The Great Shiz Dare-Off
Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked or its characters etcetera etcetera, you know the drill.
Summary: The rules are simple. No dare-backs. Two passes only. Last one standing wins. Are you shameless enough to survive? Ladies and gentlemen, we are at war!
Dare 1 - Elphaba Defies Authority
It was quiet in the library. The students present were few and far between, studying hard for their upcoming mid-term papers. Although none studied harder than the green girl tucked away by the third floor fireplace. As per usual she was surrounded by a mountain of books piled in order of relevance to her current area of study. On the right were the thick course textbooks and recommended readings, and to the left a variety of less relevant, some might say recreational, readings.
She had been studying in peace for almost the entire day, having only stopped for lunch, when the arrival of her blonde roommate
"Elphie!" called her blonde friend as she emerged from the staircase dragging her reluctant boyfriend behind her. As per usual, the blonde was the epitome of the latest fashion, her perfectly curled hair bobbing, tiny handbag swinging and heels clacking as she made her way towards her green friend.
Elphaba sighed and lowered her book momentarily. "We're in a library, Glin," she said, blatantly ignoring the man she had with her.
Galinda shot her an unamused look before setting herself down in the chair opposite Elphaba's text mountain, pulling her royal entourage down with her. She was just opening her mouth to explain why they were in the library when her companion spoke up first.
"Hi, Elphie," the accompanying boyfriend smirked.
"Fiyero." Elphaba glanced his way before returning to her book. "I'm surprised to see you here, I thought you were allergic to knowledge in all its forms?"
Fiyero shrugged. "I've taken the necessary drugs so I can be here. They'll wear off in a few minutes though."
The green girl raised an eyebrow at him before looking to Galinda for an explanation.
"Well," began the blonde, practically bouncing in anticipation. "Fiyero and I were just about to head off for an afternoon coffee and we were wondering if you wanted to come along."
Elphaba blinked at her, considering the offer for a moment before replying, "No thanks, I've got a lot of reading to do, as you can see."
"What are you reading?" the prince asked.
"Household Poisons and their Potency: A Guide to Domestic Murder," the green girl replied, barely batting an eye.
"Planning a homicide?"
"I'm considering it," she replied, glaring at him pointedly.
"So anyway, Elphie," Galinda piped up. "Why are you reading so much?"
Elphaba sighed. "I have to tutor this failing rich kid for Madame Morrible this afternoon."
"Can't you reschedule and come with us?" pleaded Galinda.
"Alas, I cannot," replied Elphaba with mock disappointment, but real bitterness. "Morrible practically ordered me to because this guy's parents are major sponsors of the university."
Galinda looked decidedly crestfallen while Fiyero looked incredulous. "Oh come on!" said Fiyero. "He can't be that important."
Elphaba shrugged. "She offered me extra credit on all of my subjects if I helped him."
"It's not like you need the marks," Fiyero said. "I think you're just scared to defy her authority."
"No I'm not!" Elphaba cried.
"I bet you couldn't say no to her if you tried," taunted Fiyero.
"How much are we betting?" Elphaba shot back, eyes shining with challenge.
Fiyero opened his mouth before closing it quickly, shaking his head. "No money," he said. "I dare you."
Beside Fiyero, Galinda let out an ominous, "Ooooooh!"
Elphaba's eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. "Alright," she said, finally. "You're on."
As if on queue Madame Morrible then decided to make an appearance, sweeping into the library and b-lining straight for Elphaba's favourite spot.
"Miss Elphaba," she said on arrival.
"I have no idea how she talks with her lips like that," Fiyero mused under his breath, heard only by the girls who fought to contain their snickers.
Unperturbed, Morrible continued, "Master Demetri has been waiting in D-block for your tutelage for the past twenty minutes, and yet here you are socialising."
"What!?" Horrified, Elphaba swung her gaze to the clock on the opposite wall. Her tutoring session was set for half past four, yet the clock on the wall said quarter to three.
It had been quarter to three for over two hours.
Elphaba let out a groan and let her head fall into her hands. How had she not noticed?
"Well?" Madame Morrible said through her permanently pursed lips. "I hope you have a good reason for putting your extra credit on the line."
Galinda and Fiyero turned their gazes to Elphaba and waited. There was nothing Elphaba loved more than extra credit, but her stubborn side was putting up a fierce fight.
The green girl's mouth opened and closed a few times before she finally found what she hoped to be the right words. "Demetri is a player and has the IQ of a goldfish, no amount of tutoring from me can change that. Unless of course you want me to write his essay for him?"
If Fiyero and Galinda were shocked, then saying that Morrible was flabbergasted would be an understatement. Elphaba on the other hand, while looking perfectly calm and defiant on the outside, was screaming on the inside.
Madame Morrible floundered for the right words for a number of minutes before spluttering out, "Well then, I suppose you won't mind me sending a letter to your father detailing your insubordination
Elphaba's eyes widened before she bolted from her chair after the Headshizstress, frantically apologising.
Back by the fireplace, Fiyero and Galinda were steadily coming out of their shocked stupor.
"I didn't think she'd actually do it," said Fiyero.
Galinda gave a nod of agreement. "And so spectacularly too."
The two looked at each other before promptly bursting out laughing.
"That was priceless!" Fiyero gasped out between chuckles.
When the two had adequately recovered they stood and began to make their way out of the building.
"I feel bad for Elphie though," said Galinda with a sad grimace.
"Hey, she's the one who accepted the dare." Fiyero shrugged.
"Would you have accepted the dare?" asked Galinda.
"Of course!" The prince declared. "I never back down from a dare."
"So, what are you going to do when she dares you back?" Galinda smirked.
Fiyero paled as the enormity of the situation dawned on him. "What have I done?"
I'm BAAAACK! And with something funny no less! My brain was positively melting with the seriousness of As The Crow Flies, I just needed a sillyness break. So here we are, with The Great Shiz Dare-Off! I was so excited to get this written down that I forewent my Saturday Mid-Morning Movie tradition to smash it out. You should be grateful!
Each chapter is going to consist of the dare being given and then carried out by the daree, steadily getting bigger and crazier as time goes by. Feel free to submit your dares and we shall see how they play out!
Next Chapter: In which Elphaba dares Galinda.