Title: Secret Inanities of the Yagami Kind

Author: Rokutagrl

Disclaimer: I, ladies and gentlemen, am not the owner of Digimon.

Characters: Mainly the 01 cast, with random 02 members thrown in every once and a while!

Pairings: Taishirou, but the others you'll have to read to see :D

Warnings: Just odd silliness.

Summary: There are some things no one person should ever be subjected to. Unfortunately for Taichi Yagami all of this is just routine in his inane life.

A/N: Edited :D

There's something awfully sad, yet poetically romantic about falling in love with your best friend because you've resigned yourself—unwittingly—to a fate worse than any punishment the damned devil could scheme up.

Really, any torment in hell would probably be a vacation next to this. The fact that you're in hell also means you've probably died and now no longer have to face said person, where as on a regular vacation they would most likely be waving at you from the next seat. So, uhm, congratulations on your passing, by the way!

All right, so there's only a fifty percent chance of actually getting an 'I like you, too!' reply in this kind of situation. The other fifty percent being that you watch them be swept away by a Dashing Prince (or Lovely Princess).

True, it's the same chance you take in every relationship, but most people are smart enough to create an attraction to someone they hardly know. Why are they smart? Because when that Prince (or Princess) does come skulking around, they don't have to wake up with dread every morning knowing that they'll have to look into those puppy dog eyes filled with overwhelming happiness that they did NOT help put there.

Most people are smart that way.

But not I. Oh no. Certainly not.

I went and fell in love with my Best Fucking Friend.

Most people would say that I'm the pitfall of the barrel—certainly not the brightest person out there. So I guess the fact that I've stupidly fallen head over heels while knowing all this shouldn't be the greatest shock jock to hit the streets.

The worst part of it is that I don't even get that fifty percent chance of happiness with the winner my heart picked out. No, Life wouldn't be that fair.

Because when you're a guy in love with your best friend, who also happens to have a little something extra between the legs, the chances of actually getting any sort of reply to any sort of confession (at least a nice reply) slims down to perhaps a twenty-five percent.

And when that person happens to be Izumi, Koushirou whose greatest love ever born was actually invented the chances of him actually hearing and responding equals out to a flat negative one hundred and twenty percent.

I'm not too certain if my calculations are correct, because let's face it I failed Statistics three times in High School and only passed with a B- in College because Koushirou offered to help me with my work (more like beat me verbally to do my work). And I might have been able to pull off a solid B if not for the fact that I shared said class with none other than the redheaded genius distracting me every ten seconds. The way he chews his pencils can be rather sensual… I mean, hypnotic… I mean… Yeah…

See how fair life is?

It doesn't help one bit either that we never get to see each other now that we're college graduates. Like the fact that our hometowns are eight hours away by train, much more by car. That's money and time neither of us actually have to spare.

And now that the bastard has gone off overseas, the amount of time we get to see each other is also somewhere in the negative digits.

Fuck Statistics.

And you know what else really sucks? When Koushirou does start to notice the female race I'll probably be the first (and only) person to hear about it. Or the fact that a Miss Mimi Tachikawa from work is actually batting her faux long lashes at him for reasons other than dry eyes. Or when he discovers the hidden motives behind her courteous behavior—and most probably the after effects of said "courtesy"— I'll be receiving an e-mail about that, as well. All this from the guy I finally want to notice me!

But having fallen in love with my best friend, who is also male, and also oblivious to all breathing creatures on earth, this is the fate I've resigned myself to.

Because even though I might not be the one putting that extra sparkle in his deep black eyes, at least I'll know he's happy.

And I can live with that.

I think…