me of?" House smirked. "What did you mean by calling them 'secret lovers'?" he asked suddenly.

Cam blushed so that her face was exactly the same color her new blouse was.

"You know… We…" She began to stammer. "On Sunday… We got married."

Now House was completely shocked.

"And did you plan to tell me some day, or was I supposed to find out when the name in your ID card would change?"

"Of course we did… later." They gazed at each other.

House rolled his eyes. Suddenly he spotted Wilson coming out from the exam room. He decided to solve all mysteries at one stroke.

"Hey, Jimmi!" he yelled and approached his friend. "Now you can't hedge. What's going on?"

His face was as red as Cam's blouse. He sighed.

"One way or another, you'll eventually find out. Until tomorrow the whole hospital will know. Whatever, I don't care."

Nice beginning, thought House.

"Could you please go on?"

Wilson took a deep breath. "I'm attending dance classes."

There was only pure shock on House's face. It was even more shocking than Cam and Chase's wedding. Before he could answer, Wilson quickly went away.

"What's up, Doctor?" Cuddy was standing behind him, looking at him with a wide smile.

"Foreman was hiding President, Chase and Cameron their wedding, Wilson dance classes…" He shook his head. "See? Everybody lies, I told you. What are you hiding?" he asked resigned.

She didn't answer. She lowered her head, pretending that she was looking for something in her bag. If House could see her face behind her black hair, he would see a slight smile and the same color that he had seen on Cam's and Wilson's faces. But the reason of that was completely different…